Nervous Breakdowns

[almostfamous]

So, this is isn't something that I've really shared on here but today I got a 'kick in the gut' of sorts that brought it back to the forefront rather abruptly.

In November of 07 I had what was eventually termed as a "nervous breakdown"... it took a while for the "experts" to decide that it was indeed what had occurred because I kept being accused of meth abuse.... It was the only way they felt they could explain my behavior even though my system was absolutely void of any evidence. This was because I WAS NOT, nor have I EVER BEEN a meth user/addict.

So, there are 3 days that I still can't personally account for. The blanks, well most of them, have been filled in by friends that witnessed my erratic behavior at the time. Friends that to this day.. our relationships have not mended to my satisfaction. It breaks my heart most days because these women were a source of strength in my life and I miss them more than words can convey. I understand their hesitance in a way and more than that, understand how they were hurt by my words and actions at the time even though I wasn't myself.

But, today... I looked at one of those friends' facebook and realized she had sent her wedding invitations out and simultaneously realized she never asked for my address. I know I move a lot but come on... we just spoke by phone a couple of weeks ago and even though I might not be able to make the trip.... an invite would've avoided this crappy feeling I have right now.

It sucks that something I couldn't help has caused this aching pain in my heart today. A pain that I've tried to push aside because the breakdown in itself was by far, the hardest thing I've ever endured and attempted to gain understanding of.

Has anyone else ever been through something like this? Should I say something to her? Or should I mark it off? Suppressing my emotions is what led to the breakdown in the first place but I just hate making waves

(...sorry for the book)

[gmc]

It's hard to deal with someone that has had a breakdown-to know what to do or say-not everyone is sympathetic to people that are mentally ill She may feel you would not be able to cope or others there might have made things uncomfortable for you and that's why she didn't ask you. Rather than assume the worst perhaps she was being thoughtful.

I was at a relatives wedding-the grooms brother is a manic depressive who apparently declined because it wasn't a "proper" wedding. Most of his friends are unaware he even has a brother-not out of shame or anything but more because in our culture you keep to yourself about some things. In a way it was a relief as he has been violent in the past and has a habit of deliberately saying things that antagonise people -in the name of saying what he thinks. In a social gathering with strangers it could have been a nightmare and spoiled the day for the groom's mother more than anyone else.

[Odie]

'Friends that to this day.. our relationships have not mended to my satisfaction. It breaks my heart most days because these women were a source of strength in my life and I miss them more than words can convey. I understand their hesitance in a way and more than that, understand how they were hurt by my words and actions at the time even though I wasn't myself.'



As you just said they have been hesitant every since your breakdown.

Some who don't know how to 'handle' or 'cope' with what they see when a person they have known for so long, all of a sudden acts irrationally.....its scares them to see the person like that.

This is why they were hesitant.......

some will say, omg, she's gone insane?

others may think, can I trust her not to hurt me?

she's a nutcase, she should be in a mental institution?

they don't say these things to hurt you.......they just don't know what a breakdown is....



but to those of us, myself included who have had breakdowns know full and well you do survive and gradually get better and your back to yourself again.......and you don't need to be institutionalized or any of the above.



therefore none of the above possible thoughts or being frightened that you may possible hurt them.......never enter 'our' minds.



I would honestly ask her, 'I just noticed I am not on your invitation list?

'Did I do or say something to offend you?'

then after she has answered......ask her 'is it due to the breakdown I had?.......and explain that you have been 100% better since then.



if she gives you an excuse and doesn't ask you? -------just accept it and move on.

we don't always get to chose & keep our friends for various reasons.

(and I never said it doesn't hurt)



hope this helps and good luck!

[Raven]

Sweetheart, in science terms, your nervous system went ppphhhttt brieflly. It took a long time to get to that point, and it is going to take a lot longer to heal. Vitamins e, c, and b12, plus b6 are all good for promoting nervous system health. Evening primrose also does a trick as well.

But as for healing relationships, if your 'friends' cant be forgiving when an apology and explaination is given, then they are not the kind of people you need around you while you heal.

It is time to take stock of what is really important in your life and what is not. I know...I've been there.

Identify what factors drove you to where you were and amputate them. (not talking body parts here!) You have a wonderful chance to start fresh. You have done nothing to warrant snubs, but perhaps you still may be hypersensitive? By giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, you can put away negative karma and move on. If understanding and compassion are witheld from you, then you need to develop friendships with kindred souls who can help you learn to forgive yourself. Thats where true healing begins.

x

[farmer giles]

when my ex took chantelle away after i brought her up alone till she was 5 i had a breakdown i remember crying a lot and drinking a lot

i lost a year of my life

[shelbell]

I'm not sure if what I've suffered is nervous breakdowns, or are meltdowns...maybe they're the same thing.

I've never had to be hospitalized from it, but somedays all I do is cry, others I stay in bed and sleep for 2-3 days only getting up to use the bathroom and get some water to drink...then I'm right back in bed....and I sleep the entire time. Sometimes I can't remember what day it is, and I'll just forget to eat. I've dealt with severe depression for many years, along with bipolar2. I've suffered thru many of these symptoms for a long time, but after hubby passed away 6 months ago, so many of these things have only gotten worse. Anytime something else bad comes up, even minor things, I just seem to freak out and over react, sometimes I just go to bed and don't care about anything but sleeping.

