previous required reading:
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... nesis.html
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... xodus.html
http://www.forumgarden.com/forums/chris ... ticus.html
Numbers 1
In keeping with the title, we start out with a counting of the tribes of Israel and how many people are in each tribe. It's a pretty big number. Aside from that, it's kind of like reading a phone book.
Biggest news is that the tribes are moving out! They don't know exactly where they're going but they do know that they aren't there yet so I'm sure they are all really excited about getting back to civilization again. They figure out their marching order and the Levites (Aaron and sons) are put in charge of the tabernacle... And only the Levites. If you're not a Levite, don't touch it, don't look at it, don't talk about it, and you probably shouldn't even think about it.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 2
How many campers are there? 603,550, not counting the Levites. We don't count Levites because they aren't campers they're holy men. I'm not a big camper so this chapter sounds rather like "where are we going to put all the porta-potties?" I'd have been smote as a whiner way before the rest of them.
They all have their own flags too. A flag for each tribe. And they camp under it. It must be a big flag.
How many campers are there? 603,550, not counting the Levites. We don't count Levites because they aren't campers they're holy men. I'm not a big camper so this chapter sounds rather like "where are we going to put all the porta-potties?" I'd have been smote as a whiner way before the rest of them.
They all have their own flags too. A flag for each tribe. And they camp under it. It must be a big flag.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 3
God realizes that people haven't been “giving” him their firstborn sons so he asks Moses to count all the firstborn babies since they left Egypt and count all the Levites who are going to be swapped for the taking. God does the math. There are 273 extra babies out there and not enough Levites so Moses must collect money to buy off the rest of the firstborns. Being a priest keeps sounding more and more unlucky. First they don't count. Next they are sacrifices.
That's about it for this chapter. Levites are the extra special chosen ones with a role that can't be that good or the people would have been lined up to give their firstborns. The chance of getting into that offering tent would have been slimmer than a ghetto kid going to Montessori.
God realizes that people haven't been “giving” him their firstborn sons so he asks Moses to count all the firstborn babies since they left Egypt and count all the Levites who are going to be swapped for the taking. God does the math. There are 273 extra babies out there and not enough Levites so Moses must collect money to buy off the rest of the firstborns. Being a priest keeps sounding more and more unlucky. First they don't count. Next they are sacrifices.
That's about it for this chapter. Levites are the extra special chosen ones with a role that can't be that good or the people would have been lined up to give their firstborns. The chance of getting into that offering tent would have been slimmer than a ghetto kid going to Montessori.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 4
This chapter is a matter of life and death if you ever plan on touching the Ark of the Covenant... assuming you find it with the battery still charged. Every part of it has to be covered carefully before touching it or the unpleasant result of death will occur. If you pictured the tabernacle as being a rather sturdy, laden, heavy metal affair... you're right.
At some point while packing up the Holy Tent they realize it is not so portable. Three other families are incorporated into the Holy Transportation job of the Levites. I don't think the families of the 273 firstborns from the last chapter got their money back either.
This chapter is a matter of life and death if you ever plan on touching the Ark of the Covenant... assuming you find it with the battery still charged. Every part of it has to be covered carefully before touching it or the unpleasant result of death will occur. If you pictured the tabernacle as being a rather sturdy, laden, heavy metal affair... you're right.
At some point while packing up the Holy Tent they realize it is not so portable. Three other families are incorporated into the Holy Transportation job of the Levites. I don't think the families of the 273 firstborns from the last chapter got their money back either.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 5
A short announcement, everybody. Please remember that lepers should be removed from the general camping area. Thank you, have a nice day.
The next part is a little bit controversial, having to do with suspicious husbands and cheating wives. Fortunately there is a test to find out if the accused is guilty. Unfortunately it sounds a lot like the priest gives her herbs that will cause an abortion. I'm not convinced that's what it means as it could easily have been the husband who got her pregnant so it wouldn't prove much of anything. I'm going to give the bible the benefit of the doubt and say it was just magic dirt in the water. Magic dirt which just happens to be lying randomly on the ground in the tabernacle. I'm kind of surprised they perform this test inside the Holy Tent though, as God has clearly expressed His distaste for unclean fluids and I'm pretty sure this involves at least one.
A short announcement, everybody. Please remember that lepers should be removed from the general camping area. Thank you, have a nice day.
The next part is a little bit controversial, having to do with suspicious husbands and cheating wives. Fortunately there is a test to find out if the accused is guilty. Unfortunately it sounds a lot like the priest gives her herbs that will cause an abortion. I'm not convinced that's what it means as it could easily have been the husband who got her pregnant so it wouldn't prove much of anything. I'm going to give the bible the benefit of the doubt and say it was just magic dirt in the water. Magic dirt which just happens to be lying randomly on the ground in the tabernacle. I'm kind of surprised they perform this test inside the Holy Tent though, as God has clearly expressed His distaste for unclean fluids and I'm pretty sure this involves at least one.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 6
Concerning nuns and monks. Anyone feeling particularly pious can devote themselves to God by not cutting their hair, giving up alcohol, grapes and raisins included, and not letting dead people touch them. If a random person has the gall to suddenly die next to them before the candidate can get away, they have to shave their heads and start their devotion period all over again. I can see why the practice incorporated shutting oneself away. It would be really hard to avoid dead folk when so much smiting is going on. I bet it's a lot easier to become a nun nowadays.
The chapter finishes with the proper words to use when blessing someone. It has since been shortened to “Gesundheit” by the Germans.
Concerning nuns and monks. Anyone feeling particularly pious can devote themselves to God by not cutting their hair, giving up alcohol, grapes and raisins included, and not letting dead people touch them. If a random person has the gall to suddenly die next to them before the candidate can get away, they have to shave their heads and start their devotion period all over again. I can see why the practice incorporated shutting oneself away. It would be really hard to avoid dead folk when so much smiting is going on. I bet it's a lot easier to become a nun nowadays.
