A work in progress

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Mon Oct 06, 2008 6:51 am

It's been several days since I last had contact with him, so far everything has been fine. I would think about him every so often but other than that, I haven't called him or seen him in school. There's has been a lot on my mind lately and there has been a lot of stuff that I need to get done, and that really helped me out. I know that me and him will always stay friends its just this is whats best for me right now, maybe one day i'll talk to him again i mean who knows right? I've also become aware in the last few days that I have other friends who could make me happy and who could also be there for me. There's been some family issues at home as well as stress from school. I really hate it when I would get into arguments with my mom about things that little things that she cares about that I don't. I know that she's stressed out too but that does not give her the right to yell at me, I have stress too. I work, I do volunteer work and I have five classes. I'm helping her support our family knowing that my dad is currently not working and we're in the middle of a financial crisis. What more can you ask from me? She doesn't know how to let me live my life the way I want; I just want to spend some time watching television, to relieve some of my stress before I do homework, is that so much to ask for? I never said I wanted to drop out of college and sit there to watch tv all my life so why is she making such a big deal out of this? She can yell at my dad all she wants cuz he can handle her temper but I can't. I've being on an emotional roller coaster lately feeling a sense of loneliness, sadness, happiness, frustration, confusion, worry, stress all at the same time. It's not something that's easy to deal with. So far, I can't do what I want in school because my schedule is just so damn full, I can't do something without giving up some of my time doing something else. I mean there's only 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, and a deadline to do everything in. Life right now is pretty much a struggle for me; a juggling act, one that I feel will fail at any time. There's just too much happening at the same time, I can't drop any part of that juggling act either because of the high expectations my parents have set for me.

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Mon Oct 06, 2008 6:53 am

It's been several days since I last had contact with him, so far everything has been fine. I would think about him every so often but other than that, I haven't called him or seen him in school. There's has been a lot on my mind lately and there has been a lot of stuff that I need to get done, and that really helped me out. I know that me and him will always stay friends its just this is whats best for me right now, maybe one day i'll talk to him again i mean who knows right? I've also become aware in the last few days that I have other friends who could make me happy and who could also be there for me. There's been some family issues at home as well as stress from school. I really hate it when I would get into arguments with my mom about things that little things that she cares about that I don't. I know that she's stressed out too but that does not give her the right to yell at me, I have stress too. I work, I do volunteer work and I have five classes. I'm helping her support our family knowing that my dad is currently not working and we're in the middle of a financial crisis. What more can you ask from me? She doesn't know how to let me live my life the way I want; I just want to spend some time watching television, to relieve some of my stress before I do homework, is that so much to ask for? I never said I wanted to drop out of college and sit there to watch tv all my life so why is she making such a big deal out of this? She can yell at my dad all she wants cuz he can handle her temper but I can't. I've being on an emotional roller coaster lately feeling a sense of loneliness, sadness, happiness, frustration, confusion, worry, stress all at the same time. It's not something that's easy to deal with. So far, I can't do what I want in school because my schedule is just so damn full, I can't do something without giving up some of my time doing something else. I mean there's only 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, and a deadline to do everything in. Life right now is pretty much a struggle for me; a juggling act, one that I feel will fail at any time. There's just too much happening at the same time, I can't drop any part of that juggling act either because of the high expectations my parents have set for me. Sometimes I wonder will having a boyfriend help or worsen the conditions that I'm dealing with right now.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:20 pm

Work in progress - and who nows right?? that's right

If/when your Mother's voice raises - calmly tone your voice down -

perhaps state, could we talk about this when we're both calm? or can we calmly talk about this.

Your Mother has a point to make - perhaps it's difficult for her to express her point clearly.

then you buckle up - and start walking away - her voice will raise & argument on..

Instead - you could tell her that you don't understand her point - or she doesn't understand yours.?

Your ready to take a hike - and your Mother follows you to make her point.

Am I close to the scenario?

Sounds like your having a communication barrier on alot of levels..?

Patsy

strongirl56 · Post by **strongirl56** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 6:51 am

Its more complicated than that Patsy. My mom's a perfectionist and she wants things done either her way or the high way. And she makes sure that we do things her way by nagging and nagging and nagging I just couldn't take that attitude of hers on top of everything else that I'm dealing with. The "let's talk about this when we're both calm" method won't work either, because I stick to my way of doing things and she's determined that I should do something her way or not getting it done at all.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Tue Oct 07, 2008 7:50 pm

Have you ever told your Mom how you feel.?

That your relationship on & off adds stress. Yelling is too stressful etc..

Could you compromise?

Don't under estimate your Mom - I think she'd appreciate a nice talk with her daughter.

Mom's get stressed just knowing they're losing control & it's difficult to release .

Mom's & Daughter's go thru rough patches at different stages - by the end of everyday,,

Your Mother & Father love you - and I know you Love them.

that is the bottom line.

So, make each day as pleasant as possible.

Patsy