Internet infidelity

[weelynnie]

I really don't know where to start with this one. My husband of 23 years joined a digital photography forum about a month ago and everything was fine until last week. I should have seen the signs. He started asking about how far behind us (we live in Europe) the Eastern Coast of America was. Then how far from Atlanta (where we have friends) Louisianna is. Then, how could he use AIM? But, idiot that I am, I never twigged. Then 3 nights ago, using Windows Live Mail, I inadvertently clicked on Sync all e-mail addresses, to discover he was having an Internet affair with a woman that he had never met. I'm going to append all that I have been able to glean. When affronted, he said it was only a joke, but he doesn't realise how much I know, eg, I have seen a lot of his e-mail posts and have communicated with his 'lady' to tell her to back off. Having seen her e-mails, she ain't backing off, but what do I do? I love him and don't want to lose him. Why does he need this other women?

From: Brenda

Sent: Saturday, April 17, 2010 1:49 PM

To: 'Alvar Young'

Subject: the matter

I am going to assume that you lost internet connection again. I hope you get it fixed soon. It made me think you were mad at me.

I am trying to find the comment that I had left for you, it was about love healing all that ails a person. Which for my part would be a broken. Old, lonely heart.

Sometimes I get these thoughts in my head that I’m being played, please don’t do that. Please keep in mind that I have real feelings and I just do not open my heart, body, soul and mind to anyone. I did, however, open them to you. That has not changed and if I had a problem with you Alvar, I would tell you. I’m honest and straightforward with everyone in my life.

I have to leave the house this morning, in a little while, I pray you will be back online before then, I fear I wont be back until after you go to bed. I will stay up worried about your thinking I’m upset with you.

OH, I have these random, weird thoughts, like, “what if this man is only 15 years old”, please tell me you are over the age of 20. I can handle any age difference except that. I know that sounds silly. Even sounds silly to me. Your heart knows how to romance a woman, teenagers do not know how to do that, typically. Not asking your age, just, making sure.

NO MY FEELINGS FOR YOUR HAVE NOT CHANGED.

Love you Lots and Lots,

Your Precious

Next is from my OH



Gawd how I have missed you ! My internet went down last night and could not get back to you. I waited up to 12:30 But nothing happened. Are you angry with me ? Did you think I was ignoring ypu my Lover ? NEVER EVER. I will never hurt or offend.you. I could not wait to hear from you and when I opened my mails this morning and there was nothing from you it was my turn to worry about you. PLEASE mail me when you get up and then later we can talk. My friends are leaving just after lunch (French time)

It was awful without you. I spent all evening frustrated at not speaking to you.

LOL

Your

Alvar

ps I sound like a love sick schoolboy. Forgive me.



From: Brenda

Sent: Saturday, April 17, 2010 2:27 PM

To: 'Alvar Young'

Subject: ta ta for now

I’m going to get dressed for my day. I don’t know if I will be back in time to speak to you before you have to go to bed. Don’t you go trading me in with any of those prettier girls on MSS now. I would be heart broken. Think of me as I will be thinking of you in that blue shirt and jeans today…mmmm hmmmm . I’m feeling quite in the mood today, now what am I going to do? You are in France and I am in Louisiana! What is a poor ‘lil ‘ole southern girl to do?

Do you still love me?

Love always,

Your Precious



From: Brenda

Sent: Saturday, April 17, 2010 2:17 PM

To: 'Alvar Young'

Subject: some quotes for you from me:

Your quote is back on my page. “Love cures people…both those who give it and those who receive it.”

Dear Alvar, you have cured my broken heart and lonely spirit. If but I were near you, I would show you the measure of my thankfulness and desire. The full measure. I am not a musician, I only took a couple years of band in junior high (clarinet), I adore music, my soul sings when it is played. You notice that people tend to consider a musician “good” based on their ability to play and/or sing with great “range” of the scales. If we were to ever meet, I’m certain that we would be “very good” together as I am certain that our coming together would reach the highest peaks of the scale while all the while dipping to the lowest range of the scale (not in a raunchy way now).

I’m certain we could make beautiful music together. Our beat would start out slow like in a concerto and end leaving us breathless and spent from having played so hard! Forgive me if you think I’m being crude to you. Just having an open and honest heart.

