I feel like I am being bullied.
I was asked if my husband and I wanted holiday reservations on hold with this gal and her family. Maybe we should "hold' our spots....I told her we weren't ready to book anything yet...
FRIDAY she asked me if I wanted to HOLD a spot so we could all be together.....(all 5 families that went this past time) and I was kind of wishy washy about it-but told her--Yeah--you can hold a spot for us.
Later I get an e-mail from her saying that we owed her money for the reservation--and could get that as soon as possible! SHE ALREADY PAID FOR IT!. I was not under the assumption that we had to PAY right now....but apparently we do.
I get home and tell my hubby. He thinks a year out is to FAR to book--that he feels it is....just too far out to know yet. I check the holiday website. there is a small cancellation fee.
Last night I told her (at dinner in front of 2 other moms) that I talked to hubby and we felt like we needed to wait--that we didn't want to NOT go--but just couldn't COMMIT right now--I say that I saw there was a cancellation fee and we would need to do that and probably book closer to the date-even if we didn't get a room right next to them.....
she said to me
"well--you can cancel at any time up to the date-and it has already been PAID for on my credit card... So the best thing fo you to do would be just to write me a check and you can see if you want to REALLY cancel later on."
I was a wimp and dropped it because I wasn't about to get into it with her. I am not going to GIVE her money to "hang on to" for a year--only to tell her that we want to cancel. I went home and called a friend and told her about it--I said "WHAT was that???"
She said "that was her way of bullying you into NOT actually cancelling. She wasn't about to LET you cancel so she told you what you were GOING to do...not what you WANTED to do."
Hubby and I came to the conclusion that hubby will hand her a check for the small fee for CANCELLATION and tell her that we just can't COMMITT right now. Hubby said he would...but I am just pissy about it. WHY won't she just listen to ME? WHY didnt I just tell her --"NO, WE ARE CANCELLING now and I am NOT going to pay you now for a possible trip in a year. she won't say anythng to my hubby when he does it---but she will run and talk about us to others.
What is it about her that I allowed her to walk on me? I hate it...and I am mad at myself again for it!! I felt bulldozed.
Why am I such a weenie?
-
Bill Sikes
- Posts: 5515
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:21 am
Why am I such a weenie?
Not your fault, from my reading. I wouldn't pay a "cancellation fee", either. To "hold" is not to book. Tell her where to get off.
Why am I such a weenie?
birdseed;1197778 wrote: I feel like I am being bullied.
I was asked if my husband and I wanted holiday reservations on hold with this gal and her family. Maybe we should "hold' our spots....I told her we weren't ready to book anything yet...
FRIDAY she asked me if I wanted to HOLD a spot so we could all be together.....(all 5 families that went this past time) and I was kind of wishy washy about it-but told her--Yeah--you can hold a spot for us.
Later I get an e-mail from her saying that we owed her money for the reservation--and could get that as soon as possible! SHE ALREADY PAID FOR IT!. I was not under the assumption that we had to PAY right now....but apparently we do.
I get home and tell my hubby. He thinks a year out is to FAR to book--that he feels it is....just too far out to know yet. I check the holiday website. there is a small cancellation fee.
Last night I told her (at dinner in front of 2 other moms) that I talked to hubby and we felt like we needed to wait--that we didn't want to NOT go--but just couldn't COMMIT right now--I say that I saw there was a cancellation fee and we would need to do that and probably book closer to the date-even if we didn't get a room right next to them.....
she said to me
"well--you can cancel at any time up to the date-and it has already been PAID for on my credit card... So the best thing fo you to do would be just to write me a check and you can see if you want to REALLY cancel later on."
I was a wimp and dropped it because I wasn't about to get into it with her. I am not going to GIVE her money to "hang on to" for a year--only to tell her that we want to cancel. I went home and called a friend and told her about it--I said "WHAT was that???"
She said "that was her way of bullying you into NOT actually cancelling. She wasn't about to LET you cancel so she told you what you were GOING to do...not what you WANTED to do."
Hubby and I came to the conclusion that hubby will hand her a check for the small fee for CANCELLATION and tell her that we just can't COMMITT right now. Hubby said he would...but I am just pissy about it. WHY won't she just listen to ME? WHY didnt I just tell her --"NO, WE ARE CANCELLING now and I am NOT going to pay you now for a possible trip in a year. she won't say anythng to my hubby when he does it---but she will run and talk about us to others.
