Apparently my son has one sometime this week. He came out of school incredibly angry today, saying that he'd tried to do the work. Seems his science teacher doesn't think he did enough writing so he's in detention.
Trouble is my son has aspergers, some days he's able to work other days he has zero attention span. Science is one of his favourite subjects but he had no TA with him today. He also has terrible fine motor skills, writing anything down is incredibly hard work for him, you have to see it to believe it, it's so frustrating for him and for any one trying to get the words out of him.
I'm frustrated with the school and the staff, they need a bomb under them, I keep resorting to thinking that he's just lazy and not bothered but when I speak to the psychiatric nurse (that the school referred him to and he doesn't actually need!! He's just hanging in alongside me to give me support because the school isn't!) he reminds me that a lot of tasks my son is being set are impossible for him to achieve and the school are not taking his condition into account.
Sadly my son is not considered bad enough to go to a special school, is it wrong to wish he was, just so he could be happy and secure in his learning, in surroundings where the staff actually understand how he works. At the moment all he has is a life full of anger and confusion, my sweet little lad is turning into an angry ball of fire with no self confidence who just thinks everyone thinks he is useless.
theia;1392773 wrote: That must be so difficult for you both, and unfair on you both.
If someone asked you what you think would help resolve this, what would you say?
Right now? take him out of that bloody school, they've never been consistent with his TA which is something he needs, they say it's not good for them. Balls, he works better with someone he likes and trusts and that takes time for an aspergers child to build up to. I've just realised that one other girl there has had the same TA for the whole time she's been there, maybe not every single lesson but she has her on a regular basis.
Betty Boop;1392774 wrote: Right now? take him out of that bloody school, they've never been consistent with his TA which is something he needs, they say it's not good for them. Balls, he works better with someone he likes and trusts and that takes time for an aspergers child to build up to. I've just realised that one other girl there has had the same TA for the whole time she's been there, maybe not every single lesson but she has her on a regular basis.
So, is there anyone at the school or on the periphery who can fight for that for you both? The psychiatric nurse maybe?
Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers...Rainer Maria Rilke
theia;1392776 wrote: So, is there anyone at the school or on the periphery who can fight for that for you both? The psychiatric nurse maybe?
Will have to go in tomorrow and start demanding to see people again. Just realised the six weekly meetings seem to have stopped. I unintentionally missed the last one, on the day I was at home with a poorly son, (they should have known that he wasn't at school) yet I received a phone call asking if I was going to attend five minutes before the meeting. They were met with confusion from me as I said that I had the meeting on the calendar in my phone for the following week, turned out one of the group had changed the date but only let two out of four people that should have been there know!
Do they not have special helpers for children that need it? They do here. They help them so they do not get frustrated. I feel the school is not doing enough for you child. They should be helping him not hurting him. Shame on the pshycologist for not helping. They should not give him detention.
theia;1392776 wrote: So, is there anyone at the school or on the periphery who can fight for that for you both? The psychiatric nurse maybe?
No, that person couldn't but finally the school called in an educational psychologist who only deals with Autistic children. Finally someone who spoke sense, someone who asked the same question of the school as me, 'what are six GCSE's going to do for my son? And her answer was the same as mine, absolutely pointless when he has very little life skills. Hopefully I will be pulling my son out of the school next summer, he's actually sixteen next year but has been running a year behind in school since he started at primary, so whilst he's not done the full time at school he will actually be at an age where I can remove him and he can hopefully start a college course that will be tailored to his needs rather than the schools current system of bending him to fit their needs.
I stupidly read his latest report, his form tutor, who has bugger all to do with my son on a day to day basis stated that my son is 'lazy', I'm waiting for the moment I will fire a letter back at him telling him why he shouldn't be teaching children in a school that takes in special needs children as he evidently has no idea at all what he is dealing with.
What specific things does the school provide to assist your son? I see you mentioned a TA, is that person present with him in the classroom, and on a daily basis?
I have inclusion students, and we need to provide for them according to their plans.
My suggestions for questions to ask when you go into a meeting:
1. A current copy of his plan, and check when it was last updated.
2. Is there a TA present, and asissting according to his plan? (Is it supposed to be daily, every other day, etc.)
3. How is his work modified-to meet his needs and the curriculum?
4. What can you do to help at home to complete work not finished in class, he should have extended time. That means the school should provide a time frame for completion-if it is 1 1/2, which is the usual suggestion, is this time provided at school? If not, all work should be able to be sent home to complete and return the next day. This is also pertinent for tests-if he has that extended time he needs it for any type of test: quiz, unit, etc.
Betty Boop;1413422 wrote: No, that person couldn't but finally the school called in an educational psychologist who only deals with Autistic children. Finally someone who spoke sense, someone who asked the same question of the school as me, 'what are six GCSE's going to do for my son? And her answer was the same as mine, absolutely pointless when he has very little life skills. Hopefully I will be pulling my son out of the school next summer, he's actually sixteen next year but has been running a year behind in school since he started at primary, so whilst he's not done the full time at school he will actually be at an age where I can remove him and he can hopefully start a college course that will be tailored to his needs rather than the schools current system of bending him to fit their needs.
I stupidly read his latest report, his form tutor, who has bugger all to do with my son on a day to day basis stated that my son is 'lazy', I'm waiting for the moment I will fire a letter back at him telling him why he shouldn't be teaching children in a school that takes in special needs children as he evidently has no idea at all what he is dealing with.
It's good to hear that you're finally getting some support
chonsigirl;1413429 wrote: What specific things does the school provide to assist your son? I see you mentioned a TA, is that person present with him in the classroom, and on a daily basis?
I have inclusion students, and we need to provide for them according to their plans.
