Should I contact my Dad?

Hugh Janus · Post by **Hugh Janus** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 3:35 pm

Wishing you all the best. Wish I had another chance to do the same.

Take it as it comes Mark. Hope it all works out right in the end.

papaboo951 · Post by **papaboo951** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:04 pm

Yes, contact your dad. The past is over. If you stay in the past, you have no future. If he's rude, so what. You made the move, he didn't. And you'll feel good about yourself. Go for it and bury the past.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:10 pm

Uncle Kram wrote: Thanks OM.

My friends are what make me tick. It means a lot to me that everyone has taken the time and trouble and been thoughtful enough to give me something to think about.

I have elected to pursue reunion for now. This does not mean that kind advice to the contrary was dismissed. It may yet have validity.

Would have been interesting to have been a fly-on-the-wall at the Old Mans when he put the phone down. Watch this space folks.
Good luck, my friend. As everyone else has said, walk only forward. I'm pulling for ya.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:24 pm

I just remembered this old thread of mine

For those of you who have seen it previously, you can now read the opening post from that thread in context. It was written in the 15 year period we didn't see each other

"Krammys Living Years"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started writing song lyrics when I joined my brothers band in 1979. It seemed my duty as the singer, and as my brother is an incredible musician we churned out a lot of stuff together.

I was eventually asked to join another band and our co-writing ended. I carried on in my new band but it wasn't until a few years later that I learned to play the guitar and started writing my own stuff, none of which is spectacular I hasten to add. I know there are some other songwriters in here and maybe they can post some creations.

These lyrics are from a song I wrote in 1993. Not the best I've ever written, but certainly the most personal, and a departure from the normal boy-meets-girl, falls-in-love, laments-lost-love themes of the genre.

My mate who I recorded this with calls it "Krammys Living Years" but as I love "The Living Years" by Mike & the Mechanics, my offering is vastly inferior, but......it is mine. You'll have to make up your own tune

SHED SOME LIGHT

For you the Autumn leaves are fallin'

Winter's comin' on

Here I am just half your age

Still walkin' in the Summer sun

No-one lives forever

And every Winter ends

Time's runnin' out but still it's not

Too late for us to make amends

I watched you laying funeral flowers

Bid a generation goodbye

Had no time for the livin'

And it made me wonder why

Many years the war's been over

Nobody really won

There are still so many things

That dying's gonna leave undone

Come on tell me

What was it really all about?

Where did it go wrong ?

Why is it that some people

Just can't seem to get along?

Shed some light, shed some light

You have all the answers

That will tell me what I need to know

Shed some light, won't you shed some light?

Tell me what I need to know

I watch my kids grow up too fast

We're bonded in the heart

No guilt or misunderstanding

Keepin' us apart

My father and children are strangers

Orbiting round the sun

You live in your world, they live in mine

Wonderin' what they have done

They keep askin'

What was it really all about?

Where did it go wrong ?

Why is it that some people

Just can't seem to get along?

Shed some light, shed some light

You have all the answers

That will tell me what I need to know

Shed some light, won't you shed some light?

Tell me what I need to know

Tell me what I need to know

I have a home and family now

And I'm a man these days

Sometimes you catch me unawares

And I see you in my ways

You're in my blood and in my head

And in my life no more

And I know that you will never come

To knock upon my door

I know that you will never come

What was it really all about?

Where did it go wrong ?

Why is it that some people

Just can't seem to get along?

Shed some light, shed some light

You have all the answers

That will tell me what I need to know

Shed some light, shed some light

Answers you can give will surely

Tell me what I need to know

Shed some light, shed some light

Why do people have to fight?

Won't somebody shed some light?

Please shed some light

You see the boy and not the man

Don't you wonder who I am?

Please shed some light

Please shed some light

Please shed some light

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:28 pm

Have you ever shown your Dad those lyrics Unc??

I think you should. :-4

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 4:39 pm

They're not so bad, Unc. In fact, they're very good. And being they're from the heart, very poignant. I think a lot of sons and fathers could identify and find some truth in there.

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:39 pm

If I had kids, maybe I'd try again.