Maybe when I have more time I can share with you the desires of my heart. I would love nothing more than going on an early morning walk with you hand in hand down that little path in your photo. Then, I would let you take me somewhere for coffee, then, we could return to your house, rest…then I could tire you out.

Sorry, couldn’t help that. Please don’t be repulsed by me.

Here are some quotes for you.

I have another song for you, it really really is for YOU. I loved this song before I had ever started talking to you, its on my page, it also has a kickin’ horn part, it’s another Ray Lamontagne song “You are the best thing” Please listen and know that I think of you when I hear that song.

Your Precious,



Here are some more quotes for you:



Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart. ~Author Unknown

You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well. ~Author Unknown

Come live in my heart and pay no rent. ~Samuel Lover

I but know that I love thee, whatever thou art. ~Thomas Moore

If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I. ~Michel de Montaigne

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone. ~Javan

If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Claudia Ghandi



Frommy OH



I LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW !! Why would I be mad with you. I was worried sick that you thought I had lied to you. NEVER EVER EVER Am I getting through to you. You adorable silly little Louisiana Lady.

I AM 54 (BTW he's 70) an old man compared to you.but I could make love to you like you would never believe and to quote you on Music with ALL repeats I yearn for your beauty,your body and you heart and soul. Now does that sound like a 15 year old. Am I too old for you Precious cos if I am tell me now so that I can leave you alone. I want to think of you as mine. To love and care for you and above all never hurt you or offend you.

Are you getting all this my "Honey Chile" I was afraid to tell you how old I was but you take it from there is still enough to satisfy you(!!!) and me. I do'nt want to sound crude but I want to do EVERYTHING with you if you get my drift !!

At this given moment I would give anything to be sensously taking of your clothes and caressin and kissing you all over.

After reading this do you get the idea that I might just be in love with the most beautiful woman I have ever seen !!!!!!

Yours

Alvar.



for ever and always, a praise I have used in every card, letter or communication that I have had with him since we met. He has never used it to me.



"Precious this is a Claddagh ring

the truest sign of love.

It shows as far as others go that you are right above.

You have never said you love me

but I think you really do'

Let this little Ring be a symbol of LOVE

between just me and you. "



I wrote this myself just for you.

It was my mums and is as dear to me as you.



Have you got rid of the grin yet ? You little devil. I still want to feel your touch.



Lots and lots of love.

Your Alvar.

ps Google Claddagh ring on Wikipedia and scroll down to where it says "with this Crown "etc

Now this bit is the worst. He sent her a photo of MY Claddagh ring, (an Irish wedding ring) with this poem, slightly altered, because he had sent it to me 23 years ago - told her he had written it for her and that the ring was his mother's.



Well I totally lost it, told him to leave and that I wanted nothing else to do with him. Of course, we went through the huge apology scene and that he didn't want to lose me, but now he's not communicating directly with this woman, only indirectly by leaving little messages on their Forum about how he is looking for forgiveness. It wouldn't worry me, but he seems to think that we can just go on as normal as if nothing has happened. Can anyone tell me what they think? I'm just so sad.

Sorry it's so long. Had to get it off my chest.

[spot]

He can't do anything about it, after all. Not once he's chopped 16 years off his age. Not unless he's prepared to spend money like water.

Just tell him you've put a keyboard capture program on the computer and nothing he types will go unread. Oh, and that you're checking the itemised phone bill for foreign calls in and out.

I'd print the post and pin it on the church notice board next Sunday if I were you.

[CARLA]

:yh_rotfl I agree they both sound a bit pathetic to me. A bit contrived if you ask me.



[QUOTE] He can't do anything about it, after all. Not once he's chopped 16 years off his age. Not unless he's prepared to spend money like water.

Just tell him you've put a keyboard capture program on the computer and nothing he types will go unread. Oh, and that you're checking the itemised phone bill for foreign calls in and out.

I'd print the post and pin it on the church notice board next Sunday if I were you.


[/QUOTE]

[weelynnie]

Thank you both. She claims it was nothing to do with her, but I can't see how you would reply to this if you weren't interested. So basically, what you are saying is that these are two people who are living in a fantasy world. It still hurt.

