adoption

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Fri Aug 05, 2005 8:13 pm

i have posted this before, months ago. can't find it right now. anyone here have adoption experience? i met my only daughter when she was grown and had a baby. we are the best of friends. and we are so alike it is uncanny. we went on OPRAH together in a show called 'synchronicity'. are you adopted? have you given a child for adoption? when i did i was 17 and a kid going to college. and the times were different. i know i am not the only person here who believes in adoption. do you have a story?

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:24 am

fAR...GOD BLESS, adoption is a high calling. the lovely people who adopted my daughter could not have been better parents, and her Mom and i became friends 30 years later, in mutual appreciation. we joined together one day to give her away at her wedding. can i say more?

venus · Post by **venus** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 2:32 pm

wow what a story!

I think putting your child up fpr adoption is one of the most selfless things you can do

I admire you lady cop for being so open to the experience you had, maybe it will help others out in what must have been a tough decision.

You keep surprising me as l read through this forum. Lady your unique, hope that Englishmen of yours knows it.

Cant wait to have you in my fair country:o

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 3:56 pm

Venus...thankyou...it was not an easy thing. my Dad arranged where she would go and never told because he was a man of honor...but the day we met i looked heavenward and understood. ...and yes my Englishman knows, and when i go there i am the privileged one. you are very kind. and have a new friend.

nvalleyvee · Post by **nvalleyvee** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 4:02 pm

My 2 youngest brothers are adopted. I was surprised when my parents started bringing home babies when I was a teenager but I thought it was cool.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sat Aug 06, 2005 8:59 pm

I have a nephew. He should be around 22 I think.

conanscaseclosed · Post by **conanscaseclosed** » Sun Aug 14, 2005 2:19 am

I have a beautiful girl who is 17 now. I picked her parents out of a few couples that meet certian requirments I had. We had a little ceremony in the hospital, and I was able to spend those few day with her.

I wonder about her all the time, but never regrett my decision. Her Mother is still insecure about me seeing her. I feel sorry for her to feel that way. Especially after so many years.

I fully believe in adoption. It is a wonderful thing to not be able to have a child of your own and recieve the gift of a child newly born.

There are so many children out there of all ages that need good loving families as well. If I had the means I would adopt.

I pray that the adoption process goes smoothly for any serious about adoption.

rainbowsmiles · Post by **rainbowsmiles** » Mon Aug 15, 2005 7:39 am

I'm not adopted and I've never adopted (though I would love to) but I just wanted to say that I think all of the stories here are so beautiful!

I know of people who have adopted outside of the country but not inside the U.S. Good luck to those considering adoption! Babies and children are all wonderful!

lilahnee · Post by **lilahnee** » Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:06 am

I am adopted. I met by birthmother about 7 years ago, but unfortunately did not have a good experience like you did. She and I are total opposites in personality, philosophy, physical appearance......like night and day...........She is very self-centered, materialistic, and judgmental which made me take an instant dislike to her. I chose not to have any contact with her after a few visits even though she lives just 50 miles away. My adoptive mother will always be mom.

Lilahnee

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:09 am

today is my daughter's birthday. (jan.7) she is registered here as christinaP, but doesn't post, she's too busy with work and kids. but i want to wish her a happy birthday. and say she has always been loved.

Attached files

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 5:54 am

I have a brother and sister of Korean descent who are adopted. My parents adopted them while on a mission trip, and came home first with my brother while the papers were being filed for my sister. Oh we were overjoyed to have more kids in the family-it rounded the number up to 6 of us! It was so much fun growing up and learning from each other. And when my adopted brother was in his 30s, he went back to Korea and found his real mother and brought her here to live out the last few years of her life in comfort. We had many enjoyable years with 2 moms present at family occassions, and adoption just leads to more and more love being spread around.

