I need someone who will love me just the way I am

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:49 pm

I need someone who will love me just the way I am. I dont want to be worried about a few extra pounds, the fact that I have absolutely no interest in clothing, and I need to be left alone ( like a cat ) unless Im in the mood to reach out. I am not bad looking ( for my age ) but Im not a raving beauty either. ( I never was ) I do still have adorable dimples, an amazing sense of humor, and a very large heart. I want a companion who wants to really be best friends..... someone who knows that the greatest way to love someone is to let them be free. No restrictions, no pressure, no attitude.

I think Im gay. Come on, the writing is on the wall. There isnt a man alive who can meet my criteria. But then, Im not gay either as I am not sexually attracted to women.... So, maybe Im way...... no way will I find a man to fit my needs, and Im not interested in sex with women. Im way, I guess.. OK

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:18 pm

Well I'm not gay either Weeder so we can't date or we would make a lovely couple as I have the exact same criteria. :wah::wah:

Omni_Skittles · Post by **Omni_Skittles** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 7:45 pm

oh my... it took me a while to realize you were a female... i re read and reread and reread and finally i got it lol... I'm so dumb sometimes!

Patsy Warnick · Post by **Patsy Warnick** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 8:40 pm

Weeder

I think your having a tough time - or a major mood swing - or your just F-----g

Fed Up.. I've been in all categories

Dear - good things will come your way - at your new place - with a new refreshing mood/attitude - good all around.

It's not you

FG loves you

Patsy

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Sun Mar 02, 2008 10:52 pm

I think you just wish you were gay... that's gotta be easier then dealing with men, don't ya think?:wah:

My problem with having someone love me just the way I am is that it's always so hard to return the favor. 'Cause I most certainly want that person to be the way that I want them to be. I'm not talking about physically either... tall, short, hairy or bald, I don't care... but by god, I don't plan to settle for less then someone who lives to breathe the air around me and nobody else! And it would be really nice if he could be really smart, but not try and think for himself too much...:p

Chezzie · Post by **Chezzie** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:43 am

flopstock;790232 wrote: I think you just wish you were gay... that's gotta be easier then dealing with men, don't ya think?:wah:

My problem with having someone love me just the way I am is that it's always so hard to return the favor. 'Cause I most certainly want that person to be the way that I want them to be. I'm not talking about physically either... tall, short, hairy or bald, I don't care... but by god, I don't plan to settle for less then someone who lives to breathe the air around me and nobody else! And it would be really nice if he could be really smart, but not try and think for himself too much...:p

god woman you talk some sense...Wish I had your brain and outlook, I really do:-4

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 3:43 am

I was in a weird mood last night, when I posted threads on all these areas of my life. Overwhelmed by trying to paint an entire apartment by myself.... boxes at the old place... boxes at the new place.... Standing in the new empty apartment, at 56. Starting over again. ( Ive had so many start overs)

I have had a life time of being competent, responsible, resourceful, and independant. You start to imagine what it would be like to have someone to help you. I guess Ive always been way.... no patience for the inabilty of the men Ive had in my life, who couldnt rise to the plate, and take care of business. And Ive been spoiled by having known remarkable women, who could do anything. Wayness becomes a lifestyle. Wayness puts uncomfortable dating in the trash bin. You evolve into the wayness lifestyle, as you slowly become gender blind, choosing the company of others who display the characteristics of good and strong people. You pay no mind to their gender. And yes Patsy... I am fed up. Long tough road, for many, many years. I wish I could afford to just lay down, with an empty mind, for a very long time. But of course, that is not possible.

Miss Maam · Post by **Miss Maam** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:23 am

Been there, done that ~ got a t-shirt. Welcome to my world at 60 Weeder! Problems, problems and more problems trying to find someone. I am not looking anymore. Almost had 2 relationships here in Columbus ~ the guys kept asking me for money. I'm a retiree, widowed and they think I got something, plus I've taken good care of myself ~ lookin' damn good. People would never guess my age. It's the way I carry myself ~ appearing not needing, but I need too, especially true love.

WHERE THE HECK IS IT?????

flopstock · Post by **flopstock** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:39 am

Speaking of being loved for yourself... a guy and I decided to tell each other something that most folks would never assume about us when meeting us...

He posted that he liked to fish....

I posted that I was vindictive.... that if I felt someone had **** on me or mine, I was not one of those 'such is life' folks, I was one of those '**** you and the horse you rode in on' folks...