Thanks for the lyrics, Unc.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 5:56 pm

Kram, those lyrics gave me goosebumps. Wow. Great stuff. :guitarist

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 6:00 pm

Uncle Kram wrote: Watch this space folks.
Like you could keep me away!!

I'm glad to see you've come to a decision, Unc, and really, even if it doesn't work out the way you'd hoped, you will know in your heart that YOU have made every effort possible and knowing that you should find some peace. If you 'd given up without trying, you may have always wondered, "what if?" Good for you, and I hope you get the outcome you want.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Mon Jul 24, 2006 11:51 pm

Betty Boop wrote: Have you ever shown your Dad those lyrics Unc??

I think you should. :-4

I haven't shown him the lyrics, but he did have a CD of some of my tunes. I doubt if he even played it, and if he did, he probably wouldn't have picked it up, but who knows?

Maybe I should have recorded it in the style of Jim Reeves

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 7:07 am

sending you lots of love and hugs! :-4 :yh_hugs

And, I love your song! :-6

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 10:19 am

Oh Mark

Those words have such meaning

and come straight from your heart

They made me ache for you

'Tis a beautifully written sentiment, my friend. :-4

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:18 pm

Helefra. That was a very brave and candid post. My condolences go out to you.:-4

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:24 pm

OpenMind wrote: Helefra. That was a very brave and candid post. My condolences go out to you.:-4

I agree.

Hugs to you. :-6

Nomad · Post by **Nomad** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 2:33 pm

I frequently borrow this from a very lovely woman. (Theia)

Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers

OpenMind · Post by **OpenMind** » Tue Jul 25, 2006 2:37 pm

Nomad wrote: I frequently borrow this from a very lovely woman. (Theia)

Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answers

That is a very poignant sig line. I've always admired it.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:01 am

helefra wrote: I'm not going to tell you whether to make contact with your dad or not but I just want to share a story of mine that perhaps may help you in some way.

When I was a young thing, my dad tried it on with me once and when I told my mum, the police were involved, etc. Unfortunately there was no substantive evidence so the case was dropped. However, I still cared about my dad (just like you do) and visited him from time to time when he had moved out of the family home. My dad is a drinker and doesn't care about anyone but himself. He comes across as a friendly person and to everyone but when he talks to you on your own, he can really put you down.

As time moved on, I was with a boyfriend at the time and was living too far to visit my dad as regular as I used to. I got a job in 1992 working for Pontins which meant I was away for approximately 9 months and regularly wrote to my dad as well as my ex-boyfriend. Eventually I got fed up of writing letters to people because I was never getting a response, I never even got a response from my dad. However, my dad would welcome me if I did go to visit him but he would never write a letter to me or call me. So whilst I was working at Pontins, I made a decision, I decided I would write my dad one last letter and if I received no reply then I would disconnect from him. I felt that it was not worth visiting him or calling him if he couldn't be bothered to visit or write to me whilst I was at Pontins.

During all the time that I visited and wrote to him before I started work at Pontins, he never visited me or wrote to me. I must have spent a lot of money trying to get a communication from him (although money is never an issue when it is family). However, the hardest part for anyone who is close to a parent is having to let go because there is always that connection there. It was easy for me to let go of my dad probably because I lived at a distance from him and I had no strong bonding there.

I hope that my story has given you something to think about and good luck in what you decide.

Thanks mate. Sounds like it's been tough for you. That's the thing with bonds - weak or strong, they're still there but glad you were able to square this in your head:yh_hugs

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:21 am

Well I haven't heard a dicky bird in the 3 weeks since I phoned my Dad, but intelligence reports indicate chatter and a reconnaisance mission to my house yesterday, where it was noted that my hanging basket had seen better days

My ex-wife sent me a text yesterday to say that my Dad was round at her house (yeah - I knew you'd be surprised) and that I should go in when I went to pick my daughter up. He left half an hour before I got there but apparently, there were murmurings of a visit so who knows. The indicators are that they may "pop" round when they visit my ex. It would never do to make all that effort merely to come and see me now would it?

