Do People Care Anymore How They Talk to Their Children?

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:10 pm

So I'm standing outside a farm supply store. Jake is looking at the lawn mowers and gators and stuff that they have parked out in front. A young woman pops out of the store with 2 little boys, one little boy, he looked to be about 8 or 9, he says where is the car? He mothers says......Are you f**king retarded? the cars right there!....

I was disturbed and upset on several levels. First that she would talk to her child that way, secondly at how humilated and embarrassed that little boy must have been at her saying that in public in front of other people, and third that my 5 year old was standing there with me when it happened.

If she hadn't flown accross the parking lot so fast I would have said, I appreciate you not talking that way in front of my child.

Isn't there a law aganist talking that way in public?

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 1:24 pm

I heard something similar in a supermarket once . the mother was effing this and effing that to her three year old . I wasn't surprised when he spoke the same way to her when she said no to the lollies he wanted. Sad.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 3:45 pm

This happened in to me this weekend at a girlfriends house and she spoke to her child that way too...I was speechless, and I had a real tough time with what to say or do. I just kept my mouth shut (which is a challenge for me btw!). I have heard people in public talk to their children like that too and I gasp for air, look at them - everything but say something for the sake of a public brawl! It really upsets me that people don't realize how thier words and actions affect their children and others around them.

fuzzywuzzy · Post by **fuzzywuzzy** » Tue Oct 04, 2011 7:03 pm

I just kept my mouth shut(which is a challenge for me btw!)

Noooooo lol lol lol

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 8:43 am

Could be a form of dry humor the boy understands and appreciates, being called retarded that is.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 10:06 am

The Eff word is used way too much these days................and I am glad to say it still shocks me......not amongst hairy ar**d males of course.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 12:58 pm

Bruv;1371740 wrote: The Eff word is used way too much these days................and I am glad to say it still shocks me......not amongst hairy ar**d males of course.

I never knew one would be considered proper if they shaved their ar**

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 1:16 pm

K.Snyder;1371757 wrote: I never knew one would be considered proper if they shaved their ar**

Educational ain't I ?

Has that term not crossed the Atlantic ?

Was trying to explain swearing has it's place.

WAMOMMA · Post by **WAMOMMA** » Wed Oct 05, 2011 3:42 pm

I have a better question "Does anyone EVEN TALK to their children anymore?" My kid was bullied by two different kids the other night at our local "farm". One was 7 and the other was 6. My kid is 2. I was like WTF??? I almost beat them down....ok not really, but where were the damn parents???

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 7:03 am

Bruv;1371764 wrote: Educational ain't I ?

Has that term not crossed the Atlantic ?

Was trying to explain swearing has it's place.We know the term but prefer a** without the r...

But back to the point, you said that hairy ar**d males who swore didn't shock you compared to a proper gent. I was merely making an acute observation in questioning whether a single proper gentlemen existed whom possessed a hairy ar**.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:33 am

K.Snyder;1371827 wrote: We know the term but prefer a** without the r...

But back to the point, you said that hairy ar**d males who swore didn't shock you compared to a proper gent. I was merely making an acute observation in questioning whether a single proper gentlemen existed whom possessed a hairy ar**.

No I didn't say anything about proper gents. Many so called gentlemen swear like troopers, in male company.

I was referring to all male rather than mixed company, mixed company consisting of male and female both can be hirsute or hairy, but female hairiness does not count in this instance.

Not many males have donkeys, hairy or not, but most have hairy ar*es, hence the reference. I suppose the term arises due to the hormone that makes males manly and hairy as opposed to peach skinned ladies.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:47 am

Bruv;1371832 wrote: No I didn't say anything about proper gents. Many so called gentlemen swear like troopers, in male company.

I was referring to all male rather than mixed company, mixed company consisting of male and female both can be hirsute or hairy, but female hairiness does not count in this instance.

Not many males have donkeys, hairy or not, but most have hairy ar*es, hence the reference. I suppose the term arises due to the hormone that makes males manly and hairy as opposed to peach skinned ladies.I see... So all males swear subsequently to having a hairy ar**.

I suppose it's up to a current hypothesis as to whether one who shaved their ar** would ultimately cease to swear,..from the time they shaved their ar**

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:32 am

K.Snyder;1371834 wrote: I see... So all males swear subsequently to having a hairy ar**.

I suppose it's up to a current hypothesis as to whether one who shaved their ar** would ultimately cease to swear,..from the time they shaved their ar**

Why so literal ?