It's so lonely and it feels that no one else can possibly understand what I'm going thru. Sometimes I just want to put my fist thru the wall, or bang my head against it...and sometimes I just wish there was somone aroud that I could just bash their face in. :(:-5:-5

[Kathy Ellen]

Hey Beth:-4



I hear what you're saying. I try really hard not to give up on my friends when they're having a hard time and hope they do the same for me. I have stood by all my friends helping them through their issues, except one. I had to give up on this friend as her problems, after our 30 yr. friendship, was destroying my life. I had to let this friendship go.



But, if friends won't support you, then maybe they were never a true friend. Maybe you don't really need friends like that.



Do you feel comfortable calling your friend and asking why you weren't invited? This way you'll know and can then move on. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. It would be good to give her a chance to explain her decision before you react.



AND, I hear you when you say that it's hard for you to cause waves. All of my years growing up, I was never allowed to create 'ripples' and it's still hard for me to confront people when I'm upset. I was thinking about creating a thread about it tonight..dunno...



Keep the faith Beth...talk to her first. It might hurt to know the truth but at least you'll have closure and will be able to move on.



Good luck:-4

[AussiePam]

AFTR and Shelbell - you are both getting some ongoing professional medical help, aren't you??!! There's a lot that can be done to help the kind of things you're dealing with. Illness can be mental as well as physical and there is no shame in it. Any more than there would be if you'd got malaria. It needs treatment, then ongoing monitoring.

AFTR - it's sad, but there are a lot of people who just don't understand, are afraid at what happened, maybe feel threatened by it. You said your behaviour when you had the breakdown was erratic. It spooked your friend. Not everyone can cope. People diagnosed with cancer also find some friends just can't cope. Not that they are bad people, or want to hurt anyone, they just can't go there. It's sad.

Kathy's advice is good!!

Shelbell - what you describe is immediately recognisable to anyone who's been involved with bipolar depression. Don't beat yourself up over it as well. It's an illness - and needs medical attention and tender loving care.

[almostfamous]

gmc;1247566 wrote: It's hard to deal with someone that has had a breakdown-to know what to do or say-not everyone is sympathetic to people that are mentally ill She may feel you would not be able to cope or others there might have made things uncomfortable for you and that's why she didn't ask you. Rather than assume the worst perhaps she was being thoughtful.

I was at a relatives wedding-the grooms brother is a manic depressive who apparently declined because it wasn't a "proper" wedding. Most of his friends are unaware he even has a brother-not out of shame or anything but more because in our culture you keep to yourself about some things. In a way it was a relief as he has been violent in the past and has a habit of deliberately saying things that antagonise people -in the name of saying what he thinks. In a social gathering with strangers it could have been a nightmare and spoiled the day for the groom's mother more than anyone else.


I appreciate your view on it but thoughtful feels far fetched. Maybe I'm just more thoughtful?? And I could never imagine doing this to another friend? And I'm not saying she did it on purpose but seriously.... we just talked around a week ago and we even talked about the wedding. Something that perplexes me now is a question she asked me during that conversation... and I can't quite understand the intention or reasoning behind it now but she asked me "so you won't have had the baby by the time I get married will you?"... she almost sounded sad and at the time, I took it as she knew I wouldn't want to be IN the wedding all pregnant and junk. So, having said that, why talk about the wedding if there would be no intention of inviting me?

And as for it being uncomfortable for me, few people there even know about it. Unless she talked a lot of **** about me behind my back and me being face to face with those people would be uncomfortable, only not to me cuz I have no clue what she's told everyone... ya know what lol.... I think I have my answer.

As Rob would say, I knew you'd figure it out if you argued with yourself about it enough :rolleyes:

[almostfamous]

Odie;1247571 wrote:

hope this helps and good luck!


Thanks Odie, it does help but I think I'm just going to let it be. It's her day and no matter what I wish her the best. I don't have it in me for hard feelings, it simply is what it is and pain is no stranger. It's not worth getting too mucked up about, I know that now.

One thing that has probably been the hardest thing for me to accept about people in my life that let me down or hurt me for whatever reason is the fact that I'm not that way. I'm not saying I'm perfect or have never hurt someone but I'm overly considerate most days.... well, I used to be moreso than I am now but you can only be taken advantage of so many times before you become a little harder towards people.. But sometimes it just hurts because in certain situations you know you would've handled things differently *shrug*

[almostfamous]

Raven;1247592 wrote: Sweetheart, in science terms, your nervous system went ppphhhttt brieflly. It took a long time to get to that point, and it is going to take a lot longer to heal. Vitamins e, c, and b12, plus b6 are all good for promoting nervous system health. Evening primrose also does a trick as well.

But as for healing relationships, if your 'friends' cant be forgiving when an apology and explaination is given, then they are not the kind of people you need around you while you heal.

It is time to take stock of what is really important in your life and what is not. I know...I've been there.

Identify what factors drove you to where you were and amputate them. (not talking body parts here!) You have a wonderful chance to start fresh. You have done nothing to warrant snubs, but perhaps you still may be hypersensitive? By giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, you can put away negative karma and move on. If understanding and compassion are witheld from you, then you need to develop friendships with kindred souls who can help you learn to forgive yourself. Thats where true healing begins.

x


You're absolutely right about the relationships that I feel (and some that I gave up on years ago) needed mending.... a friend of mine told me yesterday.... 'Bethany, you didn't lose them, they lost you... they have no idea the person you've become having gone thru that'.... and he's damn right. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I am a better person now. My road to recovery was anything but easy and I still made mistakes that were detrimental to my health but in the end I came out with a better, humbler perspective on life.

I think I'll slap myself on the ass now :wah: jk but you're also right about who I surround myself with. Unfortunately, and as much as I love my parents, they don't always tend to be the healthiest pair to be around but when options are well, nonexistent, you appreciate what you have and hope for sanity as soon as it is affordable.

And another point you made was forgiving myself.... that was my biggest struggle and may very well be something that is still holding me back. I just wish the few days that I have no personal recollection of would just magically appear! Only then do I feel I would have the closure I need to move on :/

[almostfamous]

farmer giles;1247596 wrote: when my ex took chantelle away after i brought her up alone till she was 5 i had a breakdown i remember crying a lot and drinking a lot

i lost a year of my life


:yh_hugs

I can't imagine how hard that was for you but I'm glad you made it out of it pal. We wouldn't know what to do without ya.

[Odie]

almostfamous;1247938 wrote: Thanks Odie, it does help but I think I'm just going to let it be. It's her day and no matter what I wish her the best. I don't have it in me for hard feelings, it simply is what it is and pain is no stranger. It's not worth getting too mucked up about, I know that now.

One thing that has probably been the hardest thing for me to accept about people in my life that let me down or hurt me for whatever reason is the fact that I'm not that way. I'm not saying I'm perfect or have never hurt someone but I'm overly considerate most days.... well, I used to be moreso than I am now but you can only be taken advantage of so many times before you become a little harder towards people.. But sometimes it just hurts because in certain situations you know you would've handled things differently *shrug*


It has also been that way for me as well, as I just don't understand how some people react, let me down and end up hurting me...To me almostfamous, if it is a true friend, then you communicate back and forth all the time something upsets one another....no one, no one is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, everyone says things they shouldn't have....but good friends should sit down and talk through issues.

As I get older now, its even worse?:-5:-5

It's not like I am a school girl, I am 58 years old, at my age no friends should ever hurt, mistrust, let you down......you talk it out.....



:-4



its not just you who goes through this.

[shelbell]

AussiePam;1247696 wrote: AFTR and Shelbell - you are both getting some ongoing professional medical help, aren't you??!! There's a lot that can be done to help the kind of things you're dealing with. Illness can be mental as well as physical and there is no shame in it. Any more than there would be if you'd got malaria. It needs treatment, then ongoing monitoring.



Shelbell - what you describe is immediately recognisable to anyone who's been involved with bipolar depression. Don't beat yourself up over it as well. It's an illness - and needs medical attention and tender loving care.


I do see a psychiatrist every 3-4 weeks. It seems that I've tried just about every medication or medicine "cocktails" there is...all to no avail. I'm extremely medication resistant so I usually end up on the highest doses and they still don't help(medication for physical problems don't help either). It's a hereditary thing that affects about 10% of the population...I got it from my dad. I have to be put to sleep for any type of procedure because I can't be numbed.My medicare will cover my shrinks visits and my meds, but doesn't cover counseling....how stupid is that. I do keep trying tho...and hoping that one day, we'll find something that works. And thanks for your kind concern Pam. :-4

[almostfamous]

shelbell;1247640 wrote: I'm not sure if what I've suffered is nervous breakdowns, or are meltdowns...maybe they're the same thing.

I've never had to be hospitalized from it, but somedays all I do is cry, others I stay in bed and sleep for 2-3 days only getting up to use the bathroom and get some water to drink...then I'm right back in bed....and I sleep the entire time. Sometimes I can't remember what day it is, and I'll just forget to eat. I've dealt with severe depression for many years, along with bipolar2. I've suffered thru many of these symptoms for a long time, but after hubby passed away 6 months ago, so many of these things have only gotten worse. Anytime something else bad comes up, even minor things, I just seem to freak out and over react, sometimes I just go to bed and don't care about anything but sleeping.

It's so lonely and it feels that no one else can possibly understand what I'm going thru. Sometimes I just want to put my fist thru the wall, or bang my head against it...and sometimes I just wish there was somone aroud that I could just bash their face in. :(:-5:-5


I hate to hear you're still going thru this and as much as I can tell ya I've been there I know it doesn't help you feel better. You mentioned already being diagnosed with bipolar2 disorder and I feel I can safely assume you're taking medications to help but from my experience you can build an immunity to those meds and sometimes they need to be altered. Have you told your doctor or therapist that you're still struggling with these issues? And not to pry but have you been able to pinpoint the source that brings them on? For me, it was easy to pinpoint but not so easy to want to rehash them even though I knew it would ensure my peace of mind. It took time but finally I dealt with a lot of it. I won't lie and say that there isn't still some residue from them that at times hit me out of nowhere but I can say now that it's manageable.