I will have no news to tell them if they ever turn up though as they get a full de-briefing of all occurrences in my life from my ex. They will know I'm off to my brothers rescheduled Birthday bash tomorrow, and out of the country the weekend after so I don't expect a call imminently. Watch this space folks.

chonsigirl · Post by **chonsigirl** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 10:25 am

You tried you best Unc', it is his loss, not yours.

How is your ankle today?

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 12:33 pm

As chonsi said Unc.....his loss...you deserve better, but you have plenty of people who love you :-4

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sat Aug 19, 2006 1:21 pm

You tried and your Dad didn't, wouldn't or can't respond.

Its not you Kram it is him who can't step up to the plate. In time who knows he may eventually have a change of heart.. I'm so sorry you have to feel this pain, but we love you :-4

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 3:34 am

Uncle Kram wrote: The indicators are that they may "pop" round when they visit my ex. It would never do to make all that effort merely to come and see me now would it?
This could be major, Unc. You know how we men, especially the older generation, have trouble expressing feelings & such. This may have been the best he could muster. If anybody teases him with "So you DO really love 'im!" he'd probably pop back into his shell.

If he shows up, and you really want that relationship, I recommend following his lead - he'll probably act as if he were there last week rather than long ago. Wait awhile before starting any deep conversations. That is, if you want to have more than one.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Sun Aug 20, 2006 7:54 am

Uncle Kram wrote: Watch this space folks.

I'll be watching, my friend :-4

And I think you're wonderful :-6

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:54 pm

Well folks, the news is as you may have expected. No visit has been forthcoming despite the promise of one in last years Christmas card.

An interesting development though is that I received this years Christmas card today. Not entirely sure what to make of it. It hints at interest but offers a feeble excuse from someone who lives 15 miles away and is retired from working.

It's content, which is more than usual is this:

Hello Mark,

Merry Christmas & a happy new year. Hope you are keeping well. We think of you often. Sorry we have not been to see you but we had a hectic year what with one thing and another. Hope to see you soon

All the very best for Christmas

Dad & Pauline

Visits have been made to my ex-wifes house 1.9 miles away from me throughout the year, and another visit is planned to drop Christmas presents off. Whether or not I'm worthy of a detour remains to be seen......again.

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 12:57 pm

Uncle Kram;485247 wrote: Whether or not I'm worthy of a detour remains to be seen......again.

Unc

I have no doubt in my mind that you are worthy

I do, however, wonder if he is

Love to you :-4

Red · Post by **Red** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 1:03 pm

I cant really advise whether you contact ur dad or not babe as its got to be ur choice, i can only say how id react and tbh uve done a lot more than i probably would have, it must be so destroying to constantly feel as if ur banging ur head against the wall. Thing is how long can you go on always being the one willing to try?

big hugs :yh_hugs

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 1:17 pm

Unc...I admire you for all that you've been through. Keep your head held high!

I am familiar with your situation, never lived it, my ex for 15 years has a Dad just like yours, he lives 15 min. away and NEVER calls or sees his grandchildren, unless we invite him. Since my divorce I haven't seen him, 3-4 years and either have my children. He treated my Ex similar as a child as you were treated. The sad thing is that My Ex is following in his foot-steps. My children refuse to ask anything of their father, depend solely on Me and my family, because who they've grown to depend on due to their fathers' absence. He lives close and only sees them when it's conveinient for him.

I didn't want this to become a post about me or the EX, just wanted to convey that my heart goes out to you. I know the pain and alot of people have given you good advice. The point about not having him around forever...that is the truth, and I've experienced that as well, it's very painful to lose someone that rejected you during their life and then looking at them in the casket, knowing you don't have a second chance.

Big HUGS to YOU!!:yh_hugs :yh_hugs, a whole bunch of 'em!!

Post by **Betty Boop** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:39 pm

:-4 n :yh_hugs's to you Krammy

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 5:53 pm

Uncle Kram;485247 wrote: Well folks, the news is as you may have expected. No visit has been forthcoming despite the promise of one in last years Christmas card.