[G#Gill]

It is a distinct possibility that the American woman is not what she seems. I believe she is stringing him along - there are a lot of women (as well as men) who do this on the internet. There have been so many stories like this being reported. The daft 'old' bugger should be put right about what he has got himself in to. He is obviously flattered by a younger (if she really is young!) woman's apparent attentions, and he has had a boost to his ego. Wouldn't any fella of 70 ?

I suggest that Weelynnie take him out for a nice evening meal, come back home and seduce him like mad !

[Betty Boop]

Can't see that he really planned to meet her, not after claiming he's 54 and not 70, that would be a hard one to hide! But even so it would be enough to make me annoyed and feel jealous. The hardest part is getting beyond that I guess, and then addressing what it is that is lacking between you both that he felt the need to find excitement elsewhere.

Brings up the old problem of infidelity hey, is intent enough to make someone guilty, even when so far it's just words and no action as it were. Personally, I'd have huge issues with trust again.

[weelynnie]

Betty Boop;1305069 wrote: Can't see that he really planned to meet her, not after claiming he's 54 and not 70, that would be a hard one to hide! But even so it would be enough to make me annoyed and feel jealous. The hardest part is getting beyond that I guess, and then addressing what it is that is lacking between you both that he felt the need to find excitement elsewhere.

Brings up the old problem of infidelity hey, is intent enough to make someone guilty, even when so far it's just words and no action as it were. Personally, I'd have huge issues with trust again.


That's my problem. The trust. He's gone to bed now but has just said that I have no need to 'check up' on him again. According to him, I should never have been devious in trying to find out about what he was doing. Methinks he doth protesteth too much!!

[Betty Boop]

weelynnie;1305070 wrote: That's my problem. The trust. He's gone to bed now but has just said that I have no need to 'check up' on him again. According to him, I should never have been devious in trying to find out about what he was doing. Methinks he doth protesteth too much!!


Trouble is if suspicion is aroused then you do go looking, more often than not you find something you don't like too. Given that he's been caught then obviously you are going to be checking, why should you just take his word for it, he's broken the trust and he is the one that needs to earn it again. He's either learnt his lesson or he hasn't, defensiveness from him would only make me incredibly suspicious, I'd probably be demanding he deletes his email address and leave the forum or site where they happened upon one another, but then, I'm not entirely rational or good with jealousy

[AussiePam]

You love him and don't want to lose him.

BUT he's got more to lose than you do. He's an old man and probably helpless. He needs you to cook for him, clean for him, be there for him - you come with all mod cons. Women manage quite well mostly on their own. Men usually don't. Why not just suspend cooking, cleaning, etc... and You go out on the town. Buy yourself a new dress and some swish new perfume, get your hair done, go to the local pub with some women friends, join a gym, go dancing. Flirt a bit. Send yourself some flowers.. look inscrutable.

Hubby will probably get the shock of his life.

If that doesn't work, tell him to go visit his lady friend. That'll really make him shytte himself in sheer terror.

Then YOU rewrite the household rules.

You are woman. Let's hear you ROAR!

(A girl can meet some great guys on line too... if the worst comes to the worst)

[CARLA]

I'm with AussiePam on this time to turn the table on him a bit. :-6

[weelynnie]

Ladies, you cannot believe how much you have cheered me up. I am just about to put the 'young' lady straight and tell her how old he is. It would appear that she has suffered some abuse in the past (haven't we all) and she is now finding her 'relationship' with OH difficult because he has 'hurt' her. I'll admit, when I found out about their 'friendship', I was VERY abusive to her, but then I hadn't seen his posts. I thought it was all coming from her side; I now know that he was being more affectionate than she was. I'll let you know the outcome.

[fuzzywuzzy]

According to him, I should never have been devious in trying to find out about what he was doing. Methinks he doth protesteth too much!!


Don't you just love it whe they turn it around? I agree with Pam ....show him what it would be like for you not to be around.

