A warning to your teenagers content could be upsetting

[fuzzywuzzy]

As I've mentioned before I've been catching up with someone from my past.

Been thinking and reminicing and things I'd blocked out have been returning, fortunetly for me it's mostly the good stuff.

So anyway this is what I wanted to tell your children . No matter what happens in your home, or to you, don't go off the rails . Try to find an option, other than running away.

The pro's and con's of running away.

My story - I was being molested as a child, went on for about 8 years as a recall. In between I ran away. . Now, lets be honest here . The sense of danger (I'd always been told of ) was not in my mind because I'd seen what danger actually was and lived with it. Running away meant an enormous load off my shoulder and the sense of excilerating freedom was so overwhelming it made me cry with happiness . The bus I took was my escape vehicle and the bus driver knew exactly what I was doing .......He'd been driving me to school for years. He asked me questions and I chatted with him ......(but I knew all men had an agenda at that age and was wary, nobody was going to stop me ) I was strong willed and was going to get out.

Danger huh? it's all relative I suppose. You see people like to take advantage of you .........sometimes even young people are in it for a bob . The person that helped me get out thought it best to hand me over to a prostitute and her pimp. He was payed for it in a way that struck me dumb, he had an agenda in helping me ( he was a friend of mine from a good family, he knew why I was running away WTF?) . He was to be the first. But there was an argument I overheard during my time at this house. Others knew the dollar value of a child prostitute and the little deal going on ....was off. I was too valuable to waste. Don't get me wrong they were all very kind to me the whole time I was there . but things were happening that were above my head. I wasn't a stupid child ...just a bit damaged ...but I had enough street/personal knowledge of what was going on .........Now I had to run away again. They watched me like a hawk, they took me places all the time . And I enjoyed myself. They offered me drugs but I didn't want or liked what they did to them ...I was taking everything in that was going on around me .......Discovered aliesha (the prostitute ) was a heroin addict. Her pimp (who I thought at first was just a boyfriend) was the first to begin grooming me. Then his cousin .......Alll very sweet and nice. then I was introduced to friends and associates ......Beginning to get scary? yep!!!

Then the bottom fell out of their plan......The police were looking for me. Questioning all my friends. Including the one who had offered me over ( he was the one who dropped the bomb shell on them ...I htink it was his pay back for not being able to touch me.

Suddenly the asset became a dangerous commodity....they had to get rid of me quickly. I was having such a good time I didn't realise how afraid they were. good time you ask? Well when your home life is not too good you become very good at blocking out the negatives. it was discussed that they would send me to Sydney because I'd fetch a good price up there. that's when *my friend* told me to get in his car. He was taking me home.

In my mind I was too scared to go home and Sydney sounded fun. yeah I know what you're thinking ....:-5...Hey I was fourteen!! And i didn't have to put up with 'HIM' anymore, one of the reasons I ran away was "HE' started offereing me to his friends. In my mind athe time I didn't realise I'd ended up in exactly the same position.

So anyway I go home the reception was anything but pleasant ...as I suspected. they kept ploughing me with questions but i couldn't tell them because "HE' was standing there. And the way my dad was acting it would have been too much for him ...murder would have been done. So I stayed silent and he had me back in his clentches . If I wsn't going to tell them now I never would ...He'd won.

I put up with the dirty looks given to me "as I was the bad child now, fallen from grace " But I sucked it up.

The next day I was taken to the police station. I let it all out . The inspector wanted to hit me I think. comments from him - " you need a good kick up the arse and a slap around the head .....my responce " What makes you think I don't already get that"

"We could take you down stairs and strip search you"

"Over my ****ing dead body"

" did they touch you ?"

" None of your ****ing business"

oh yes I came over very well.....delightful even :sneaky: but I was scared and that's how teenagers act when they are frightened . Those around me who were supposed to protect me...(in my mind ) had put me right back where I'd started. I was angry!!!

Years later i had my revenge though and so many people got hurt ...but it wsn't revenge really, it was a sickening feeling that it was happening to others and I'd said nothing and it was continuing. I had to protect them. And in all the drama I did .

So to cut a long story short, try to speak up, if something is happening at home .......Do it the right way . No matter how devastating it will be it will happen anyway at some point. And you don't need the guilt of silence or the guilt of it happening to someone else because you were silent .. And if some want to say you're lying and out of control anyway ..........Ask them why they think that might be.

[fuzzywuzzy]

Oh and why did I not feel a prostitute was dangerous? Strict Catholic upbringing ...very naive. Mary Magdelene was apparently a prostitute and Jesus had her beside him and fogave her her ways . Gets very convoluted a childs mind when you delve into it.

[Clodhopper]

Dear Fuzzy: Big hugs. With no agenda.

Just big hugs.

[fuzzywuzzy]

Taught me a lot and why I'm a person who survives these days no matter what happens ....You get tough adn that's what I want to tell the kids... hold on for just a bit longer and you'll be an adult and master of your own.

[Kathy Ellen]

Whooooo Megan:-4 This is a very powerful story. I'm so sorry that you had to go through this....It's amazing that you've survived and have become such a strong woman.



Sending lots of hugs to you....

[fuzzywuzzy]

isn't it strange howe life works out and how things affect you ? I was always covered up as a child never showed my body to anyone .

Even at the all girls school I couldn't bare to be naked after gym ...you know, cause you think people can see your shame. You believe, somewhere in your mind they can see "it" . I often wonder these days how many girls in the same class were the same.

Most devastating time was in Grade six. It was hot and my teacher told me to take my jumper off........I couldn't ...I sat there frozen. I couldn't bare to be "seen" My teacher took it off me physically .....I was in shock and started to cry. She told me I was a stupid girl. Teh boy next to me stroked my arm to comfort me . His name was Dominic and I've never forgotten that gentleness all these years later.

We forget the little things ..........sent by god or a diety maybe or just a persons personality??? that keep us sane.

Since I've turned forty and with a little prodding by friends I can actually show cleavage now Well a bit anyway.

but I don't get that thing men used to say all the time .." you have such sad eyes" , "they're beautiful but so sad" god that used to grate at me.

[kayleneaussie]

I am glad your eyes are no longer sad fuzz:-4

Thanks for putting this on, I am sure it will give a lot of people things to think about.

I also think its so important for an adult to believe and support a child when they do reveal abuse.

Things in your childhood do affect your adulthood, I know it has for me but it also makes you a stronger person....hugs to you Fuzz :-4

[TenneseeGirl]

Very moving.

[lou lou belle]

Really sad story Fuzzy, but great to know you came out the other end stronger.

In the face of greay adversity people are sometimes their strongest.

Best wishes.

ps makes my childhood look like doddle compared to yours.

[Odie]

Megan, a very sad and disturbing time you had endeared.

You have come a long way, your strong and powerful and you no longer take anything from anyone and I respect that.

as we are all here everyday, laughing and joking it up, making posts, threads, friends....etc.etc....we never think that one of us or even more now have gone through what you did or other dramatic times in their life.

Thank you for being open with something so personal with us.



(((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))