Advice Please??

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:50 am

Last night my daughter dropped by to e mail some job application. Well anyway my husband began to discuss with her. Why didn't she move in with us. (she is 26) I kept my mouth Shut

and just listened. I am thinking"OMG!!" Don't get me wrong i Love them both. BUT they are not the easiest people to live with. They both have their Demons.:sneaky: I feel like CHICKEN LITTLE. I know i need help around the house and the yard. But i know my daughter. and my husband. How can i view my opinions without starting a MAJOR WAR?????

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 4:59 am

southern yankee;1047554 wrote: Last night my daughter dropped by to e mail some job application. Well anyway my husband began to discuss with her. Why didn't she move in with us. (she is 26) I kept my mouth Shut

and just listened. I am thinking"OMG!!" Don't get me wrong i Love them both. BUT they are not the easiest people to live with. They both have their Demons.:sneaky: I feel like CHICKEN LITTLE. I know i need help around the house and the yard. But i know my daughter. and my husband. How can i view my opinions without starting a MAJOR WAR?????

This is so hard isn't it??

I want to help as you gave me some food for thought the other day about my problem nephew.

Does your husband and daughter argue?

Do you and your daughter argue?

Is your daughter very independent and would she like being the 'guest' ?

Are you likely to fall out with either your husband or daughter if she stays too long??

Will your routine be disturbed??

Will you find yourself having to take sides??

If you can give us a clue on those questions, i may be able to offer my humble opinion.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:02 am

Squeeze his balls until his eyes bleed.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:06 am

oscar;1047558 wrote: This is so hard isn't it??

I want to help as you gave me some food for thought the other day about my problem nephew.

Does your husband and daughter argue?

Do you and your daughter argue?

Is your daughter very independent and would she like being the 'guest' ?

Are you likely to fall out with either your husband or daughter if she stays too long??

Will your routine be disturbed??

Will you find yourself having to take sides??

If you can give us a clue on those questions, i may be able to offer my humble opinion.
Ohhh dear you are reading my mind. They blow up. Bad at times. Both are VERY out spoken.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:07 am

Nomad;1047561 wrote: Squeeze his balls until his eyes bleed. sounds like a plan:wah:

QUINNSCOMMENTARY · Post by **QUINNSCOMMENTARY** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 5:56 am

Every summer my whole family, four kids, their spouses, four grandchildren and a 100lb dog share a vacation home for two weeks.

It's fun, it's hectic, I wouldn't miss it, I miss them when they are gone....but

Just say no!

You run the very real risk of alienating your daughter on a permanent basis if they live with you.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 6:02 am

QUINNSCOMMENTARY;1047590 wrote: Every summer my whole family, four kids, their spouses, four grandchildren and a 100lb dog share a vacation home for two weeks.

It's fun, it's hectic, I wouldn't miss it, I miss them when they are gone....but

Just say no!

You run the very real risk of alienating your daughter on a permanent basis if they live with you.
wish it was that simple:-3

Kindle · Post by **Kindle** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:50 am

southern yankee;1047554 wrote: Last night my daughter dropped by to e mail some job application. Well anyway my husband began to discuss with her. Why didn't she move in with us. (she is 26) I kept my mouth Shut

and just listened. I am thinking"OMG!!" Don't get me wrong i Love them both. BUT they are not the easiest people to live with. They both have their Demons.:sneaky: I feel like CHICKEN LITTLE. I know i need help around the house and the yard. But i know my daughter. and my husband. How can i view my opinions without starting a MAJOR WAR?????

What is the reason your husband made this offer? (Does your daughter need some financial help? Or, does your daughter need to come back within the fold of the family to straighten out her life?)

Based on what the reason is, you should be able to determine if your child's life, and your relationship with her, will be the better for this move, or not.

It is never easy, even in the best of relationships, to have children return home. Sometimes, however, we just need to bite the bullet cause it is the right thing to do.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:53 am

Kindle;1047770 wrote: What is the reason your husband made this offer? (Does your daughter need some financial help? Or, does your daughter need to come back within the fold of the family to straighten out her life?)

Based on what the reason is, you should be able to determine if your child's life, and your relationship with her, will be the better for this move, or not.