If you need to acquire the information you need to feel better about the situation or to put things right then go right ahead .................I'm often asked these days why I put up with certain things......well for me, the lying point blank was more hurtful than the actual betrayal. But I had to set things straight in my own mind eventually. And of course like yourself ( and I believe every other woman in this situation) you are accused of an even worse crime.

It's funny how "devious" you are being accused of being. some will call it snooping into anothers' affairs, you're his wife you can snoop as much as you want to. Then there are others that look at you because you've allowed something to go on for too long and you only have yourself to blame. Which path do you choose.

Forget about everyone elses opinions and do whats right for you . Protect your own integrity.

[LarsMac]

So, y'all believe all this happened in a month, without the two ever meeting?

What? love at first post?

[fuzzywuzzy]

lars the crap I've recieved over the net from men you have never even seen a photo of me is ridiculas.

It's almost like an extension of the playboy fantasy ...."yes she really does want you "" :rolleyes:

or

it's like being invovled in a brilliant book ...you know how you can get swept away in an awsome story? ...it's an extension of that ...it's mills and boon and you're writing it, you're putting in the bits that mills and boon left out

quite frankly it bores the crap out of me.

[Imladris]

He's behaved appallingly. This goes way beyond a bit of gentle flirting over the internet.



It doesn't really matter if he really intended going to meet her or if it was a fantasy conjured up by a sad git having his final flush of 'not lost the ol' magic yet'. In his head and in his heart he has distanced himself from you.



He's got a lot of making up to do to you, that's if you want him to - you might not. He's the one in the wrong here, don't let him make you feel guilty or that you have in some way driven him to it.



It's very juvenile drivel and sounds like it's been written by a couple of Mills and Boon rejects.



I would be inclined to find the most unflattering photo of him that really shows how old he is and send her a copy, telling her that he's packing to leave now and how easy is it to buy incontinence pads, denture fixing cream, pile cream and athletes foot treatment or should he bring some with him!



You can always hope too that this other woman is really a 32 stone bloke called Bernard looking for a bit of man love! :sneaky: That'd pizz on his bonfire a bit....

[YZGI]

He's 70 years old, knows how to use a computer and is picking up on foreign chicks. I say go get em grandpa.

[abbey]

Imladris;1305200 wrote:



I would be inclined to find the most unflattering photo of him that really shows how old he is and send her a copy, telling her that he's packing to leave now and how easy is it to buy incontinence pads, denture fixing cream, pile cream and athletes foot treatment or should he bring some with him!



You can always hope too that this other woman is really a 32 stone bloke called Bernard looking for a bit of man love! :sneaky: That'd pizz on his bonfire a bit....
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

[G#Gill]

YZGI;1305231 wrote: He's 70 years old, knows how to use a computer and is picking up on foreign chicks. I say go get em grandpa.


You would !!!!! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

[weelynnie]

Well, I e-mailed her, apologised for being a bitch and got back a really nice e-mail saying that I shouldn't monitor my OH's e-mails nor check his websites (she said she was saying this to help me avoid getting upset). Well I'm still doing it and he is desperately trying to get her back talking to him. This is after PROMISING me that he would have nothing more to do with her. He has apologised to her several times and left pleading little messages for forgiveness. To me he has apologised once, tearfully, and then has acted as if nothing has ever happened. I'm trying to make him happy (if you know what I mean), but I get the impression that his mind is constantly on her. Now, having read her e-mail to me, I think she had no part in the start of this. This was a lonely, unhappy, depressed woman who was pursued by a man who thinks he is God's gift to women and fell under his spell. And just for your delectation, I've put together their last communications as follows:-

Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010 19:18:28 +0000

> > > From: Alvar

> > > To: Gailie

> > >

> > > This is the start of a battle to regain your heart. Think about it if you get a chance when you are away.

"

She’s off on holiday.

From: Gailie

> > To: Alvar

> >

> > I don't know what to tell you Alvar. That won't be nearly as easy as you might think. There is an old saying that applies here:

> >

> > Fool me once, shame on you;

> > Fool me twice, shame on ME

> >

> > I am perplexed with this entire thing.

> >

> > There is another saying:

> >

> > The truth shall set you free...you MUST begin your battle with the truth!



Seems she realises how many lies he’s been telling.

 Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2010 19:58:44 +0000

> From: Alvar

> To: Gailie

>

> Do you want me to try ? Yes you will get the whole truth and nothing but the truth but as I said are you still interested. Please reply as quick as possible.

Because she is going on holiday and he will spend the next 2 weeks on tenterhooks.

Subject: You.

I would say you are a grown man, do what makes you happy. I guess you'll never know unless you do.



SHE IS BACKING OFF, ISN’T SHE? Please tell me I’m right. I think she realises that she’s been conned by a very convincing conman.

[weeder]

They sound like two ridiculous morons. And HE better watch out for HER.

Trouble, trouble, trouble. Maybe you should plan a trip over here.as an adventure. Or.........Ill house swap with you. Give me a couple of weeks with

silly man. He will be very glad when you come home.

[weelynnie]

weeder;1305276 wrote: They sound like two ridiculous morons. And HE better watch out for HER.

Trouble, trouble, trouble. Maybe you should plan a trip over here.as an adventure. Or.........Ill house swap with you. Give me a couple of weeks with

silly man. He will be very glad when you come home.


Thanks weeder. You are very welcome to try and live with this man for a couple of days never mind a couple of weeks.

This Forum really cheers me up. Many of you on this thread have made me laugh out loud.:yh_rotfl Thanks you lot.

[G#Gill]

Weelynnie, it will do the silly sod good to fret while she is on holiday. It makes me wonder if he's done this before - flirting on the internet and letting it get out of hand.

Best of luck, and I hope your daft spouse pulls himself together. I won't say 'grows up', cos he's supposed to be there long since ! :wah: I think he's just wishing he was a younger man again, and trying to act out the wish! :rolleyes:

[weelynnie]

Gill, he is soooo Internet unsavvy that the chance of him talking to others, OFF the grid is unreasonable. I'm going to leave you now for tonight. Thank you all - you've been a huge help. BTW he ain't getting any tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[G#Gill]

In his dreams eh? :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

[weelynnie]

Yeah right!

[CARLA]

:yh_rotfl Amen to that Weeder my feelings exactly.





[QUOTE]

They sound like two ridiculous morons. And HE better watch out for HER.

Trouble, trouble, trouble. Maybe you should plan a trip over here.as an adventure. Or.........Ill house swap with you. Give me a couple of weeks with

silly man. He will be very glad when you come home





This is probably true but in most cases the only old men that can get that wish and the young women are in most cases very, very rich.

[QUOTE] G#GILL said: I think he's just wishing he was a younger man again, and trying to act out the wish! [/QUOTE]

[fuzzywuzzy]

Imladris;1305200 wrote: He's behaved appallingly. This goes way beyond a bit of gentle flirting over the internet.



It doesn't really matter if he really intended going to meet her or if it was a fantasy conjured up by a sad git having his final flush of 'not lost the ol' magic yet'. In his head and in his heart he has distanced himself from you.



He's got a lot of making up to do to you, that's if you want him to - you might not. He's the one in the wrong here, don't let him make you feel guilty or that you have in some way driven him to it.



It's very juvenile drivel and sounds like it's been written by a couple of Mills and Boon rejects.



I would be inclined to find the most unflattering photo of him that really shows how old he is and send her a copy, telling her that he's packing to leave now and how easy is it to buy incontinence pads, denture fixing cream, pile cream and athletes foot treatment or should he bring some with him!



You can always hope too that this other woman is really a 32 stone bloke called Bernard looking for a bit of man love! :sneaky: That'd pizz on his bonfire a bit....


I love that post!!!!!!

[buttercup]

If the p.c is not something you use or need why not just accidentally on purpose spill a cup of coffee into the tower :sneaky:

[weelynnie]

buttercup;1305425 wrote: If the p.c is not something you use or need why not just accidentally on purpose spill a cup of coffee into the tower :sneaky:


:yh_rotfl Unfortunately we both have our own laptops, but I'll bear it in mind. I suppose something could be arranged.