What is it about her that I allowed her to walk on me? I hate it...and I am mad at myself again for it!! I felt bulldozed.
unfortunately we all feel that way in odd circumstances just to say yes........
it just takes off the pressure of someone always asking....
and yes, you do have to pay a reservation fee amount.....or they cannot hold it.
- pay the cancellation fee and be done with it.
I was asked if my husband and I wanted holiday reservations on hold with this gal and her family. Maybe we should "hold' our spots....I told her we weren't ready to book anything yet...
FRIDAY she asked me if I wanted to HOLD a spot so we could all be together.....(all 5 families that went this past time) and I was kind of wishy washy about it-but told her--Yeah--you can hold a spot for us.
Later I get an e-mail from her saying that we owed her money for the reservation--and could get that as soon as possible! SHE ALREADY PAID FOR IT!. I was not under the assumption that we had to PAY right now....but apparently we do.
I get home and tell my hubby. He thinks a year out is to FAR to book--that he feels it is....just too far out to know yet. I check the holiday website. there is a small cancellation fee.
Last night I told her (at dinner in front of 2 other moms) that I talked to hubby and we felt like we needed to wait--that we didn't want to NOT go--but just couldn't COMMIT right now--I say that I saw there was a cancellation fee and we would need to do that and probably book closer to the date-even if we didn't get a room right next to them.....
she said to me
"well--you can cancel at any time up to the date-and it has already been PAID for on my credit card... So the best thing fo you to do would be just to write me a check and you can see if you want to REALLY cancel later on."
I was a wimp and dropped it because I wasn't about to get into it with her. I am not going to GIVE her money to "hang on to" for a year--only to tell her that we want to cancel. I went home and called a friend and told her about it--I said "WHAT was that???"
She said "that was her way of bullying you into NOT actually cancelling. She wasn't about to LET you cancel so she told you what you were GOING to do...not what you WANTED to do."
Hubby and I came to the conclusion that hubby will hand her a check for the small fee for CANCELLATION and tell her that we just can't COMMITT right now. Hubby said he would...but I am just pissy about it. WHY won't she just listen to ME? WHY didnt I just tell her --"NO, WE ARE CANCELLING now and I am NOT going to pay you now for a possible trip in a year. she won't say anythng to my hubby when he does it---but she will run and talk about us to others.
What is it about her that I allowed her to walk on me? I hate it...and I am mad at myself again for it!! I felt bulldozed.
unfortunately we all feel that way in odd circumstances just to say yes........
it just takes off the pressure of someone always asking....
and yes, you do have to pay a reservation fee amount.....or they cannot hold it.
- pay the cancellation fee and be done with it.
Life is just to short for drama.
Why am I such a weenie?
Pay the fee and be done with her not worth the anguish. Yes she should have listened to you, but she didn't cut your ties and move on. Rule of thumb all reservation require a fee to hold now you know you won't make that mistake again.
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
-
Bill Sikes
- Posts: 5515
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:21 am
Why am I such a weenie?
CARLA;1197833 wrote: now you know you won't make that mistake again.
Perhaps I misunderstood the OP. It seemed to me that she'd asked "a friend" to "hold" an opportunity, for which a fee was payable, & the OP wasn't informed of the fee. Eh?
Perhaps I misunderstood the OP. It seemed to me that she'd asked "a friend" to "hold" an opportunity, for which a fee was payable, & the OP wasn't informed of the fee. Eh?
Why am I such a weenie?
Not your problem, IMO. I would not dream of committing any friend to anything that costs money without express directions. I've put stuff on my card for friends before.. I double check with them to be sure they still want to do it and tell them when the bill is due and how much it will cost them, before I place the order for them.
She should just consider it a lesson learned and not ever try to arrange for you again. Simply tell her you are disappointed that she took it upon herself to make a decision that was really you and your husbands to make and that you hope this reminds her to check with you first, in the future, should the issue ever come up again.
She should just consider it a lesson learned and not ever try to arrange for you again. Simply tell her you are disappointed that she took it upon herself to make a decision that was really you and your husbands to make and that you hope this reminds her to check with you first, in the future, should the issue ever come up again.
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Why am I such a weenie?
This is a friend? sounds like you go on holiday with Gengis Khan !
Yes you are being bullied, so you can either put her in her place or get welcome tattooed on your forhead and she can keep using you as a doormat.
Yes you are being bullied, so you can either put her in her place or get welcome tattooed on your forhead and she can keep using you as a doormat.
Why am I such a weenie?
