Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.
And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my Mum or my Dad.
Or my older brother Colin.
Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Roderick.
Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - got married.
The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant.
Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? "
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "
"No, because he's really heavy"
Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's."
"Well you can't say fairer than that then"
So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said "Who's speaking please?"
And a voice said "You are."
Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Brown, please get out of my filing cabinet.'
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
I ate a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
Groan :-5
Some old groaners.
Some old groaners.
[FONT=Arial]Just above the clouds
the sun is always shining.
[/FONT]
the sun is always shining.
[/FONT]
-
- Posts: 6596
- Joined: Mon Feb 02, 2009 5:35 pm
Some old groaners.
Guy goes into the doctor's.
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
Brilliant!!!
"Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside."
"How's that?"
"Don't you start"
Brilliant!!!
Some old groaners.
Tommy Cooper is still alive ?
I thought I knew more than this until I opened my mouth
Some old groaners.
Thanks, binbag, another load to add to my growing collection of 'funnies' :yh_rotfl
I'm a Saga-lout, growing old disgracefully
Some old groaners.
"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today.
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
I ate a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Brilliant!!! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl
They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice."
I ate a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl Brilliant!!! :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl