Can Long Distance Relationships Survive?

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 5:54 am

A long-distance relationship or LDR is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance. Before the popularity of internet dating, long-distance relationships were not as common but were certainly in existence and were a successful way of keeping a relationship flourishing over distance. But weâ€™ve come a long way from the time that the only communication between long distance lovers was telephone or corresponding via mail. With the help of the Internet, long distance relationships have exploded in popularity as they become easier to sustain with the use of modern technology. Technologies including cell phones, e-mail , online chatting and web cams have made it possible to keep in touch.

In your opinion, do long distance or LDR relationships have a survival rate? Are they "real" relationships?

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:11 am

Yes I saw this question on Wikipedia and made me think about it at the time.I know of a few people that have left the country they live in to join a person they have met online.....Someone I know of not so long left England to go and meet a fella she had "met" online....he lives in the USA and now she does also and they married......incredible thing the Internet.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:17 am

LDR? They have abbreviations for everything now donâ€™t they?

My answerâ€¦. I donâ€™t know.

I think that it is possible to have a LDR, but eventually you need to be together. I would say yes, but I think it would be time limited. Modern communications still does not replace physical interaction.

Post by **spot** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:28 am

mikeinie;1259384 wrote: Modern communications still does not replace physical interaction.There are devices, you know.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:44 am

spot;1259388 wrote: There are devices, you know.

Tell me more.... :sneaky:

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 6:44 am

Here is my opinion:

Distance relationships like traditional relationships are built and sustained on trust. When you enter a LDR, you have to do it in good faith because thatâ€™s all you will have to keep you sane when your lover is so far away. If you start on the wrong track, it will only lead to self-doubt, suspicion and your romance will be sabotaged before you even know it. Keep in mind that feelings are your only comfort when your object of desire is miles away from your arms. Lacking physical proximity with your loved one can be devastating to your attitude towards your relationship. Thatâ€™s why you need to invest in trust, honesty and communication from the beginning. This is the only way you will be able to be comforted in your choice and to enter in a long distance romance.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:55 am

spot;1259388 wrote: There are devices, you know.
Do they involve a Burger King hat?

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 10:46 am

YZGI;1259485 wrote: Do they involve a Burger King hat?

I think it's more like a Jack-In- The-Box! :yh_rotfl

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:11 am

I've been in a LDR before. We talked daily/nightly on the computer and quite a bit on the phone for many, many months. I drove 8hours, across 3 states to meet him, twice. He was everything I thought he was, no lies, no deceptions...he was one of the most wonderful men I had ever met. I spent 2 weeks there each trip. The problem we ran across was that he had fallen in love with me, but I didn't feel that "click", then he started looking for work around where I lived and I had to tell him no.

I'm not sure a LDR can work for people that have never actually met...maybe if they met before the seperation there may be a better chance.

And yes, I know how lucky I am that he ended up being such a great guy, and not one of the many freaks that lurk around just looking for a target. I'll never do that again.

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:29 am

My opinion of the negative side of a LDR relationship:

Each partner's view of distance may affect how the couple copes with the separation. If one is accustomed to absence in their family life, they may feel that the distance in the relationship is not a big concern. If one partner has had an experience in which someone in their life left and said they'd return, but never did return, that partner may see the long distance relationship as the beginning of the end. If it is one partner's nature to look in the long term, they may see the long distance relationship as only temporary. On the other hand, if one partner is accustomed to couples always being physically together absence may be beyond their experience.

Many individuals end up losing feeling for their significant other, because it is of human nature to have to feel physical, emotional, and sexual intimacy. While a meeting between the two may occur occasionally, the periods in between may create a sense of loss and induce several negative emotions, such as a feeling of loss, depression, and sexual frustration. A common vice is for one or both of the individuals to meet and become intimately involved with someone much closer to them geographically but would typically mean the long distance relationship is over and they are moving on.

nok · Post by **nok** » Sun Dec 06, 2009 2:57 am

Yes, long distance relationships can, and do, survive. Me and my ex-fiance ( he died) had a five year long distance relationship before deciding to get engaged. We kept in touch via long distance calls, internet chats, snail mail, e-mails, etc.

Also, he would come to visit me once a year and stay for about a month.

Jazzy · Post by **Jazzy** » Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:49 am

nok;1270297 wrote: Yes, long distance relationships can, and do, survive. Me and my ex-fiance ( he died) had a five year long distance relationship before deciding to get engaged. We kept in touch via long distance calls, internet chats, snail mail, e-mails, etc.

Also, he would come to visit me once a year and stay for about a month.

Thank you for sharing and I'm so sorry to hear that your ex-fiance passed away. That's a long time to be in a LDR and again, sorry for your loss.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Sun Dec 06, 2009 8:36 am

nok;1270297 wrote: Yes, long distance relationships can, and do, survive. Me and my ex-fiance ( he died) had a five year long distance relationship before deciding to get engaged. We kept in touch via long distance calls, internet chats, snail mail, e-mails, etc.

Also, he would come to visit me once a year and stay for about a month.

God bless Larry Nok.:yh_hugs

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Sun Dec 06, 2009 4:50 pm

nok;1270297 wrote: Yes, long distance relationships can, and do, survive. Me and my ex-fiance ( he died) had a five year long distance relationship before deciding to get engaged. We kept in touch via long distance calls, internet chats, snail mail, e-mails, etc.

Also, he would come to visit me once a year and stay for about a month.

Here's a good thought nok...since me and you are friends, I wonder if Grant and Larry have met and are looking down on us together. :-4:-4

nok · Post by **nok** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 12:08 am

Jazzy, Thank you for your kind comments

Odie, Thank you for the reply.

Larry did indeed love God very much and prayed all the time.

Shel, What a lovely thought :-4 I think it is a real possibility.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 6:54 am

nok;1270607 wrote: jazzy, thank you for your kind comments

odie, thank you for the reply.

larry did indeed love god very much and prayed all the time.

Shel, what a lovely thought :-4 i think it is a real possibility.

:-4

shelbell · Post by **shelbell** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:26 pm

nok;1270607 wrote: jazzy, thank you for your kind comments

odie, thank you for the reply.

larry did indeed love god very much and prayed all the time.

Shel, what a lovely thought :-4 i think it is a real possibility.

:-4:-6:-4

Saint_ · Post by **Saint_** » Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:35 pm

Jazzy;1259379 wrote:

In your opinion, do long distance or LDR relationships have a survival rate? Are they "real" relationships?

Well, based solely on my experience, I have to say ... no.

Now, I'll categorize that by saying "permanent" long distance relationships have no chance. But "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is absolutely true. When I went away to boot camp (actually it's called "Field Training Camp" in the Air Force) my girl and I wrote letter almost every single day and we almost had mutual heart attacks when we finally reunited!:D

But every other time, when we both knew there was little chance of ever seeing each other again? Nope.