Pay the cancellation fee and let her know just how you feel. She is not a real friend if she can make you feel like this. Be polite about it if you still value her friendship but make sure she knows exactly how this has made you feel.
Personally I wouldn't pay a penny but I don't know how much you value her as a friend so paying a small fee is the easier way.
Good luck babes and I hope it goes ok for you.
Personally I wouldn't pay a penny but I don't know how much you value her as a friend so paying a small fee is the easier way.
Good luck babes and I hope it goes ok for you.
Why am I such a weenie?
Bill Sikes;1197840 wrote: Perhaps I misunderstood the OP. It seemed to me that she'd asked "a friend" to "hold" an opportunity, for which a fee was payable, & the OP wasn't informed of the fee. Eh?
-everyone should know when you make any reservation, they charge you for it.
If you made reservations example at a hotel, you know its automatically put on your credit card.
paying a fee...... holds that reservation......
oh god, where's Jerry Seinfeld when I need him!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
-everyone should know when you make any reservation, they charge you for it.
If you made reservations example at a hotel, you know its automatically put on your credit card.
paying a fee...... holds that reservation......
oh god, where's Jerry Seinfeld when I need him!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Why am I such a weenie?
Odie;1197950 wrote: -everyone should know when you make any reservation, they charge you for it.
If you made reservations example at a hotel, you know its automatically put on your credit card.
paying a fee...... holds that reservation......
oh god, where's Jerry Seinfeld when I need him!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
not me. when i make a hotel reservation with my card the charge is not applied at that time. if i cancel my reservation in time, 24 to 48 hours there is no charge whatsoever.
i absolutely would not pay a charge unless i am told up front there is one.
and then i would be looking elsewhere.
If you made reservations example at a hotel, you know its automatically put on your credit card.
paying a fee...... holds that reservation......
oh god, where's Jerry Seinfeld when I need him!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
not me. when i make a hotel reservation with my card the charge is not applied at that time. if i cancel my reservation in time, 24 to 48 hours there is no charge whatsoever.
i absolutely would not pay a charge unless i am told up front there is one.
and then i would be looking elsewhere.
I expressly forbid the use of any of my posts anywhere outside of FG (with the exception of the incredibly witty 'get a room already' )posted recently.
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
Folks who'd like to copy my intellectual work should expect to pay me for it.:-6
-
Bill Sikes
- Posts: 5515
- Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:21 am
Why am I such a weenie?
Odie;1197950 wrote: -everyone should know when you make any reservation, they charge you for it.
If you made reservations example at a hotel, you know its automatically put on your credit card.
paying a fee...... holds that reservation......l
Well, that's news to me.
If you made reservations example at a hotel, you know its automatically put on your credit card.
paying a fee...... holds that reservation......l
Well, that's news to me.
Why am I such a weenie?
You do have a certain amount of time to cancel the reservation 24 to 48 hours if you don't it will be charged to your credit card. You can't even make a reservation without a credit card these day they just won't do it.
ALOHA!!
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
MOTTO TO LIVE BY:
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, champagne in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming.
WOO HOO!!, what a ride!!!"
Why am I such a weenie?
The particular place in question allows you to hold your reservation for a time and a small fee--and book within a certain timeframe with your credit card and when you arrive, you are charged the full amount.
she asked me if I wanted her to HOLD..and she went ahead and BOOKED it without telling me. Then asked for the full amount. I had planned on payng the cancellation fee as it was nominal--but what I was upset about was that she basically TOLD me that I shouldn't CANCEL right now, and that I should just PAY her and deal with any cancellation I may have LATER.
She basically bullied me into feeling like I COULDN'T cancel when I wanted to.
She wanted money for something I hadn't totally agreed on spending the full amount on that day.
I did end up telling her later on today that I was NOT interested in having the reservation--and that she should call and cancel it--I will give her the cancellation fee--and be done with it. I told her I was not under the impression she would CHARGE it fo me and I would have rather had the opportunity to pay for it myself.
She was pissy with my choice-but she did cancel it, and I felt satisfied that I didn't let her talk me into something I was not prepared to pay for.
I need to remain cordial with her as we are in the same social community and children are in a small school together-but I am maintaining more awareness of how she operates now. I am trying to pull back fom this relationship...confrontation with people has never been my strongest asset!!! I am at heart a peacekeeper--and sometimes that causes me to fel like a doormat!