[G#Gill]

I hope that you need to know your password to get into your account, and does he know the password? Does he need a password to get into his account, and do you know it? If you have a password for your account, then change it. Just a thought. Would be a bit cheaper than sabotage ! :sneaky:

[weelynnie]

G#Gill;1305432 wrote: I hope that you need to know your password to get into your account, and does he know the password? Does he need a password to get into his account, and do you know it? If you have a password for your account, then change it. Just a thought.


We both have passwords and I know his and I'm sure he could guess mine, but then I have nothing to hide, so I don't care if he looks in my e-mails or my documents or anything. He now says he wants a completely private e-mail account, but as he is virtually computer-illiterate, I'd have to set it up for him and of course, would know all the details. He doesn't seem to realise this. But then, this was an idea from about 10 hours ago and he's forgotten all about it now.

[spot]

You know, trading him in for a toyboy has a lot going for it. Unless you have excuses you've not brought up... go on, list all his plus points. Without the mushy bits. All you have in the "don't" column right now is lethargy.

[weelynnie]

spot;1305464 wrote: You know, trading him in for a toyboy has a lot going for it. Unless you have excuses you've not brought up... go on, list all his plus points. Without the mushy bits. All you have in the "don't" column right now is lethargy.


Plus points -

He's an incurable romantic and he shows me that all the time. I got a red rose today.

He makes me laugh.

He's fun to be with.

He's good in the sack.

We can have long moments of companionable silence.

I 'LIKE' him.

Is that enough to be going on with?

[spot]

It doesn't really mesh well with the shenanigans, that's all.

[weelynnie]

spot;1305467 wrote: It doesn't really mesh well with the shenanigans, that's all.


Doesn't does it? I'm thinking of the male menopause, but he's a bit old for that. Having said that when does the male menopause kick in? Maybe he's having late-onset!!!

[Imladris]

He's behaved and is still behaving with total disregard for you.



Sod him, if he's not crawling on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and offering to give up the internet altogether I'd be inclined to disconnect something!



This woman isn't really helping either by still being in contact with him, she should do herself a favour and ignore him.



Good luck. :-6

[K.Snyder]

weelynnie;1305057 wrote: Thank you both. She claims it was nothing to do with her, but I can't see how you would reply to this if you weren't interested. So basically, what you are saying is that these are two people who are living in a fantasy world. It still hurt.


Honestly, the women should share absolutely none of the "blame". Your husband placed himself in that environment and is his consequence entirely.

As for "what to do?" if your husband is honestly looking for another relationship without having discussed his feelings with you as you so deserve says quite alot about his manhood.

On that, what is his humor like? Is he the type to patronize people at the expense of his own "humor"? I'd also add that when people get behind the confines of their own computers it's much easier for them to be flirtatious because they feel protected against immediate refusal.

I question the sincerity of those letters but like with anything I know to be relevant it's the atmosphere one places themselves in that tells far more than the consequences of their continued actions

[along-for-the-ride]

I know this is a serious matter, but I can't help cracking up to some of the responses here. I am truly sorry, Weelynnie, that you are going through this with you spouse. It seems to me that your husband is naive to ways of the internet, to believe all the pretty words from an unknown source. In some ways, men don't grow up, they are still small boys at heart. They like adventure, praise, and sometimes. doing something a little naughty. AussiePams advice was very good. I believe he loves you and he needs you. He's not going anywhere. Just keep reminding yourself that he's only human and he's only a man.

[Bruv]

Tom Jones once asked a female fan's husband, if he got jealous,bringing his wife to see him, the reply was "No, you pump the tyres up, and I get to ride the bike"

I would suggest you 'enjoy' the same (pumped up tyres)from your husbands fantasy relationship.

Now then........the perfect solution.

You sign up for an email account using the same name as his fancy women (or as close as you can get) He probably won't notice anyway.

Then you can email him from across your sitting room, as this 'other women' and see what happens.

[weelynnie]

Imladris;1305735 wrote: He's behaved and is still behaving with total disregard for you.



Sod him, if he's not crawling on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and offering to give up the internet altogether I'd be inclined to disconnect something!



This woman isn't really helping either by still being in contact with him, she should do herself a favour and ignore him.



