Fighting feelings

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Pineapple
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Fighting feelings

Post by Pineapple »

When I was a kid I fell in love with an amazing guy. We were young and neighbors. I knew him long before feelings arose. We fell in love and made all these dreams of how we would get married, have kids, be together for ever. Then the inevitable happened...my parents moved to a different state. We lost contact. We didnt break up, there was no fight or anything. I didnt date because no one came close to being him. He saved me on so many occasions and didnt even know it, including me almost committing suicide once when I was 16. I was so close then I felt his arms around me and the words please dont do this I love you.

When I was 19 we ran into his mother when we came back to state. My parents asked her how everyone was and they said he had gotten married and had a son. My heart was broken but it also gave me the "right" to fall in love and get married myself. I have been married for 20 years and love my husband. It didnt stop me from thinking of my first love or even trying to find him to see how he is doing. I have told my husband about him, but not the whole truth. I told him all the games we played, the camping trips we had, stuff like that but kept that he was my first love to myself. If he asked me point blank I would tell him.

The other night I had a dream about him and took it as a sign to try to find him again. I first tried facebook. He has a common name so I looked up another family member and found him on their friends list. I sent a friend request, thinking maybe he wouldnt even remember me so wasnt expecting him to accept me...its been 27 years. Two hours later I got the notice that he accepted me. We started talking about old times. I found out hes married again and is doing pretty good. He thanked me for finding him and admitted to me that he has loved me all these years as well. One thing that was kind of shocking is that I was his first too. I had no idea!!!

The more we talk the more my heart fills with love for him. The more I want to be in his arms again. We are 1000 miles apart so its pretty much keeping these actions at bay...however if we were closer I am not sure both of us could remain faithful either. He has always had and will always have a part of my heart. I cant help but feel that someday we'll be together again but when the circumstances are much better and we are able to do it without hurting anyone.

I just feel so confused these last few days. It is the first time since I met my husband that I have felt like this. Part of me is so happy but the other part feels guilty for having these feelings. And I should clarify its just the old feelings coming up stronger than I was expecting. We promised each other we would always be in contact now that we have found each other again.

Not really sure what kind of advice I am looking for :wah: so I guess whatever advice you want to give would be great, thanks.
Patsy Warnick
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Fighting feelings

Post by Patsy Warnick »

Well,

Do you want to stay married?

And your friend is married.

Send a yearly C'Mas wish and leave your friend alone.

Timing is everything - this is not meant to be.

I'm sure your friend will always have a special place in your heart & Visa Versa

Take Care

Patsy
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jones jones
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Fighting feelings

Post by jones jones »

We all seem to remember our first love. This idiosyncrasy goes hand in glove with a desire to rewind life and become young again.

Of course this is simply a pipedream and the chances are that if and when you do meet your first love again, which if you want my advice you should avoid at all costs, the magic that was there all those years ago will be gone.

Cheating on your spouse almost always ends in an event that you later regret and fervently wish you had never started.

Cherish the memories you have of your youth, but I urge you not to attempt to rekindle whatever you had with your first love. It will not be the same and at least four earthlings will end up hurting.

You take care now and have an awesome day/evening/night!
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
Patsy Warnick
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Fighting feelings

Post by Patsy Warnick »

JJ

You always seem to put the words together better than me...

I said the same thing kinda - just in shorthand..:yh_rotfl

I'm so glad I'm not with my 1st LOVE - or 2nd...:yh_rotfl

I didn't marry until I was 26 yrs. old and that was too soon.

Patsy
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YZGI
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Fighting feelings

Post by YZGI »

I'm not with my first infatuation but I do believe I'm with my first love. Married 34 years, together 38. Got married when I was 20 and she was 18.
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jones jones
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Fighting feelings

Post by jones jones »

Patsy Warnick;1430716 wrote: JJ

You always seem to put the words together better than me...

I said the same thing kinda - just in shorthand..:yh_rotfl

I'm so glad I'm not with my 1st LOVE - or 2nd...:yh_rotfl

I didn't marry until I was 26 yrs. old and that was too soon.

Patsy


You said it well sweetheart but I just sort of embroidered your good advice!

I met my first love when she was fifteen and I nineteen ... marriage is like so last year these days ... not so?
"…I hate how I don’t feel real enough unless people are watching." — Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
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Snooz
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Fighting feelings

Post by Snooz »

I started chatting via email with my first boyfriend several years back and he was kind of an arrogant and pompous ass. Our conversations didn't last long, I don't need someone like that in my life even if it was only online.

Maybe if you get to know this guy again, you'll realize he's not the romantic figure your memory had turned him into.
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Oscar Namechange
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Fighting feelings

Post by Oscar Namechange »

My first love was at 14 years old and he worked In a butchers. I didn't care for him but we needed the meat.

my second love was a farmers boy who i didn't really care for but the potato's and carrots came In handy.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Snooz
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Fighting feelings

Post by Snooz »

Potato ho.
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Oscar Namechange
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Fighting feelings

Post by Oscar Namechange »

SnoozeAgain;1430732 wrote: Potato ho. I know... I slowly worked my way from the Butcher. There was the Baker's apprentice, the wine taster etc. Finally I went out with a Accountant but that didn't work out.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Snowfire
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Fighting feelings

Post by Snowfire »

oscar;1430739 wrote: I know... I slowly worked my way from the Butcher. There was the Baker's apprentice, the wine taster etc. Finally I went out with a Accountant but that didn't work out.


I know your sort. You'd do anything for a portion of sausage
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

Winston Churchill
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Oscar Namechange
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Fighting feelings

Post by Oscar Namechange »

Snowfire;1430740 wrote: I know your sort. You'd do anything for a portion of sausage You just reminded me about the Burger King assistant and the Big Whoppers he'd give me up the Ginnel.

There was the cheese maker before him but he grated, and the candle maker tapered off.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
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Snowfire
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Fighting feelings

Post by Snowfire »

oscar;1430744 wrote: You just reminded me about the Burger King assistant and the Big Whoppers he'd give me up the Ginnel.

There was the cheese maker before him but he grated, and the candle maker tapered off.


The girl I first knew. She was only the stableman's daughter but all the horse manure. Then there was the morse coders daughter. She didit didit didit
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

Winston Churchill
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along-for-the-ride
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Fighting feelings

Post by along-for-the-ride »



My advice......let it go.



Welcome to ForumGarden, Pineapple. Here's a welcome mat for you...........

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Oscar Namechange
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Fighting feelings

Post by Oscar Namechange »

Snowfire;1430745 wrote: The girl I first knew. She was only the stableman's daughter but all the horse manure. Then there was the morse coders daughter. She didit didit didit


I think I went out with her brother, the corn thresher... turned out he was a cereal killer
At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember them. R.L. Binyon
Pineapple
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Fighting feelings

Post by Pineapple »

Thanks for the replies from those of you who took this seriously you gave me a lot to think about.

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