cars;1110012 wrote: A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local "Hooters" Bar.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.
However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.
She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?
The bartender replied, sure "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."
"Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun.
So the bartender showed the nun to the back, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause, & cheers.
She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don' t understand. Why Did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom? "
Well, now they know you're one of us'', said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"
"No I don't drink, but I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.
"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out! Now, how about that drink?"
:wah::wah::wah::wah:
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment.
She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner" she asks,? Now softly stroking his face with both hands.
"No" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused. "He's in the back doing paperwork right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
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"Tell him" she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner" she asks,? Now softly stroking his face with both hands.
"No" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused. "He's in the back doing paperwork right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
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"Tell him" she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
Cars 
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1110139 wrote: A rather attractive woman goes up to the register in an upscale hamburger establishment.
She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner" she asks,? Now softly stroking his face with both hands.
"No" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused. "He's in the back doing paperwork right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
>
>
>
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>
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"Tell him" she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
:eek::eek: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
She gestures alluringly to a large man who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers.
When he does so, she begins to gently caress is cheek, which is slowly turning a crimson red.
"Are you the owner" she asks,? Now softly stroking his face with both hands.
"No" he replies, "I'm just the manager."
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she asks, running her hands up beyond his ears and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the manager clearly aroused. "He's in the back doing paperwork right now. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message."
She continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
>
>
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>
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"Tell him" she says, "that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."
:eek::eek: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course, on a beautiful Summer's day.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1110172 wrote: A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course, on a beautiful Summer's day.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
OMG!!!!!
:sneaky: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
OMG!!!!!
:sneaky: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotflMaybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1110172 wrote: A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course, on a beautiful Summer's day.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
jimbo;1110341 wrote: nothing makes me laugh like someone getting really stressed than having a total meltdown :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
if you dont laugh at this your name must be oscar or oddie :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
YouTube - Stress at work / Office stress COMPILATION!!!
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
if you dont laugh at this your name must be oscar or oddie :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
YouTube - Stress at work / Office stress COMPILATION!!!
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
It's so great that you guys have put on so much funny stuff!
Thank you! i haven't laughed this much in i don't know when! :yh_rotfl
keep'em coming! you know what they say, laughter in the best medicine! :-6
Thank you! i haven't laughed this much in i don't know when! :yh_rotfl
keep'em coming! you know what they say, laughter in the best medicine! :-6
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Odie;1109606 wrote: Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Oh Odie, these are terrific, you sure have it right, :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt.
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears.
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.
Oh Odie, these are terrific, you sure have it right, :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Amber Sun;1110536 wrote: Oh Odie, these are terrific, you sure have it right, :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
it's so true!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
it's so true!:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT?"
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.
She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care.
She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, OK if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.
She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care.
She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, OK if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a man from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.
..One button at a time...
..No one moves....................
..He removes his shirt................
..Muscles ripple across his chest..........
..She gasps....................................
..He whispers,.......................
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"Iron this...and then get me a beer!!!"
(PS: remember, it's only a joke!)
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die," she wails.
Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a man from Texas stands up in the rear of the plane. He is handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.
..One button at a time...
..No one moves....................
..He removes his shirt................
..Muscles ripple across his chest..........
..She gasps....................................
..He whispers,.......................
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"Iron this...and then get me a beer!!!"
(PS: remember, it's only a joke!)
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. As he knew his monsignor was out there in the audiance.
After the mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, I could see just how nervous you were. Well "When I was young & first starting out, I too worried about getting nervous on the pulpit.
So I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. And during the mass, if I started to get nervous, I'd take a "sip of vodka" and it made me mellow out."
So next Sunday the young priest took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and so he took a drink, and later on another drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door from the monsignor: I said to "sip the vodka", not to gulp it down!
Here are some corrections you need to make in your future sermons:
1) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
2)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
3)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
4) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
5) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
6)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Gostman.
7)David slew Goliath; he did not kick the crap out of him.
