need someone elses point of view

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:00 pm

Hi everyone,

I am new to this forum and i really need to see this through someone elses eyes so here goes my question.

Recently i started volunteering in a law firm , i am in school for a legal assistant, now there is this one lawyer and well it goes from there...i go in only once a week as that is the day i have no classes...i noticed him on my first day, i was getting some files from the box under my desk ( i was sitting in my chair) , got the file and as i was lifting my head up to put the file on the desk i looked towards the door and i saw him , he was walking towards where my cubicle is and we just looked at each other, that made me weak in my knees , so later that day he passed by my cubicle numerous times, his assistant works 3 cubes down from me so when he is talking to her he has direct look at my cube so he goes to her million times a day( she is an old lady) and i can feel that he is looking, ( i am totaly shy and i am afraid to make another eye contact with him so i try to ignore him).He used to come to work around 11 am or noon and this time he came to work at 8: 30 same time i start. He walks by my cube many times in the day, keeps looking at me, if i go to lunch he comes to the cafeteria etc.

Around the time that i need to go he becomes very hyper and starts walking around again, then going around behind my desk or in front of my cube.

He saw me put my coat on and he left in his office, as i was going towards the door i had to pass by his office and he came out the door and we almost bumped into each other, we looked at each other and he said ( i am sorry) i said thats ok and i left.

I am 32 and he is in his 30 as well maybe mid to late 30's id say. We never said a word to one another other then that in alomost bumped part.

Is he trying something here or i am getting it all wrong.

What does it look like to all of you?

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:11 pm

Hi Stella, welcome to Forum Garden !

Well all I can say is that it seems that the guy likes the look of you, but be careful. I suggest you ask around, maybe you have made some friends there or at least some that you chat to. Find out something about him, particularly if he's married, see what others think of the guy. Maybe he's the sort who does that sort of thing to any new girl who arrives on the scene. Maybe he is just shy, himself, and not sure how to approach you. I don't know what to suggest, except try to find important things out about him first, before you do anything else. Good luck Stella !

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:20 pm

Ty for your reply Gill, you know i have to agree with you, my first thought was is he doing this with other girls when they join, but i have to admit there are 2 other younger girls in the same side of the floor... rest of them are older and he only seems to be walking around my cube. I am afraid to ask any questions about him, i did make friends at job but i dont know if i can trust them since they have been with company for a long time, they may spill it out just to kiss up however i do have trust issues, and i dont wanna mess up at this because they are very large firm with a good reputation.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:40 pm

Stella

He's definately flirting with you. and you both are attracted to eachother..?

Since your the "New Girl" on Campus, be cautious as G-Gill mentioned, and ingurie around to some you can confid in with creating gossip or trouble.

My honest gut feeling tells me: or just a scenario..?

He has a Significant Other - he's not faithful - your his next target.

The reason why I feel this is - he's going toooooo far out of his way to be noticed. Dig Me Yet..?:wah:

Most Young men - Gentlemen by now would approach with some conversation.

kinda weird to me - those kind of guys I avoid

No - I don't Dig Ya

Patsy

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 7:57 pm

yes i am definitely attracted to him, i do think about him alot and i really look forward to the day i go there..however i am being cautious as he is partner of the firm . If he is single with no wife or GF i wouldnt mind hooking up with him, however even if he has a GF i would definitely back off, i am not the type of person to break other ppl's relationships.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:10 pm

Stella

My point here is - it's been sometime now where he should be comfortable enough to approach you with small talk. Certainly a man in a Partner Postion.

instead he's on a POGO Stick trying to keep track of you.

which is exactly why I feel he has a significant other.

it's like being on a leash & can or Should only look & don't touch, he POGO's..:wah

I don't like a Guy who goes out of his way to be noticed & noticed & noticed.

just talk Dude.

This Guy will always be a flirt - no female will be able to control his Leash.

Waste of time Guy

Patsy

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:28 pm

Patsy Warnick;1148161 wrote: Stella

My point here is - it's been sometime now where he should be comfortable enough to approach you with small talk. Certainly a man in a Partner Postion.

instead he's on a POGO Stick trying to keep track of you.

which is exactly why I feel he has a significant other.

it's like being on a leash & can or Should only look & don't touch, he POGO's..:wah

I don't like a Guy who goes out of his way to be noticed & noticed & noticed.

just talk Dude.

This Guy will always be a flirt - no female will be able to control his Leash.

Waste of time Guy

Patsy

Patsy makes sense, thats so true, on a pogo stick, I like that term.

