advice needed

FuDgE · Post by **FuDgE** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:35 am

Hi everyone,

I need some advice, i have a beautiful 4 month old little girl but i am finding it really hard to cope, my partner works away so we only see him once a month, i got diagnosed with post natal depression and have been on tablets for 3months but nothing is helping. I am always stressed out and cry all the time, i have no family close to me i feel lke i am loosing the plot and i dont know how to bring back the happy smiling me, can anyone give me some advice please

xxx

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:41 am

Since you were diagnosed what was the Drs plan to attack this nasty thing ?

FuDgE · Post by **FuDgE** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:44 am

Nomad;999342 wrote: Since you were diagnosed what was the Drs plan to attack this nasty thing ?

My docs are rubbish they just keep changing my tablets and sending me home

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:51 am

Where do you live Fudge?

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:52 am

Contact your midwife, I presume since your baby is still so young that you are in contact with her... she will be the best person to advise you and tell her that your doctor is basically ignoring your cry for help.... she'll get you the help you need

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 5:59 am

Change doctors.

Theres local help, youre not alone.

Be pro active in climbing out of this.

Do something today even if its only acquiring a phone # and address.

Go on.............Ill wait.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:01 am

If you are in the UK then are there any Homestart volunteers around you. I assume you don't have visits from a Health Visitor anymore?

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:05 am

FuDgE;999344 wrote: My docs are rubbish they just keep changing my tablets and sending me home

Firstly can I say, you baby is absolutely gorgeous:-6

Like mentioned by Scouse I would firstly say contact you midwife, request a home visit and ask her advice.

Try to get as much rest as you can. Try to nap when the baby naps.

Dont put pressure on yourself to do everything. Do as much as you can and leave the rest! As you husband is away working, your unable to ask for help with household chores and nighttime feedings i'd suggest you don't try and do all the chores every day and just let some chores that don't need to be done daily slip a little till you feel more able to cope.

Make sure you get dressed and leave the house. Run an errand or take a short walk.

Talk with other mothers, so you can learn from their experiences.

Join a support group for women with depression. Call a local hotline or look in your telephone book for information and services. Sometimes being in contact with someone who feels exactly like you do can help, your not alone and their is help out there.

FuDgE · Post by **FuDgE** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:13 am

I have tryed to change my docs but not allowed as i already have one in the town i live.

I dont have a midwife anymore.

I have only seen my health visitor once since my daughter has been born, she said she will get in touch with someone that can help but i am still waiting and cannot contact her as she never answers, i have tried phoning a company called surestart which are in my local area but i am yet to see anyone.

I am at a dead end i always thought being a mum would be fantastic but now i feel trapped and useless, i have no self confidence

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:14 am

Don't you go anywhere to have your baby weighed?.... I'm sure you must see someone who monitors your babys progress?....

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:19 am

FuDgE;999363 wrote: I have tryed to change my docs but not allowed as i already have one in the town i live.

I dont have a midwife anymore.

I have only seen my health visitor once since my daughter has been born, she said she will get in touch with someone that can help but i am still waiting and cannot contact her as she never answers, i have tried phoning a company called surestart which are in my local area but i am yet to see anyone.

I am at a dead end i always thought being a mum would be fantastic but now i feel trapped and useless, i have no self confidence

Most mums feel that way, its not the way you envisaged, its not the perfect scenario you played in your head before the birth. Major factor here is your partner working away and so the baby and house is your responsibility 24/7. Your lacking adult conversation and feeling isolated. I joined a mother and toddler group when I had my first child, i'm still friends with those mums now, 10 years later. It helps you to get out and moan about the lack of sleep, the colour of her poo that day, the projectile vomit and sooo on. Talking to people really does help, since the health care professionals are lacking in acting on how badly your feeling, I would suggest you ask someone ( like NHS direct if your in UK) for numbers and contacts.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:28 am

FuDgE;999363 wrote: I have tryed to change my docs but not allowed as i already have one in the town i live.

I dont have a midwife anymore.

I have only seen my health visitor once since my daughter has been born, she said she will get in touch with someone that can help but i am still waiting and cannot contact her as she never answers, i have tried phoning a company called surestart which are in my local area but i am yet to see anyone.

I am at a dead end i always thought being a mum would be fantastic but now i feel trapped and useless, i have no self confidence

The Surestart people that you called, do they have a local centre? Try and get there if you can and they will know if there is a Homestart group in your area. Homestart will put you in contact with someone that can visit you once or twice a week, they are all volunteers.

Surestart should have their own health visitor who can help you, keep ringing and nagging them. They are over-stretched but they are there to help, they were set up to fill the gap where the doctors and midwives are failing in after care. Health visitors are also over stretched as they have suffered cutbacks thanks to our wonderful government.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 6:40 am

FuDgE;999363 wrote: I have tryed to change my docs but not allowed as i already have one in the town i live.

I dont have a midwife anymore.

I have only seen my health visitor once since my daughter has been born, she said she will get in touch with someone that can help but i am still waiting and cannot contact her as she never answers, i have tried phoning a company called surestart which are in my local area but i am yet to see anyone.

I am at a dead end i always thought being a mum would be fantastic but now i feel trapped and useless, i have no self confidence

Im empathetic but Im a bottom line kind of guy.

My inclination is to tell you to stop saying what you cant do and start doing what you can do.

Find your reserve strength and make something happen.

Dont make me come over there !

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 7:26 am

Nomad;999384 wrote: Im empathetic but Im a bottom line kind of guy.

My inclination is to tell you to stop saying what you cant do and start doing what you can do.

Find your reserve strength and make something happen.

Dont make me come over there !

Be afraid he has a Monadnock and he's not afraid to use it:D

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 10:38 am

First of all, realize that you are not alone. Reach out to neighbors, other young moms, the local clinic or church.

Being a new mom is a wonderful experience, but it can be a bit overwhelming at times. Do not expect perfection. You are not expected to be a super woman. Take care of your precious baby, but also take care of yourself. You also need rest, nutrician, and relaxation. You are important too.

Years ago, I was also a new young mom with a hubby whose job kept him away from home for periods of time. I was, also at the time, "alone" in foreign country away from my family. I do emphathize with ya, hon. Remember, this experience is temporary. Come here and post anytime. You have friends here.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 10:45 am

http://www.mama.co.uk/

http://www.pni.org.uk/

http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk/index.php?id=537

Just three sites dedicated to the support of sufferers of PND.

If your GP is part of a practice with more than one Doctor you can request to see another, ask for a referral to a counsellor - it really helped me. Persevere with the drugs sometimes it takes a while to find the right one. Maybe look into changing your diet - it helps some people.

Above all - talk to us! Lots of us have been there and it does get better - I promise!

ButterflyPrincess · Post by **ButterflyPrincess** » Sun Sep 28, 2008 11:05 am

Hey Hun. I found this link for you.. I hope it helps..

http://apni.org/

The Association for Post-Natal Illness is the leading organisation in its field, it is a Registered Charity (No. 280510) and it was established in 1979 to:

- Provide support to mothers suffering from post-natal illness

- Increase public awareness of the illness

- To encourage research into its cause and nature