The chapter finishes with the proper words to use when blessing someone. It has since been shortened to “Gesundheit” by the Germans.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 7
The transportation of the tabernacle was arduous enough they arranged for God to demand some donated oxen and carts. But only for the Levites. The add on families were “meant” to carry everything on their shoulders.
Each of the leaders of the tribes brings a sacrifice and probably makes a prayer that they never get blessed with the Holy Service Industry.
We get a brief glimpse of God speaking to Moses from between the two cherubim on the Ark. That's where He's at. My original mental image was of Owen Wilson staring at a wavy electical line saying “God? Is that You?” But I'm sure it was much more proper and entirely more serious.
The transportation of the tabernacle was arduous enough they arranged for God to demand some donated oxen and carts. But only for the Levites. The add on families were “meant” to carry everything on their shoulders.
Each of the leaders of the tribes brings a sacrifice and probably makes a prayer that they never get blessed with the Holy Service Industry.
We get a brief glimpse of God speaking to Moses from between the two cherubim on the Ark. That's where He's at. My original mental image was of Owen Wilson staring at a wavy electical line saying “God? Is that You?” But I'm sure it was much more proper and entirely more serious.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 8
“the Levites will be mine. “ (insert evil laugh)
God sets up a thorough washing so His booty will be clean. As cumbersome as being a Levite has come to sound, He decides they can retire at 50 instead of 65 so... there are some rewards.
He's got a preference for lamp stand styles but doesn't seem too concerned with what shade is used. Curiously, I was surprised by His lack of concern. I tend to notice the lampshade first. I've been doing it wrong all these years.
“the Levites will be mine. “ (insert evil laugh)
God sets up a thorough washing so His booty will be clean. As cumbersome as being a Levite has come to sound, He decides they can retire at 50 instead of 65 so... there are some rewards.
He's got a preference for lamp stand styles but doesn't seem too concerned with what shade is used. Curiously, I was surprised by His lack of concern. I tend to notice the lampshade first. I've been doing it wrong all these years.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 9
The Passover takes place and Moses and Aaron must have busied themselves setting the stage for the fireworks display. Smoke covers the Holy Tent. Smoke by day, fire by night. Oooooh, Aaaaaah. There is a small glitch in that some of the people are unclean for the ritual and others had to be somewhere else at the time but, after a quick “what shall we do?” Moses is given a solution. Unless you're Jewish it doesn't matter what the answer was. If you are Jewish, you already know.
The cloud stays for random time periods and as soon as it stops smoking the people move. I find myself again thinking of Mario Bros. There are skills learned playing that game that could be entirely useful in real life, like how to get past a sprinkler that includes the sidewalk in its spray zone. I wonder what the moment was like when it started smoking before they'd pitched camp again. I'm thinking someone lost one of their lives.
The Passover takes place and Moses and Aaron must have busied themselves setting the stage for the fireworks display. Smoke covers the Holy Tent. Smoke by day, fire by night. Oooooh, Aaaaaah. There is a small glitch in that some of the people are unclean for the ritual and others had to be somewhere else at the time but, after a quick “what shall we do?” Moses is given a solution. Unless you're Jewish it doesn't matter what the answer was. If you are Jewish, you already know.
The cloud stays for random time periods and as soon as it stops smoking the people move. I find myself again thinking of Mario Bros. There are skills learned playing that game that could be entirely useful in real life, like how to get past a sprinkler that includes the sidewalk in its spray zone. I wonder what the moment was like when it started smoking before they'd pitched camp again. I'm thinking someone lost one of their lives.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 10
Remember, in The Sound Of Music, how the Baron Von Trapp had whistle calls specific to each of his children? As a postulant, Maria shouldn't have found that so terrible. In Numbers 10 God has Moses set up a trumpet sound for each tribe. No wonder she didn't make it as a nun.
Of particular interest is that Moses' brother-in-law is apparently with him. He says he's gonna jet and Moses almost pleas with him to stay as their guide since Hobab knows the land so well. Moses says their Lord will be gifting them all and he'll share it with his brother. Sounds to me like Moses isn't 100% sure that God is the only guide he needs. Surprised he didn't get smote for that.
Remember, in The Sound Of Music, how the Baron Von Trapp had whistle calls specific to each of his children? As a postulant, Maria shouldn't have found that so terrible. In Numbers 10 God has Moses set up a trumpet sound for each tribe. No wonder she didn't make it as a nun.
Of particular interest is that Moses' brother-in-law is apparently with him. He says he's gonna jet and Moses almost pleas with him to stay as their guide since Hobab knows the land so well. Moses says their Lord will be gifting them all and he'll share it with his brother. Sounds to me like Moses isn't 100% sure that God is the only guide he needs. Surprised he didn't get smote for that.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 11
There are apparently a lot of other people, like me, who don't like camping. The whining begins again. Holy Fire breaks out which, after he quells it, results in Moses saying “Oh, God, just kill me now! God realizes that Moses is under a lot of pressure and commands him to delegate. So seventy other Israelites are given the visions. We are told “This never happens again. But two random non chosen people start spouting off prophesies all of a sudden. Joshua, Moses' right hand man, is a little put off but Moses is all “okey dokey, whateva So, we ultimately don't know if all these suburban prophets in the subway are crazy or an offspring of Moses wanting to kill himself.
From the complaints being murmered we gather that, compared to manna, Egypt: not so bad. We also might think 'kill a freakin' lamb and eat it already!' Instead, God says “trust Me and sends tons of quails. Apparently this is just to taunt them because when they bite into the dead birds God strikes them with plague. So, yeah, don't look a gift bird in the mouth and think he's all innocent.