I've been at the point of wanting to put my head thru a wall or even a toaster thru a cranium or two but now I know how to channel a little better.

I'm always here if you need a friend that won't judge you but please don't let it overtake you. Noone deserves to be miserable and it doesn't appear you're getting the best quality of life right now :yh_hugs

[almostfamous]

Kathy Ellen;1247661 wrote: Hey Beth:-4



I hear what you're saying. I try really hard not to give up on my friends when they're having a hard time and hope they do the same for me. I have stood by all my friends helping them through their issues, except one. I had to give up on this friend as her problems, after our 30 yr. friendship, was destroying my life. I had to let this friendship go.



But, if friends won't support you, then maybe they were never a true friend. Maybe you don't really need friends like that.



Do you feel comfortable calling your friend and asking why you weren't invited? This way you'll know and can then move on. Maybe it's a misunderstanding. It would be good to give her a chance to explain her decision before you react.



AND, I hear you when you say that it's hard for you to cause waves. All of my years growing up, I was never allowed to create 'ripples' and it's still hard for me to confront people when I'm upset. I was thinking about creating a thread about it tonight..dunno...



Keep the faith Beth...talk to her first. It might hurt to know the truth but at least you'll have closure and will be able to move on.



Good luck:-4


Thanks Kathy, You're right, I Don't need friends like that.. if there were really that good of a friend to begin with but like my friend told me last night... some people come into your life, make their mark and then you fade. She did have an impact on my life in many ways, and I do still care for her but the closeness we had just wasn't meant to be forever. I have a couple of friends that I know are lifers and that's all I need, other friends will come and go..

[almostfamous]

shelbell;1247948 wrote: I do see a psychiatrist every 3-4 weeks. It seems that I've tried just about every medication or medicine "cocktails" there is...all to no avail. I'm extremely medication resistant so I usually end up on the highest doses and they still don't help(medication for physical problems don't help either). It's a hereditary thing that affects about 10% of the population...I got it from my dad. I have to be put to sleep for any type of procedure because I can't be numbed.My medicare will cover my shrinks visits and my meds, but doesn't cover counseling....how stupid is that. I do keep trying tho...and hoping that one day, we'll find something that works. And thanks for your kind concern Pam. :-4


Ignore most of my other reply... I had not seen this one yet.

There really aren't words to express how bad I think you're situation sucks and how I wish I could reach down and find some kind of solution or path to one at least for you.

I'm such a dang hippy at heart.... I wonder if alternative medicine might be a better approach?? Acupuncture therapy, herbal supplements like Raven suggested? With the supplements though ya need to double check with your primary care first because even herbal meds can alter your prescription ones.

You're in my prayers though, sometimes that is the only thing that can change things when we just release our control (or lack thereof) of the situation into His hands and trust a better day will come. (that being said, I mean no offense if you aren't a praying person... that just fell out of my mouth as it would have with any of my friends in RL)

[almostfamous]

Ok, that's enough outta me for one evening. Good night :-3

[shelbell]

almostfamous;1247951 wrote: I hate to hear you're still going thru this and as much as I can tell ya I've been there I know it doesn't help you feel better. You mentioned already being diagnosed with bipolar2 disorder and I feel I can safely assume you're taking medications to help but from my experience you can build an immunity to those meds and sometimes they need to be altered. Have you told your doctor or therapist that you're still struggling with these issues? And not to pry but have you been able to pinpoint the source that brings them on? For me, it was easy to pinpoint but not so easy to want to rehash them even though I knew it would ensure my peace of mind. It took time but finally I dealt with a lot of it. I won't lie and say that there isn't still some residue from them that at times hit me out of nowhere but I can say now that it's manageable.

I've been at the point of wanting to put my head thru a wall or even a toaster thru a cranium or two but now I know how to channel a little better.

I'm always here if you need a friend that won't judge you but please don't let it overtake you. Noone deserves to be miserable and it doesn't appear you're getting the best quality of life right now :yh_hugs


It's not even building up immunity to meds, they just don't work on me. Yeah, I tell my psychiatrist about the thoughts and feelings I have...it's just one med after another. I think it's gotten worse over the past few years because of a lot of health problems, and having had 4 major surgeries in 4 1/2 years, 3 worked, but one didn't and they haven't been able to do anything else for it...no many how many treaments I've had. I know all my health problems is a huge thing for me because of all the disappointment and frustrations I've had to deal with. Then hubby dying, kid problems...and more and more. It's hard to look up when it feels like my life is just going down. Sometimes it feels easier to give up than to fight. Thanks AF! :-4

[Patsy Warnick]

Shelbell

I'm not sure what to call it either - what a emotional experience...!!!

I was 30 & my husband was 30, when he died at work of a heart attack. (1988).

I can't explain exactly what my body / system went through. Nevous Breakdown is as good of diagnosis as any.

Could be,,, Almost a out of body experience - your there but what am I doing ???

I didn't have children - I remember sleeping alot and widdled down to 108 pounds.

