Day Four (Progress Report- 60 points)

[strongirl56]

This is for yesterday. I called him at the bart station and he told me that he was about to leave soon because he was hungry so I told him that I would treat him out to lunch just so he could stay in school long enough to see me. I don't know whether that was a wise decision, it was worth it though. We got to sit down, we shared the same lunch and we spent some time together. I told him a little bit more about myself, and he told me a little bit more about himself. As it turns out he has depression, watching tv is depressing for him. He offended me because he asked me if it was my boyfriend who called me when he know damn well that I don't have a boyfriend. He told me that he really is a gangster outside of school and I don't know how to react to that. He told me that he was proud of me for applying for the masters program, that he could be more like me. One of my friends think that he is using me so that I could help him get better grades in school, is that true? He said he would be rather happy if he was me. Surprisingly he didn't **** me off this time, he just did things that really disappointed me. Is my relationship with him getting better, even if it is, is it too late? He asked someone for a cigarette so that he could smoke it while he was with me, he cussed in front of me, he walked off with another girl twice (once with his arms and her arms around each other's waist), he came back to look for me after he decided to so rudely walk off with another girl, called some girl "pretty lady" while he was with me. He said that I shouldn't be dating while I'm still in college, that he doesn't want my heart to get broken again. Then why did he ask me to give him another chance to make it work? To make what work? He's so confusing. He told me that he doesn't trip over other girls, he's just being friendly to them and stuff, it's nice to hear to hear that he's not looking for a girlfriend right now, who happens to be somebody else other than me. He complimented me and said that I looked cute and happy. He gave me some advice, that I should do whatever it is that makes me happy and not care about what other people say. I really want to follow his advice but its hard. I've always care about what other people thinks and say to me. Yes on the one hand I am happy when I'm with him on the other I'm sick and tired of people telling me that "me and him will never be, that giving him another chance is just setting myself up to get hurt again". Maybe I should wait for him to call me and ask me if I want to hang out with him instead of the other way around. Is there ever going to be a me and him? I told him to call me tomorrow before we left.

There's five guys on the sidelines that are pissing me off as well. One goes to the same college as me, and hes supposed to like me, but hes hesitant to see me. Another doesn't have time to chat with me and I can't really talk on the phone anymore. Another is my ex because he wants me to choose between being friends with African Americans or him. Two others just stopped talking to me altogether. *Sigh* Guy troubles. Guys.

I wonder what is going to happen today and how my progress report is going to turn out.