There are apparently a lot of other people, like me, who don't like camping. The whining begins again. Holy Fire breaks out which, after he quells it, results in Moses saying “Oh, God, just kill me now! God realizes that Moses is under a lot of pressure and commands him to delegate. So seventy other Israelites are given the visions. We are told “This never happens again. But two random non chosen people start spouting off prophesies all of a sudden. Joshua, Moses' right hand man, is a little put off but Moses is all “okey dokey, whateva So, we ultimately don't know if all these suburban prophets in the subway are crazy or an offspring of Moses wanting to kill himself.
From the complaints being murmered we gather that, compared to manna, Egypt: not so bad. We also might think 'kill a freakin' lamb and eat it already!' Instead, God says “trust Me and sends tons of quails. Apparently this is just to taunt them because when they bite into the dead birds God strikes them with plague. So, yeah, don't look a gift bird in the mouth and think he's all innocent.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 12
God giveth the visions and God taketh away. Result: It's not better to have had and lost than to have never had at all. Aaron and his wife, Miriam, get a little cheesed that Moses, who married a pagan, gets all the visions to himself. God orders all three of them into the tabernacle like a harried mother about to give a time out. He explains that Moses is the only one who gets the visions straight out with no riddles. Aha! So the subway prophets are mostly crazy.
God curses Miriam with leprosy instead of giving her a dunce cap but, when Moses is distraught, He points out that she only has to leave for seven days so it's basically the same as if He spit in her face. The Hebrews take a seven day hiatus from travelling until Miriam gets better. She gets better.
God giveth the visions and God taketh away. Result: It's not better to have had and lost than to have never had at all. Aaron and his wife, Miriam, get a little cheesed that Moses, who married a pagan, gets all the visions to himself. God orders all three of them into the tabernacle like a harried mother about to give a time out. He explains that Moses is the only one who gets the visions straight out with no riddles. Aha! So the subway prophets are mostly crazy.
God curses Miriam with leprosy instead of giving her a dunce cap but, when Moses is distraught, He points out that she only has to leave for seven days so it's basically the same as if He spit in her face. The Hebrews take a seven day hiatus from travelling until Miriam gets better. She gets better.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 13
If you thought that having the Lord (and a pagan guide) on your side means you can be sure of your plan, think again. Moses has to send spies to bring back reports on what they find abroad. So off they go and they find a community which has "milk and honey" so it may be the land that was promised to them. Alas, there are giants living there and attempts to seize the land will likely not go well.
Only two of the scouts are confident. "Pah, we can take 'em." But the people are more concerned with giants than Joshua and Caleb. God is, of course, not likely to be happy with the lack of trust but I wonder if the unhappiness is from news that these well endowed men survived his previous smiting. That's kind of what the flood was all about. Way to go, God, You missed a few.
If you thought that having the Lord (and a pagan guide) on your side means you can be sure of your plan, think again. Moses has to send spies to bring back reports on what they find abroad. So off they go and they find a community which has "milk and honey" so it may be the land that was promised to them. Alas, there are giants living there and attempts to seize the land will likely not go well.
Only two of the scouts are confident. "Pah, we can take 'em." But the people are more concerned with giants than Joshua and Caleb. God is, of course, not likely to be happy with the lack of trust but I wonder if the unhappiness is from news that these well endowed men survived his previous smiting. That's kind of what the flood was all about. Way to go, God, You missed a few.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 14
Upon hearing news of the giants preventing the attainment of Promise Land, the Israelites commenced with “I knew following that mute was a mistake! Bloody hell, this is worse than dying in Egypt. I should have just dug my grave when I saw the smoking mountain, at least I still had grain in my tummy back then.” And thus the people were verklempt.
Joshua and Caleb tried to convince them the giants weren't so big but got threatened with stoning so God had to step in with a brief aside to Moses asking if it wouldn't be better to smote them all and start fresh with better seed. Moses must have replied with a “You know You can't do that without looking bad” again because He only smote the scouts who told about the giants. We'll never know whether they could have defeated them or not because God pulled a “forget it then” and told them He wasn't going to give them that land after all. A few of them decided they'd been too hasty and tried to take the giant Amorites anyway but, of course, they died. He also added that none of the murmurers would be granted the chance to see God's gifted lands anymore but we can't be sure at this point if it was a punishment or if He was just buying time to figure out what to do about the facts on the ground.
Upon hearing news of the giants preventing the attainment of Promise Land, the Israelites commenced with “I knew following that mute was a mistake! Bloody hell, this is worse than dying in Egypt. I should have just dug my grave when I saw the smoking mountain, at least I still had grain in my tummy back then.” And thus the people were verklempt.
Joshua and Caleb tried to convince them the giants weren't so big but got threatened with stoning so God had to step in with a brief aside to Moses asking if it wouldn't be better to smote them all and start fresh with better seed. Moses must have replied with a “You know You can't do that without looking bad” again because He only smote the scouts who told about the giants. We'll never know whether they could have defeated them or not because God pulled a “forget it then” and told them He wasn't going to give them that land after all. A few of them decided they'd been too hasty and tried to take the giant Amorites anyway but, of course, they died. He also added that none of the murmurers would be granted the chance to see God's gifted lands anymore but we can't be sure at this point if it was a punishment or if He was just buying time to figure out what to do about the facts on the ground.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 15
Fresh from the slaughter of their own people we can assume there is a little shock and awe going on. God goes over his expectations regarding sacrifice and the people are all over it when they find a hapless man with the nerve to gather sticks on the day of rest. Sure enough, God wants him stoned to death, so it's a good thing they caught him to prevent more plague and smiting of random people. One down, hundreds of thousands sleep better. I think it would have been more fitting if they'd beaten the guy to death with the sticks he gathered.
