Should You Punish Children for Accidents?

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:22 pm

Okay I'm in mother bear mode at the moment. My Jake came out of class crying. He said that they had juice and cupcakes for snack. He accidently spilled his juice so the teacher informed him that since he spilled his juice he couldn't have a cupcake. I have never punished him for a accident....I mean they're accidents..as in...not on purpose? So not only was he upset he was confused as well. I've emailed this teacher but she hasn't responded. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Post by **jones jones** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:33 pm

That is really really ugly of her Hope ... I mean its not like Jake is a teenager, he's still a baby!

Ahso! · Post by **Ahso!** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 2:54 pm

This is one of the many problems with our school system. You're bound to run into teachers whose values differ from yours. Often people defend the school system because of the so called social benefits, but that's bogus IMV because the social construct is shaped and controlled by other adults which you may or may not agree with. If OTOH the socialization was free of adult control beyond safety, I might consider the argument more meritorious.

Post by **spot** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:39 pm

How many days ago did it happen?

Do you make a payment for the snack?

Are you sure it was intended as a punishment - might there not be an alternative reason for not allowing the one without the other?

Post by **Oscar Namechange** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 3:50 pm

When I was a kid, If we didn't eat our dinner, we couldn't have the pudding. Mothers way of bribing us to eat the green stuff but this Is just mean.

Lon · Post by **Lon** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 5:18 pm

Hope6;1374963 wrote: Okay I'm in mother bear mode at the moment. My Jake came out of class crying. He said that they had juice and cupcakes for snack. He accidently spilled his juice so the teacher informed him that since he spilled his juice he couldn't have a cupcake. I have never punished him for a accident....I mean they're accidents..as in...not on purpose? So not only was he upset he was confused as well. I've emailed this teacher but she hasn't responded. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Is it possible that he spilled his drink while doing something else that he should not have, like running or being disorderly in some manner?

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:13 pm

Too much sugar, especially for little kids. I've got nothing to say about the incident, there might be more to the story.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:30 pm

Little kids will always be waaaay excited about getting a drink + cupcake! yeah of course one will spill his/her drink on his/her self or others. Accidents happen. Can't punish a child for an accident.

my mum always told me: You will get what you're given + like Oscar said: You can't have pud if you can't eat your dinner! lol

But on topic: No it's not right to punish a child for an accident. If they spill, tell them to calm down, sit down and enjoy cupcake and drink, but don't punish them.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:55 pm

jones jones;1374968 wrote: That is really really ugly of her Hope ... I mean its not like Jake is a teenager, he's still a baby!

Yes I have a problem with how this teacher seems to expect so much from these 5 year olds.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:56 pm

Ahso!;1374973 wrote: This is one of the many problems with our school system. You're bound to run into teachers whose values differ from yours. Often people defend the school system because of the so called social benefits, but that's bogus IMV because the social construct is shaped and controlled by other adults which you may or may not agree with. If OTOH the socialization was free of adult control beyond safety, I might consider the argument more meritorious.

Yes but theres a basic proper way of acting I think and depriving a child of food is not something I agree with.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:58 pm

spot;1374976 wrote: How many days ago did it happen?

Do you make a payment for the snack?

Are you sure it was intended as a punishment - might there not be an alternative reason for not allowing the one without the other?

It happened Thursday, but he was out sick Friday so I didn't get a chance to talk to her. It was a snack sent to the class by one of the parents.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 1:59 pm

oscar;1374980 wrote: When I was a kid, If we didn't eat our dinner, we couldn't have the pudding. Mothers way of bribing us to eat the green stuff but this Is just mean.

LOL I'm lucky that my mom didn't use that tactic or I wouldn't have ever got any dessert.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:00 pm

Lon;1374990 wrote: Is it possible that he spilled his drink while doing something else that he should not have, like running or being disorderly in some manner?

No they were packing up for the day and his backpack hit the cup while he was putting his stuff in it.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:04 pm

SnoozeAgain;1374994 wrote: Too much sugar, especially for little kids. I've got nothing to say about the incident, there might be more to the story.

