What if you're 33, still single and have never (literally) been in a relationship?

medicinehat1 · Post by **medicinehat1** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 1:48 pm

Is that somehow "abnormal"? Does there come a point when you have missed the boat for ever, so to speak, and you might as well accept you will never find anyone and are destined to face a life alone?

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:01 pm

Oh, I would not think that is so. My cousin never fell in love and married until she was in her late 40s.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 2:05 pm

medicinehat1;1324990 wrote: Is that somehow "abnormal"? Does there come a point when you have missed the boat for ever, so to speak, and you might as well accept you will never find anyone and are destined to face a life alone?

If a relationship is truly important to you then I think it would have happened. My guess is that a relationship is not a high priority for you and there is nothing wrong with that.

Are you male or female-------------Hard to tell from your prior posts and you list no data in Profile.

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 4:36 pm

Why have you not been in a relationship?

What are your circumstances?

Provide some background.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 5:15 pm

Could you elaborate.?

It's difficult to reply.

Thank You

Patsy

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:57 pm

medicinehat1;1324990 wrote: Is that somehow "abnormal"? Does there come a point when you have missed the boat for ever, so to speak, and you might as well accept you will never find anyone and are destined to face a life alone?

You'll get what you expect to get. My only advice would be to start having some great expectations.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:02 pm

medicinehat1;1324990 wrote: Is that somehow "abnormal"? Does there come a point when you have missed the boat for ever, so to speak, and you might as well accept you will never find anyone and are destined to face a life alone?

heavens no, 33 is young.

Perhaps you should join some meet-up clubs like I did, I met a very nice man and I'm a lot older than you.

Odie · Post by **Odie** » Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:05 pm

flopstock;1325051 wrote: You'll get what you expect to get. My only advice would be to start having some great expectations.

not always, it all depends on circumstances, sometimes having great expectations can leave you devastated.

Being positive about one's self is a major key.

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:21 am

OK - Medic !!

I say your fishing since you failed to elaborate. and yes, you were on your thread & decided not to reply.

So, I'll reply as the first time I read this : Yes, I find it abnormal. no doubt about it.

and Never say Never.

I'm sorry - but to be 33 and you haven't had a relationship for 1 yr. 2 yrs .?? 6 months? weird.

Hope my imput was helpful.

Patsy

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:22 am

Depends. Are you rich? if so it does not matter how long you wait.

if however you are broke, too late, it's over. sorry

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 6:27 am

never been in a relationship? does the other person know you felt that way?

or do you mean never been in love? ......again does the other person know you felt that way .....I'm personally finding that hard to believe.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:01 am

I expect to Medic to post a link to a dating site soon for those over 30 crowd looking for love in all the wrong places. !! sorry just my hinky meter on alert.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:04 am

Lady at work here had never been in a relationship and was almost 40. After her father passed away she 'came out'. She went online and entered a relationship. That's 5 years ago and they just bought a house together. I think it's cool that she is happy, but kinda sad that for years she was miserable.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:22 am

Do you have one of those 1970's porn mustaches? I'm just sayin...

Kathy Ellen · Post by **Kathy Ellen** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:34 am

CARLA;1325106 wrote: I expect to Medic to post a link to a dating site soon for those over 30 crowd looking for love in all the wrong places. !! sorry just my hinky meter on alert.

:wah: I've been waiting for that also Carla. Guess great minds think alike:-6

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 8:33 am

After splitting from my Ex husband, I certainly was not looking for a replacement, In-fact I reveled In being able to live my life without control. I met Peter when I was not looking and he was not looking. It started off as friendship and then became serious later. We have been married for many years very happily so my advice to any-one Is just get on with your life and that Special One will come along when you very least expect It.

medicinehat1 · Post by **medicinehat1** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 4:57 pm

I haven't replied as I haven't really been on here all that long since making the original post, but here is some background.

I am 33 as said, male, and live near London, England.

I had a happy time at primary school (elementary school in the USA?) and a miserable time at secondary school where it wouldn't be far off the mark to say I was severely bullied. That's why I have a life-long hatred of anyone who tries to get their way to the top, so to speak, by intimidating and belittling other people.

The only time I felt particularly happy was in my second and third years at university, my third year being when I spent a year for my degree in France, a country that is close to my heart. The six and a half years I worked in my previous job before being made redundant are also a time when I was happier than I had been for a while as I got to know many great people who I have the utmost respect for. Now I have moved away from where I was before to my new job and essentially it's a case of starting all over again.

