should I have another child?

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:39 pm

Get a puppy:D;)

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:39 pm

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

you can borrow meline for a week :sneaky:

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:46 pm

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

Is it because you are turning 40 do you think

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:46 pm

fuzzy butt;1042102 wrote: It wouldn't be the same Kay . Oh you guys know what I mean ............That maternal pull thing. It's driving me nuts . My head is all over the place at the moment and I really don't need this hormonal feeling.
You could always have one of me dolls:D or even two if you fancy twins;)

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:49 pm

i went through the same thing when i was 36....what did i do....had another one...its been a struggle but it was the best thing i ever did:-4

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:52 pm

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away? well being a child of older parents. it was good in someways. they were settled and ready to be parents. But i felt different for some reason.

It is hard to explain. But i am not making light of you wanting a baby. At 50. i got a puppy. Yes i spoiled her rotten. But she is just what i needed.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:55 pm

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

Take a hot bath---------from all your prior postings that I have read I would not at all encourage you to have another child. That might take care of a need that you have, but would not take care of a need another child would have.

neil · Post by **neil** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:59 pm

Lon;1042127 wrote: Take a hot bath---------from all your prior postings that I have read I would not at all encourage you to have another child. That might take care of a need that you have, but would not take care of a need another child would have.

Yeah good one Lon, that will solve the problem:-5

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:01 pm

i dont think any man can understand the clucky feeling a woman may get when she reaches her 40's

QUINNSCOMMENTARY · Post by **QUINNSCOMMENTARY** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:10 pm

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

Work in a day care center for a month while you cool off.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:13 pm

QUINNSCOMMENTARY;1042154 wrote: Work in a day care center for a month while you cool off.

or start fostering....we really need more carers

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:13 pm

You can look and it from a medical stand point in that a women your age may have problems and the risks are higher for Down Syndrome or many other birth issue for a baby at your age.

The raging hormones will pass and your biological clock is close to stopping that ticking.

Time to put yourself first for a bit. You have wonderful children keep nurturing and caring for them that is just as important.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:16 pm

kayleneaussie;1042138 wrote: i dont think any man can understand the clucky feeling a woman may get when she reaches her 40's

That's no doubt true, but I do understand the needs of a child, and who is the most important one to consider? The needs of the mother or the child?

neil · Post by **neil** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:20 pm

Lon;1042167 wrote: That's no doubt true, but I do understand the needs of a child, and who is the most important one to consider? The needs of the mother or the child?

I would say both as the mother is the prime caregiver in a childs formative years. They still have needs whatever they are, and they human like all of us.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:22 pm

Lon;1042167 wrote: That's no doubt true, but I do understand the needs of a child, and who is the most important one to consider? The needs of the mother or the child?

I am not saying have a child just because your feeling clucky....sorry if it came across that way as that would be totally wrong. I had 3 grown up children then when i turned 36 had another but a lot of thought went into it. Of course the needs of the child come first and my son turns 21 soon and i have enjoyed every second of him and he has turned out to be a beaut young man:-4

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:33 pm

neil;1042173 wrote: I would say both as the mother is the prime caregiver in a childs formative years. They still have needs whatever they are, and they human like all of us.

I am thinking of a situation very close to home where the mother only was thinking of her need to have another child and frankly would have been better for the child to be put up for adoption due to the atmosphere into which the new child arrived, and that atmosphere was known in advance.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:33 pm

its always good to talk these things out fuzz:-4:-4

Milly · Post by **Milly** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:34 pm

Blimey!... that's the quickest case of broodyness I've ever seen!!... :wah::wah::wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:36 pm

QUINNSCOMMENTARY;1042154 wrote: Work in a day care center for a month while you cool off. yes, how did you know?? I did for 25 years. maybe that is why i only had one child. But on the other hand. if she could work in one well managed. with small classes. then day care. is a wonderful place for anyone to show their love.:-4

Tan · Post by **Tan** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:37 pm

If you have the support, :yh_winkI say give er

neil · Post by **neil** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:45 pm

fuzzy butt;1042215 wrote: OMG i'm transferring. Psychologically, based on past experiences My mind is pregnant.............That what the fear basis is. i'm remembering the fear and the up and coming birth on my own. OMG!!!! I'm psychologically preparing myself to what my brain is telling me is normal ............:-5

Is your name Freud or Jung? :wah::D

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:46 pm

Just go borrow a nice baby or toddler for the afternoon, to relive those precious times. You will be so tired afterwards, all those thoughts of having another one will go away!

