Three years on...

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:02 am

And still the ex tries to use the children as pawns.

The day my Mum was admitted to hospital my ex rang me and gave me a sob story about not being able to afford to pay his mortgage and I should ring the CSA and tell them that I get paid direct from him. According to the ex if I do that my payments get cut by Â£10, he thinks I should take that cut so that he can afford to stay in his house and still have the children three weekends a month. In reality my benefits would be cut by Â£27. I've explained this to him but he's not heard me. I've just found a message on my answerphone saying that he will not be seeing the children again as I have failed to get the CSA off his back :rolleyes:

I'm about to text him to say 'Ok then'

Then the children and I are heading out for coffee and a chat as to exactly why they will not be seeing their Dad this weekend. I have smoothed things over and protected him for their sakes for far too long.

theia · Post by **theia** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:08 am

You just didn't need any of this now, did you? I hope the chat with the children went well. Lots of love to you :-4

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:17 am

Maybe he could try and find a place that he can afford, eh?:-5

suzy_creamcheese · Post by **suzy_creamcheese** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 8:43 am

what a total pain in the arse. I agree there comes a point when youve protected them long enough. Its really crap that we have to be the ones to make excuses for our exes all the time

The main thing is, as long as they know its NOT their fault. Its nothing they did wrong.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 1:57 pm

theia;944200 wrote: You just didn't need any of this now, did you? I hope the chat with the children went well. Lots of love to you :-4

Could have been better timing but hey ho... Children were fine, they're actually quite happy to be here with me this weekend :-6

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:01 pm

flopstock;944214 wrote: Maybe he could try and find a place that he can afford, eh?:-5

He's in what was our home, he had to buy me out. I did mention to him that I thought he would struggle to do it on his own, even suggested he got a lodger, but then what would I know.

He's been telling the children that he is going to be homeless soon and its all Mummys fault - HELLOOOO three years ago I walked out with two children and made us homeless because he wouldn't leave the house. :rolleyes:

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:03 pm

Oh Betty, the children know these things instinctively. It is good you explained it to them, and you will have a lovely weekend together. :-4

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:05 pm

Betty Boop;944112 wrote: And still the ex tries to use the children as pawns.

The day my Mum was admitted to hospital my ex rang me and gave me a sob story about not being able to afford to pay his mortgage and I should ring the CSA and tell them that I get paid direct from him. According to the ex if I do that my payments get cut by Â£10, he thinks I should take that cut so that he can afford to stay in his house and still have the children three weekends a month. In reality my benefits would be cut by Â£27. I've explained this to him but he's not heard me. I've just found a message on my answerphone saying that he will not be seeing the children again as I have failed to get the CSA off his back :rolleyes:

I'm about to text him to say 'Ok then'

Then the children and I are heading out for coffee and a chat as to exactly why they will not be seeing their Dad this weekend. I have smoothed things over and protected him for their sakes for far too long.

Make sure to save that message Betty...you might need it in court when he tries to say that you won't let him see the kids. Ex's can be really nasty...mine was.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:08 pm

Have just found another message on the landline, just incase I didn't fully understand the first one 'I am unable to see the children ever again, this weekend or any other weekend, I don't think you realise how serious this is and exactly what I am up against anyway give me a ring if there's a problem'

Yeah, like I'm going to ring him to hear a torrent of abuse, I don't think so.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Aug 07, 2008 2:13 pm

Unplug that phone, and do whatever you usually do.

My first husband is still living in my home that I bought, I never had the gumption to boot him out-thinking of what the kids would think and all. (house is in my name) That extra income tax refund we got-paid his back bills and rent he is still not paying me. My older kids live there, he works and all, but is never going to be a steady worker. The kids know this, it is just part of life. But I'm 2700 miles away from it, so the stress is not a concern much anymore. Never know what will happen in 8 years when I want to retire, and really ask him to leave. I want my house back there. I digressed on your thread, Betty, sorry. I understand guys like that-stick up to them! For all of us!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Aug 08, 2008 2:39 pm

chonsigirl;944592 wrote: Unplug that phone, and do whatever you usually do.

My first husband is still living in my home that I bought, I never had the gumption to boot him out-thinking of what the kids would think and all. (house is in my name) That extra income tax refund we got-paid his back bills and rent he is still not paying me. My older kids live there, he works and all, but is never going to be a steady worker. The kids know this, it is just part of life. But I'm 2700 miles away from it, so the stress is not a concern much anymore. Never know what will happen in 8 years when I want to retire, and really ask him to leave. I want my house back there. I digressed on your thread, Betty, sorry. I understand guys like that-stick up to them! For all of us!

I guess i thought that once he'd bought me out it would all settle down, he can't seriously hold me responsible three years later :rolleyes:

No worries about digressing Chonsi, I hope you can get him out for when you need it hun.

Children are here with me, not heard a word, was a bit concerned he might show up here looking for them so I made sure we were out :wah:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:16 pm

I've had to converse with him, he claims that its down to me whether he see's the children or not :wah:

He went on and on about how little money he has, hello dipstick I have no money either :rolleyes:

He also had the veiled threats lined up, if you don't do something then I won't be here for the children to see.

Whilst on the phone he didn't once ask to speak to them or even how they were :-5

He's back on ignore...

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 2:22 pm

Betty Boop;950440 wrote: I've had to converse with him, he claims that its down to me whether he see's the children or not :wah:

He went on and on about how little money he has, hello dipstick I have no money either :rolleyes:

He also had the veiled threats lined up, if you don't do something then I won't be here for the children to see.

Whilst on the phone he didn't once ask to speak to them or even how they were :-5

He's back on ignore...

Well done Betty, your strong and hes weak and pathetic:-6:-4

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:25 pm

Betty Boop;950440 wrote: I've had to converse with him, he claims that its down to me whether he see's the children or not :wah:

He went on and on about how little money he has, hello dipstick I have no money either :rolleyes:

He also had the veiled threats lined up, if you don't do something then I won't be here for the children to see.

Whilst on the phone he didn't once ask to speak to them or even how they were :-5

He's back on ignore...

He is nothing but a big :yh_loser!!:mad:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:02 am

The ex did have the children last weekend. There was a wedding on his side of the family and our little girl was a bridesmaid. In the run up to the weekend I made enquiries as to where the wedding was taking place and was all set to drive her there just so she could still be a bridesmaid. Luckily his brother and sis in law spoke to the ex and made sure the children were both able to go to the wedding - he tried to make out that because I had friends coming to stay I wasn't going to let the children go :rolleyes: like I'd let them miss a family wedding, and especially one where I know my girl gets to dress up and play a part!!

When they arrived back my sis in law gave me the bridesmaid dress and the waistcoat my son wore, boy the ex's face was like thunder :wah:. I made polite conversation with them all asked how the wedding went etc and then said to him I assume you'll let me know when you're having them again. He just went off on one, told me I'd not given him anything therefore he can't afford to have them, it appears he now wants me to pay him :-2. No contact since Tuesday, he's not even rung to see how the children are and he needn't think he's going to have them at a moments notice either.