Apparently when he spilled his juice there wasn't enough for him to have another cup so he said, thats alright I've got mine in my lunchbox, he started eating his snack I sent from home, so she says, she didn't give him a cupcake because she didn't think he'd have time to eat it all......which I find weird, if every child was supposed to get a cupcake, what did it matter if they didn't eat everything? He never eats all of his snack anyway. She didn't even ask him if he wanted one.....something doesn't sound right to me.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:05 pm

Chloe_88;1375090 wrote: Little kids will always be waaaay excited about getting a drink + cupcake! yeah of course one will spill his/her drink on his/her self or others. Accidents happen. Can't punish a child for an accident.

my mum always told me: You will get what you're given + like Oscar said: You can't have pud if you can't eat your dinner! lol

But on topic: No it's not right to punish a child for an accident. If they spill, tell them to calm down, sit down and enjoy cupcake and drink, but don't punish them.
Thats my thoughts exactly......but she says she didn't punish him....he says she told him, since he spilled his juice he couldn't have the cupcake, another child in the class actually agreed that it happeded the way Jake said it did.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 2:10 pm

Hope6;1375102 wrote: Thats my thoughts exactly......but she says she didn't punish him....he says she told him, since he spilled his juice he couldn't have the cupcake, another child in the class actually agreed that it happeded the way Jake said it did.

mmm not giving him a snack that was intended for all of the children sounds like punishment to me. Even if he couldn't finish the snack or whatever, give it to him or put in in his bag so he could have it later, and not be left out.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:09 pm

An accident like that can be a learning experience for a child. The teacher could have matter-of-factly discussed how the accident happened and how the child could prevent it from happening again. Then, they could have cleaned up the spill together and chat about what accidents are and that we all have accidents. We all just try to be more careful in the future. Then the teacher should have handed him the cupcake with a smile. End of story.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:56 pm

Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a broken record but do the children get sugary treats like that very often? Back in the prehistoric times when I was in grade school, sugar was limited to the nasty pudding they served at lunch and candy on Valentine's day... and that was always late in the day so we could go home and terrorize our families while on a sugar high. It's nice that someone's mom thought to treat the children to cupcakes but what about the overweight children that shouldn't eat pastry unless approved by their parents?

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:59 pm

Chloe_88;1375105 wrote: mmm not giving him a snack that was intended for all of the children sounds like punishment to me. Even if he couldn't finish the snack or whatever, give it to him or put in in his bag so he could have it later, and not be left out.

My thoughts exactly.....thank you.

btw let me say welcome to the garden.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:00 pm

along-for-the-ride;1375128 wrote: An accident like that can be a learning experience for a child. The teacher could have matter-of-factly discussed how the accident happened and how the child could prevent it from happening again. Then, they could have cleaned up the spill together and chat about what accidents are and that we all have accidents. We all just try to be more careful in the future. Then the teacher should have handed him the cupcake with a smile. End of story.

That's perfect.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:02 pm

SnoozeAgain;1375134 wrote: Sorry, I don't mean to sound like a broken record but do the children get sugary treats like that very often? Back in the prehistoric times when I was in grade school, sugar was limited to the nasty pudding they served at lunch and candy on Valentine's day... and that was always late in the day so we could go home and terrorize our families while on a sugar high. It's nice that someone's mom thought to treat the children to cupcakes but what about the overweight children that shouldn't eat pastry unless approved by their parents?

They have this sort of thing on every holiday. At the beginning of school this year we all got a form in with our other papers that I had to sign and send back, giving permission for my child to have any of the treats that they have during the year.

Snooz · Post by **Snooz** » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:51 pm

Man, I'm not sure about that carte blanche. Kids could have peanut allergies, gluten intolerance, or be in some weird religious sect... there are a bunch of reasons parents might not like their kids eating foreign foods. I realize I'm WAY off topic here but this seems weird to me.

Post by **Chloe_88** » Sat Nov 12, 2011 12:07 pm

Hope6;1375199 wrote: My thoughts exactly.....thank you.

btw let me say welcome to the garden.

Thanks for welcoming me back to FG

So just wondering, have you had time yet to talk to the teacher about this?

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Jan 11, 2012 2:35 pm

Chloe_88;1375420 wrote: Thanks for welcoming me back to FG

So just wondering, have you had time yet to talk to the teacher about this?

Just as a update.....the teacher said that when he spilled the juice there wasn't enough left for him to have another cup so he said, thats ok I can drink whats in my lunch box, she said he then started to eat some of his snack from his lunch box so she figured he wouldn't have time to eat it all, so she didn't give him a cupcake.....she didn't ask him if he wanted one, she just made that decision herself. I told another mother about this and she was furious...she said it if every child was supposed to have one then he should have one.....it didn't matter if he ate it or not.....it was about not making him feel left out.

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Wed Jan 11, 2012 2:36 pm

SnoozeAgain;1375208 wrote: Man, I'm not sure about that carte blanche. Kids could have peanut allergies, gluten intolerance, or be in some weird religious sect... there are a bunch of reasons parents might not like their kids eating foreign foods. I realize I'm WAY off topic here but this seems weird to me.

In the paperwork we get at the beginning of the year there is also a form for you to notify them if your child has any food allergies or whatever.