A platitude about the USA.

[gordonartist]

This was sent to me by a dear friend in New Orleans. It's amusing, but you can see that it is easy to limit one's thinking to stereotypes.

As we all know, sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it

may be time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some

tips.



You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where.....



1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in

the toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face

when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING

ME??!!



You can Live in California where...



1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long

it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.



You can Live in New York City where...



1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus

Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3.You think Central Park is "nature,"

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language

makes you multi-lingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.



You can Live in Maine where...



1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and

construction.



You can Live in the Deep South where...



1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense. (Ray's favorite!!! Often

used in Baltimore.)

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty

Jean, MARY BETH, etc.



You can live in Colorado where..



1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he

stops at the senior center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.



You can live in the Midwest where...



1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was

different!"



AND You can live in Florida where..



1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. And a superb

plastic surgeon.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and snowbirds.

Take care,

Gordon.

[chonsigirl]

I miss those artichokes....................yummy!

[gordonartist]

Many years ago we explored Australia for 6 months. It was quite an experience.

One day when driving through Exmouth in WA we met a car driving on the wrong side of the road and without a driver!

There was a US base nearby and it was a US car.

[Nomad]

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in

the toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face

when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING

ME??!!







How crappy is this ?

Who likes this ?

[gordonartist]

Perhaps you had better find the author. It wasn't me.

Sometimes it is just too easy to use stereotypes.

Take care,

Gordon.

[Nomad]

I meant the weather Gordon. The hot hot weather. I have an aversion to oven like weather.