Interesting how the body will protect itself. I just had to sleep because my therapy was being able to see my husband in my dreams..

I stoppped completely all the MEDS - no anti-depressants for me.. I found they put me further under..

I'm sorry for your friends oversight on the invite - she's afraid & wants her gathering to be perfect - acceptable from a good friend, probably not. Hurtful yes!!

Don't call her - she obviously has her reasons and you little Miss can rise above her attitude....

You have children - is there any one available to take them for a week or so, so you can sleep & dream - let your body heal..???

you need your own time before you can comfort others & deal with others..

I do know all your emotions & the mourning steps your going thru

If you wish to talk - please feel free to open up - I hope I can shine some light in your path...

I've been worried about you since Flop posted her thread & gave us notice of the tragedy you & your family have to face.

Mourning a mate is a tough path especially at a young age

Please reach out & as you can tell - your loved here on FG

I'll be praying for you

Patsy

[shelbell]

almostfamous;1247959 wrote: Ignore most of my other reply... I had not seen this one yet.

There really aren't words to express how bad I think you're situation sucks and how I wish I could reach down and find some kind of solution or path to one at least for you.

I'm such a dang hippy at heart.... I wonder if alternative medicine might be a better approach?? Acupuncture therapy, herbal supplements like Raven suggested? With the supplements though ya need to double check with your primary care first because even herbal meds can alter your prescription ones.

You're in my prayers though, sometimes that is the only thing that can change things when we just release our control (or lack thereof) of the situation into His hands and trust a better day will come. (that being said, I mean no offense if you aren't a praying person... that just fell out of my mouth as it would have with any of my friends in RL)


I think your last paragraph is the most important. I get so wrapped up in everything going on, and I try to take it all on myself. It's so easy to forget the main thing in trying to deal with so much turmoil...."let go and let God". I need to spend more time praying and less time feeling for myself. Sometimes I just need reminders like this. Thank you Beth. :-4

[shelbell]

almostfamous;1247937 wrote: As Rob would say, I knew you'd figure it out if you argued with yourself about it enough :rolleyes:


I love this! :wah:

[shelbell]

Thanks Patsy...wow, 30 yr old dying of a heart attack...kind of puts life in perspective. I do have kids, but the youngest is 17 so I don't have to worry about finding places for her to go, she does that by herself. :wah:

I don't think it's possible to explain our emotions you're right tho when you say it's like an out of body experience...it's surreal...it's not supposed to happen to us, it only happens to other people. It's really heartbreaking when my oldest grandson sees a picture and points "there's grandpa". He's not quite 5, but he'll only remember him in pictures and they were best buddies.

I try to find him when I sleep, but I haven't dreamt about him since shortly after he died...I guess my subconscious is still protecting me, even tho I wish I could see him in my dreams, I miss his face so much. I sure do sleep a lot tho and probably would never get out of bed if it weren't for my dogs and my turtles needing me.

Thanks for reaching out widow to widow to me. We did have 18 years together, but it wasn't nearly enough, but I'm still only 45. But you being widowed at 30, I'm sure you understand exactly what I mean...we could have had 50 years and it still wouldn't have been enough.

Thanks again Patsy.:-4

[shelbell]

Beth, I'm so sorry, it seems like I've stolen your thread...I really had no intention of it. Thanks for letting me be a part of it. :-4

[almostfamous]

shelbell;1247981 wrote: Beth, I'm so sorry, it seems like I've stolen your thread...I really had no intention of it. Thanks for letting me be a part of it. :-4


Honey, you have NOTHING to apologize for. I'm glad this has been a place for you to reach out too :yh_hugs:yh_hugs:yh_hugs

[shelbell]

almostfamous;1248097 wrote: Honey, you have NOTHING to apologize for. I'm glad this has been a place for you to reach out too :yh_hugs:yh_hugs:yh_hugs


Thanks so much hun...some of this has really helped me feel not so alone. :-4

[Nomad]

Im usually about 3 seconds away from a complete meltdown at any given moment. Well, only unless there are people around. I havent found a way to completely isolate myself yet but Im working on that.

I try keeping it together but if I feel like Ive been shitty to someone its important for me to go back soon afterwards and give them a hug, apologize and talk through it to settle things up. If you went way off the deep end perhaps you need to do some more damage control.

When a person gets kooky it can be pretty freaky for others. Everyones different.

See I took you for a total whackjob from the get go so you would have a hard time turning me upside down.

If your going to get your freak on maybe you could try acclimating people to "almostfamous world" That way they can brace themselves for your kooky self and expect some craziness once in awhile. In a nutshell if youre going to be loopy I think its important to really dive into the role. Lower peoples expectations.

Jump right in by making a statement. For Halloween you could drive a meat cleaver into the pumpkin you put out. Over night you'll be referred to as crazy meat cleaver lady.

I hope thats useful information for you.

As far as the wedding call your friend and discuss it.

You may or may not get what you want but sincerity is usually a welcome thing for most people.

On a footnote I personally have never met anyone who after getting to know them didnt come to realize theyre whack jobs too so have some fun with it.

