How do you get over an affair?

babygirl · Post by **babygirl** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 10:56 am

omg i have been in tears reading this thread.

well i have not been through getting cheated on but i know where you are coming from here deciding if you can or cannot leave etc.

Just recentely i have gone through a bad time with my now ex bf (i would of not got through it if it was not for LC and Susie) i had been with my partner for 3 years we were great together well for the first few months, then he started beating me, he did this for 2 years and one night he was drunk and tried to kill me, i have been in a state of shock since then, i was too scaired to leave him so i just took the beatings every day but when he actually had a knife to my neck i knew i had to make it stop so i waited and the police got involved and he has just last thurs been to court over it but the sad news is he got away with it :-5 yes i am scaired he will come back and try to finish the job he started but i know now that i am stronger and i know what to do if that did happen, he has been calling me saying he is sorry and yes it is very hard to let him go but i knew i had to for my own safety, i do not regret getting out of the relationship as i am only 19 and have my whole life ahead of me..

so my advice is to get out whale you can, good luck and i hope it all turns out ok for you xx

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 11:19 am

Angel chocobo wrote: i had been with my partner for 3 years we were great together well for the first few months, then he started beating me,

GASP! Grrrr...Oh! That !$##$%!!@!!# If I ever meet himm in broad daylight I'll cancel his blasted ticket! What kind of an animal beats on a woman for Pete's Sake?!!:mad:

[QUTE]he did this for 2 years and one night he was drunk and tried to kill me, i have been in a state of shock since then, i was too scaired to leave him so i just took the beatings every day but when he actually had a knife to my neck i knew i had to make it stop so i waited and the police got involved

Oh you poor sweetie, angel! (Jives give Angel a big hug!) You are a very strong woma to fianlly get away from him. No wonder you could identify with my problems so well, you had worse ones of yor own!

and he has just last thurs been to court over it but the sad news is he got away with it :-5

Well...yes and no..he may not have been punished by the law, but you are out of his life now and losing someone as nice as you has to be devastating to his ego.

Thank goodness you've finally broken free! Now you can find a true guy!

yes i am scaired he will come back and try to finish the job he started but i know now that i am stronger and i know what to do if that did happen,

Yeah, call 911! Then attach an electric cord to the doorknob.

he has been calling me saying he is sorry

I'll bet, the sneaky b****rd. "Sorry for trying to kill you, honey! Let me back into your life and I promise not to do it again until I feel like it." What a rat.

i am only 19 and have my whole life ahead of me..

And you can say that again, Sweetie! Sorry that this sad excuse for a guy gave you a bad taste for men so early in your life. There are good guys out there, honest! You just have to be careful and watch for the signs of violence. Life's a learning process and you have just learned one of the hardest lessons there is..but yo are better for it. Stronger, and smarter. Good luck to you girl!

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sun Jun 19, 2005 5:18 pm

Angel chocobo wrote: omg i have been in tears reading this thread.

well i have not been through getting cheated on but i know where you are coming from here deciding if you can or cannot leave etc.

Just recentely i have gone through a bad time with my now ex bf (i would of not got through it if it was not for LC and Susie) i had been with my partner for 3 years we were great together well for the first few months, then he started beating me, he did this for 2 years and one night he was drunk and tried to kill me, i have been in a state of shock since then, i was too scaired to leave him so i just took the beatings every day but when he actually had a knife to my neck i knew i had to make it stop so i waited and the police got involved and he has just last thurs been to court over it but the sad news is he got away with it :-5 yes i am scaired he will come back and try to finish the job he started but i know now that i am stronger and i know what to do if that did happen, he has been calling me saying he is sorry and yes it is very hard to let him go but i knew i had to for my own safety, i do not regret getting out of the relationship as i am only 19 and have my whole life ahead of me..

so my advice is to get out whale you can, good luck and i hope it all turns out ok for you xx

Stories like yours make me so mad at out justice system. Laws were supposed to get tougher. Even if the victim did not press charges, the police can based on what they see. Many of them won't because the victim will end up back with the abuser anyways. Sad, but true. I've seen it so many times. Last night, while at the emergency room with my husband, a girl was brought in. She was bruised, bleeding, her eye swollen shut from her b/f beating her. As I sat there, listening to her tell her story to the police, I just wanted to scream. She was saying, "He would never hurt my babies." Does she not think he WAS hurting them emotionally by beating their mama? She also at one time believed he would never hurt her. Now what? Angel, no matter how sorry he is and how much he wants to change, chances are it will never happen. Be strong. You deserve so much better.