If you really want a baby at your age, just weigh the pros and cons for yourself. It is a harder pregnancy, but if having a child is what you want, do it. Or adopt one, there are so many who need good homes.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:47 pm

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

read the terrible two's book!:wah:

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:59 pm

Odie;1042222 wrote: read the terrible two's book!:wah: i was a 2 year old teacher for 8 years:-5:-5:wah:

neil · Post by **neil** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:01 pm

southern yankee;1042251 wrote: i was a 2 year old teacher for 8 years:-5:-5:wah:

Did it really take you 8 years to reach 3 Sth Yankee?

:wah::wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sat Nov 01, 2008 9:15 pm

southern yankee;1042251 wrote: i was a 2 year old teacher for 8 years:-5:-5:wah:

you were 2 years old and teaching?:wah:

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 5:39 am

I only had the one child, the minute I was out of hospital with her I wanted to be pregnant again.

The birth and the couple of weeks after were horrible, she was early I was ill etc and I desparately wanted another go, to 'get it right' this time, I wanted people to see me with a huge baby bump instead of some people not knowing I was even expecting. Once I got my head sorted out I could rationally think about another child and realise that the timing wasn't right, I had two step-daughters, a new baby, a business to help run with one employee dying of a brain tumour - none of these things would have made having another baby easy. As time went on and I got older, my husband got older and my health deteriorated we decided no more children.

Four years ago I had a hysterectomy - no more options of children. But has the broody feeling gone? - no, even though I know I can't have another child I still ache to be pregnant and hold another baby in my arms. I don't think that feeling will ever go, but I don't feel sad about it, for me it shows how much love I still have to give to more children. Those children will be my grandchildren, I have one who I completely and utterly adore.

My long-winded point is, I think, that deep down you know another child is not a good idea but enjoy the broodiness, enjoy going gooey over babies, look to the future and it is a good one, hopefully filled with grandchildren to love and spoil rotten.

BTW 40 is a good age to be!

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 10:55 am

Imladris;1042882 wrote: I only had the one child, the minute I was out of hospital with her I wanted to be pregnant again.

The birth and the couple of weeks after were horrible, she was early I was ill etc and I desparately wanted another go, to 'get it right' this time, I wanted people to see me with a huge baby bump instead of some people not knowing I was even expecting. Once I got my head sorted out I could rationally think about another child and realise that the timing wasn't right, I had two step-daughters, a new baby, a business to help run with one employee dying of a brain tumour - none of these things would have made having another baby easy. As time went on and I got older, my husband got older and my health deteriorated we decided no more children.

Four years ago I had a hysterectomy - no more options of children. But has the broody feeling gone? - no, even though I know I can't have another child I still ache to be pregnant and hold another baby in my arms. I don't think that feeling will ever go, but I don't feel sad about it, for me it shows how much love I still have to give to more children. Those children will be my grandchildren, I have one who I completely and utterly adore.

My long-winded point is, I think, that deep down you know another child is not a good idea but enjoy the broodiness, enjoy going gooey over babies, look to the future and it is a good one, hopefully filled with grandchildren to love and spoil rotten.

BTW 40 is a good age to be!

Nice post Imms:-4

koan · Post by **koan** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 11:08 am

If you are enjoying a new freedom of being able to make decisions on your own and for yourself then... don't have a kid!!

Whenever I've considered it, I remind myself that all freedom is gone for at least 12 years, more like 18. You live and breathe only for your kids and base all decisions on what is best for them to the sacrifice of your own needs. If you like your new freedom then remember that you'd be giving it up again if you start with an infant all over.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 2:00 pm

neil;1042257 wrote: Did it really take you 8 years to reach 3 Sth Yankee?

:wah::wah: no that is when i QUIT. TOO old to keep up with the LITTLE DARLINGS:wah::wah:

Mia · Post by **Mia** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:08 pm

I had two sons and would have loved a daughter but was in an abusive marriage so stopped then and had the op. I remarried seven years later and my new hubby was a wonderful dad to my sons, As it turns out,I now have a lovely daughter in law, a lovely grandaughter and another potential lovely daughter in law. Yes we all get broody but we have to be practical as well.Have you thought of how you could deal with a teenager in your fifties? Someone her said get a puppy.I think they are right.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:33 pm

fuzzy butt;1043311 wrote: No it's alright guys I figured out what was going on in my head and I'm happy withthe outcome .............Thanks for your advice though I hope it will help others in the same situation as you have all described.