You are American aren't you ?

From the land that gave us "Collateral damage" and "Friendly fire"..........use your imagination man.

(You are a man aren't you ?)

Post by **jones jones** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:54 am

My old mother who was a lady thru and thru, used to say: "Breeding cannot be bought. You are either born with it or without it."

She would never venture into town without her gloves, would never raise her voice loud enough for the neighbors to hear, would remain seated inside an automobile until a "gentleman" opened the door for her and used to say that "only the lower classes used profanities in public."

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 12:32 pm

Living next door to a Primary school and having parents parked up collecting children, I can not believe what I hear sometimes. Not only four letter words but littered with Insults also. The screaming and shouting as well sometimes Is unbelievable.

I can honestly say that neither of my parents so much as raised their voices to us but then we respected our parents. Although they never raised their voices, there was one sentence my Mother used to say that could fill me with dread.... 'Your Father wants a word with you.'

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:04 pm

My Mother did not have to speak, one look was enough to strike fear into our souls.

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:20 pm

buttercup;1371856 wrote: My Mother did not have to speak, one look was enough to strike fear into our souls.

My Father had a look like that. The newspaper would be lowered slightly and he would peer over his specs with that raised eyebrow look.

Post by **spot** » Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:49 pm

I was reading aloud a couple of weeks ago, an essay which seems entirely relevant to this thread. There's a copy online at Edmund Gosse's Essay: The Whole Duty Of Woman if anyone would like a quiet ten minutes on the way any society regards the lowering of standards.

As Gosse says, "If each generation is decidedly wilder, more independent, more revolting, and more insolent than the one before, how exceedingly good people must have been four or five generations ago!".

The essay was first published in 1895.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Fri Oct 07, 2011 5:59 am

Bruv;1371841 wrote: Why so literal ?

You are American aren't you ?

From the land that gave us "Collateral damage" and "Friendly fire"..........use your imagination man.

(You are a man aren't you ?)Yes, I'm a man.

Ok, back to these hairy ar****...

I was just curious about something I was hoping you could educate me with...

I was just curious that if a man shaved his ar**, then he'd not swear...

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Oct 07, 2011 11:59 am

K.Snyder;1371920 wrote: Yes, I'm a man.

Ok, back to these hairy ar****...

I was just curious about something I was hoping you could educate me with...

I was just curious that if a man shaved his ar**, then he'd not swear...

A real man wouldn't shave his parts........anyway........... I refer you to my previous post.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 7:34 am

Bruv;1371972 wrote: A real man wouldn't shave his parts........anyway........... I refer you to my previous post.What if the hair around his parts was so thick that rendered his parts inaccessible, then wouldn't he be a real man for shaving them? Otherwise he'd be a very lonely "man"...

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 8:16 am

Bruv;1371740 wrote: The Eff word is used way too much these days................and I am glad to say it still shocks me......not amongst hairy ar**d males of course.

For my pedantic anally obsessed friend K.Snyder I think I shall rephrase my original post.

"The Eff word is used way too much these days................and I am glad to say it still shocks me......not amongst macho all male company of course, their status in society being inconsequential to the foulness of their language."

K.Snyder;1371992 wrote: What if the hair around his parts was so thick that rendered his parts inaccessible, then wouldn't he be a real man for shaving them? Otherwise he'd be a very lonely "man"...

I am concerned with your obsession with the hairiness of male private areas.

It would appear you pursue this topic as if teasing, but you still pursue it.

There appears to be humour in your mentioning it, but you still mention it over and over again.

The term was used in passing as a throw away phrase, not as the basis of discussion concerning whether hair or the lack of it switched a sweet talking gentleman into a foul mouth one.

Gentlemen secrete themselves to smoking rooms after dinner in order to use language more suited to male company, that is what 'gentlemen' do, no gentleman of my acquaintance has ever been known to discuss the hair or lack of it amongst other gentlemen, unless he had his own ungentlemanly agenda.

I would ask you as a male that enjoys other males playing with balls in a male dominated arena, what is your motive or fascination in this continued line of questioning ?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 9:15 am

Hairiness of male private parts?

See ? I go away for one day and this Is what happens.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 10:07 am

oscar;1372000 wrote: Hairiness of male private parts?

See ? I go away for one day and this Is what happens.