It is never easy, even in the best of relationships, to have children return home. Sometimes, however, we just need to bite the bullet cause it is the right thing to do. i am afraid if i bite the bullet. it will blow my head off

Kindle · Post by **Kindle** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 7:57 am

southern yankee;1047776 wrote: i am afraid if i bite the bullet. it will blow my head off

I feel your pain. Life isn't easy.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:02 am

Kindle;1047786 wrote: I feel your pain. Life isn't easy.
To tell you the truth. I think it would be like tying 2 cats tails together over a cloths line:-5

Kindle · Post by **Kindle** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:13 am

southern yankee;1047796 wrote: To tell you the truth. I think it would be like tying 2 cats tails together over a cloths line:-5

Yikes! Is your husband looking for more drama in his life?

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:45 am

Kindle;1047808 wrote: Yikes! Is your husband looking for more drama in his life? I think it is that he has a Terrible relationship with his own daughter. That he is trying to make up for it, with mine. Long story. But this will not be a pretty sight:(

Kindle · Post by **Kindle** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:55 am

southern yankee;1047853 wrote: I think it is that he has a Terrible relationship with his own daughter. That he is trying to make up for it, with mine. Long story. But this will not be a pretty sight:(

Enough said. Trying to figure out everyone's personal agenda is difficult -- and we don't always get it right.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 8:57 am

Kindle;1047862 wrote: Enough said. Trying to figure out everyone's personal agenda is difficult -- and we don't always get it right. Maybe you are right

scholle-kid · Post by **scholle-kid** » Thu Nov 06, 2008 11:54 pm

southern yankee;1047796 wrote: To tell you the truth. I think it would be like tying 2 cats tails together over a cloths line:-5

There, you just answerd your own question. Just make sure the knot is tight and the clothes pins are set ,the motor running as you head off to walmart,,or somewhere,,

your husband and daughter sound just like my daughter and her dad use to be.

maybe just say loud and clearly " I love you both" I'm going shopping. ...it worked once or twice for me.

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 4:19 am

scholle-kid;1048589 wrote: There, you just answerd your own question. Just make sure the knot is tight and the clothes pins are set ,the motor running as you head off to walmart,,or somewhere,,

your husband and daughter sound just like my daughter and her dad use to be.

maybe just say loud and clearly " I love you both" I'm going shopping. ...it worked once or twice for me.
thanks dear.

sounds like good advice. Or maybe every so often i will run away from home:wah::wah:

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 6:17 am

southern yankee;1047554 wrote: Last night my daughter dropped by to e mail some job application. Well anyway my husband began to discuss with her. Why didn't she move in with us. (she is 26) I kept my mouth Shut

and just listened. I am thinking"OMG!!" Don't get me wrong i Love them both. BUT they are not the easiest people to live with. They both have their Demons.:sneaky: I feel like CHICKEN LITTLE. I know i need help around the house and the yard. But i know my daughter. and my husband. How can i view my opinions without starting a MAJOR WAR?????

just now read this, first off does she want to move back in?

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 10:24 am

Odie;1048756 wrote: just now read this, first off does she want to move back in? yes, she has had$$$,men, and bad choice of friend problems. she moved out at 17. I think she wants or needs to come home. That is well and fine. She is my child. It is the fireworks between the 2 of them i fear. They might not be related by blood. But those 2 are SOOOO a like. Get my drift??

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:27 pm

southern yankee;1049164 wrote: yes, she has had$$$,men, and bad choice of friend problems. she moved out at 17. I think she wants or needs to come home. That is well and fine. She is my child. It is the fireworks between the 2 of them i fear. They might not be related by blood. But those 2 are SOOOO a like. Get my drift??

can you put her in the basement?

not being smart, wondered if you had a finished recroom

least that way he and she won't be living on the main floor, perhaps make an apartment downstairs for her?

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Fri Nov 07, 2008 5:46 pm

Odie;1049851 wrote: can you put her in the basement?

not being smart, wondered if you had a finished recroom

least that way he and she won't be living on the main floor, perhaps make an apartment downstairs for her?
Oh Odie this is La. we are below sea level. No basements until you go about 200 miles north. But good thought, I do have a wood shed:wah: Maybe i will put both of them in there:sneaky: My daughter can hardly wait:-2

southern yankee · Post by **southern yankee** » Wed Nov 12, 2008 6:37 am

Well i will go with the flow and PRAY for peace. I love them both. I know they both love me. I will keep you all posted. Last night. My daughter and I talked. She told me. It will be good. She won't let me down. I will try harder not think like CHICKEN LITTLE