Surprisingly, haven't heard much from him since then...

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 8:47 am

None of us know what our life holds for us and I have also learnt that if something is meant for you......it wont pass you by.For a man to love you for what you are and not for what the world can see is indeed true love.All I can say is .......please dont give up ever of finding that special person...no matter how old you are. I met my lovely man over 2 years ago now.Its been so hard at times due to many problems but I have stuck with him through illness and great personal problems and he has done the same with me.We feel we may have met many years ago as we both come from the same part of the east end and know so many of the same people. Maybe we were not to get together then as we were not ready for each other and may have been even different people then Now the time is right somebody up there decided and I know this to be true.He protects me, he looks after me, he sees something that I cant see when I look in the mirror.Your never to old to find true love.Neither of us were looking when we found each other....but fate took over.........as I hope it will you one day.

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 9:38 am

When I read your post about moving to your new apt. and the situation with your son, then read this one, it is no surprise you are feeling the way you are. Anytime someone is going to make a major change in life you can fill yourself with doubts.

You never know what is around the corner, the love you are looking for could be renting the apt right underneath your new place for all you know.

Love will find you if you are not hiding from it.

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:05 pm

Carolly;790519 wrote: None of us know what our life holds for us and I have also learnt that if something is meant for you......it wont pass you by.For a man to love you for what you are and not for what the world can see is indeed true love.All I can say is .......please dont give up ever of finding that special person...no matter how old you are. I met my lovely man over 2 years ago now.Its been so hard at times due to many problems but I have stuck with him through illness and great personal problems and he has done the same with me.We feel we may have met many years ago as we both come from the same part of the east end and know so many of the same people. Maybe we were not to get together then as we were not ready for each other and may have been even different people then Now the time is right somebody up there decided and I know this to be true.He protects me, he looks after me, he sees something that I cant see when I look in the mirror.Your never to old to find true love.Neither of us were looking when we found each other....but fate took over.........as I hope it will you one day.

just reading this has just brought me to my senses !! you remember i told you i bumped into an old friend of my late partner ?? well, he's been comin on a bit strong these last few days,texts, promises of god knows what, well, hes married and i will say i was tempted but now i realize he was preying on my lonelyness and the fact he was a good friend to my partner years ago ment we've got the same memories of him.

he caught me when i was having a bad day and took advantage of it.

he was supposed to be coming here tonight but i've turned my phone off, locked the door and told them downstairs to say they dont know where i am.

im a darn sight better than that !!:D

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:16 pm

i've been somebodys daughter, somebodys wife, somebodys mum, somebodys employee and now im somebodys grandmother..............

why is it that when some guy sees you on your own they think you can be somebodys bit on the side too................

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:25 pm

Helen;791157 wrote: just reading this has just brought me to my senses !! you remember i told you i bumped into an old friend of my late partner ?? well, he's been comin on a bit strong these last few days,texts, promises of god knows what, well, hes married and i will say i was tempted but now i realize he was preying on my lonelyness and the fact he was a good friend to my partner years ago ment we've got the same memories of him.

he caught me when i was having a bad day and took advantage of it.

he was supposed to be coming here tonight but i've turned my phone off, locked the door and told them downstairs to say they dont know where i am.

im a darn sight better than that !!:D
Oh Helen.......its so easy to be used by a man when you are alone and vulnerable like you are.You are lucky as you have known true love and hopefully will again.On the rocky road to that though please dont be used.You are worth so much more love.You see a man can have sex and it dosen't mean alot to some of them other then to satisfy their needs. Us women are different and let our hearts rule our head even though we refuse to believe that we are being used sometimes.Dont let this person use you..........as you say you ARE a darn sight better than that and you just remember that.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:28 pm

Helen;791167 wrote: i've been somebodys daughter, somebodys wife, somebodys mum, somebodys employee and now im somebodys grandmother..............

why is it that when some guy sees you on your own they think you can be somebodys bit on the side too................There not all the same Helen.......you will only get used if you allow it to happen.

along-for-the-ride · Post by **along-for-the-ride** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 2:42 pm

After my divorce some years ago, I felt the same. I saw my future in which I was single, working, living in my own little place, by myself. I really did not believe that I would find anyone for myself....who would love me for myself.

Well, I'm here to tell you that miracles do happen, The future sometimes hold some unexpected pleasures and surprises. Even at our age.