I appreciate you all reading my little rant for today!!!! It sure feels good to get others feedback.
she asked me if I wanted her to HOLD..and she went ahead and BOOKED it without telling me. Then asked for the full amount. I had planned on payng the cancellation fee as it was nominal--but what I was upset about was that she basically TOLD me that I shouldn't CANCEL right now, and that I should just PAY her and deal with any cancellation I may have LATER.
She basically bullied me into feeling like I COULDN'T cancel when I wanted to.
She wanted money for something I hadn't totally agreed on spending the full amount on that day.
I did end up telling her later on today that I was NOT interested in having the reservation--and that she should call and cancel it--I will give her the cancellation fee--and be done with it. I told her I was not under the impression she would CHARGE it fo me and I would have rather had the opportunity to pay for it myself.
She was pissy with my choice-but she did cancel it, and I felt satisfied that I didn't let her talk me into something I was not prepared to pay for.
I need to remain cordial with her as we are in the same social community and children are in a small school together-but I am maintaining more awareness of how she operates now. I am trying to pull back fom this relationship...confrontation with people has never been my strongest asset!!! I am at heart a peacekeeper--and sometimes that causes me to fel like a doormat!
I appreciate you all reading my little rant for today!!!! It sure feels good to get others feedback.
Why am I such a weenie?
You did good. Remember this experience next time so you can reply the way you actually want to reply the first time. Its a stepping stone towards becoming more assertive.
I AM AWESOME MAN
Why am I such a weenie?
Bill Sikes;1198132 wrote: Well, that's news to me.
really?
I'm sorry, I had no idea you didn't know.
they will just take a portion for the reservation.
really?
I'm sorry, I had no idea you didn't know.
they will just take a portion for the reservation.
Life is just to short for drama.
Why am I such a weenie?
birdseed;1198200 wrote: The particular place in question allows you to hold your reservation for a time and a small fee--and book within a certain timeframe with your credit card and when you arrive, you are charged the full amount.
she asked me if I wanted her to HOLD..and she went ahead and BOOKED it without telling me. Then asked for the full amount. I had planned on payng the cancellation fee as it was nominal--but what I was upset about was that she basically TOLD me that I shouldn't CANCEL right now, and that I should just PAY her and deal with any cancellation I may have LATER.
She basically bullied me into feeling like I COULDN'T cancel when I wanted to.
She wanted money for something I hadn't totally agreed on spending the full amount on that day.
I did end up telling her later on today that I was NOT interested in having the reservation--and that she should call and cancel it--I will give her the cancellation fee--and be done with it. I told her I was not under the impression she would CHARGE it fo me and I would have rather had the opportunity to pay for it myself.
She was pissy with my choice-but she did cancel it, and I felt satisfied that I didn't let her talk me into something I was not prepared to pay for.
I need to remain cordial with her as we are in the same social community and children are in a small school together-but I am maintaining more awareness of how she operates now. I am trying to pull back fom this relationship...confrontation with people has never been my strongest asset!!! I am at heart a peacekeeper--and sometimes that causes me to fel like a doormat!
I appreciate you all reading my little rant for today!!!! It sure feels good to get others feedback.
She should never have booked it until she asked you first.
confrontations can be tricky.
you did good today!:guitarist:guitarist
she asked me if I wanted her to HOLD..and she went ahead and BOOKED it without telling me. Then asked for the full amount. I had planned on payng the cancellation fee as it was nominal--but what I was upset about was that she basically TOLD me that I shouldn't CANCEL right now, and that I should just PAY her and deal with any cancellation I may have LATER.
She basically bullied me into feeling like I COULDN'T cancel when I wanted to.
She wanted money for something I hadn't totally agreed on spending the full amount on that day.
I did end up telling her later on today that I was NOT interested in having the reservation--and that she should call and cancel it--I will give her the cancellation fee--and be done with it. I told her I was not under the impression she would CHARGE it fo me and I would have rather had the opportunity to pay for it myself.
She was pissy with my choice-but she did cancel it, and I felt satisfied that I didn't let her talk me into something I was not prepared to pay for.
I need to remain cordial with her as we are in the same social community and children are in a small school together-but I am maintaining more awareness of how she operates now. I am trying to pull back fom this relationship...confrontation with people has never been my strongest asset!!! I am at heart a peacekeeper--and sometimes that causes me to fel like a doormat!
I appreciate you all reading my little rant for today!!!! It sure feels good to get others feedback.
She should never have booked it until she asked you first.
confrontations can be tricky.
you did good today!:guitarist:guitarist
Life is just to short for drama.