It is perhaps my past which has made me, by my own admission, a very closed person which plays a role in why I have never let someone into my life. Most teenagers, going back to the school period again, have their first kiss, their first fumblings, that sort of thing as a "rite of passage". I never experienced any of that. At the moment I am, through various means, being helped to see it in context in order to move on if you will, in other words to find out the "why" of it all.

I try not to give up hope and want to believe that there is a reason to be hopeful. Nonetheless, it is frustrating to find that woman after woman after woman that I speak to is already either in a relationship or married, even if people say "you can meet people through others". Furthermore, when people you know are getting married and having kids it does bring it all home to you. Maybe it's a case of that you should just live your life and you will meet someone when you least expect it (if you find yourself in the appropriate circumstances) if there is any truth to that?

Hope that makes sense - it is late here (nearly 1am) and should be heading to bed as early start tomorrow.

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:37 pm

medicinehat1;1325243 wrote: I haven't replied as I haven't really been on here all that long since making the original post, but here is some background.

I am 33 as said, male, and live near London, England.

I had a happy time at primary school (elementary school in the USA?) and a miserable time at secondary school where it wouldn't be far off the mark to say I was severely bullied. That's why I have a life-long hatred of anyone who tries to get their way to the top, so to speak, by intimidating and belittling other people.

The only time I felt particularly happy was in my second and third years at university, my third year being when I spent a year for my degree in France, a country that is close to my heart. The six and a half years I worked in my previous job before being made redundant are also a time when I was happier than I had been for a while as I got to know many great people who I have the utmost respect for. Now I have moved away from where I was before to my new job and essentially it's a case of starting all over again.

It is perhaps my past which has made me, by my own admission, a very closed person which plays a role in why I have never let someone into my life. Most teenagers, going back to the school period again, have their first kiss, their first fumblings, that sort of thing as a "rite of passage". I never experienced any of that. At the moment I am, through various means, being helped to see it in context in order to move on if you will, in other words to find out the "why" of it all.

I try not to give up hope and want to believe that there is a reason to be hopeful. Nonetheless, it is frustrating to find that woman after woman after woman that I speak to is already either in a relationship or married, even if people say "you can meet people through others". Furthermore, when people you know are getting married and having kids it does bring it all home to you. Maybe it's a case of that you should just live your life and you will meet someone when you least expect it (if you find yourself in the appropriate circumstances) if there is any truth to that?

Hope that makes sense - it is late here (nearly 1am) and should be heading to bed as early start tomorrow.

If you stop any look at the folks around you, they all have baggage they are carrying with them, just like you are.

What if you aren't the least happy person in your immediate vicinity? I went and read your other posts on the board - I like that person. That person exhibits varied interests ..... I mean seriously -sports, religion, euro/american relations, personal relationships and you aren't 20 posts into this site yet. There are folks out there that have no outside interests whatsoever. You aren't one of them.

Quit worrying you'll never get anyone. I'm an idiot and I've found someones throughout my life. I think mostly though, they've tended to find me when I'm happy with myself and my world... and that usually only happens when I'm less focused on what might be wrong with me and more focused on enjoying myself.:-6

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:09 pm

medicinehat1;1324990 wrote: Is that somehow "abnormal"? Does there come a point when you have missed the boat for ever, so to speak, and you might as well accept you will never find anyone and are destined to face a life alone?

In my life I find that the more I look and search for things the more I do not find what it is I'm looking for.

My advice is to live your life being yourself and nothing outside of that viewpoint could possibly render you unhappy. Worrying is a leading cause for gastrointestinal problems you know!

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:24 pm

Worrying is a leading cause for gastrointestinal problems you know!

Speaking of which.................back in a minute.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:25 pm

#1 You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone.

#2 Stop looking. It will find you.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Sat Jul 31, 2010 12:29 pm

flopstock;1325282 wrote:

Quit worrying you'll never get anyone. I'm an idiot and I've found someones throughout my life. I think mostly though, they've tended to find me when I'm happy with myself and my world... and that usually only happens when I'm less focused on what might be wrong with me and more focused on enjoying myself.:-6

I was told that just recently.............. the happier I am with myself the more people will be drawn to me. Weird that .