8)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
9) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
10) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
:p :rolleyes:
After the mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, I could see just how nervous you were. Well "When I was young & first starting out, I too worried about getting nervous on the pulpit.
So I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. And during the mass, if I started to get nervous, I'd take a "sip of vodka" and it made me mellow out."
So next Sunday the young priest took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and so he took a drink, and later on another drink. He then proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door from the monsignor: I said to "sip the vodka", not to gulp it down!
Here are some corrections you need to make in your future sermons:
1) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
2)There are 12 disciples, not 10.
3)Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
4) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
5) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
6)The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Gostman.
7)David slew Goliath; he did not kick the crap out of him.
8)When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
9) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
10) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
:p :rolleyes:Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A Blond's (sorry Blonds) car gets a flat tire on the expressway.
She eases the car over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of her car and opens the trunk.
She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the car facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coat, exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, traffic becomes snarled and backed up in no time.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde, yelling, "What the #**(^%%$# is going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer," says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road!" Asked the Officer.
She replies, "Oh those are just my emergency flashers."
__________________
Cars
She eases the car over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of her car and opens the trunk.
She then takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the car facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coat, exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, traffic becomes snarled and backed up in no time.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives. The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde, yelling, "What the #**(^%%$# is going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer," says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the heck are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road!" Asked the Officer.
She replies, "Oh those are just my emergency flashers."
__________________
Cars
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
There was a man who travelled all around the world. In every city he stopped in, he would buy something for his mother and send it to her.
On one such stop, he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. Because of that fact, it cost a small fortune, and after thinking about it, his mother was worth it.
He immediately bought the parrot and sent it home to her.
A few days later he called his mother and asked, "Did you like the parrot I sent you?"
"Oh yes," she replied. "It was absolutely delicious."
"WHAT" the man cried! "You ATE it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat, it cost me a small fortune! It spoke thirty different languages!"
The mother paused for a moment and then said,
"So why didn't he say something!!!?"
On one such stop, he found a parrot that spoke thirty different languages. Because of that fact, it cost a small fortune, and after thinking about it, his mother was worth it.
He immediately bought the parrot and sent it home to her.
A few days later he called his mother and asked, "Did you like the parrot I sent you?"
"Oh yes," she replied. "It was absolutely delicious."
"WHAT" the man cried! "You ATE it? That parrot wasn't for you to eat, it cost me a small fortune! It spoke thirty different languages!"
The mother paused for a moment and then said,
"So why didn't he say something!!!?"
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Hope6;1110094 wrote: What Men Know
Here are the top ten things that men know about women!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
:sneaky: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
LOL,.....:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Wow have you got that right:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Here are the top ten things that men know about women!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
:sneaky: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
LOL,.....:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Wow have you got that right:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1110172 wrote: A man and his friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course, on a beautiful Summer's day.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession passing on the road next to the course.
He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down & says a short prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen any one ever do. You truly are a very very kind man."
The man then replies:
Well "Yeah, you see we were married 35 years, so it's the least I could do!"
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Hope6;1110094 wrote: What Men Know
Here are the top ten things that men know about women!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
:sneaky: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
is this true or what?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Here are the top ten things that men know about women!
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
:sneaky: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
is this true or what?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Three friends decided to visit a prostitute. It was a slow night, So she gave the guys a deal. "You can pay by the inch."
When the first man comes back out his friends ask, "How much did she charge you?"
"$75 dollars," said the first.
The second guy goes in and returns with a fee of $85. The first two were proud of their prowess.
The third man goes in and returns, "How much did she charge you?" ask the first two.
"$20 dollars" replies the third.
The first two start laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied the third, "I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out instead of on the way in!"
:eek::eek::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
When the first man comes back out his friends ask, "How much did she charge you?"
"$75 dollars," said the first.
The second guy goes in and returns with a fee of $85. The first two were proud of their prowess.