An interesting development though is that I received this years Christmas card today. Not entirely sure what to make of it. It hints at interest but offers a feeble excuse from someone who lives 15 miles away and is retired from working.

It's content, which is more than usual is this:

Hello Mark,

Merry Christmas & a happy new year. Hope you are keeping well. We think of you often. Sorry we have not been to see you but we had a hectic year what with one thing and another. Hope to see you soon

All the very best for Christmas

Dad & Pauline

Visits have been made to my ex-wifes house 1.9 miles away from me throughout the year, and another visit is planned to drop Christmas presents off. Whether or not I'm worthy of a detour remains to be seen......again.Mark, he's a man. Consider him as a man for a moment - just another adult male.

Is he someone you'd want as a friend? I ask because it's truly too late for him to be Da'.

I'm sending all the good thoughts I can. Value yourself, and your family. You're time and love are worth too much to spend on a one-way relationship. Turn that toward your artist son. :-6

guppy · Post by **guppy** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 10:56 pm

uncle kram, so sorry you are going through this. i have a similar problem with my dad. he lives four houses down from me. he makes no effort to contact me. wont come to my house. the only way i can see him is to always be the one going out of my way to cater to him. i have not seen him in over six months now....i got tired of it.....being raised by him is why i always end up giving way more than i get in a relationship......had enough. if he can't be a man and make an effort then , oh well, ......i have spent the last week watching him help a neighbor build a house in front of me. he doens't even look this way..........all i can say is do what ever hurts you the least....for me, it is healthier to avoid my dad...............

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 1:12 am

Accountable;485651 wrote: Mark, he's a man. Consider him as a man for a moment - just another adult male.

Is he someone you'd want as a friend? I ask because it's truly too late for him to be Da'.

I'm sending all the good thoughts I can. Value yourself, and your family. You're time and love are worth too much to spend on a one-way relationship. Turn that toward your artist son. :-6

Strip away the blood bond Acc, and there would be nothing in particular that would make him a friend. He might as well be any old man I might talk to when I'm out and about. My kids are the centre of my universe and you are right that they should receive my full time and love. I was moved by my daughters Christmas card to me which read:

Dad

I can't believe how lucky I am to have you. Not an hour goes by where I don't think about you and what you're up to. I have never cared about someone as much as I do you. You are my BEST friend Dad. You understand me like no-one else and I love that I can tell you anything and I can trust you with anything. It's such a cliche saying I have the best Dad in the world...but I really have. All my love Pops. Lauraxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

My son doesn't do cards, but he's pretty much singing from the same Hymn sheet. Just as well I guess if they're choosing the home to put me in when I'm an old 'un.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 3:36 am

Krammy -:yh_hugs :yh_hugs we think you're great, your kids think you're great, your brother thinks you're great - this many people can't be wrong!!

I think the only thing you can do now is let your Dad know that you will always welcome him to your home. Ultimately you cannot force him to be the father you deserve all you can do is be the son he doesn't deserve and then when he's gone I hope you have no regrets.

:-4

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:11 am

Unc :-4

That card from Laura was so beautiful. I'm so happy you have such a wonderful daughter. And son. And brother.

Give your love and attention to those in your life who return the glorious favor :-6

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 5:41 am

Uncle Kram;485879 wrote: Strip away the blood bond Acc, and there would be nothing in particular that would make him a friend. He might as well be any old man I might talk to when I'm out and about. My kids are the centre of my universe and you are right that they should receive my full time and love. I was moved by my daughters Christmas card to me which read:

Dad

I can't believe how lucky I am to have you. Not an hour goes by where I don't think about you and what you're up to. I have never cared about someone as much as I do you. You are my BEST friend Dad. You understand me like no-one else and I love that I can tell you anything and I can trust you with anything. It's such a cliche saying I have the best Dad in the world...but I really have. All my love Pops. Lauraxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

My son doesn't do cards, but he's pretty much singing from the same Hymn sheet. Just as well I guess if they're choosing the home to put me in when I'm an old 'un.
Well there you go, then. Dr Laura says you have 2 chances at a parent-child relationship, one as a child the other as a parent. You've made your second chance a real winner. Be proud! :-6

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Thu Dec 14, 2006 6:18 am

Uncle Kram;485247 wrote: Well folks, the news is as you may have expected. No visit has been forthcoming despite the promise of one in last years Christmas card.