Just go about your life, be yourself and you may be in for a sweet surprise, girlfriend. I certainly hope so.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 6:58 pm

I really dont ever look for anyone. Taking care of myself has become such a way of life, that I couldnt imagine turning one part of my life over to someone else. Its really just the fear of getting old, and being alone, that gets me wistful sometimes. I have had some incredible love affairs, and some truly awful relationships. The memory of the great love affairs, is what makes me very discerning. The memory of the horrible relationships keeps me grateful to be on my own. I really just need someone to move some furniture this week.....:wah:

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Mon Mar 03, 2008 7:16 pm

Fuzzy... that word... predators... Your exactly right. They can smell you a mile away. Thanks for reminding me. You are very insightful. And your also right that this is the place I write my thoughts. I am having a hard time right now. Lots of changes. Im just a little scared. And honestly??? Im mad too.

( and I never get mad ) Im mad that I never had a dad to help me, or a husband, or even my sons. Im feeling a little jealous, and resentful of so many women Ive known who have had that. My dad isnt dead... hes just kind of useless. My husbands were completely self absorbed, and my sons are really just selfish. I dont know why all of a sudden Im angry about this... but I just am. Ill get over it.

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:24 am

i was married twice, the first couldnt keep his hands off other women, the second turned into a monster the minit i had the ring on my finger.

then i found a guy who was the best thing that ever happened to me............he took charge of everything, worshiped the ground i walked on.......... then he died in my arms from a massive heart attack...............

i lost everthing that day....... my man, my home, my belongings, my animals. there was a massive family feud from his ex and sons over his belongings and my boss took me in cos i had no where else to go.

im also very ill, nothing life threatening, but its making me feel worse than i should.

i have no confidence or self asteem and certainly never expected to be in this situation at my time of life.

been in this position for nearly three years now and all i can say is..... thank god for my dog.......... cos if i didnt have him, i wouldnt set foot outside the door at all.

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:27 am

weeder;791308 wrote: Fuzzy... that word...can smell you a mile away predators... Your exactly right. They . Thanks for reminding me. You are very insightful. And your also right that this is the place I write my thoughts. I am having a hard time right now. Lots of changes. Im just a little scared. And honestly??? Im mad too.

( and I never get mad ) Im mad that I never had a dad to help me, or a husband, or even my sons. Im feeling a little jealous, and resentful of so many women Ive known who have had that. My dad isnt dead... hes just kind of useless. My husbands were completely self absorbed, and my sons are really just selfish. I dont know why all of a sudden Im angry about this... but I just am. Ill get over it.

you're right !! they seem to think you should be grateful for any attention they give you, however unwelcome and you're so desperate for physical contact, you'll fall straight into their arms.

weeder · Post by **weeder** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:40 am

NOBODY puts their hands on me. I always feel so bad to realize that very young women do not realize what a privledge it is, when they allow someone acess to their bodies. The last nut I was involved with had tremendous issues regarding physical intimacy. In a very subtle, but powerful way, he changed me. ( I am very sad about that) but it is a good protection mechanism.

Carolly · Post by **Carolly** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 5:45 am

Helen;791412 wrote: i was married twice, the first couldnt keep his hands off other women, the second turned into a monster the minit i had the ring on my finger.

then i found a guy who was the best thing that ever happened to me............he took charge of everything, worshiped the ground i walked on.......... then he died in my arms from a massive heart attack...............

i lost everthing that day....... my man, my home, my belongings, my animals. there was a massive family feud from his ex and sons over his belongings and my boss took me in cos i had no where else to go.

im also very ill, nothing life threatening, but its making me feel worse than i should.

i have no confidence or self asteem and certainly never expected to be in this situation at my time of life.

been in this position for nearly three years now and all i can say is..... thank god for my dog.......... cos if i didnt have him, i wouldnt set foot outside the door at all.
Helen I know its not much maybe...........but you have some good friends also ........ok we may be behind a screen but that dont mean we dont care and dont worry about you and wish we could help you more.......please always remember that love.

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 6:30 am

I'm not gay either, but my husband DEFINATELY is.