The third man goes in and returns, "How much did she charge you?" ask the first two.
"$20 dollars" replies the third.
The first two start laughing hysterically.
"Hey guys," replied the third, "I'm not so stupid, I paid on the way out instead of on the way in!"
:eek::eek::yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Hope6;1110647 wrote: A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The husband says "WHAT?"
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.
She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care.
She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, OK if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl:(:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen that night and he might as well deal with it.
So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.
She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. Then they go over and get matching shoes worth $200 each. And then they go to the Jewellery Department where she gets a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she does not care.
She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis! Well, OK if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says, "I am ready to go, let's go to the cash register." The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "No honey - I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode and the husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl:(:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
five surgeons
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
# Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem? (Scott)
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
When did you first notice this problem?
What problem? (Scott)
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Odie;1111006 wrote: five surgeons
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl ... this is so darn sad and true Odie..:-1
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would."
But the fifth surgeon shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable."
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
:yh_rotfl ... this is so darn sad and true Odie..:-1
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
FG does need a good laugh.
(I was thinking the other day that maybe FG also needs its own Loony Bin. We could consign everyone who gives me the mega irrits there!!!!! Kind of like putting kids in a playpen while you get some peace and quiet. Of course, there have been times, when it's me who ended up happily out of reach in the playpen... I wonder if the FG Loony Bin does a good gin and tonic??? :sneaky:)
Um.. but I digress. Excellent one, Odie!!!
And welcome Amber Sun!!
(I was thinking the other day that maybe FG also needs its own Loony Bin. We could consign everyone who gives me the mega irrits there!!!!! Kind of like putting kids in a playpen while you get some peace and quiet. Of course, there have been times, when it's me who ended up happily out of reach in the playpen... I wonder if the FG Loony Bin does a good gin and tonic??? :sneaky:)
Um.. but I digress. Excellent one, Odie!!!
And welcome Amber Sun!!
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
AussiePam;1111028 wrote: FG does need a good laugh.
(I was thinking the other day that maybe FG also needs its own Loony Bin. We could consign everyone who gives me the mega irrits there!!!!! Kind of like putting kids in a playpen while you get some peace and quiet. Of course, there have been times, when it's me who ended up happily out of reach in the playpen... I wonder if the FG Loony Bin does a good gin and tonic??? :sneaky:)
Um.. but I digress. Excellent one, Odie!!!
And welcome Amber Sun!!
If it does,, im in:D:D
(I was thinking the other day that maybe FG also needs its own Loony Bin. We could consign everyone who gives me the mega irrits there!!!!! Kind of like putting kids in a playpen while you get some peace and quiet. Of course, there have been times, when it's me who ended up happily out of reach in the playpen... I wonder if the FG Loony Bin does a good gin and tonic??? :sneaky:)
Um.. but I digress. Excellent one, Odie!!!
And welcome Amber Sun!!
If it does,, im in:D:D
FOC THREAD PART1
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Cheers, Kaz !!!!!! :sneaky:
hic.....
hic.....
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
AussiePam;1111502 wrote: Cheers, Kaz !!!!!! :sneaky:
hic.....
oo spooky im just having a nice glass of red:D
hic.....
oo spooky im just having a nice glass of red:D
FOC THREAD PART1
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
I'd join you, Kaz - but it's only just gone 7am, and although the sun is over the yardarm somewhere... I'm really more in the market right now for a good coffee!!! Grin. Sunny Sunday here after a cold, bleak, windy almost wintry Saturday. I read the religious Ron thread, started to get the irrits again, then decided bugger all that... I'm going to the beach!!!! Have a good day!!!