An interesting development though is that I received this years Christmas card today. Not entirely sure what to make of it. It hints at interest but offers a feeble excuse from someone who lives 15 miles away and is retired from working.

It's content, which is more than usual is this:

Hello Mark,

Merry Christmas & a happy new year. Hope you are keeping well. We think of you often. Sorry we have not been to see you but we had a hectic year what with one thing and another. Hope to see you soon

All the very best for Christmas

Dad & Pauline

Visits have been made to my ex-wifes house 1.9 miles away from me throughout the year, and another visit is planned to drop Christmas presents off. Whether or not I'm worthy of a detour remains to be seen......again.

I've heard this quite a lot recently from male friends of mine, and have come to the conclusion that the father/Child relationship can be a difficult one.

I have seen my own father only 4 times in 10 years - there was no argument, he just hasn't bothered, and I don't see the point in fiegning interest. 2 of the visits were after an operation earlier this year, and I got an insight into his regrets.

This is a pattern that seems to be repeated in many families (including my bfs)

Until my father had children of his own, the only insight he had into parenting was from his own parents, who were very 'stiff upper lip' and thought children should be seen and not heard. He did not have a good relationship with his parents, and therefore being a 'good' father did not come naturally to him.

He has changed in his old age, and appears to have developed some regrets, and whilst he has made 'some' effort to try to foster a relationship with me, he still doesn't have the skills necessary, so the relationship remains stilted.

Kram - It could be that your father wants to develop a relationship with you, but doesn't know how. This would also marry with the fact that he communicated with violence when you were a child, rather than words, or hugs. He simply may not know how! He may be seeing your ex wife as a means to keep the ties there, and feels that this relationship, does'nt make him feel his shortcomings so sharply.

My suggestion would be that you continue to make at least the same effort as him. Sent him a Christmas card with a letter in, saying that you're sorry he didn't get round to seeing you, and that you would love to see him this year if his schedule permits.

Suggest that perhaps the next time he sees your ex-wife he could pop round to see you at the same time.......

It's difficult to try to know how to handle a relationship with only one person communicating, but you should continue to try, lest in your dotage, you have regrets.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 11:47 am

Well here I am again venting in this tired old thread.

As you will probably know, I'm at home in my third week off after my knee operation and near as damn it back to normal. I just had a phone call off my ex-wife who said that my Dad and his wife are going round to visit her tomorrow and did I want to go and see him. I've always managed to be mild-mannered and calm with this whole thing but for some reason, it just suddenly made my blood boil and I found myself uncharacteristically raising my voice. Very unusual considering the domineering personality of my ex.

I asked why yet again it would have to be me who did the running to him (and on her turf). I pointed out that in 3Â½ years he has never thought enough of me to come and see me. She said he'd only visited her 3 times in that period as they were "old". That's just total bullsh1t. I know for a fact it's into double figures, a fact verified by Laura when I spoke to her after her Mom.

She said I couldn't expect my Dad to do the visiting and come all over this way. (Can you believe that?). I reminded her that if they came 20 miles over here, he still never ventured the extra 1.9 miles to my house, or before I moved here, the extra hundred yards to my old house. I reiterated that in all that time he had failed to demonstrate anything that indicated he had anything invested in our relationship.

I know that my ex played a part in creating this situation by lying and painting me in a bad light to keep her father-figure. It seems ironic that as we now get on quite well, she's trying to unravel things to effect a reconciliation, as the invitation demonstrates, but the damage is done. I have said all along that if I'd been unfaithful in my marriage, beaten my ex, been a criminal or generally a bad person, I would STILL have expected my Dad to be loyal to ME.

As it stands, with the help and support of my RL and FG friends, I have squared this in my head now. I made multiple efforts, he made none. I have no reason to reproach myself for a lack of effort. I know I'm not a bad person. I know I'm worthy of the pride my Mom has in me. I know I have the adulation of my kids.