Fresh from the slaughter of their own people we can assume there is a little shock and awe going on. God goes over his expectations regarding sacrifice and the people are all over it when they find a hapless man with the nerve to gather sticks on the day of rest. Sure enough, God wants him stoned to death, so it's a good thing they caught him to prevent more plague and smiting of random people. One down, hundreds of thousands sleep better. I think it would have been more fitting if they'd beaten the guy to death with the sticks he gathered.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 16
Mutiny!
Moses' leadership is under fire after two years of leading people to wander aimlessly, killing all their animals, while they starve, as sacrifice to a God that keeps punishing them for not following tons of rules but who hasn't quite followed through on His part of the bargain, keeps forgetting His promises but doesn't miss a thing when it comes to who they have sex with. What took them so long?
Surprisingly, instead of just killing Moses, they agree to play a little “let's see what God thinks” game and congregate outside of the tabernacle with strange fire so that God can smote them all in one go. Guess the rebels forgot what happened to Aaron's sons. Though the ground is supposed to have opened up and swallowed the sons of... bitches, I suspect the strange fire had something to do with it too.
Moses and Aaron do some swift damage control but still lose almost 15 000 of their people before the whole sordid affair is put to rest. If God was as busy killing Amorites as He was killing Israelites, they might have had an easier time finding somewhere to call home.
Mutiny!
Moses' leadership is under fire after two years of leading people to wander aimlessly, killing all their animals, while they starve, as sacrifice to a God that keeps punishing them for not following tons of rules but who hasn't quite followed through on His part of the bargain, keeps forgetting His promises but doesn't miss a thing when it comes to who they have sex with. What took them so long?
Surprisingly, instead of just killing Moses, they agree to play a little “let's see what God thinks” game and congregate outside of the tabernacle with strange fire so that God can smote them all in one go. Guess the rebels forgot what happened to Aaron's sons. Though the ground is supposed to have opened up and swallowed the sons of... bitches, I suspect the strange fire had something to do with it too.
Moses and Aaron do some swift damage control but still lose almost 15 000 of their people before the whole sordid affair is put to rest. If God was as busy killing Amorites as He was killing Israelites, they might have had an easier time finding somewhere to call home.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Tell me, are you feeling deeply immersed in high moral principle thus far?
Nullius in verba ... ☎||||||||||| ... To Fate I sue, of other means bereft, the only refuge for the wretched left.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
When flower power came along I stood for Human Rights, marched around for peace and freedom, had some nooky every night - we took it serious.
Who has a spare two minutes to play in this month's FG Trivia game! ... My other OS is Slackware.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
spot;1342078 wrote: Tell me, are you feeling deeply immersed in high moral principle thus far?
I'm thinking this a monster of a plan gone very wrong and every time the people want to know why they haven't got what Moses promised they find someone to blame it on and/or make up a new rule to explain what they did wrong to bring down punishment. I think if this is the way God meant for the Exodus to happen, He has very little understanding of what humans are capable of enduring. I'm surprised they didn't stone Moses ages ago and elect a new leader or split up and go back to Egypt. Even Aaron has turned on him. They must be highly civilized to approach him and say "what makes you so special?" instead of just planning an attack and killing him outright.
God seems to need anger management classes and He needs to pay His bill. It's not sufficient to say I'll pay you six hundred years from now when no one's left to remember exactly what I promised.
I'm thinking this a monster of a plan gone very wrong and every time the people want to know why they haven't got what Moses promised they find someone to blame it on and/or make up a new rule to explain what they did wrong to bring down punishment. I think if this is the way God meant for the Exodus to happen, He has very little understanding of what humans are capable of enduring. I'm surprised they didn't stone Moses ages ago and elect a new leader or split up and go back to Egypt. Even Aaron has turned on him. They must be highly civilized to approach him and say "what makes you so special?" instead of just planning an attack and killing him outright.
God seems to need anger management classes and He needs to pay His bill. It's not sufficient to say I'll pay you six hundred years from now when no one's left to remember exactly what I promised.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Additionally, I'm unconvinced that Moses hears God unerringly.
I think a lot of what's going on is Moses trying to cover up the stuff he can't explain. Moses begging a pagan to be his guide through the wilderness should have raised far more red flags than a guy gathering some sticks.
I think a lot of what's going on is Moses trying to cover up the stuff he can't explain. Moses begging a pagan to be his guide through the wilderness should have raised far more red flags than a guy gathering some sticks.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
If Moses wasn't hearing well that was too bad. There were no digital hearing aids back then and any way I wouldn't have loaned him mine. LOL
Next question. Is Moses even an historical character or part of the metaphor?
Shalom
Ted
Next question. Is Moses even an historical character or part of the metaphor?
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Looking at the story from a literary perspective, there are a lot of flaws in the narrative. I suspect there was a great prophet and some of the events took place but they screwed it up a bit. Why on earth would they put in there that Moses begged his pagan brother in law to guide him when the story line is that Moses was one of the few who believed whole heartedly that God would take care of them? Aside from him asking God to just kill him when he was feeling overwhelmed. Dramatically I liked the "oh, God, just kill me now" but the pagan guide and pagan father in law telling him how to organize his court system was a little shocking.
Another major story flaw is that God led the Israelites to Egypt via a chosen person who married a pagan priest's daughter and left them in the land of the pagans for hundreds of years... so what's with all the punishment for having pagan ways? It's a direct result of God's previous leadership decisions.
If it's metaphorical, the point of the story is that God works in deeply mysterious ways and likes to punish humans for not being able to read His mind. That's why I lean toward thinking it's at least partially based in real history. A fable would make more sense.