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
AussiePam;1111529 wrote: I'd join you, Kaz - but it's only just gone 7am, and although the sun is over the yardarm somewhere... I'm really more in the market right now for a good coffee!!! Grin. Sunny Sunday here after a cold, bleak, windy almost wintry Saturday. I read the religious Ron thread, started to get the irrits again, then decided bugger all that... I'm going to the beach!!!! Have a good day!!!
enjoy the beach:D * kaz wanders off mumbling about people going to the beach while she is sitting there listening to the wind and rain* Ah well i have my wine:D
enjoy the beach:D * kaz wanders off mumbling about people going to the beach while she is sitting there listening to the wind and rain* Ah well i have my wine:D
FOC THREAD PART1
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
We are always having a laugh us lot fgs:D:guitarist:guitarist
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Carolly;1111538 wrote: We are always having a laugh us lot fgs:D:guitarist:guitarist
yer avin a laugh intcha:-2:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
yer avin a laugh intcha:-2:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
FOC THREAD PART1
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Thanks for that reminder, Carolly. I really do gotta give up banging my head deliberately against brick walls. It's like you know which foods you are allergic to, but you still sometimes eat them. One new year's resolution was to be a lot more careful with my diet... and I better have my coffee NOW or I might drown in this metaphor... :yh_rotfl
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Carolly;1111538 wrote: We are always having a laugh us lot fgs:D:guitarist:guitarist
ain't life here grand?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
ain't life here grand?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
AussiePam;1111571 wrote: Thanks for that reminder, Carolly. I really do gotta give up banging my head deliberately against brick walls. It's like you know which foods you are allergic to, but you still sometimes eat them. One new year's resolution was to be a lot more careful with my diet... and I better have my coffee NOW or I might drown in this metaphor... :yh_rotflOh Pam join the club babe:-5:-5:-5bleedin waste of time:-5:-5:(
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Odie;1111585 wrote: ain't life here grand?:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotflYe we do have a laugh at times I gotta say:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl......other times:-5:-5:D;)
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A SHORT LOVE STORY
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
>
>
>
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
>
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,
>
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.
I have a better idea, she replied Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
>
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
>
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ********** blanket.'
After a moment of silence ...he farted.
The End
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
>
>
>
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
>
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,
>
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.
I have a better idea, she replied Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
>
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
>
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ********** blanket.'
After a moment of silence ...he farted.
The End
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1111955 wrote: A SHORT LOVE STORY
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
>
>
>
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
>
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,
>
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.
I have a better idea, she replied Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
>
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
>
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ********** blanket.'
After a moment of silence ...he farted.
The End
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
>
>
>
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
>
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,
>
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.
I have a better idea, she replied Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
>
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
>
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ********** blanket.'
After a moment of silence ...he farted.
The End
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Nice one, Cars!! Welcome back!!!
"Life is too short to ski with ugly men"
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
AussiePam;1111028 wrote: FG does need a good laugh.
(I was thinking the other day that maybe FG also needs its own Loony Bin. We could consign everyone who gives me the mega irrits there!!!!! Kind of like putting kids in a playpen while you get some peace and quiet. Of course, there have been times, when it's me who ended up happily out of reach in the playpen... I wonder if the FG Loony Bin does a good gin and tonic??? :sneaky:)
Um.. but I digress. Excellent one, Odie!!!
And welcome Amber Sun!!
well if FG gets its own Loony Bin, y'all might as well take my room out of the forumgarden hotel, and just move it right on in there! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
(I was thinking the other day that maybe FG also needs its own Loony Bin. We could consign everyone who gives me the mega irrits there!!!!! Kind of like putting kids in a playpen while you get some peace and quiet. Of course, there have been times, when it's me who ended up happily out of reach in the playpen... I wonder if the FG Loony Bin does a good gin and tonic??? :sneaky:)
Um.. but I digress. Excellent one, Odie!!!
And welcome Amber Sun!!
well if FG gets its own Loony Bin, y'all might as well take my room out of the forumgarden hotel, and just move it right on in there! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Carolly;1111648 wrote: Ye we do have a laugh at times I gotta say:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl......other times:-5:-5:D;)
well that all a part of being here i guess, sometimes we laugh together, sometimes we have to cry together! :-6
well that all a part of being here i guess, sometimes we laugh together, sometimes we have to cry together! :-6
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
kazalala;1111540 wrote: yer avin a laugh intcha:-2:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
well let me join y'all and have a laugh too!