Welcome to the garden Stella.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:36 pm

The tension is too high. The passing by and not speaking has gone too far. Its become akward for him now. You need to make it easy for him to approach you. Just say hi and do that smile that girls do that makes our hearts flip upside down.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:39 pm

No No No

Don't listen to Nomad...

You do not make it easy on him...

akward ??? he's on a Pogo Stick .. they already did the Bambi Smile & eye flutter.

no no no

Patsy

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:45 pm

Patsy Warnick;1148171 wrote: No No No

Don't listen to Nomad...

You do not make it easy on him...

akward ??? he's on a Pogo Stick .. they already did the Bambi Smile & eye flutter.

no no no

Patsy

Oh.

Im not a smooth operator.

I thought she said she couldnt make eye contact.

Maybe hes trying to find out if she knows hes alive.

Maybe cleavage is the way to go.

You can never go wrong with cleavage.

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:48 pm

well as i stated i am very shy i could never aproach guy first, and if i could i dont know if i would, i am not desparate for a guy if we wants to take it a step further with me hes got to work for it, just because he is a lawyer doesnt make him any better in my eyes than if he was a courier guy, i treat everyone with the same respect.

The only other thing i can think of could be harrasment free enviroment that we have at the firm... he may be afraid how i would take it if he made move or something... I am definitely not flirty person, i dont throw myself out at other people, i dont yearn for attention and i am very quiet person, keeping very low profile..i dress professionaly and so on.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:50 pm

stella;1148178 wrote: well as i stated i am very shy i could never aproach guy first, and if i could i dont know if i would, i am not desparate for a guy if we wants to take it a step further with me hes got to work for it, just because he is a lawyer doesnt make him any better in my eyes than if he was a courier guy, i treat everyone with the same respect.

The only other thing i can think of could be harrasment free enviroment that we have at the firm... he may be afraid how i would take it if he made move or something... I am definitely not flirty person, i dont throw myself out at other people, i dont yearn for attention and i am very quiet person, keeping very low profile..i dress professionaly and so on.

What does work for it mean :-3

Why cant 2 people just jump in without having to work for it ?

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:55 pm

Nomad;1148177 wrote: Oh.

Im not a smooth operator.

I thought she said she couldnt make eye contact.

Maybe hes trying to find out if she knows hes alive.

Maybe cleavage is the way to go.

You can never go wrong with cleavage.

We made 2 eye contacts in all of the time i was there, i am afraid to look him in the eyes because i will start to blush and boom ! that may give me away

No cleavage , i like to dress nice and decent dont like to strut my stuff out lol.

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:57 pm

Nomad;1148180 wrote: What does work for it mean :-3

Why cant 2 people just jump in without having to work for it ?

lol typical of a guy... i dont want to have one night stand , now thats the type that needs no work, i meant that if he likes me and wants to make a move to work on it and show me that he is interested beyond just getting in my pants

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 8:59 pm

Stella

This is Nomad

Nomad this is Stella - good to meet 'cha..

serious - do not approach & make the "approach" easy.

If you want a certain standard - you have to keep yours.

I'm far from a prude - I lean more towards Woodstock

I will & do expect & want .

It's like a questionaire ( which I had for dating), I didn't want alot of baggage.

I forgot a square for MIL's......:yh_rotfl

Now - if you don't yearn for attention - can you see where this Guy goes out of his way for attention? Don't you find that strange ? it's like Sign Language..?

Keep your standards Stella

Patsy

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:07 pm

Patsy Warnick;1148183 wrote: Stella

This is Nomad

Nomad this is Stella - good to meet 'cha..

serious - do not approach & make the "approach" easy.

If you want a certain standard - you have to keep yours.

I'm far from a prude - I lean more towards Woodstock

I will & do expect & want .

It's like a questionaire ( which I had for dating), I didn't want alot of baggage.

I forgot a square for MIL's......:yh_rotfl

Now - if you don't yearn for attention - can you see where this Guy goes out of his way for attention? Don't you find that strange ? it's like Sign Language..?

Keep your standards Stella

Patsy

Hi Nomad, nice to meet you hehe

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:13 pm

Stella

I also have to tell you I really hesitated to read more past:

your on the floor getting a file from under your desk........?

I also retrieved work from under my desk - my boss was there as I needed to stand up....!!! mmmmmm I didn't marry that one though ......:yh_rotfl

I can so live this - been there..

Just be a nice co-worker / volunteer / assist. smile & be cordial to all.

Please up date me on Mr. Pogo.

Nomad - the only time for cleavage action, if it releases you from a traffic ticket.

and then he wanted my Fake phone # for a date ...:wah:

Patsy

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:20 pm

Thanks Patsy you are really sweet, and yes i will defintiely keep you all updated.

Yes i am nice to all i come in contact with, and i am there only untill May that is when my internship is to start,and it will go on untill June 26th, from thereon i am free to look for a job even tho the HR manager told me the other day he will take me for my internship which is awesome, internships in most cases lead to employment and i already filled out employment form two weeks ago, so that tells me i am doing a good job, but not to sound weird or nothing i have this feeling that this pogo guy may want me to work for him since his assistant is old and about to retire. Call me crazy i just dont know what to think nomore.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:29 pm

Great on the internship/ job ...!!!

Yeh, if there were Other options to whom to assist...? TAKE THEM

working for Pogo wouldn't work Miss BLUSH.....

don't do it

don't do it to yourself or him

won't work

Take Curtain # 2

Patsy

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:35 pm

oh definitely, there is over 100 lawyers at that firm, its a very large firm so he is not the only option.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:46 pm

Cool - take curtain # 2

take a position with a challenge - perhaps a area/expertise your not too familar.

absorb all you can

your there to absorb & grow.

When your Partner - notice me POGO....??

Good luck

Patsy

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 9:53 pm

so what does POGO mean ( i know of pogo sticks lol as in corn dog) , is there other meaning behind it?

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:11 pm

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl

what does POGO mean?

your just now asking.??:yh_rotfl

sorry had to laugh.

originally like a POGO Stick - the toy - game, step on it & balance as it springs you up & down. that's like your guy

here I am - here I am.

look at me - look at me, notice me & seems to go to extremes for you to notice.

That's a Mr. POGO and it can also mean he has a erection

Oh - this deflates everything to explain this..................................................

Patsy

stella · Post by **stella** » Sat Feb 28, 2009 10:18 pm

haha that made me laugh out loud, now i fully understand!!! ty for explaining

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:02 am

:wah:

Welcome to FG Stella, think of him more like Tigger.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 12:33 pm

stella;1148182 wrote: lol typical of a guy... i dont want to have one night stand , now thats the type that needs no work, i meant that if he likes me and wants to make a move to work on it and show me that he is interested beyond just getting in my pants

Ok. I took it as playing that game people play. I just meant straight forward honesty with eachother. Thats always a good place to start. It builds a foundation of trust.

But someone has to break the ice.

Could you e mail him a funny note or maybe at least say hi ?

I understand about being quiet and shy but sometimes its good to step outside of the things we normally do or dont do.

But you should probably listen to Patsy anyway. I dont know too much.

Or Abbeynormal...her Tigger advice seemed really good.

stella · Post by **stella** » Sun Mar 01, 2009 3:47 pm

Nomad;1148546 wrote: Ok. I took it as playing that game people play. I just meant straight forward honesty with eachother. Thats always a good place to start. It builds a foundation of trust.

But someone has to break the ice.

Could you e mail him a funny note or maybe at least say hi ?

I understand about being quiet and shy but sometimes its good to step outside of the things we normally do or dont do.

But you should probably listen to Patsy anyway. I dont know too much.

Or Abbeynormal...her Tigger advice seemed really good.

I could do e mail of course, but i am not brave enough..As far as being straightforward i have no problem with that, but really i dont wanna be the first to make a move... i am not even working for him ....that could be one of the reasons we have not spoken yet , who knows , i will let you all know how it goes this week.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:17 am

Welcome to the forum Stella!

First off, he is a partner, he likes new blood.:sneaky:

this could be trouble for you.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Mar 02, 2009 6:18 am

Welcome to the forum Stella!

First off, he is a partner, he likes new blood.:sneaky:

You may just be one of his challenges.

so be on guard.

stella · Post by **stella** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 4:49 pm

Hello everyone,

Ok just an update on how this week went. Nothing special happened , as a matter of fact he was still walking around, our eyes met once , he still came to work at around 8 30 and thats it, no talk no hi no bye nothing.

So i just decided to put it behind me and forget all about it, i dont wanna spend my weekends thinking whats gonna happen next time i go there.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:47 pm

stella;1152619 wrote: Hello everyone,

Ok just an update on how this week went. Nothing special happened , as a matter of fact he was still walking around, our eyes met once , he still came to work at around 8 30 and thats it, no talk no hi no bye nothing.

So i just decided to put it behind me and forget all about it, i dont wanna spend my weekends thinking whats gonna happen next time i go there.

He probably lives with his mother and grandmother and spends his evenings building castles out of matchsticks.

Someone like that will masturbate to pictures of naked natives in National Geographic magazine.

You dont need that kind of trouble.