A letter to the passport office..

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sun Oct 11, 2009 10:31 pm

When I recieved this as an e mail, I am assured this was a genuine letter to the passport office.

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be also-f**king-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my f**king address !!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes workin' there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for s h i t sakes. I just want to go and park my arsse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shytt whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last f**king people I'd want to tell!

Well , I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another f**king copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the f**kin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arssehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic f**kin' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally pissed off!

Signed

An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........ However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN F**KING AUSTRALIA !

Sincerely,

You Sure The Hell Should Know Who.

FUBAR · Post by **FUBAR** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 4:08 am

Bureaucrat: A little person who has a little power over somebody and cannot resist using it at every opportunity...

Sounds normal to me. Went through security at the airport once and was told we had one hand luggage to much. The extra one had our childs stuff in (baby food changing stuff etc) and we were told when checking in it didn't count as hand luggage. The female security bod said she didn't care what the airline had said we had one bag more than allowed and we couldn't go past. I rearranged all the bags so we had four and went past. I then repacked them as before into five bags while she watched and set off for our flight. So for about 5 meters we had four bags as set out in their rules.............:sneaky:

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 10:21 am

FUBAR;1251242 wrote: Bureaucrat: A little person who has a little power over somebody and cannot resist using it at every opportunity...

Sounds normal to me. Went through security at the airport once and was told we had one hand luggage to much. The extra one had our childs stuff in (baby food changing stuff etc) and we were told when checking in it didn't count as hand luggage. The female security bod said she didn't care what the airline had said we had one bag more than allowed and we couldn't go past. I rearranged all the bags so we had four and went past. I then repacked them as before into five bags while she watched and set off for our flight. So for about 5 meters we had four bags as set out in their rules.............:sneaky:
Nice one mate !! If that was a real passport letter, then I can empathise with the guy totally :wah:

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:34 am

oscar;1251318 wrote: Nice one mate !! If that was a real passport letter, then I can empathise with the guy totally :wah:

Empathise! This is a real passport photograph!!

Attached files

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:49 am

Rapunzel;1251327 wrote: Empathise! This is a real passport photograph!!

I've seen that one before :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 11:52 am

And this one.

Attached files

Rapunzel · Post by **Rapunzel** » Mon Oct 12, 2009 12:08 pm

It's madness! :-5

Why make so much fuss about British passport applications when foreigners are given passports that are so blatantly unacceptable? :-5