She's still got some of her £50 credit on her mobile phone from me buying it two years ago
She sent me a text message without spaces because she couldn't find the 'space bar'
She tried to dial her voicemail but ended ringing my cousin in Cyprus
She still grabs my arm when crossing the road
After Sunday lunch she still sends me out to the ice-cream van with a casserole dish and get me to ask for 'a pounds worth'
If she says words like 'lesbian' she whispers it
She always wipes the bottles I drink out of 'because cats have wee'd all over them'
She played her Diana Ross CD and then turned it over 'to play the other side'.
She thinks a bit of 'fresh air' solves all health problems
If I'm ever ill she rings me to make sure I've done a poo!
And the contents of her handbag include - 3yr old sweets, old tissues, a straw, teaspoon, a sewing kit and an oxo cube ?
Anyone else got a loopy mother?