It's not me marm

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 12:30 pm

Children Learn What They Live (1998)

by Dorothy Law Nolte (1924 - 2005)

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Post by **spot** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:35 pm

spot;1371861 wrote: There's a copy online at Edmund Gosse's Essay: The Whole Duty Of Woman if anyone would like a quiet ten minutes on the way any society regards the lowering of standards.Did anyone, out of interest, read it?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:42 pm

spot;1372039 wrote: Did anyone, out of interest, read it?
Appears not..........

I did start......my attention span is not what it was................................far too heavy for me.....might try again sometime.......but I doubt it to be honest.......I did get the gist though.

Post by **spot** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:59 pm

Bruv;1372056 wrote: I did start......my attention span is not what it was.I counted. 1910 words. Ten paragraphs, a 10k textfile. The time was when people would learn something like that verbatim before breakfast just to wake up.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:15 pm

spot;1372060 wrote: I counted. 1910 words. Ten paragraphs, a 10k textfile. The time was when people would learn something like that verbatim before breakfast just to wake up.

Perhaps that is what is wrong with the world....................or life is too short.

To be fair.......as long in the tooth as I am.......I read a few paragraphs.....thought .........I get the drift......seen this before or similar.....and went on to new things.

Now.............. then there was a quote I have searched for......from Roman times....can't give dates.....I am that ignorant....says much the same....or similar, about how the youth of today are worthless, no standards etc.

What I gleaned from that was everything is alright ...................and not to worry.

So why do I have sleepless nights concerned about the worthless youth of today......and their attitudes ?

Post by **spot** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 5:44 pm

It was so hoary a bit of nonsense - comparing "the youth of today" with how much better it was in the past - that Aristophanes even parodied the twerps doing it.No boy used in those days to anoint himself below the navel; so that their bodies wore the appearance of blooming health. Nor used he to go to his lover, having made up his voice in an effeminate tone, prostituting himself with his eyes. Nor used it to be allowed when one was dining to take the head of the radish, or to snatch from their seniors dill or parsley, or to eat fish, or to giggle, or to keep the legs crossed.

Aristophanes, Clouds, line 961

There may well be a tendency in the old to misunderstand the world as they find it and to misrepresent the world of their youth but that's a joke about old age, not a joke about failing standards.

koan · Post by **koan** » Sat Oct 08, 2011 11:55 pm

It's a matter of inexperience. I was devastated by hearing mothers (more than one) stating how horrid their children make their lives after having lost my own infant. It was crushing upon hearing and ultimately just sad how little experience in the cruelty of life these women had to base their judgements on. Should they have lost a child to know how important their little creature was? I'm not sure I'm comfortable saying yes. Sure the litte one will suffer because they were born to someone so spoiled but... hey... they got to live.

K.Snyder · Post by **K.Snyder** » Sun Oct 09, 2011 12:32 am

Bruv;1371997 wrote: For my pedantic anally obsessed friend K.Snyder I think I shall rephrase my original post.

"The Eff word is used way too much these days................and I am glad to say it still shocks me......not amongst macho all male company of course, their status in society being inconsequential to the foulness of their language."

I am concerned with your obsession with the hairiness of male private areas.

It would appear you pursue this topic as if teasing, but you still pursue it.

There appears to be humour in your mentioning it, but you still mention it over and over again.

The term was used in passing as a throw away phrase, not as the basis of discussion concerning whether hair or the lack of it switched a sweet talking gentleman into a foul mouth one.

Gentlemen secrete themselves to smoking rooms after dinner in order to use language more suited to male company, that is what 'gentlemen' do, no gentleman of my acquaintance has ever been known to discuss the hair or lack of it amongst other gentlemen, unless he had his own ungentlemanly agenda.

I would ask you as a male that enjoys other males playing with balls in a male dominated arena, what is your motive or fascination in this continued line of questioning ?:yh_rotfl

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:37 am

Silence says more than any words could Mr K.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Oct 09, 2011 5:44 am

The quote I recall wasn't along the lines of Aristophanes.

It spoke of the use of bad language and disrespect, laziness and drunkenness.

Not unlike Peckham High st on a Saturday night 2011

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:37 pm

fuzzywuzzy;1371668 wrote: I heard something similar in a supermarket once . the mother was effing this and effing that to her three year old . I wasn't surprised when he spoke the same way to her when she said no to the lollies he wanted. Sad.
I can see him in 30 or 40 years, talking to her the same way, when she a little old woman and can't help herself, because he won't have any respect for her.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:38 pm

WonderWendy3;1371697 wrote: This happened in to me this weekend at a girlfriends house and she spoke to her child that way too...I was speechless, and I had a real tough time with what to say or do. I just kept my mouth shut (which is a challenge for me btw!). I have heard people in public talk to their children like that too and I gasp for air, look at them - everything but say something for the sake of a public brawl! It really upsets me that people don't realize how thier words and actions affect their children and others around them.