You lot are such darlings.:-4:-4:-4 sure anytime. 40 is a turning point in a women's life;)

minks · Post by **minks** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:45 pm

fuzzy butt;1042140 wrote: yeah I know what you mean lon I'm very conscious of my needs right now (scares the hell out of me to be honest)

I just told a friend how i was feeling and I think it's all to do with having freedom to make decisions on my own I havent' been allowed to do that for half my life.

suddenly I get to decide what I want to do with my life and it's kind of overwhelming. could be that I'm turning forty ............or maybe it's the freedom to choose again? aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh I don't know

I'd prefer not to have the feeling in the first place.:-5

Think long and hard about this Fuzz, do you want a little 100% dependant in your life right now when you have all this freedom? Every time you want to go someplace you always have to consider 2 things, take this child with me along with all their "things" or get a babysitter and spend money just so you get a little "free time"

In my opinion Fuzz I say NO. I am 47, have had my freedom for almost 6 years and can't ever imagine bringing a baby into my life at this time. I have my girls and my grandson, son in law and new grand baby to be Maybe my situation is different from yours.

Remember a baby is for life... all through the stages of their life.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Sun Nov 02, 2008 7:28 pm

well here i am at 41 years old with a 2 year old, but it couldn't be helped as we had infertility problems and it took us 13 years of trying to have him!

but i'm loving every minute of it, i may be a little older to be chasing after a toddler but i'm managing it!

but something funny happened the other day!

we were at the warehouse selling tobacco, i had jacob up on the platform with me where they grade the tobacco and decide what they are gonna pay for it.

one of the girls there asks me, can SHE has some candy? i asked HER and SHE said yes but i said i'll have to ask GRANDMA!!! :wah::wah::wah:

he's always gettin mistaken for a girl thats nothing new, and i have been called grandma before but not both in the same day! :wah:

i mean i have friends who are grandparents already, they had children really young, i understand that, but it still takes me back a bit! :wah::wah:

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:42 am

fuzzy butt;1043311 wrote: No it's alright guys I figured out what was going on in my head and I'm happy withthe outcome .............Thanks for your advice though I hope it will help others in the same situation as you have all described.

You lot are such darlings.:-4:-4:-4

Way to go fuzz, I'm glad you figured it out. Before you know it, you'll have grandbabies to hold and love. You'll get to spoil them, fill them with sugar, then send them home! :wah::wah:

At 44 I wouldn't dream of having another kid. I have 2 grown daughters out of the house and a 16yr old that will be leaving in a couple years to go off to college. I have 2 grandsons and another on the way. Grandkids aren't much trouble either...that's what they have mom and dad for. :sneaky::wah:

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 2:34 am

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

The grandchildren will come.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:00 am

fuzzy butt;1042091 wrote: I must be going daft ..................in the last two years I've been the cluckiest hen in the coop. I've always been a clucky one, I love children but I'm turning forty and running out of time .....to even have a choice. and I am sooooo not in a position at the moment to have one ...........................How do you make the feeling go away?

I had my last one at age 35 and had a 5, 6 & 11 yr olds. I'm glad I had him as he is a joy. It's not for everybody. I still get urges to have another one, but not at my age now. Good luck FB. I don't really think the urge ever leaves a woman's body to have another one.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:21 am

fuzzy butt;1043673 wrote: thanks nommie but that's not my point..............there were other reasons why I was thinking this way.

But if I was to have a child now I'd love it !!! pure and simple . I was an auntie at 9 years my little brother an uncle at six. (just the distribution of ages with kids in the family) . It wouldn't worry me in the least if I got pregnant now ......my major concern was the wrong reasoning of it ......it actually had nothing to do with wanting to be pregnant , there were other factors at bay here.

anyway the way my family works it wouldn't be anything unusual:)

You should meet my family it's a plefora of different races and cultures and ages

I guess i'm lucky . If i was to drop off the twig tommorow my children would be well taken care of. Just the kind of family I have. We all don't always agree but my children would be taken care of .

If everyones in agreement then do what makes you happy. Go have sex.

qsducks · Post by **qsducks** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 11:39 am

Nomad;1044132 wrote: If everyones in agreement then do what makes you happy. Go have sex.

Without the consequences. Yeah, I'm happy with four of them.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Mon Nov 03, 2008 4:00 pm

fuzzy butt;1044274 wrote: Ummm yeah about that? there always has to be logistical problems:-5:wah:

No man!!!!!

dammit my plans are foiled again:wah::wah::wah:

You want another reason?

My wife was forty when we had the youngest - she started labour on Tuesday and the birth was Friday evening :-6