ForumGarden

Goodness I have to say at this point how very proud I am of this thread and reading all your amazing stories Im so glad to have met you all...........if there the right words. THANKYOU all for sharing your experiences, your tears, your regrets but most of all your lives.....you really are a great bunch.

minks;592695 wrote: Awww as an oldtimer to this forum this is so encouraging to read how much you guys like FG. It really does have something for everybody

I am glad I have stayed here

I am happy to have met so many FG members some in real life and the rest in the cyber world. It's wonderful, keep it up all of you.

This thread is amazing. No babe............you lot are x

Pinky;592688 wrote: Hehe...I'm on my third glass!!!

I dunno really, we all just get yakking (like now!) and get to know each other, the support we all give each other when it's needed is amazing!

I think you're fitting in just fine Pheasy, I'm really sorry I gave you a hard time and acted like a total spanner. You seem like such a lovely person as well, I really do feel awful about it...I will make it up to you in some way!


Hi Pinky, I like your avatar much better - the pink lady flicking the finger scared the crap out of me. :wah: :wah: 'Total spanners' are good - if i drink much more i might be there - glad we can friends look forward to many posts of fun!!

Pinky;592697 wrote: It's great innit?

I'm glad I stayed too. How could I leave the lovely people I've met here though? I'd miss everyone way too much!:-4 And we would miss you lovely lady!!!!;)

ThePheasant;592699 wrote: Hi Pinky, I like your avatar much better - the pink lady flicking the finger scared the crap out of me. :wah: :wah: 'Total spanners' are good - if i drink much more i might be there - glad we can friends look forward to many posts of fun!!


hey pinky i liked your old avatar better this one scares the crap outa me :wah: :wah:

jimbo;592713 wrote: hey pinky i liked your old avatar better this one scares the crap outa me :wah: :wah:


:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl I am delicate

Pinky;592716 wrote: Bastard!!!

Ha - thought I'd fool you into thinking Halloween was early.:p


:p :p :-4

Pinky;592715 wrote: Thanks mate:-4

How are you these days Carolly? Are you and Chris living together yet? I think of you two whenever I'm down your way!His bought a house up the road Pinky and we are together nearly all the time...thanks babe for asking and hope to meet you one day and maybe share a plate of jellied eels....lol.....ok only jokin .....yum yum!!!!!!:)

Carolly;591837 wrote: In our lives we encounter many experiences that changes our lives forever.I dont mean meeting a future partner I mean maybe a spiritual one or something that happens and when you look back you think......did that really happen to me?;)


Hey Carolly, we all try to think of something which will open up conversation - you really hit it here - if i was you initially i would of thought 'oh crud' this is depressing I really should not have started this - well - looks like you did pretty damn good - opened everyone up and people shared special moments - good-on-ya :-4

Pinky;592731 wrote: Lol!!! Think I'll pass on the eels, but it would be ace to meet you guys!!!

Seems daft not to really, I'm only a couple of hours down the road!


Sounds good to me babe!!!! But dont tell Kaz as she may wanna come and she will drive us bleedin mad about poxy football.....oh hell Im in trouble now with football lovers.....oh well here we go pmsl!!!:-5 :p

ThePheasant;592735 wrote: Hey Carolly, we all try to think of something which will open up conversation - you really hit it here - if i was you initially i would of thought 'oh crud' this is depressing I really should not have started this - well - looks like you did pretty damn good - opened everyone up and people shared special moments - good-on-ya :-4Pheasant I hope this is just the beginning .....theres so much more to explore here and thanks to people like you its a great thread.....thankyou.

Ok i gotta try sober up - eww it is only 7:15 here - I am ashamed of myself :wah: :wah: Maybe chat later - or in a few days :wah: :wah: love ya all -cya

ThePheasant;592747 wrote: Ok i gotta try sober up - eww it is only 7:15 here - I am ashamed of myself :wah: :wah: Maybe chat later - or in a few days :wah: :wah: love ya all -cya Ahhhhh Bless xx

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Goodness those words are true...........