As for being cheated on, the only way I can describe that pain is, someone reaching down through your throat, grabbing you heart, twisting it, pulling it out. Most people believe "once a cheat, always a cheat". While that is probably true most of the time, it's not ALL of the time. Both people have to want the relationship to work. Forgiveness comes over time, sometimes years. You never forget, but it gets to the point where you don't think about it every day, but it is always there, waiting to creep up on you.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 12:48 pm

I will give you just one bit of advice here ...........keep yer eyes on that pc......trust me its a breeding ground for trouble if he cant be trusted.....its also the cause of many marriage break ups.Make sure you have complete access to it at any time and keep yer eye on what sites he visits.Sorry babe but I really dont like the sound of him getting a pc if he has played away before.Watch for signs........go past him when his on it an see if he shuts down what his on and also if he wants to stay on it when you go to bed.Just keep yer eye on him when his at the pc.........hopefully his learned his lesson but only time will tell.Get him to tell you his passwords to emails etc as why should they be a secret in a marriage.Good luck hun;)

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 1:41 pm

erm Carolly, it was 2 years ago babes, them posts were made in 2005

Wonder how it panned out for her?

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 1:48 pm

Chezzie;748757 wrote:

erm Carolly, it was 2 years ago babes, them posts were made in 2005

Wonder how it panned out for her?

Chezzie:-4 You are always too funny:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

HumanBeast · Post by **HumanBeast** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:41 pm

Do not dwell on it much.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:49 pm

Chezzie;748757 wrote:

erm Carolly, it was 2 years ago babes, them posts were made in 2005

Wonder how it panned out for her?

I KNOW ..........JUST CHECKING TO SEE IF YER AWAKE:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>IM GONNA KILL ER!!!!!:-5;)

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 2:51 pm

Kathy Ellen;748765 wrote: Chezzie:-4 You are always too funnyKath dont encourage her fgs grrrrrrrrr:-5:-5:wah::rolleyes:;)

Tater Tazz · Post by **Tater Tazz** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 4:55 pm

I think once they cheat there is always that possibility that they will do it again. I personnally would leave. Everyone is different and you have to do what is good for you.

twizzel · Post by **twizzel** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 5:23 pm

FGChatter;51825 wrote: This is my first ever post, so forgive me if I waffle on but I am so desperately hurt and confused.

I've been with my husband for 12 years and 4 weeks ago discovered that he slept with a girl he used to work with 2 years ago. I always had suspicions about this girl and for 2 years I have begged for the truth but he denied it constantly. I had a constant nagging doubt however for the full 2 years and when I got absolute concrete evidence 4 weeks ago and confronted him about it, he just lied and lied and lied and lied and liedÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ until he finally 'cracked' and confessed he's slept with this girl twice. I am utterly distraught. He is just not "the type" if that doesn't sound stupid. He is a very unobtrusive person, always polite and reserved, not outgoing, would never initiate a conversation with new friends etc - and always so dependable, loyal, loving and thoughtful so how the hell has this happened? I feel like I hate him for what he has done to me.

He no longer works at the same place and I know he is not in contact with this girl, but he texted her very heavily for an 18 month period - he now admits he was addicted to texting but how did he keep this from me so successfully for so long? I knew he was hiding his phone but he just kept giving me stupid, weak reasons for doing this and as I had a new-born son at the time, I thought I was paranoid or suffering from post-natal depression etc. However, I now feel so betrayed and just soÃ¢â‚¬Â¦Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ lost. I do not know what to do.

He is so remorseful and is desperate to make our marriage work, we've been to Relate but I just don't know how to begin dealing with this huge amount of hurt. My heart is literally broken. We have a 2 year old son who is the centre of my world but it kills me to think he must have been affected by the heavy atmosphere within our once-happy household. I am so unhappy.

I can't imagine ever trusting him again. He has today started a new job 30 miles away from home and for the first time ever has a PC and access to email. If he got sucked in so easily to the addiction of texting, surely he will be the same with email? I am so confused. I don't know whether to stay and try to make this relationship work or just cut my losses and build my future just me & my son. I am only 33 so know I can start again but who wants to be a single mum who works full time in this day and age?

