I need advice!!!

babygirl · Post by **babygirl** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:47 am

First of all welcome to FG!!!!!!!!! right now onto this guy..........

i sat and read through your post and personally i feel like first he was just looking for a one night stand! but then he wanted more and more, i don't think he realised what he had until you were leaving and the reason why he has not answered your calls maybe that he is confused about what he wants, i suggest you give him a little time to think everything through but don't leave it too long!!!!!!!! and also clear up between you what you think and feel about the relationship maybe he is confused because he does not know how you feel the only way is to tell him.

good luck i hope everything turns out right for you both, please come back and let us know how it went... i hope i have helpt

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 8:21 am

Hiya Jane and welcome to the Garden

I think it would be unfair to say that ALL English men are the same, but of course you will find a big difference in the behaviour of western men in general.

It does sound as if this guy turned out to be genuinely fond of you, unfortunately to some guys one month is a long time! it could be that he's met someone else, or it could be any number of reasons why he's not picking up the phone or returning your calls.

If he does'nt answer your letter then sadly i say, move on.

But please dont think that all English men are like this, there are good and bad everywhere.

Good luck Jane x.

turbonium · Post by **turbonium** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:41 am

Hi Jane - welcome to FG!! I'll give you my thoughts on this from the western male perspective.

First off, we have a phrase - 'been there, done that'. It means I've had relationships like the one you are in - I'm guessing by your post that you and he are likely in the 19 to 25 years age group.

I'll tell you honestly, the times I acted with a girl like he is acting with you, I was usually after the sex more than a serious relationship.(how immature and shameful young men can be:wah: )

But there IS a chance I am wrong, so please understand that. I am only going on the information you have told us.

My first clue is that the dates are more or less sex.

My second clue is the lack of phone contact while you are not 'available' to him.

He should have called you back if it was more than that - but your relationship has been very short and genuine love takes time to nurture. I think you are placing too much hope into the crying he did when you left. Do not take this the wrong way - I just don't want you to get hurt. You started your current relationship with sex, then again and again more of just sex.

Before having sex, try to develop a bond with a man you like by first doing things you both can enjoy on dates, like movies, going to special events, walks around the park or to shops. If he likes you, he won't leave you if there is no sex for the first two or three weeks, at least. Your sex will then be more special. If he leaves you before then, you will also know he was with you more for sex.

Best of luck to you!

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:29 am

Turbo, how sweet you are! :yh_star

turbonium · Post by **turbonium** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 10:31 am

abbey wrote: Turbo, how sweet you are! :yh_star
:-4

john8pies · Post by **john8pies** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:50 pm

Jane, welcome to Forum Garden.

I think a good `rule of thumb` is do only what you want to do when you want to do it and with whom you wish to do it. Don`t listen to others telling you what you `should` do; if it doesn`t feel right for you, just don`t do it. I sincerely wish you all the best in your relationship and studies, and, no, not all us English guys are like that.....

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 3:55 pm

Hello Jane, welcome to FG

mominiowa · Post by **mominiowa** » Sun Jun 05, 2005 9:46 pm

Welcome Jane!! I really hope that things get figured out for you.I was thinking also he was not the one for you and that he was a "player" - but at the end of your story I felt like maybe he was very attached to you...HmmmmI guess if you are going back? - then maybe u can sit him down and just say- I missed you BUT I would like to know where this relationship is going...Let him know u have feelings for him..If he doesn't respond in a positive way then move on....There are a MILLION hot guys in England! :-4 Good Luck and we are glad u are here!!

buttercup · Post by **buttercup** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:12 am

welcome to the garden jane

im 39 years old & dont understand men any better than i did 20 years ago, i have had my heart broken many times, would i change anything, no

ive always followed how ive felt in my heart at the time, right or wrong

my present partner once said to me that women are led by the heart, men are led by the head & not always the big head

weigh up the outcomes & you will make the right decision, good luck

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Mon Jun 06, 2005 3:16 am

buttercup wrote: welcome to the garden jane

im 39 years old & dont understand men any better than i did 20 years ago, i have had my heart broken many times, would i change anything, no

ive always followed how ive felt in my heart at the time, right or wrong

my present partner once said to me that women are led by the heart, men are led by the head & not always the big head

weigh up the outcomes & you will make the right decision, good luckThere are bus loads of Irishmen waiting to meet someone with a heart like yours;)