Another major story flaw is that God led the Israelites to Egypt via a chosen person who married a pagan priest's daughter and left them in the land of the pagans for hundreds of years... so what's with all the punishment for having pagan ways? It's a direct result of God's previous leadership decisions.
If it's metaphorical, the point of the story is that God works in deeply mysterious ways and likes to punish humans for not being able to read His mind. That's why I lean toward thinking it's at least partially based in real history. A fable would make more sense.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
One more comment before I get back to my chapter reports.
I'm pausing for a bit to get my sense of humour back. From reading ahead, I'm plodding my way through Joshua with horror and outrage at the massacres. At this point, it's easy to see the books of Moses as an attempt to justify and win sympathy for the acts of Joshua. I think I'm better off completing my project without looking at the bigger picture if I'm to maintain the humour and assess the story in a non-judgmental fashion. It's really important to me to read this and make my notes without judgment of the "why" and looking more for the linear character/plot development.
I'm pausing for a bit to get my sense of humour back. From reading ahead, I'm plodding my way through Joshua with horror and outrage at the massacres. At this point, it's easy to see the books of Moses as an attempt to justify and win sympathy for the acts of Joshua. I think I'm better off completing my project without looking at the bigger picture if I'm to maintain the humour and assess the story in a non-judgmental fashion. It's really important to me to read this and make my notes without judgment of the "why" and looking more for the linear character/plot development.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 17
Despite all the impressive smiting, the people still wished to challenge Moses and Aaron's right to authority. The story goes that Moses arranges a magic trick where he takes twelve rods and writes the name of the leader of each tribe on their sticks then puts them in the tabernacle to see which one grows blossoms. The fruitful stick will be their new leader. Of course it comes back in favour of the house of Levi. There isn't any “oohing and aahing” to indicate this satisfies their complaints, instead they say “Behold, we die, we perish, we all perish “ followed by the observation that anyone who tries to go near the tabernacle dies. Since Moses and Aaron don't die when they go near, this complaint can be rendered “it's not fair to use the tabernacle as the stage for a leadership convention!” while a few brave blokes yelled from the back of the crowd “there were two sticks with his name on it!” and “keep the sticks where we can see them and try it again!”
Thus the people of Israel asked for a change of venue for political campaigns and the matter doesn't seem to have been properly resolved.
Despite all the impressive smiting, the people still wished to challenge Moses and Aaron's right to authority. The story goes that Moses arranges a magic trick where he takes twelve rods and writes the name of the leader of each tribe on their sticks then puts them in the tabernacle to see which one grows blossoms. The fruitful stick will be their new leader. Of course it comes back in favour of the house of Levi. There isn't any “oohing and aahing” to indicate this satisfies their complaints, instead they say “Behold, we die, we perish, we all perish “ followed by the observation that anyone who tries to go near the tabernacle dies. Since Moses and Aaron don't die when they go near, this complaint can be rendered “it's not fair to use the tabernacle as the stage for a leadership convention!” while a few brave blokes yelled from the back of the crowd “there were two sticks with his name on it!” and “keep the sticks where we can see them and try it again!”
Thus the people of Israel asked for a change of venue for political campaigns and the matter doesn't seem to have been properly resolved.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Archeologists have gradually concluded that much of the early history of the Bible is purely mythical. The Patriarchs are mythical, the Exodus is mythical, and the Conquest is mythical. The main debate nowadays is over how historical the Biblical accounts of Kings David and Solomon are. But the debate over mythicism is not likely to proceed much past them, since the Dual Monarchy period is reasonably well-supported from outside sources, even though the Biblical account of that period is rather editorialized.
The Exodus and the Conquest not having happened as described in the Bible has a certain consequence that archeologists have not talked much about.
That Moses was largely or entirely mythical.
That is because much of his biography, if not most of it, is tied to events that never happened, meaning that a historical Moses could not have confronted the Pharaoh and led the Israelites to freedom. So if there was a historical Moses, was he some now-obscure local leader who got embellished by generations of mythmakers?
That would also explain why Moses's burial site has never been found; even Deuteronomy's writer(s) did not claim to know where it was ("He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is.", Deut. 34:6).
Was Moses a Myth? | The Rational Response Squad
This conclusion has also been reached by Jewish scholars such as Jewish archaeologist Israel Finkelstein and historian Neil Silberman in "The Bible Unearthed" as well as others. Visit the University of Tel Avive. The importance lies in what the ancient writings mean.
Shalom
Ted
The Exodus and the Conquest not having happened as described in the Bible has a certain consequence that archeologists have not talked much about.
That Moses was largely or entirely mythical.
That is because much of his biography, if not most of it, is tied to events that never happened, meaning that a historical Moses could not have confronted the Pharaoh and led the Israelites to freedom. So if there was a historical Moses, was he some now-obscure local leader who got embellished by generations of mythmakers?
That would also explain why Moses's burial site has never been found; even Deuteronomy's writer(s) did not claim to know where it was ("He buried him in Moab, in the valley opposite Beth Peor, but to this day no one knows where his grave is.", Deut. 34:6).
Was Moses a Myth? | The Rational Response Squad
This conclusion has also been reached by Jewish scholars such as Jewish archaeologist Israel Finkelstein and historian Neil Silberman in "The Bible Unearthed" as well as others. Visit the University of Tel Avive. The importance lies in what the ancient writings mean.
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Unfortunately Albrights comments to the contrary do not stand up to modern scrutiny. It is more wishful thinking on his part.
Shalom
Ted
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 18
What better way to follow up a really poor approval rating than to re-announce all the rules and special privileges of the priests? We're Here, You Fear, Get Used To It!!