I am so unhappy it's untrue. Has anyone out there been through something similar and if so, what did you do? What was the outcome? How do I ever trust him again?

Thanks for reading.

FGC

xxbeing a man I know how easily us men get tempted the trick is to keep us interested, 12 years is a long time people get stuck into the habit of doing the same old things. Some times we all of us need a little exitment we all need to feel wanted and when some one lets us know we are wanted we all give in. Not becaus we are not crazy about our partners but it is a little bit of exitement in an otherwise dull world. we go to the same job every day we do the same thing every day we drive to and from work along the same roads evry day. then at the week end we drive to the same supermarket vissit the same relatives/friends watch the same tele, then some one offers you something differant so you say what the hell what harm can it do. You need to give him all the exitement he can deal with at home greet him in new sexy outfits seduce him as he walks through the door remove his need to go anywhere else. Like most of us he is bored make the thought of coming home to you the most exciting thing in his day and he will come home. to er is human to forgive is divine be an angel.

kanja90 · Post by **kanja90** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 8:37 am

Sorry to hear about your story.

From what you have explained, it seems to me that this behaviour was totally uncharacteristic of his usual behaviour. This is not an excuse for his behaviour, rather just a case of looking at the bigger picture.

No doubt you will feel very hurt,angry and betrayed. Natural emotions under the circumstances. However what I would say would be, if you truely believe that he is remorseful then in the end you will be alright. By Gods grace.

Time heals and you must take this opportunity to talk as much as possible to him and for both of you to spill out your feelings on how any why you came into this situation..

He continually lied no doubt to cover the previous lies and the more one lies the harder it is to tell the truth.

We are all humans and will all make mistakes, wrong judgements. Call it what you may. I would say do not end the relationship on this.

Use time to heal and look forward and not back.

twizzel · Post by **twizzel** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 10:37 am

kanja90;770715 wrote: Sorry to hear about your story.

From what you have explained, it seems to me that this behaviour was totally uncharacteristic of his usual behaviour. This is not an excuse for his behaviour, rather just a case of looking at the bigger picture.

No doubt you will feel very hurt,angry and betrayed. Natural emotions under the circumstances. However what I would say would be, if you truely believe that he is remorseful then in the end you will be alright. By Gods grace.

Time heals and you must take this opportunity to talk as much as possible to him and for both of you to spill out your feelings on how any why you came into this situation..

He continually lied no doubt to cover the previous lies and the more one lies the harder it is to tell the truth.

We are all humans and will all make mistakes, wrong judgements. Call it what you may. I would say do not end the relationship on this.

Use time to heal and look forward and not back. I think your post should have gone to chater thankfully I am male and married to the girl of my dreams. But you never know dreams change.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 12:23 pm

This thread is very old, but it doesnt matter... You never get OVER it. You accept it and continue, or leave. But whatever you choose... it changes you, forever.

kayleneaussie · Post by **kayleneaussie** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 1:12 pm

weeder;770935 wrote: This thread is very old, but it doesnt matter... You never get OVER it. You accept it and continue, or leave. But whatever you choose... it changes you, forever.

ahhhhhhhhhhhh I knew I had seen this post before

:)

scottd5 · Post by **scottd5** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:20 am

The question I have is how to you learn to forgive or get past the affair. Three years my wife was unhappy with her life, she kept this secret away from me. We moved back to a big city and she lost 140 pounds and started a new job. She changed from that point she had decided that she no longer wanted to be married. To everybody else at the age of 35 she was going to a mid life crisis. She would stay out all night, talk to other men on phone for hours, and lie about where she was going who she was going to be with. People would tell me are you sure she is not cheating and I would answer no She would never do that she know the feeling her first husband did it and left while she pregent. At the age of 17 she had gotten married and 3 years later they had gotten divorced. At the divorce hearing she found out that he had four other children buy four other women and the oldest was two. So I never thought she would do that to me.