Don't sweat it Weeds......there's someone for everyone, and the best come along when you least expect it. Someone will love you just how you are :-4

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:02 am

weeder;790151 wrote: I need someone who will love me just the way I am. I dont want to be worried about a few extra pounds, the fact that I have absolutely no interest in clothing, and I need to be left alone ( like a cat ) unless Im in the mood to reach out. I am not bad looking ( for my age ) but Im not a raving beauty either. ( I never was ) I do still have adorable dimples, an amazing sense of humor, and a very large heart. I want a companion who wants to really be best friends..... someone who knows that the greatest way to love someone is to let them be free. No restrictions, no pressure, no attitude.

I think Im gay. Come on, the writing is on the wall. There isnt a man alive who can meet my criteria. But then, Im not gay either as I am not sexually attracted to women.... So, maybe Im way...... no way will I find a man to fit my needs, and Im not interested in sex with women. Im way, I guess.. OK

I've always hated to see people judged by the way they look instead of who they are on the inside. Like you said, why should we have to worry about a few extra pounds or how well we dress. I noticed it myself, if I run to the grocery store or somewhere in a t-shirt and blue jeans people act different than if I go out dressed up. What's with that? Besides whether we are pretty or not so pretty we had nothing to do with it. We can't help how we were born, we have our parents genes to thank for that. Just like I think people shouldn't be punished for not being really attractive I also don't think people should be rewarded for being pretty.

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:05 am

Carolly;791436 wrote: Helen I know its not much maybe...........but you have some good friends also ........ok we may be behind a screen but that dont mean we dont care and dont worry about you and wish we could help you more.......please always remember that love.

hi carol,

i know that carol. without any doubt :-4

the point i was making about the dog is that if i didnt have him to make me get out and about i wouldnt bother, just go down to work then back here again. i now take him out twice a day for a long walk, instead of one and make do with the back yard for the rest of the time !! this ruddy illness makes me "lazy" if i can call it that, so i HAVE to motivate myself for him.

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:14 am

Hope6;791513 wrote: I've always hated to see people judged by the way they look instead of who they are on the inside. Like you said, why should we have to worry about a few extra pounds or how well we dress. I noticed it myself, if I run to the grocery store or somewhere in a t-shirt and blue jeans people act different than if I go out dressed up. What's with that? Besides whether we are pretty or not so pretty we had nothing to do with it. We can't help how we were born, we have our parents genes to thank for that. Just like I think people shouldn't be punished for not being really attractive I also don't think people should be rewarded for being pretty.

i certainly dont have much to thank my parents for then :rolleyes:: both sides of my family where 6 feet plus tall so i didnt stand much of a chance did i ?? and thats half the problem, people think cos im built like a brick outhouse, i can cope with anything...................:-3

Hope6 · Post by **Hope6** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:27 am

Helen;791538 wrote: i certainly dont have much to thank my parents for then :rolleyes:: both sides of my family where 6 feet plus tall so i didnt stand much of a chance did i ?? and thats half the problem, people think cos im built like a brick outhouse, i can cope with anything...................:-3

I've always been considered pretty but I take no credit for it, my mother is a beautiful woman and I happen to look a lot like her, I had nothing to do with it, so why should I be judged by it?

Helen · Post by **Helen** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 8:31 am

Hope6;791578 wrote: I've always been considered pretty but I take no credit for it, my mother is a beautiful woman and I happen to look a lot like her, I had nothing to do with it, so why should I be judged by it?

i think i look pretty good for my age even though i say it myself, that comes from my mums side too, they all carried their age well.

CARLA · Post by **CARLA** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 9:43 am

Weeder I don't see you as a person that would let a predator so to speak into your life. Your mad and that is a good thing now in my opinion because you will get what needs to be done, done and fast. Mad can work for you sometimes when you see the reasons for it.

[QUOTE][QUOTE]Fuzzy... that word... predators... Your exactly right. They can smell you a mile away. Thanks for reminding me. You are very insightful. And your also right that this is the place I write my thoughts. I am having a hard time right now. Lots of changes. Im just a little scared. And honestly??? Im mad too.

( and I never get mad ) Im mad that I never had a dad to help me, or a husband, or even my sons. Im feeling a little jealous, and resentful of so many women Ive known who have had that. My dad isnt dead... hes just kind of useless. My husbands were completely self absorbed, and my sons are really just selfish. I dont know why all of a sudden Im angry about this... but I just am. Ill get over it

Post by **jones jones** » Tue Mar 04, 2008 12:17 pm

think i look pretty good for my age even though i say it myself, that comes from my mums side too, they all carried their age well.

ladies ... everyone one of you look pretty good to me!

Jj :-4