Your exactly right, and even more than that, the rest of us have to hear it too.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:40 pm

K.Snyder;1371734 wrote: Could be a form of dry humor the boy understands and appreciates, being called retarded that is.

Well judging from the hostile sound of her voice and the way she was screaming st the top of her lungs for him to hurry up, I don't think she was joking.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:48 pm

Bruv;1371997 wrote: For my pedantic anally obsessed friend K.Snyder I think I shall rephrase my original post.

"The Eff word is used way too much these days................and I am glad to say it still shocks me......not amongst macho all male company of course, their status in society being inconsequential to the foulness of their language."

I am concerned with your obsession with the hairiness of male private areas.

It would appear you pursue this topic as if teasing, but you still pursue it.

There appears to be humour in your mentioning it, but you still mention it over and over again.

The term was used in passing as a throw away phrase, not as the basis of discussion concerning whether hair or the lack of it switched a sweet talking gentleman into a foul mouth one.

Gentlemen secrete themselves to smoking rooms after dinner in order to use language more suited to male company, that is what 'gentlemen' do, no gentleman of my acquaintance has ever been known to discuss the hair or lack of it amongst other gentlemen, unless he had his own ungentlemanly agenda.

I would ask you as a male that enjoys other males playing with balls in a male dominated arena, what is your motive or fascination in this continued line of questioning ?

You guys are funny.

I have to say this thread took and unusual turn there for a while.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:49 pm

jones jones;1371843 wrote: My old mother who was a lady thru and thru, used to say: "Breeding cannot be bought. You are either born with it or without it."

She would never venture into town without her gloves, would never raise her voice loud enough for the neighbors to hear, would remain seated inside an automobile until a "gentleman" opened the door for her and used to say that "only the lower classes used profanities in public."
Your mother sounds a lot like my mother.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:52 pm

WAMOMMA;1371789 wrote: I have a better question "Does anyone EVEN TALK to their children anymore?" My kid was bullied by two different kids the other night at our local "farm". One was 7 and the other was 6. My kid is 2. I was like WTF??? I almost beat them down....ok not really, but where were the damn parents???

I was sitting at the school one day to pick up my little boy, hes in kindergarten, an announcement came over the speaker saying, a meeting of the anti-bully committe would be that day. Another woman and I just looked at each other and said...anti bully committee? theres no one in this school over the age of ten.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:53 pm

along-for-the-ride;1372012 wrote: Children Learn What They Live (1998)

by Dorothy Law Nolte (1924 - 2005)

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.

If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.

If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.

If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.

If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.

If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.

If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.

If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.

If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.

If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.

If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.

If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.

If children live with fairness, they learn justice.

If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.

If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.

If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

Thank you for posting this honey.....this is beautiful.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 03, 2011 1:56 pm

oscar;1372000 wrote: Hairiness of male private parts?

See ? I go away for one day and this Is what happens.

LOL I put this thread up and go away and look what happens. LOL :yh_rotfl

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Nov 04, 2011 1:50 pm

koan;1372075 wrote: It's a matter of inexperience. I was devastated by hearing mothers (more than one) stating how horrid their children make their lives after having lost my own infant. It was crushing upon hearing and ultimately just sad how little experience in the cruelty of life these women had to base their judgements on. Should they have lost a child to know how important their little creature was? I'm not sure I'm comfortable saying yes. Sure the litte one will suffer because they were born to someone so spoiled but... hey... they got to live.

I felt the same way all those years I was battling infertility...including a miscarriage... I would see people complaining about their children and wonder, do they realize how lucky they are?

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Fri Nov 04, 2011 1:53 pm

spot;1371861 wrote: I was reading aloud a couple of weeks ago, an essay which seems entirely relevant to this thread. There's a copy online at Edmund Gosse's Essay: The Whole Duty Of Woman if anyone would like a quiet ten minutes on the way any society regards the lowering of standards.

As Gosse says, "If each generation is decidedly wilder, more independent, more revolting, and more insolent than the one before, how exceedingly good people must have been four or five generations ago!".

The essay was first published in 1895.

My mother has always said something similiar.....her mother was super strict with them, she was strict with me but not as bad as her mother and apparantly I'm to soft on Jake from her point of view, shes always saying people are getting worsr acting with each generation.