[almostfamous]

Nomad;1248178 wrote: Im usually about 3 seconds away from a complete meltdown at any given moment. Well, only unless there are people around. I havent found a way to completely isolate myself yet but Im working on that.

I try keeping it together but if I feel like Ive been shitty to someone its important for me to go back soon afterwards and give them a hug, apologize and talk through it to settle things up. If you went way off the deep end perhaps you need to do some more damage control.

When a person gets kooky it can be pretty freaky for others. Everyones different.

See I took you for a total whackjob from the get go so you would have a hard time turning me upside down.

If your going to get your freak on maybe you could try acclimating people to "almostfamous world" That way they can brace themselves for your kooky self and expect some craziness once in awhile. In a nutshell if youre going to be loopy I think its important to really dive into the role. Lower peoples expectations.

Jump right in by making a statement. For Halloween you could drive a meat cleaver into the pumpkin you put out. Over night you'll be referred to as crazy meat cleaver lady.

I hope thats useful information for you.

As far as the wedding call your friend and discuss it.

You may or may not get what you want but sincerity is usually a welcome thing for most people.

On a footnote I personally have never met anyone who after getting to know them didnt come to realize theyre whack jobs too so have some fun with it.


Good lord nomie I love your sillyass... see they all knew I was a whackjob to begin with but even I caught them off guard.... Jumping out of a car at 50ish mph in the middle of a busy street can freak anybody out. I, of course, don't personally remember what was going thru my mind to do it but remember walking down the sidewalk afterwards :rolleyes: It was a rough time indeed but roughest on me. I've decided I've said all I can say or desire to say to them about it and it's their loss.

My neighbors may hate you for the meat cleaver idea though... of course I'm gonna have to do that now that you've embedded it into my almostloopy mind :rolleyes:

[Patsy Warnick]

LOVE the MEAT CLEAVER idea -:yh_rotfl that's a must do Shelbell...!!

Give out pimple cream instead of candy :yh_rotfl

And jumping into this personality of being a "Crazy Lady " you could

work out alot of frustations. could be a real good thing.

Hug yourself Shel - this friends wedding thing - it's not so much she thinks your Crazy - inviting a young widow to a fun festive ceremony/occasion

well honey, that is putting a little glume in the air

and really - do you really want to be around all those people right now???

do you want them to give condolences at a wedding? do you want to hear they're sorry & & ..??

If this occasion is very important to you - you could always slip in the ceremony alittle late, sign the guest book, sit in the back, take your pics, smile alittle,

and avoid the reception, so then you can avoid the glume of condolences...

Your friend (what ever her reason was) is actually doing you a favor without the invite. you know you'll cry & you'll being remembering your wedding and everything will errupt inside you...

do you need it..??

Get the Cleaver

Love Ya

Patsy

[shelbell]

almostfamous;1248204 wrote: Good lord nomie I love your sillyass... see they all knew I was a whackjob to begin with but even I caught them off guard.... Jumping out of a car at 50ish mph in the middle of a busy street can freak anybody out. I, of course, don't personally remember what was going thru my mind to do it but remember walking down the sidewalk afterwards :rolleyes: It was a rough time indeed but roughest on me. I've decided I've said all I can say or desire to say to them about it and it's their loss.

My neighbors may hate you for the meat cleaver idea though... of course I'm gonna have to do that now that you've embedded it into my almostloopy mind :rolleyes:


Jumping out of a car doing 50ish? How'd you live to walk down the sidewalk afterwards? I'm glad to see you've made a decision on your dilema, it's their loss to not have such a sweet lady there! :-4

[shelbell]

Patsy Warnick;1248238 wrote: LOVE the MEAT CLEAVER idea -:yh_rotfl that's a must do Shelbell...!!

Give out pimple cream instead of candy :yh_rotfl

And jumping into this personality of being a "Crazy Lady " you could

work out alot of frustations. could be a real good thing.

Hug yourself Shel - this friends wedding thing - it's not so much she thinks your Crazy - inviting a young widow to a fun festive ceremony/occasion

well honey, that is putting a little glume in the air

and really - do you really want to be around all those people right now???

do you want them to give condolences at a wedding? do you want to hear they're sorry & & ..??

If this occasion is very important to you - you could always slip in the ceremony alittle late, sign the guest book, sit in the back, take your pics, smile alittle,

and avoid the reception, so then you can avoid the glume of condolences...

Your friend (what ever her reason was) is actually doing you a favor without the invite. you know you'll cry & you'll being remembering your wedding and everything will errupt inside you...

do you need it..??

Get the Cleaver

Love Ya

Patsy


I love the cleaver idea, but I don't know how smart it is on Holloween...just one nut job could grab it, knock on my door, and cleave me to death! :yh_rotfl

[Nomad]

almostfamous;1248204 wrote: Good lord nomie I love your sillyass... see they all knew I was a whackjob to begin with but even I caught them off guard.... Jumping out of a car at 50ish mph in the middle of a busy street can freak anybody out. I, of course, don't personally remember what was going thru my mind to do it but remember walking down the sidewalk afterwards :rolleyes: It was a rough time indeed but roughest on me. I've decided I've said all I can say or desire to say to them about it and it's their loss.