Moses and Aaron having a drink at the end of the day:
“...so I said, what are you gonna do about it? Rebel??
"rotflmao"
"then I waved the sprouting stick at them, good job on that one, btw"
"and did they give you the money for their firstborns?"
"nah, but they said they'd have it by tomorrow."
What better way to follow up a really poor approval rating than to re-announce all the rules and special privileges of the priests? We're Here, You Fear, Get Used To It!!
Moses and Aaron having a drink at the end of the day:
“...so I said, what are you gonna do about it? Rebel??
"rotflmao"
"then I waved the sprouting stick at them, good job on that one, btw"
"and did they give you the money for their firstborns?"
"nah, but they said they'd have it by tomorrow."
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Ted;1342264 wrote: ...
This conclusion has also been reached by Jewish scholars such as Jewish archaeologist Israel Finkelstein and historian Neil Silberman in "The Bible Unearthed" as well as others. Visit the University of Tel Avive. The importance lies in what the ancient writings mean.
Shalom
Ted
I'm suspecting that by the end of my literary criticism and short version of what the literal story says, people will have to either accept that a) God was an ******* or b) there are parts of the story missing
This conclusion has also been reached by Jewish scholars such as Jewish archaeologist Israel Finkelstein and historian Neil Silberman in "The Bible Unearthed" as well as others. Visit the University of Tel Avive. The importance lies in what the ancient writings mean.
Shalom
Ted
I'm suspecting that by the end of my literary criticism and short version of what the literal story says, people will have to either accept that a) God was an ******* or b) there are parts of the story missing
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
This historicity of both David and Solomon is not in question. What is in question is the extend of their kingdom and wealth. It seems to me that David was a local warlord.
Koan:
Great progress and very humorous. Thanks.
Shalom
Ted
Koan:
Great progress and very humorous. Thanks.
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
I just came across the word "historicity" today. lol. I like it.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
LOL
Shalom
Ted
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
According to Jewish scholar Abba Eban if Abraham did in fact exist then the God he was considering was a family God and not even a tribal God. "Heritage Civilization and the Jews". This is also supported by Gerstenberger in "Theologies of the Old Testament". What many people fail to understand is the validity of ancient and modern sacred myths.
Shalom
Ted
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
The first books of the OT are really Judaic law texts and I have no idea how Christians can find them usable at all. The commandments list is kind of a handy outline but, imo, not meant to be limited to only what was thought of at the time...which should be obvious bad behaviour anyway. I'm just glad they didn't put in stone that "thou shalt give your firstborns to God" He keeps repeating that rule but, thankfully, the chisel stayed sheathed on that point.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
koan
Maybe they ran out of space on the stone tablet and a third might have been too heavy for Moses to carry.
Shalom
Ted
Maybe they ran out of space on the stone tablet and a third might have been too heavy for Moses to carry.
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
koan
It is interesting that in Leviticus there are some 612/613 regulations. All but a few are entirely ignored by most Christians except for the one that says "A man shall not lie with a man as with a women. That is one point to which I have never had an answer. By what justification do you pick one out of all those and say it must be followed but all the rest can be ignored? Beats me!
Shalom
Ted
Oops.
It is interesting that in Leviticus there are some 612/613 regulations. All but a few are entirely ignored by most Christians except for the one that says "A man shall not lie with a man as with a women. That is one point to which I have never had an answer. By what justification do you pick one out of all those and say it must be followed but all the rest can be ignored? Beats me!
Shalom
Ted
Oops.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
over 600?? wow. I know I glazed over after the first 150 but thanks for saving me from having to go back and count!
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 19
Concerning preventing the spread of disease: All dead people continue to be suspect.
Someone comes up with a recipe for cleansing which may or may not be related to holy water. Either way, it involves burning red yarn and dead heifers. Vegetarians who chose such for reasons of morality should be extremely cautious of cleansing preparations made by religious people.
Concerning preventing the spread of disease: All dead people continue to be suspect.
Someone comes up with a recipe for cleansing which may or may not be related to holy water. Either way, it involves burning red yarn and dead heifers. Vegetarians who chose such for reasons of morality should be extremely cautious of cleansing preparations made by religious people.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Will you let me know if you find any good tips on herbal remedies?
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
ZAP;1342310 wrote: Will you let me know if you find any good tips on herbal remedies?
oooh, I know lots of herbal remedies. Do they have to be biblical? I'm not sure of the value of red string.
oooh, I know lots of herbal remedies. Do they have to be biblical? I'm not sure of the value of red string.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 20
Miriam dies. Now, we know that God cured her of the leprosy He inflicted on her but I'm wondering if they shouldn't have waited more than seven days to be sure. This could be part of why dead people touching you is such a concern. Also, God deprives the people of water for long enough they again wish they had died in Egypt... or one of the other negative moments of their collective existence.
Stuck between a rock and an unholy place, Moses makes the rash decision to pull the 'getting water from a rock' trick without checking for God's approval first. While some might think this a reasonable decision, God did not. He announced that Moses was banned from ever setting foot on the Promised Land as a result. Boo God. He's just mad because Moses stopped the whining before God got to smote a bunch of them again.
Meanwhile, Moses asks the king of Edom if the Israelites can pass through if they don't ask for anything. “You shall not pass!” is the unqualified answer. So... they go away. Then Aaron dies and Moses tells them all it was God's punishment so they won't question his authority while he's down a man. They wait forty days. We don't know if they were actually peaceful mourning days or days of “oh, great, what do we do now?” days. Either way, Aaron and his wife are now dead within a short time period and Moses can't go the way he had planned. God is mad at him and there is no indication that his people are any happier with him than God. He's banned from seeing the reward for all his efforts and we have no idea whether his pagan terrain guide has stuck around since they stopped talking about it after the one mention. Things for Moses: not so good.