I found myself uncharacteristically blunt and cold and just said if he wanted to see me, he knows where I live...with traffic considered, about 3 or 4 minutes from my ex-wifes house. If he's a no-show tomorrow, I will finally draw a line under this sorry saga for good. There was a time I guess that I hoped he would come. Now I couldn't give a sh1t.

Vent over...and we are now returning to your regular program.

Imladris · Post by **Imladris** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:02 pm

Don't blame you at all for feeling a bit fed up with the whole situation.

You were the child and he was the adult, it was up to him to ensure that the two of you had a good realtionship in the way that you have done with your kids (Laura is lovely by the way!).

I think you have done the right thing in saying how you feel - resentment builds otherwise and results in even more of an explosion!

You've got the wonderful Mamma Kram and your kids, it's his loss more than yours.

Hugs to you xx

Elvira · Post by **Elvira** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:02 pm

There comes a time when you really have to put your own sanity first.

I did this with my sister. She's a Dr of Genetics, and spent years putting me down in every possible way. In the end, I said that there were plenty of people in my life who loved me and valued me, and I really don't need her in any capacity, therefore if she was going to continue to treat me this way, I didn't want to have any thing more to do with her.

I actually didn't speak to her for about 4 years, and she has spent the last 2 years trying to get me back on side with lots of lovely letters and gifts and she specifically flew in from the US to see me when I was recovering from an operation.

I really think that for your own piece of mind you have done the right thing.

S xxxx

sunny104 · Post by **sunny104** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:04 pm

sometimes it's best to just let it go, regardless of the person's relationship to us.

(I've had to do that with both parents but it wasn't hard for me because I realized they were never really 'parents' to me at any stage of my life anyway...:rolleyes: )

It takes 2 people to make a relationship work and your father either doesn't want to or doesn't know how to do that with you, but that's his problem not yours.

It's also his loss.

You are one of my favorite people here, love you babes! :-4 :yh_hugs

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:16 pm

You were the child and he was the adult, it was up to him to ensure that the two of you had a good realtionship in the way that you have done with your kids

Spot on Im.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:17 pm

Unc I have no relationship with my own father, he left when I was 5 but i used to see him every weekend til i was about 13 when i refused to go anymore, it wasn't that he physically hit me , it was more mentally and he used to be really vile about my Mum, always trying to put me down or make me feel bad at every given opportunity. I didn't see him again until i was 16 as he had a set of twins with my step-mum and i wanted to know my bother and sister, he didn't change at all with me, so i used to go around when i knew he wouldn't be there. Then i split up from my ex-husband and was feeling the lowest I'd ever felt, my step-mum invited me over for dinner, and all my dad was saying how i must of done something to make him leave (Yeah, like i forced him to dip his stick elsewhere!!), he then went on to say where he thought i went wrong, short tempered, selfish etc. After that i hardly ever went over, in time I had Sam and Jenna and i thought i should make the effort and he'd be different, WHAT A JOKE!!!!! When he started picking on my son (he was 2) i thought no way was he doing that to my children, and i cut him out of my life. I can honestly say if he was on his death bed i wouldn't bother with him!

Anyone can be a father but it's someone special that's makes a Dad.

I feel very honored to have my step-dad thats my dad, and i know your kids are very lucky to have you :-4

cherandbuster · Post by **cherandbuster** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:21 pm

sunny104;536061 wrote: You are one of my favorite people here, love you babes! :-4 :yh_hugs

Me too

Kram, I'm pleased to see that you've come to terms with the situation; I'm sorry it's not the outcome that you would have preferred but, alas, it is what it is.

And your Dad is who he is.

How lucky we are that you have become a person totally different from him. You have many, many people in your life who love you for *you*.

It's too bad that Dad is missing out on such a wonderful person. :-4

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Wed Jan 31, 2007 12:49 pm

Ditto on all the :-4 for Krammy!!

I'm just glad that you can share and get it out of your system. We all care about you, you are an AWESOME individual!

All I want to do is give you a big :yh_hugs !!