On December 17, 2007 she had changed plans with to meet with her girlfriend is what she told but in truth it was a old high school friend. She had even given me the address where she would be at and told she would be home buy midnight. We had been doing marriage counseling for about four weeks and I thought we where making good progress. At 1:30 am I figured she had lost track of time or had to much to drink so I jumped in the car and went to the place she was at. I knocked on the door and a half dressed man was standing there and my wife was walking down the stairs. I will never forget the expression on her face, I will also never forget the feeling I had a marriage for 15 years at that time, and three kids jest went out the door. I have to say she saved that mans life that night for if she had not jumped in her car in 1 min or if he had walked out the door I would have killed him. I was still dressed in my work cloths which were a full SWAT uniform and my sidearm was on my side. I followed her back to are house and is where the truth came out.

Three years later Iâ€™m still plagued of what she did I have tried to let it go but things she say and things she does bring right back to the front. First month after I was suppose to let it go and forget about it, six months later she says she is living in purgatory, three years later I thought everything was doing good she is still unhappy. I have done everything she asked for changed everything for her but it seems I can never make her happy. Talking about anything that she does brings up the past and she is paying for her mistakes. To this day she says she hates her life but back then she bagged me to give her another chance. Iâ€™m tired of trying to talk to her about what she is doing and he getting defensive and throwing up I want a divorce. It is bad when your own kids are telling me to leave her because they can not stand to be around her. How to break free from someone you love? Or Forget the affair and learn to trust her? Iâ€™m so lost

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:39 am

I think this should be what you focus on your kids. Life goes on she is still their mother, your still their father you just can't live together any longer that seems clear to me. Yes it is painful, yes it hurt, yes you will get over it, yes you will be happy again. Which is something I don't think you have experienced for many years. Torturing the entire family isn't healthy for anyone. I wish you luck you need to go deep in your soul and ask the very hard questions and I hope you find the answers that will make you enjoy some happiness with your children.

[QUOTE]It is bad when your own kids are telling me to leave her because they can not stand to be around her.[/QUOTE]

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Sep 13, 2009 10:44 am

If she hates her life that bad, she is the only one that can change that.

It sounds like you have done everything she has asked you to do, but hasn't changed herself.

Was there nothing about her that you would have wanted changed?

3 years is not a long time, some can never get over adultery......

I think you both need counseling, together, and see if that works.

It just sounds that 3 years later...she is still and may never be happy.

if she refuses counseling, you may have to make a decision as you are no longer happy either.

and welcome Scott to forumgarden.

joey2000 · Post by **joey2000** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:47 pm

Not replying to OP as it's been a long time, but generally: I'm pretty dogmatic about this. If someone cheated on me, it's over. No 2d chance, no let's chit-chat about it and ultra-analyze our feelings, golly gee why did this happen, was the person drunk, did the other person "drive them to it" (that one is esp nauseating), no excuses, and no forgiveness. More like you disgust me, get out. Even for the moment bypassing the keep-your-pants-on aspect, I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't even trust.

Sorry for anyone who has had to deal with this.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 3:59 pm

joey2000;1265676 wrote: Not replying to OP as it's been a long time, but generally: I'm pretty dogmatic about this. If someone cheated on me, it's over. No 2d chance, no let's chit-chat about it and ultra-analyze our feelings, golly gee why did this happen, was the person drunk, did the other person "drive them to it" (that one is esp nauseating), no excuses, and no forgiveness. More like you disgust me, get out. Even for the moment bypassing the keep-your-pants-on aspect, I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't even trust.

Sorry for anyone who has had to deal with this.I thought the same exact way once, but people have no idea what happens when it happens. It's total, total darkness and confusion.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:03 pm

Robert J;1265680 wrote: I thought the same exact way once, but people have no idea what happens when it happens. It's total, total darkness and confusion.

Very true but if you are in a relationship for double digit years why in hades can't you still talk to your partner before you go out and cheat. I am not saying you directly RJ or anyone else saying it as a generalization.

We create partnerships and relationships so that we can support each other and lean on each other (unless there is abuse) why is it people can't communicate ahead of time before it becomes cheating????

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:08 pm

minks;1265682 wrote: Very true but if you are in a relationship for double digit years why in hades can't you still talk to your partner before you go out and cheat. I am not saying you directly RJ or anyone else saying it as a generalization.

