Should i be the bigger person?

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avril
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Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:41 pm

Should i be the bigger person?

Post by avril »

i have been pretty good friends with a girl ill call lily. we were high school besties but lost touch sometime after her first marriage. we recently connected on facebook and things kinda picked up where we left off. We'd make plans to hang out, but the plans never worked. every time, she would have an excuse. I took it personal and i know that she has cancelled on me at least 10 times. well the last time, we made plans, of course she cancelled like an hour before we were to go out. she claimed that she was sick. i said, ok, and that was the end of it. she never called or text me back or anything and i havent done so either. so at least3 months have gone by and there is no commnication whatsoever. my thing is this, i still love her and care for her as a friend and would like to continue our friendship. i considered contacting her to kinda clear things over, but really dont know if i should? whatcha think?
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LarsMac
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Should i be the bigger person?

Post by LarsMac »

I think you should give it up and move on.
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
-Susan Hattie Steinsapir
Patsy Warnick
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Should i be the bigger person?

Post by Patsy Warnick »

stop with the contact

If interested your "Friend" will contact you.

move on

good luck

Patsy
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AnneBoleyn
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Should i be the bigger person?

Post by AnneBoleyn »

I feel badly for you Avril. It hurts so much when feelings are not returned; it hurts so much when the other person can't at least be honest with you. Sorry. I share LarsMac's & Patsy's advice.
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along-for-the-ride
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Should i be the bigger person?

Post by along-for-the-ride »

I agree with the other posters. Just remember the good times you shared with her, and move on. She made her point, indirectly.



There were a few childhood girlfriends whose names I will never forget as well as the good times we shared long ago. I cherish those memories, but I realize that we all have moved on with our lives. I haven't seen these girls (now women) in years. One, Connie, passed away in the early 80's. One, Pat, I believe, moved to California. My first good friend, Kathy from my early years in Chicago, I chatted with on the phone in 1968 when I visited, but that was the last contact I've had with her. I do wish them well and I am glad they were part of my life for awhile.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
Vaishali
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Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2012 4:48 am

Should i be the bigger person?

Post by Vaishali »

I think you should move on in your life and leave that matter here. According to your statements, I don't think so that she is for you.
mikeinie
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 3:43 am

Should i be the bigger person?

Post by mikeinie »

You have already been the bigger person, time to back off and wait to see if she ever contacts you.
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YZGI
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Joined: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:24 am

Should i be the bigger person?

Post by YZGI »

I want to be your friend.

I'll let you know, when, where, and how, when I get the time.

Oh and by the way.... Eh maybe later..
Vaishali
Posts: 66
Joined: Mon Nov 19, 2012 4:48 am

Should i be the bigger person?

Post by Vaishali »

Avril see try to understand the situations and now its not possible and she is also prudent thats why she stop talking so move on, and never find your happiness in other try to search in yourself.
gwmac
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Joined: Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:58 pm

Should i be the bigger person?

Post by gwmac »

No one except for your friend knows what she is thinking. Is it possible she has a lot going on in her life? Perhaps job, family, stress, or even health issues? Or maybe your suspicions are correct and she just doesn't want to reconnect for whatever reason. If you really value her as a friend, maybe once in a while like on her birthday or other holidays post something on her facebook wall. Don't push it though. Maybe she will invite you out of the blue one day out to dinner. If she never replies then my advice is to to forget about her. If you simply can't let go, call and bluntly ask why she is acting like that? Perhaps it is an old grudge or a misunderstanding that could be worked out that you didn't even realize existed. It could also be something as simple as she is poor or got fat or aged poorly and is embarrassed to meet you in person.
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AnneBoleyn
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Should i be the bigger person?

Post by AnneBoleyn »

"It could also be something as simple as she is poor or got fat or aged poorly and is embarrassed to meet you in person."

Very insightful gwmac. We were all perhaps looking in the wrong direction.

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