Miriam dies. Now, we know that God cured her of the leprosy He inflicted on her but I'm wondering if they shouldn't have waited more than seven days to be sure. This could be part of why dead people touching you is such a concern. Also, God deprives the people of water for long enough they again wish they had died in Egypt... or one of the other negative moments of their collective existence.
Stuck between a rock and an unholy place, Moses makes the rash decision to pull the 'getting water from a rock' trick without checking for God's approval first. While some might think this a reasonable decision, God did not. He announced that Moses was banned from ever setting foot on the Promised Land as a result. Boo God. He's just mad because Moses stopped the whining before God got to smote a bunch of them again.
Meanwhile, Moses asks the king of Edom if the Israelites can pass through if they don't ask for anything. “You shall not pass!” is the unqualified answer. So... they go away. Then Aaron dies and Moses tells them all it was God's punishment so they won't question his authority while he's down a man. They wait forty days. We don't know if they were actually peaceful mourning days or days of “oh, great, what do we do now?” days. Either way, Aaron and his wife are now dead within a short time period and Moses can't go the way he had planned. God is mad at him and there is no indication that his people are any happier with him than God. He's banned from seeing the reward for all his efforts and we have no idea whether his pagan terrain guide has stuck around since they stopped talking about it after the one mention. Things for Moses: not so good.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 21
The Israelites get partially kidnapped by another town they pass which annoys them enough that they get their first battle victory. It's said that the Lord helped them out but is immediately followed by a curse so I'm thinking they really just won on pure rage.
Ok. So, they are cursed by a bunch of poisonous snakes. Instead of God just saying “back off snakes” Moses makes a bronze snake emblem to cure people who look at it after being bit. Ahem, sounds a little too much like idol worship for my comfort. God is apparently ok with snake images being prayed to. He recommends it.
Next, God leads them to Beer... which results in a song. Nice to know that some things never change.
After discovering Beer there is, finally, victory over their enemies and more poetry.
The Israelites get partially kidnapped by another town they pass which annoys them enough that they get their first battle victory. It's said that the Lord helped them out but is immediately followed by a curse so I'm thinking they really just won on pure rage.
Ok. So, they are cursed by a bunch of poisonous snakes. Instead of God just saying “back off snakes” Moses makes a bronze snake emblem to cure people who look at it after being bit. Ahem, sounds a little too much like idol worship for my comfort. God is apparently ok with snake images being prayed to. He recommends it.
Next, God leads them to Beer... which results in a song. Nice to know that some things never change.
After discovering Beer there is, finally, victory over their enemies and more poetry.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 22
The enigmatic character of Balaam is introduced. We hear more about why he is a bad person later so ignore that he appears to be helpful at first. Apparently there is a reason why God tells him to go with the bad guys then nearly smites him for doing so. Ignore that God speaks to him through his ass because Balaam has the inside scoop as to when God is feeling volatile. Ignore that God didn't smite him just for being capable of taking advantage of Him. The drama plays better if God lets him get to the Moabite city first. Because those Moabites never seem to be done with, no matter how many times they get killed.
That being said, the Moabite king gets a little nervous with the Israelites being so large in number and being sat right outside the city gates. So he gets the local holy man to come and curse them. Balaam resists at first saying he can only do what God ordains. Sounds righteous enough, yeah? Apparently not. Translate: I can only curse them if I catch God in a bad mood and He's had too much Beer. Balaam gets stopped mid travel by an angel standing in his way which he can't see but his donkey can. After punching his mule in the head a few times God lets the ass explain for himself what the problem is. This is a typical story after a night at the pub so I'm letting the Beer joke stand.
The enigmatic character of Balaam is introduced. We hear more about why he is a bad person later so ignore that he appears to be helpful at first. Apparently there is a reason why God tells him to go with the bad guys then nearly smites him for doing so. Ignore that God speaks to him through his ass because Balaam has the inside scoop as to when God is feeling volatile. Ignore that God didn't smite him just for being capable of taking advantage of Him. The drama plays better if God lets him get to the Moabite city first. Because those Moabites never seem to be done with, no matter how many times they get killed.
That being said, the Moabite king gets a little nervous with the Israelites being so large in number and being sat right outside the city gates. So he gets the local holy man to come and curse them. Balaam resists at first saying he can only do what God ordains. Sounds righteous enough, yeah? Apparently not. Translate: I can only curse them if I catch God in a bad mood and He's had too much Beer. Balaam gets stopped mid travel by an angel standing in his way which he can't see but his donkey can. After punching his mule in the head a few times God lets the ass explain for himself what the problem is. This is a typical story after a night at the pub so I'm letting the Beer joke stand.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 23
Balaam does the appropriate sacrifices but announces, "no, I don't think you're going to have much luck against them," which doesn't please the king. They keep changing location on the city walls but God is either still punch drunk happy with Moses or divinely pissed with the Moabites. Things are not just normal because Balaam claims that God doesn't find any perversity in the Israelites. I bet they'd be surprised to hear that. They'd want all their dead people back.
Anyway, whether God is being straight or playing, Balaam doubles up the sacrifice and tries again.
Balaam does the appropriate sacrifices but announces, "no, I don't think you're going to have much luck against them," which doesn't please the king. They keep changing location on the city walls but God is either still punch drunk happy with Moses or divinely pissed with the Moabites. Things are not just normal because Balaam claims that God doesn't find any perversity in the Israelites. I bet they'd be surprised to hear that. They'd want all their dead people back.