We create partnerships and relationships so that we can support each other and lean on each other (unless there is abuse) why is it people can't communicate ahead of time before it becomes cheating????Funny thing is, in my case, she was telling me. Of course its complicated as I'm sure it is in most cases.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:11 pm

Robert J;1265686 wrote: Funny thing is, in my case, she was telling me. Of course its complicated as I'm sure it is in most cases.

true each incident is unique and nobody can tell anybody how to handle it cause we haven't experienced exactly what others go through.

I guess the best thing in each case weather one stays or goes, we better learn something from it.

joey2000 · Post by **joey2000** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:31 pm

edit: never mind. :embarrassed:

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:35 pm

joey2000;1265721 wrote: Not sure how/why my post on this was deleted - hopefully accidental so I'll try one more time:

Your post is right where you left it.

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:45 pm

joey2000;1265721 wrote: edit: never mind. :embarrassed:

Ya Narna:wah::wah:

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 4:46 pm

joey2000;1265721 wrote: edit: never mind. :embarrassed:

well stick around that feeling will soon pass and you can post it.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:27 pm

joey2000;1265721 wrote: edit: never mind. :embarrassed:

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Tue Nov 24, 2009 5:59 pm

Robert J;1265680 wrote: I thought the same exact way once, but people have no idea what happens when it happens. It's total, total darkness and confusion.

minks;1265691 wrote: true each incident is unique and nobody can tell anybody how to handle it cause we haven't experienced exactly what others go through.

I guess the best thing in each case weather one stays or goes, we better learn something from it.

It's like someone kicked you in your gut and almost a state of shock. Believe it or not, sometimes it can actually make the marriage stronger and closer, but that takes a lot of hard work and a lot of healing time. I guess it all depends on the sincerity of the one that cheated of total honesty, wanting to work on it and make the changes needed and willingness to give their partner room to feel and heal. It also depends on the desire of both parties to save their marriage and do whatever it takes to do so. And yes, lessons need to be learned on both sides to prevent it from happening again.

oanadoledo · Post by **oanadoledo** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:26 pm

God will help you.

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Fri Jan 08, 2010 1:27 pm

oanadoledo;1280405 wrote: God will help you.God? if God is really out here then he made the entire mess.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Jan 09, 2010 9:42 pm

Ahso!;1280406 wrote: God? if God is really out here then he made the entire mess.

I have to agree.

How dare he make life miserable

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Mon Jun 07, 2010 5:16 am

Ahso!;1280406 wrote: God? if God is really out here then he made the entire mess.

That is what I believe it comes down too for most people who love each other, as alot of us dont fully understand mentally what the processes of our brain are going through as far as how social interaction and simularities between two people combined with natural physical attraction between those two people combine to produce what we like to call love. Now i believe as we are still animals that are still much more naturalistic in our need to want to reproduce ipolygamy is bound to happen. It is only when you add in this human made idea of love, this notion that there is one person out there for everyone and some unseen power is going to draw thes two together and keep them there that you have a conflict with more naturalistic urges that all animals feel to reproduce with the best posible mate, to provide the best possible offspring, to provide the best possible survival rate of the species. Things can really go wrong when the couple in question fail to recognize that there is alot of work at understanding, and being able to accept each others flaws, and being able to cope with each others decline in what originally made both of them such a physically attracted to each other to allow for the idea of love to spark between them. If the couple in question fails to recognize that they have to do most of the work in order to keep the idea that they love together alive instead of rely on some unseen force like god to do it for them then I believe that eventually unless they change their idea of what it takes to be in love the relationship has an increasing chance of failing. So for you instance I am not aware of the full details, but it seems that there was a misunderstanding of what was (physically and/or mentally and/or emotionally) needed to keep you and the described male's idea of love alive and as the more naturalistic urges overcame the belief that god or whatever you believe is that unseen force that brings two people together infidelity became more and more possible. For me when I found out my first girlfriend was cheating on me I also took it hard, but as I looked in to the logic and science of attraction and how that affects the phsycology of what we percieve as love I came to my opinion that love is not kept by god or some unseen force, but is kept alive by the will and determination of a both members of a relationship to upkeep cultural and traditional values of monogamy, as I came to realize that if one of the members will or determination falters the relationship is in peril and as today we are do not hold traditional values as dear as we should and are a society that is being driven more and more on sex infidelity has a greater chance of taking over the idea of love.

Post by **LarsMac** » Mon Jun 07, 2010 10:59 pm

Ahso!;1280406 wrote: God? if God is really out here then he made the entire mess.