Good luck. :-6


I DO have control over his Internet visits. I'm the controller of the router and when I'VE had enough I switch him off, as I am about to do right now. She's off on holiday for a week and I have told her I shall do my best to 'steal' him from her. She's more than willing. It would appear that he has hurt and deceived her - telling her things that were total lies and hurting an already hurt soul. I feel sorry for her, and we have been talking and I told her everything. He has promised to tell her everything when she comes back from her holiday. I wait with impatience.

[spot]

Meanwhile if you post your email address here the chaps on site can all send you smouldery invitations to imprudent jaunts, and you can leave them lying around for him to go pale at.

[weelynnie]

along-for-the-ride;1305739 wrote: I know this is a serious matter, but I can't help cracking up to some of the responses here. I am truly sorry, Weelynnie, that you are going through this with you spouse. It seems to me that your husband is naive to ways of the internet, to believe all the pretty words from an unknown source. In some ways, men don't grow up, they are still small boys at heart. They like adventure, praise, and sometimes. doing something a little naughty. AussiePams advice was very good. I believe he loves you and he needs you. He's not going anywhere. Just keep reminding yourself that he's only human and he's only a man.


I have to agree with you. He's naive and he believes/d he is/was in love with this woman. Circumstances have changed in the couple of days and I think I now have him RIGHT where I want him. Hopefully by the end of this week, he won't need to talk dirty with anyone else. He'll be doing enough with me.:wah: Thanks to all for your input.

weelynnie

[weelynnie]

spot;1305746 wrote: Meanwhile if you post your email address here the chaps on site can all send you smouldery invitations to imprudent jaunts, and you can leave them lying around for him to go pale at.


Love it!!!!!!!:yh_rotfl

[CARLA]

Maybe its just me but this isn't a game that you win. This is your husband internet infidelity that he took serious and doesn't seem willing to give it up.



You can do whatever you want, or think will work but in the end there is a problem here and he has it, not you. My gut is telling something isn't right with him and frankly I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him doesn't matter if he is 70... He is enjoying the tug of war that 2 women are engaged in. I would stop trying to please him and win him back, go have fun without him the old poop...

[beowulf]

my gut feeling is what is missing from your relationship that makes him look for affection/attention elsewhere, even if its on the net

just my two pennuth

*waits to be shot down in flames*

[weelynnie]

beowulf;1305781 wrote: my gut feeling is what is missing from your relationship that makes him look for affection/attention elsewhere, even if its on the net

just my two pennuth

*waits to be shot down in flames*


What was missing was that he wasn't approaching me because he is on medication,that was causing erection problems. As I said in a previous post, he is approaching me even although there are erection problems, but, at least, we are now having physical union, whereas before, there wasn't even an attempt at affection. I am soooooooooooo much happier, and I think all of you on here are to be thanked. I took what you said and placed it into my lifestyle, and it has worked. I'm just waiting with anticipation for this weekend, when SHE comes back. If he goes back to chatting with her, he's out and I'm a lonely person again.

[G#Gill]

Ah, but you did say that he was supposed to be telling her the truth when she gets back, so he'll have to be in contact with her, if only for that ?

[weelynnie]

CARLA;1305758 wrote: Maybe its just me but this isn't a game that you win. This is your husband internet infidelity that he took serious and doesn't seem willing to give it up.



You can do whatever you want, or think will work but in the end there is a problem here and he has it, not you. My gut is telling something isn't right with him and frankly I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him doesn't matter if he is 70... He is enjoying the tug of war that 2 women are engaged in. I would stop trying to please him and win him back, go have fun without him the old poop...


Carla, his problem is that he thinks he is a greater lover than he is, as do all men. Luckily we two women are no longer in a tug-of-war. In fact, I have made a huge mistake. I've been e-mailing her and having seen her on Facebook, invited her as a friend. Forgot husband is also a friend. Will now have to e-mail her and tell her to ignore my request. Am I stupid or what?

[weelynnie]

G#Gill;1305788 wrote: Ah, but you did say that he was supposed to be telling her the truth when she gets back, so he'll have to be in contact with her, if only for that ?


Which I can monitor. I'm more with her than with him.

[weelynnie]

Now,I'm just off to prove to him that he doesn't need and can't cope with another woman. It's been working for the last 2 days and I can keep it up as long as he can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!