i could really use some friends

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avril
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Nov 15, 2012 4:41 pm

i could really use some friends

Post by avril »

hello all!

i am a in depserate need of friends. im almost embarassed to say this, but i dont know how to make or keep friends. i like to think that i am a unique, original person. for whatever reason, i just cant seem to find friends...or even how to start.the "friends" that i do have acknowledge my existence only when they need something...until then, im nothing... i dread weekends because this means being holed up at home doing absolutely nothing... where do i start????????????

any advice would be greatly appreciated...
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Betty Boop
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Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 1:17 pm
Location: The end of the World

i could really use some friends

Post by Betty Boop »

Hi Avril, welcome to FG. :-6

Don't worry about the fact no one may answer you here too much at the moment. The forum is experiencing some major problems that affects peoples ability to see new threads and posts :(
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LarsMac
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Joined: Fri Nov 27, 2009 9:11 pm
Location: Far Out, Man

i could really use some friends

Post by LarsMac »

Start with learning to like yourself.

Spend weekends doing something you like to do. Go to the zoo, or to the museum, or just take yourself to a movie.

Relax. Don't worry so much about how many friends you have, or don't have.

Find a local charity organization that does something you like, and volunteer your free time.

You'll get comfortable with yourself, and it will show, and you'll meet people who like the same things you like.

Pretty soon, you'll be fine.

Oh, and welcome to FG
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
-Susan Hattie Steinsapir
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along-for-the-ride
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Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 4:28 pm

i could really use some friends

Post by along-for-the-ride »

They only way to have a friend is to be a friend. That takes time and shared experiences.
Life is a Highway. Let's share the Commute.
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High Threshold
Posts: 2856
Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:20 am

i could really use some friends

Post by High Threshold »

avril;1450977 wrote: ..... i dont know how to make or keep friends ...... i just cant seem to find friends...or even how to start....


I see.



avril;1450977 wrote: i dread weekends because this means being holed up at home doing absolutely nothing... .


Well. There's your biggest problem.

People don't just walk up to strangers and say, "Hi! I want to be your friend!" I know you've heard the expression "having something in common". So? What do you do besides "hole up" at home? If you do something else ... I mean REALLY do something else instead of just faking it .... then you will probably increase your chances of making friends based upon whatever it is you do.
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High Threshold
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Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:20 am

i could really use some friends

Post by High Threshold »

avril;1450977 wrote: hello all!

i am a in depserate need of friends.


That's interesting. Most of us are desperate for something - recognition for example. You know, like when we give advice or lend a hand but there is no reply of thanks or even dialog. Sort of like "advice greatly appreciated". Know what I mean?
Nemona
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2015 5:52 am

i could really use some friends

Post by Nemona »

Nobody wants to be used. If you need friends, respect them.
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FourPart
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Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2014 3:12 am

i could really use some friends

Post by FourPart »

I was recently betrayed by 2, supposed 'friends', which nearly lost me my job.

Needless to say I don't consider them as friends any more.
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High Threshold
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Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:20 am

i could really use some friends

Post by High Threshold »

FourPart;1476750 wrote: I was recently betrayed by 2, supposed 'friends', which nearly lost me my job.

Needless to say I don't consider them as friends any more.


In retrospect, don't you think it would have been wiser to consider them ex-friends the moment you realized their friendship “could feasibly” cost your job … rather than wait?
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FourPart
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i could really use some friends

Post by FourPart »

High Threshold;1476753 wrote: In retrospect, don't you think it would have been wiser to consider them ex-friends the moment you realized their friendship “could feasibly” cost your job … rather than wait?
Because it literally happened overnight.
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High Threshold
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Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:20 am

i could really use some friends

Post by High Threshold »

FourPart;1476799 wrote: Because it literally happened overnight.
That doesn't sound very good. :(
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LarsMac
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Location: Far Out, Man

i could really use some friends

Post by LarsMac »

All who smile at you are not your friends.
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
-Susan Hattie Steinsapir
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High Threshold
Posts: 2856
Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:20 am

i could really use some friends

Post by High Threshold »

LarsMac;1476802 wrote: All who smile at you are not your friends.
Don't sugar-coat it. You might give the guy the impression there's hope.
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FourPart
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i could really use some friends

Post by FourPart »

LarsMac;1476802 wrote: All who smile at you are not your friends.


Shouldn't that be "Not all who smile at you are your friends"?
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LarsMac
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Location: Far Out, Man

i could really use some friends

Post by LarsMac »

FourPart;1476829 wrote: Shouldn't that be "Not all who smile at you are your friends"?


While the general idea seems the same there are subtle differences in the meaning. But, basically, Same-same.
Control is an illusion. The Chaos is all part of the fun.
-Susan Hattie Steinsapir
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High Threshold
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Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2005 2:20 am

i could really use some friends

Post by High Threshold »

"Some of your friends can smile at you all of the time and all of your friends can smile at you some of the time but not all of your friends can smile at you all of the time."
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travelingjack
Posts: 77
Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 1:59 pm

i could really use some friends

Post by travelingjack »

i can relate, ive hate a few relationships all gone pear shaped ,im always at a loss then as i have no one , other than my mother who is 84 dont hink she would be up to doing much at weekends , cant see her climbing a mountain going canoeing going for blast on the back of a motorbike tho she would see the funny side if i asked lol even long time since i did these things , id be happy in a deck chair sharing a drink with friend and a nice day these days , im getting old lol
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Smaug
Posts: 1599
Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2015 2:44 am

i could really use some friends

Post by Smaug »

travelingjack;1482124 wrote: i can relate, ive hate a few relationships all gone pear shaped ,im always at a loss then as i have no one , other than my mother who is 84 dont hink she would be up to doing much at weekends , cant see her climbing a mountain going canoeing going for blast on the back of a motorbike tho she would see the funny side if i asked lol even long time since i did these things , id be happy in a deck chair sharing a drink with friend and a nice day these days , im getting old lol


Age is something none of us can dodge, I'm afraid, though it does have 2 consolations; Experience and greater (usually) wisdom! Apart from that, I can't see any useful point to growing older, and advise everyone to have nothing to do with it!!:wah:
" To finish first, first you have to finish!" Rick Mears. 4x Winner Indy 500. 3x Indycar National Champion.

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