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:02 am

you have that right Chonsi...when my daughter got married her adoptive Mom and i walked her down the aisle. it was a beautiful moment. my sons, her brothers, were there too. love all around.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 6:06 am

Love of the child, from all the parents and family members, make it so special. I never could afford to adopt a child of my own, since I was a single mother of 4 for so many years. But I always sponsor a child from somewhere in the world, and write to them and send them presents. It still is a way of showing love to a child that needs it.

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sat Jan 07, 2006 10:23 am

My mum had a baby by a Canadian airman in 1945 while my dad was away in the army in Europe. Dad had been away since 1940 ...I guess she was lonely, and I would never pass judgement ...who knows what people went through during WW2. I didn't know about Colin until I was about 14...he was 15 then. My brother and sister knew what happened... they were born in 1937 and 1939, but never spoke to me about it until there was an 'accidental' meeting at my uncles in the 1990s.. My Mum was staying with my brother for Christmas and they had gone to my uncles for a surprise visit.

Colin was sent to Dr Banardos when he was a baby and lived with foster parents ...apparently Mum didn't want him adopted. He lived near my Uncle in Ipswich who was his family contact all his life. After the accidental meeting, my brother kept in touch with him ...it was he who told me. I tried to taklk to my Mum, but because she was so ashamed, she refused to talk to me about it, even all those years later, and in a more enlightened era.(she was in her 80s then)

However, I met Colin at my mums funeral...he's an OK guy, but contrary to all these TV progammes where people meet their long lost kin and show lots of love and emotion, I didn't have any feelings what so ever. i really wanted it to be like the emotional reunions you see, but it didn't happen. Too many years wasted I guess. We write occasionally and send Christmas Cards.

There is much that I don't know, and never will now.

HelloGal · Post by **HelloGal** » Mon Jan 23, 2006 11:03 pm

I am adopted and I plan on adopting in the process of adopting a 1 and half year old now.

I want a newborn to adopt their is almost nothing you can not do with an adopted child that you can not do with your own. Espically a newborn. Who knows how many kids I will adopt I love them all. I want a newborn so I can breastfeed. 1-6 months makes for the most successful. I would love to share that bond with my next child. I think adoption is beautiful and really the love that you have is no diffrent then your from your own children. I love my birth mom and my adopted mom. I also want an open adoption to keep ties with birth family I think that is a better salution. My DD will always know her Birth mom and even have her pictures she will never be lied to ever.

Bothwell · Post by **Bothwell** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 1:59 am

We have had these threads up before, I was interested with Arnold's point, I know some of you have had very positive meetings post adoption (LC in particular) but it does not always work like that. IMO the new laws either passed or about to pass here in the UK which gives natural mothers the RIGHT to trace the children they gave up is plain wrong, if the child wants to fine.

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:03 am

Bothwell wrote: We have had these threads up before, I was interested with Arnold's point, I know some of you have had very positive meetings post adoption (LC in particular) but it does not always work like that. IMO the new laws either passed or about to pass here in the UK which gives natural mothers the RIGHT to trace the children they gave up is plain wrong, if the child wants to fine.

Here in Alberta, we just past legislation to open up adoption records to both sides. However it is both parties choice if they wish to be contacted. I do have to wonder with this new age of internet if there isn't some how a back door route people can take now to find either their birh mother or surrendered child.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 9:36 am

I think both the child and bio-parent should want to be found before either is allowed to search.

I guess adoptive parents still lie to their kids, refusing/avoiding to tell them they were adopted. How should that come into play?

minks · Post by **minks** » Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:43 am

Accountable wrote: I think both the child and bio-parent should want to be found before either is allowed to search.

I guess adoptive parents still lie to their kids, refusing/avoiding to tell them they were adopted. How should that come into play?
As to your first statement I agree, in Alberta it is a province wide registry, if you give a child up for adoption you are automatically put on this list, if you do not want to be on this list you ask to be removed. The surrendered child also has the option to be put onto this list at a certain age, I believe 18. Surrendered children of course can search at anytime.

Parents have funny ideas about protecting their children.