My neighbors may hate you for the meat cleaver idea though... of course I'm gonna have to do that now that you've embedded it into my almostloopy mind :rolleyes:


Thats pretty severe. Very scary for anyone jumping out of a car. There was a guy in Florida that did that. He was a suspect in the Florida State decapitating killings until they found Danny Rolling.

So whether you recall the incident or not your left with leaving an incredibly dramatic impression on people. I can understand your friends omission. It could detract from her wedding day and its about her on that day. Shes probably protecting that. If you can get outside of your feelings of being hurt you might find that understandable.

Genuine offer here...if your feeling nutty or like your going over the edge you can talk to me. Ive found a couple of ways of bringing peace to myself that are very effective. Id be happy to share them with you. As a drunk for more than 20 yrs. Ive put myself and others through the ringer on more than one occassion. Theres a better way than suffering and you should know that you can have love and peace in your life. Its yours for the asking.

[Raven]

almostfamous;1247940 wrote: You're absolutely right about the relationships that I feel (and some that I gave up on years ago) needed mending.... a friend of mine told me yesterday.... 'Bethany, you didn't lose them, they lost you... they have no idea the person you've become having gone thru that'.... and he's damn right. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, I am a better person now. My road to recovery was anything but easy and I still made mistakes that were detrimental to my health but in the end I came out with a better, humbler perspective on life.



I think I'll slap myself on the ass now :wah: jk but you're also right about who I surround myself with. Unfortunately, and as much as I love my parents, they don't always tend to be the healthiest pair to be around but when options are well, nonexistent, you appreciate what you have and hope for sanity as soon as it is affordable.



And another point you made was forgiving myself.... that was my biggest struggle and may very well be something that is still holding me back. I just wish the few days that I have no personal recollection of would just magically appear! Only then do I feel I would have the closure I need to move on :/
It's not closure you need. Thats a myth. You need good friends who are willing to take you as you are! You cant move forwards by looking back. EVERYONE makes mistakes! (except maybe Jesus, and look what happened to Him!)

As for parents,....well lets just say my mother is so shallow, if she was a puddle, you wouldnt get your feet wet walking thru her!

My brother is good to talk to though.

Point is...family are usually rubbish when it comes to the people they love best. What you need is someone who is totally outside the situation. Thats when you get the best advice. x

[almostfamous]

Nomad;1248311 wrote: Thats pretty severe. Very scary for anyone jumping out of a car. There was a guy in Florida that did that. He was a suspect in the Florida State decapitating killings until they found Danny Rolling.

So whether you recall the incident or not your left with leaving an incredibly dramatic impression on people. I can understand your friends omission. It could detract from her wedding day and its about her on that day. Shes probably protecting that. If you can get outside of your feelings of being hurt you might find that understandable.

Genuine offer here...if your feeling nutty or like your going over the edge you can talk to me. Ive found a couple of ways of bringing peace to myself that are very effective. Id be happy to share them with you. As a drunk for more than 20 yrs. Ive put myself and others through the ringer on more than one occassion. Theres a better way than suffering and you should know that you can have love and peace in your life. Its yours for the asking.


Yeah, I know that "stunt" was traumatizing and although I don't know what I thought I would accomplish by jumping out of the car I can only imagine it was because I felt like the situation was not being taken seriously merely because I was not physically harmed... one piece of the story that I just realized I failed to mention (and I'm not making excuses here, but...) was that I am about 99.9% sure I was drugged the night before said incident. That day that I was in the car with them I had been begging to be taken to a medical facility to be tested before the drugs could leave my system. I had already gone to a hospital and was told they didn't have the proper "kits" to test for said drug(s). I didn't feel like my situation was being taken seriously due to the fact that before finally arriving at a medical testing place I was drug around Memphis so that 2 friends that were in the car could pay rent, pick up something from a boutique (yadayada).... I would have taken my damn self if I'd known I'd be last priority of the day. Mind you, this day of mania started early that morning (I had been up all night) when I told my "friends" what I felt had happened to me and I didn't get to the testing facility until 7 that night.

I know I was drugged because after one gin and tonic and a vodka shot I felt like I had concrete around my feet, felt like I had 10 or more alcoholic beverages and I had a flashback of sorts of something that had happened to me in 99 that I had totally suppressed. I kept consciousness and made it home safely but then was unable to sleep (I felt like I was on some type of speed). This whole situation was really fkd up to say the least, and even though I'm able to find it in me to move on, the whole wedding ordeal was just a reminder of what I went through and how I was treated after. I'm just done with them. I have to be. I was jaded in the volume of our friendship and should never have let it bother to me begin with even after what seems to have been a phony reconciliation. Some people are just inconsiderate and self-centered and who the hell needs em.

I appreciate the offer Nomie, you know I do and one day I may have to take ya up on it. Thankfully, that has been the only episode where I completely lost my sh1t and I survived it. I came out of it a changed person, bitter? at times yes, enlightened? even more so. As for having love and peace in my life.... Love can bite me and I don't mean the love bug, that part of me is just temporarily out of service and peace can come any day, I'd welcome it but I'm getting sort of numb to the everyday wtf's that seem to occur. Once I feel I'm gaining peace, I have a day like yesterday and find out my grandmother has less than 2 months to live after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. So, it is what it is and I do good to make it thru this life, peace will come when I'm dead I can only assume.