Anyway, whether God is being straight or playing, Balaam doubles up the sacrifice and tries again.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 24
Balak, the king, isn't too happy about the news but Balaam is all "what?? do you want me to lie to you?" There is the first notable mention of speaking in parable here. Balaam keeps being given "a word" and translating it. The word is "if you fight you're gonna lose." This passage is most like what the most honest pyschics I've met tend to say. Fate is fate no matter how many animals you kill.
as an aside: I have more faith in Balaam's abilities than in Moses'. No one hears God and can tell you word for word exactly what He was trying to say. No one. God's will, if it was ever dictated, can't be stated in language. Language is too limited. After some big time prophesying, Balaam goes his own way... only to be smote later: Big warning against those who desperately want 'the vision.' If God's contradictory behaviour is excusable then Balaam's ability to take advantage of His mood swings should be too. I'm all: Yay, Balaam. I was sad to hear he dies. Since God made a bunch of people psychic on a whim not too long ago, I don't feel overly bad for promoting their existence.
Balak, the king, isn't too happy about the news but Balaam is all "what?? do you want me to lie to you?" There is the first notable mention of speaking in parable here. Balaam keeps being given "a word" and translating it. The word is "if you fight you're gonna lose." This passage is most like what the most honest pyschics I've met tend to say. Fate is fate no matter how many animals you kill.
as an aside: I have more faith in Balaam's abilities than in Moses'. No one hears God and can tell you word for word exactly what He was trying to say. No one. God's will, if it was ever dictated, can't be stated in language. Language is too limited. After some big time prophesying, Balaam goes his own way... only to be smote later: Big warning against those who desperately want 'the vision.' If God's contradictory behaviour is excusable then Balaam's ability to take advantage of His mood swings should be too. I'm all: Yay, Balaam. I was sad to hear he dies. Since God made a bunch of people psychic on a whim not too long ago, I don't feel overly bad for promoting their existence.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 25
As it turns out, psychics aren't the problem. Those daughters of Moab have the Israelites a-whoring again. A bunch of people get themselves strung up in trees before the story progresses with the grand finale of a whoring couple getting run through with a spear for the love of God... or the fear of Him. God's impressed and decides to not smite them.
It's hard to discern if God granted them success because they survived the temptation of the sexy Moabite women or if the Moabites failed to overcome God by throwing their sexy women at the Israelites as a weapon. Either way, Balaam is still right. Score one for the 'bad' prophet.
As it turns out, psychics aren't the problem. Those daughters of Moab have the Israelites a-whoring again. A bunch of people get themselves strung up in trees before the story progresses with the grand finale of a whoring couple getting run through with a spear for the love of God... or the fear of Him. God's impressed and decides to not smite them.
It's hard to discern if God granted them success because they survived the temptation of the sexy Moabite women or if the Moabites failed to overcome God by throwing their sexy women at the Israelites as a weapon. Either way, Balaam is still right. Score one for the 'bad' prophet.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
pah, there's a bunch of counting people again so I'm off to bed before I have to explain why smote people still exist.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 26
“Notwithstanding the children of Korah died not .” That's the explanation in general for why there are still over 600 000 Israelites ready to do battle. I don't care how many got smote, where, or why, they're breeders.
Balak should have tried to make nice instead of tempting them with whores. Mind you, it's hard to play nice when there are a bunch of menacing tent people camping at the edge of your city. I don't believe for a second that they're fighting for Moses anymore. I think they're fighting for a good bath... soap wins.
“Notwithstanding the children of Korah died not .” That's the explanation in general for why there are still over 600 000 Israelites ready to do battle. I don't care how many got smote, where, or why, they're breeders.
Balak should have tried to make nice instead of tempting them with whores. Mind you, it's hard to play nice when there are a bunch of menacing tent people camping at the edge of your city. I don't believe for a second that they're fighting for Moses anymore. I think they're fighting for a good bath... soap wins.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 27
Before the epic battle begins, there is a discussion of how they should divide the land up. Some of the smote people's relatives don't want to get cut out of the deal. Moses also names Joshua as his successor. He knows he's getting old and God's already told him he's going to die before they get to the Promised Land so it's appropriate timing. Until this point, Joshua is described as a minor character. He's been at Moses' side since the mountain and the Commandments and must have had a really good head for politics. The original brown-noser.
Before the epic battle begins, there is a discussion of how they should divide the land up. Some of the smote people's relatives don't want to get cut out of the deal. Moses also names Joshua as his successor. He knows he's getting old and God's already told him he's going to die before they get to the Promised Land so it's appropriate timing. Until this point, Joshua is described as a minor character. He's been at Moses' side since the mountain and the Commandments and must have had a really good head for politics. The original brown-noser.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 28 & 29
Eight different types of offerings and sacrifices are outlined. God goes over the proper procedures for making sure He's well fed and placated.
Numbers 30
We review the vow making process. Women who make a promise to God get a chance to back out of it if the man of the house can be talked into objecting. Men are just stuck with whatever they said. I imagine there are a few fellows who wake up after some mead to some bad news: “I said what??” So, there are some benefits to being female.
Eight different types of offerings and sacrifices are outlined. God goes over the proper procedures for making sure He's well fed and placated.
Numbers 30
We review the vow making process. Women who make a promise to God get a chance to back out of it if the man of the house can be talked into objecting. Men are just stuck with whatever they said. I imagine there are a few fellows who wake up after some mead to some bad news: “I said what??” So, there are some benefits to being female.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Do you suppose the smote people came to be known as the Smotes, then through mispronunciation and misspelling or downright feistiness, the Smoots, the Smiths, etc..? Inquiring minds would like to know. Carry on, oh Biblical scholar.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
It's entirely possible that they became Smurfs.
La la la la la la... la la la la EEK! Watch out! It's Gargamel!!!
La la la la la la... la la la la EEK! Watch out! It's Gargamel!!!