My suggestions for questions to ask when you go into a meeting:
1. A current copy of his plan, and check when it was last updated.
2. Is there a TA present, and asissting according to his plan? (Is it supposed to be daily, every other day, etc.)
3. How is his work modified-to meet his needs and the curriculum?
4. What can you do to help at home to complete work not finished in class, he should have extended time. That means the school should provide a time frame for completion-if it is 1 1/2, which is the usual suggestion, is this time provided at school? If not, all work should be able to be sent home to complete and return the next day. This is also pertinent for tests-if he has that extended time he needs it for any type of test: quiz, unit, etc.
His plan is looked at and adjusted every year during the annual review. The school has been totally inconsistent with what to do with him, one year they decide to focus on handwriting, the next on typing, they have never stuck with any one thing for any length of time. He outputs work far better with a scriber, but no, he can't do that all the time, he has to write somehow. He can't, he can't sit and do as I am doing here, think what to say and just let the fingers move, there is a breakdown between thinking and being able to write those thoughts, all his attention has to shift to how to form the letters and words then in the meantime the thoughts of what to write have gone. It's an incredibly frustrating process and one that takes a lot of one to one encouragement. He doesn't get a one to one for every lesson, just some but that's more to do with funding than the school. One or two teachers adjust the work set for him, the rest don't and then label him lazy when he completes nothing. Homework is a nightmare, by the time you get him set up and then try to work out from the poorly described homework set in the diary and from him what he is meant to be doing an hour could have passed. He needs intensive one to one, how am I meant to provide that here with two other children, it's always a huge chunk of homework too, nothing is ever achievable so then he switches off. I don't have two to three hours an evening to be finishing off his work with him especially when the convincing him he needs to do it takes an hour in the first place, he's typical of a lot of autistic children, school is school, mum's house is mum's house and dad's house is dad's house, he doesn't talk of one when in another place, each world is boxed off. To tackle this issue the school started to keep him after school for an hour each week to get some of the work done, he's done none of that this last year as the night they set aside for him is the same night as he attends a youth club for asperger children and I collect him from school at the normal time to be able to get him fed and changed ready for his club. During the time he did stay after school he also had no one to one so therefore it was wasted time as he never did any work!
His music teacher is the only one that's been realistic, she told him she thought he wouldn't be able to do the GCSE but she said she was happy to have him in the lessons and she prepares work for him that he can achieve, the one and only teacher in a school of 900 pupils that seems to realise they are asking too much of him.
At the last review for the first time ever I was actually asked 'is the school meeting the needs of this pupil' to which I said 'no', I pointed out I'd never actually been asked that question before as a part of the review and she said no and changed the subject, she was also incredibly reluctant to mark the 'no' checkbox.
I was told that finally they have secured a TA who works with my son consistently, he's always had a huge number of different TA's thrown at him each week in the past which he finds confusing. I should be reassured by that but I'm not because my son doesn't like her, she shouts at him and that's one sure fire way for him to switch off and not listen. The whole situation is just exasperating, they seriously have no idea what to do with him and worry more about the fact he is failing and showing them up than the fact they are failing HIM!
A lot of the problem is also the fact he has to attend mainstream school, he's not considered severe enough to attend the special needs schools, but he's too severe to fit into mainstream school. It's about time the government looked at these issues again and realised hundreds of kids are not receiving the education they deserve.
He needs a different TA-they should never shout at a student, and a one on one should be the same person all day long who is compatible with him.
This is a major issue-mainstreaming is not a way to get a special needs student to achieve higher, if they need specific attention to disabilities. We are having similar problems here with this. I have up to 14 ESOL kids and then 5 special needs chidlren in one class, I have trouble addressing all their needs with a TA only once or twice a week. But I am specific with that TA, directing them which student needs to be in their group, and what to do.
chonsigirl;1413442 wrote: He needs a different TA-they should never shout at a student, and a one on one should be the same person all day long who is compatible with him.
This is a major issue-mainstreaming is not a way to get a special needs student to achieve higher, if they need specific attention to disabilities. We are having similar problems here with this. I have up to 14 ESOL kids and then 5 special needs chidlren in one class, I have trouble addressing all their needs with a TA only once or twice a week. But I am specific with that TA, directing them which student needs to be in their group, and what to do.
What amazes me is these TA's are recruited and they often have no idea or experience of Autism. Why aren't the children allowed to take part in the interview, we all know if you put an adult with a child that the child just does not connect with that adult is going to get very few results from the child. One of his primary teachers had no idea what to do with my son at the start of term and he told me so, we talked and he researched the condition, it turned out to be the best year he had at primary and he still views that teacher with high regard. I'd rather be told they don't know what to do or how to approach my son and I'd happily discuss things with them but this secondary school have always laid his non achievement at my feet no questions asked :rolleyes:
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Betty, it sounds as if your schools are still segregated by "needs". Ours aren't anymore, and I've found that the more that the teachers are exposed, educated, and trained, the more compassion they develop for special needs kids, which results in them being more flexible and trying new things. Not all teachers do, of course, but many. For those special needs kids who need extra help for whatever reason, we have classes with two teachers (one subject teacher and one special ed who is qualified to teach that subject). In addition, we have special classrooms for those who can't succeed in general education classes, but even they are on the same campus with everyone else.
That doesn't help you at all with your situation, though. Hopefully this will:
Asperger Syndrome | What is Autism? | Autism Speaks
This site has tons of information you can give to the teachers and tons of support you can get for yourself. In my experience, often the parents need a psychiatric nurse as much as the kids do, so that they can cope with the demands of raising a child who has special needs. I hope you and your son find the help you need.