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
well let me join y'all and have a laugh too!
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1111955 wrote: A SHORT LOVE STORY
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
>
>
>
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
>
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,
>
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.
I have a better idea, she replied Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
>
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
>
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ********** blanket.'
After a moment of silence ...he farted.
The End
another great one my friend! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.
>
>
>
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.
>
At 1:00 AM , the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,
>
I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold.
I have a better idea, she replied Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married.'
>
'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.
>
'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own ********** blanket.'
After a moment of silence ...he farted.
The End
another great one my friend! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
Hope6;1112182 wrote: well that all a part of being here i guess, sometimes we laugh together, sometimes we have to cry together! :-6
Very true Hope;)
Very true Hope;)
Women are bitchy and predictable ...men are not and that's the key to knowing the truth.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry.
They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there.
They had a great time; however, after all the hardy partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time.
As a result, they missed the final.
The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points, something simple about free radical formation.
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy."
Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
>
>
>
>
(For 95 points): Which tire?
They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there.
They had a great time; however, after all the hardy partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time.
As a result, they missed the final.
The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points, something simple about free radical formation.
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy."
Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
>
>
>
>
(For 95 points): Which tire?
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
One Summer day there were two boys playing by a stream.
When out of no where, they saw a woman bathing naked in that stream.
Then, all of a sudden one of the boys took off running away as fast as he could. The other boy took off after his friend.
After a while, the boy caught up to his friend, and he asked why he ran away.
Well said the boy, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone"!
And after seeing her naked, I felt something getting very hard so I ran." :wah:
When out of no where, they saw a woman bathing naked in that stream.
Then, all of a sudden one of the boys took off running away as fast as he could. The other boy took off after his friend.
After a while, the boy caught up to his friend, and he asked why he ran away.
Well said the boy, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone"!
And after seeing her naked, I felt something getting very hard so I ran." :wah:
Cars
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1112442 wrote: One Summer day there were two boys playing by a stream.
When out of no where, they saw a woman bathing naked in that stream.
Then, all of a sudden one of the boys took off running away as fast as he could. The other boy took off after his friend.
After a while, the boy caught up to his friend, and he asked why he ran away.
Well said the boy, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone"!
And after seeing her naked, I felt something getting very hard so I ran." :wah:
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
When out of no where, they saw a woman bathing naked in that stream.
Then, all of a sudden one of the boys took off running away as fast as he could. The other boy took off after his friend.
After a while, the boy caught up to his friend, and he asked why he ran away.
Well said the boy, "my mom told me that if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone"!
And after seeing her naked, I felt something getting very hard so I ran." :wah:
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
Life is just to short for drama.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?"
"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"
:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl
"Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"
"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"
"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"
:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
There were 11 people hanging on to a single rope that suspended them from a helicopter trying to bring them to safety. Ten were men; one was a woman.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
They all decided that one person would have to let go because if they didn't, the rope would break and all of them would die.
No one could decide who it should be. Finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving things up for their husbands and children and giving in to men.
All of the men started clapping.
Maybe FG Needs a Good Laugh!
cars;1112438 wrote: At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry.
They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there.
They had a great time; however, after all the hardy partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time.
As a result, they missed the final.
The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points, something simple about free radical formation.
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy."
Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
>
>
>
>
(For 95 points): Which tire?
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl sounds like a professor :yh_rotfl
They did so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.
These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there.
They had a great time; however, after all the hardy partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time.
As a result, they missed the final.
The Professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day.
The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.
They looked at the first problem, worth 5 points, something simple about free radical formation.
"Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy."
Each finished the problem and then turned the page.
On the second page was written:
>
>
>
>
(For 95 points): Which tire?
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl sounds like a professor :yh_rotfl