Oh, No!

You can't blame God for the messes we make of things.

We humans are perfectly capable of screwing things up beyond repair without HIS help.

It's after we do, that God comes along and helps us sort it all out.

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Mon Jun 07, 2010 11:17 pm

LarsMac;1314445 wrote: Oh, No!

You can't blame God for the messes we make of things.

We humans are perfectly capable of screwing things up beyond repair without HIS help.

It's after we do, that God comes along and helps us sort it all out.

I believe If I didn't need any help creating a mess I shouldn't need help cleaning it up. I also believe that the process of cleaning up a mess myself that I created by myself gives me a better understanding of what did in the first place to cause it so as not to repeat the mistake in the future.

rissa · Post by **rissa** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:21 pm

I,m new here,i don,t know if what i,m about

to tell you guys is in the right aerea(forum).lol

My other half had a relationship on line with

an american 20 yrs his juniuor,write or wrong

i dont know,was it my fault i,ll never no.

But one thing i do know its broken everythink,

the love i feel for him,is tainted,can never be

the same again.

Its true it was all done on line,

i dont know what he said to her really i dont

really want to know,

I know for a fact he sent her love poems.

I,m surviving here on the love of my children

thats all.

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:35 pm

rissa;1314936 wrote: I,m new here,i don,t know if what i,m about

to tell you guys is in the right aerea(forum).lol

My other half had a relationship on line with

an american 20 yrs his juniuor,write or wrong

i dont know,was it my fault i,ll never no.

But one thing i do know its broken everythink,

the love i feel for him,is tainted,can never be

the same again.

Its true it was all done on line,

i dont know what he said to her really i dont

really want to know,

I know for a fact he sent her love poems.

I,m surviving here on the love of my children

thats all.

This is another example the questin is how you get over it which I believe first involves understanding why it happens, which in my opinion is a combonation of the one couples ability to fail to understand the time effort and work both physically and mentally required for a relationship, the heavy reliability of some outside force such to provide this power of love to prevail over all problems that may occur in a relationship, and the inability to understand the humans basic instincts to mate and to seperated them from the what is needed to have a long healthy relationship

rissa · Post by **rissa** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:52 pm

Cheers for your reply,much appreciated,

a lot of wise words.,i,m gratefull.

i still and never will understand why

he broken that was so intact.

Whatever he had in the beginning

he aint got it know.

Which is so heartbreakin.

BUT **** him i,ll suRvive.

panzermk2 · Post by **panzermk2** » Wed Jun 09, 2010 8:39 pm

Simple I have another one............................:rolleyes:

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:42 pm

panzermk2;1314970 wrote: Simple I have another one............................:rolleyes:

That means one of two things either

a.)(how I think you meant it by saying "you have another one") you have an affair with another person to combat the person's affair they had

or

b) You start a relationship and after you feel you solidified it you have an affair.

The person in both examples are using whomever happen to be the unlucky ones that the person having the affair to get over an affair chooses to be involved in a romantic way with. Both relationships A) the one that is started out of revenge and Example B) the one that is started out of what I only can deduct is the spiteful notion that if I do what happened to me to someone else, maybe my feelings won't hurt as bad. Both examples are relationships that are started with an agenda and doomed to fail and don't serve the purpose of getting over an affair as the end result is, the bad feelings of the last relationship are just transfered to a new one.

panzermk2 · Post by **panzermk2** » Fri Jun 11, 2010 2:21 pm

Nope it's C. I get over MY last affair by having a new one.

Of course things like humor are lost on some people.

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Fri Jun 11, 2010 8:10 pm

panzermk2;1315311 wrote: Nope it's C. I get over MY last affair by having a new one.

Of course things like humor are lost on some people.

humor no but sarcasm yes you can't change the tone to express sarcastic humor very well in a posted message except maybe with double air quotes " " " " or the double wink emoticon

littleCJelkton · Post by **littleCJelkton** » Fri Jun 11, 2010 8:16 pm

panzermk2;1315311 wrote: Nope it's C. I get over MY last affair by having a new one.

Of course things like humor are lost on some people.

of course, humor helps calm the stress level down of a person who has just been told the one they love, but humor can only go so far as an affair is a an event that is not very humorous.