[almostfamous]

Raven;1248323 wrote: It's not closure you need. Thats a myth. You need good friends who are willing to take you as you are! You cant move forwards by looking back. EVERYONE makes mistakes! (except maybe Jesus, and look what happened to Him!)

As for parents,....well lets just say my mother is so shallow, if she was a puddle, you wouldnt get your feet wet walking thru her!

My brother is good to talk to though.

Point is...family are usually rubbish when it comes to the people they love best. What you need is someone who is totally outside the situation. Thats when you get the best advice. x


You're absolutely right, no dispute here whatsoever. My best friend Becca has been my rock. Our friendship is going on 15 years strong and she is the one person that I can count on to always be there and she doesn't sugar-coat either which I respect. She tells me when I'm being an idiot and backs me when she's knows I've been wronged.

As for parents, our mothers appear to have been separated at birth and my dad and I just don't have that kind of a relationship so yeah, I know...

I have been blessed though in the past bit with a new friend that really gets me and listens to me and we've sort of bonded thru the madness that we're both experiencing. He's my 'outside of the situation' go-to person and it's refreshing.

I will say though just being able to talk about it here at times helps too. Different opinions help me look at different aspects of the situation and help me not to be so hasty at times. Not to mention some of the folks here have become a source of strength as well.

[Nomad]

Concentrate on losing the bitterness and try to not dwell on the past. Both are useless endeavors and a waste of your valuable time.

When you find yourself in that place force your thoughts elsewhere. Repetetively, over and over again until it becomes unnatural to to feel negative. Will your thoughts into what you wish. Right now your reward for negativity is more negativity. Its a horrible cycle. You cant control what others think, feel or do but you can control your thoughts.

You have a higher priority at the moment. Your child....

[almostfamous]

Nomad;1248327 wrote: Concentrate on losing the bitterness and try to not dwell on the past. Both are useless endeavors and a waste of your valuable time.

When you find yourself in that place force your thoughts elsewhere. Repetetively, over and over again until it becomes unnatural to to feel negative. Will your thoughts into what you wish. Right now your reward for negativity is more negativity. Its a horrible cycle. You cant control what others think, feel or do but you can control your thoughts.

You have a higher priority at the moment. Your child....


you're right

[Raven]

almostfamous;1248326 wrote: You're absolutely right, no dispute here whatsoever. My best friend Becca has been my rock. Our friendship is going on 15 years strong and she is the one person that I can count on to always be there and she doesn't sugar-coat either which I respect. She tells me when I'm being an idiot and backs me when she's knows I've been wronged.



As for parents, our mothers appear to have been separated at birth and my dad and I just don't have that kind of a relationship so yeah, I know...



I have been blessed though in the past bit with a new friend that really gets me and listens to me and we've sort of bonded thru the madness that we're both experiencing. He's my 'outside of the situation' go-to person and it's refreshing.



I will say though just being able to talk about it here at times helps too. Different opinions help me look at different aspects of the situation and help me not to be so hasty at times. Not to mention some of the folks here have become a source of strength as well.
Yeah, this is a good forum for that! Alot of us have actually met. Makes it even more fun on the boards. We come from all walks and cover just about all age groups! So all problems are sorted! x

[Nomad]

She tells me when I'm being an idiot


If thats all it takes to be your friend, this is right up my alley.

Sign me up.

[AussiePam]

((((((((((((((( AlmostFamous )))))))))))))))))

[Nexusone]

A nervous breakdown is not a clinical term, but can apply to many different situations in which someone begins to exhibit symptoms of different mental illnesses, or heavy emotional stress. A symptom of one of the psychiatric diagnoses listed above, includes some sort of disintegration of personality – usually temporary.

[fuzzywuzzy]

Almost, I to had a nervous breakdown after an extremely long court case in which I was the main wittness ...took two years I think. Afterwards I seperated myself from all family and friends and tried to top myself. Spent a month in a psychiatric unit ...gosh it seems a lifetime away now . It's over 18 years ago. Recently I had the horror of the whole situation rearing it's ugly head again I thought that I may react (pstd) in the same way ....I didn't . I actually took affirmative action and stood up for those who didn't realise the consequences of my actions way back then.

In everyones life, at least once, we, through no fault of our own, make choices or are forced into situations that may break us for a little while ...but it's only temperary and as weird as it sounds you do actually get over it . Sometimes others can't see through the wall of "what is normal " and will never understand but I assure you, one day they will. We all have our day.

It's not about what others understand about you , It's all about you understanding someone else .

Do not be apologetic about what you went through ........Life has given you a wisdom, be thankful and chalk it up to "been there, done that, I get it" ....not many do. Wisdom doesn't come with age like many think ....wisdom is earned and that's why it is highly prized. You've identified a lack of wisdom in someone else. That's okay. Feel all the feelings that it brings with it. It's what makes our lives rich and what makes us discover strengths about ourselves.

:-4:)