Nothing major happened to me in my childhood, my parents didn't have a wonderful marriage but they were good parents.

Dad passed away thirteen years ago, I remember him lying on the bed with all the machines hooked up and watching all the read outs fade then the alarms ringing, the crash team came in and pushed us aside to work on him, I can remember shouting at them to leave him alone, let him die in peace, I knew deep inside that he had gone, he didn't want to live anymore, I just wanted to hold his hand while he went.

Two months after my Dad died I got married, I look back now and I'm not sure why I did, I guess I thought I loved him and I guess he thought he was doing the right thing, looking after me. I'm sat here trying to pinpoint when the abuse, possesiveness and jealousy started, I guess it kind of crept up on me. I do know the abuse worsened when I was pregnant with our son. At thirty one weeks we had a huge row in the car over his aggressive driving and the fact it was scaring me, his answer was to dump me by the roadside. I sat on the kerb for two hours waiting for him to come back for me, he didn't. One week later to the day I had a blinding headache, I slept most of the day and when I got up to go to the bathroom I collapsed on the floor, looking back I know I had a fit, the dog licking my face brought me round. When my husband came in from work I crawled to the top of the stairs and called to him telling him I didn't feel good, he took the dogs out for a walk telling me I'd better ring the midwife then. I have no idea how I made it down the stairs, found the phone and my maternity files and then called the emergency midwives. A midwife arrived, checked my blood pressure and said 'Hospital now' but even she didn't realise the severity of my condition, the ex took me to hospital, no sooner had I been shown a bed I went into another fit and that is the last thing I really remember untill three days later. I remember waking up and being told I had a baby boy, I'd had eclampsia and both baby and I were very poorly. It was like being in a dream, I remember being taken to see my son but I was so ill you could have been showing me a cuddly toy, I just didn't care, I just wanted to sleep. I have never been forgiven by my ex for not being ecstatic at the first sight of our son, actually I think I've been punishing myself over that one too. Luckily I made a pretty fast recovery, I had to, I was expected to run a house, look after my man and this tiny baby that scared the life out of me, he seemed so fragile.

My son thrived, romped on a load of weight and was a real cheeky chappy but his milestone acheivements were way out. I knew there was something wrong, nothing major, he wasn't obviously disabled or anything, but he just wasn't quite right.

Over the years my husband managed to run me down, constantly having a go, nothing was ever right, I was never quite good enough, etc etc he tipped me out of bed one night after an argument, apparently he warned me that he was about to do so but I was asleep, I ended up black and blue down my side from my shoulder to my toes. That was the last time he touched me physically as I made sure he knew that at a Doctors appointment a few days later the bruises had been photographed and noted on my records. My doctor begged me to leave him then but I wasn't ready. We went on to have a little girl as well, normal pregnancy this time thank God!

The verbal abuse continued, it just bacame a part of my life. The day that rape was threatened is the day that I walked, two suitcases, the two children, straight to court, then on a train to get away, I physically shook with fear for days, worried sick that he would come after me. I'm still scared of him now, but I don't allow him to see it.

Almost two years on now and the only person I have to answer to is me, I have fought and got my son diagnosed as having Aspergers and he now gets the extra help he needs at school, he's a lot more settled and loving. My daughter is happy although a bit too serious at times (4 going on 40!) :rolleyes:

When I look back over this it's almost like a dream, did that all really happen to me? Everyone tells me I'm strong, let me let you into a secret, I'm marshmallow really.

Betty......I cant type.....sorry....its got to me.....but please take this(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Carolly;592776 wrote: Betty......I cant type.....sorry....its got to me.....but please take this(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Thanks, that was good to do that, it's the first time I've been able to do so without breaking down. Maybe it means I'm letting it all go, time to move on try and see what lessons I was meant to learn from all that happened.

Betty Boop;592772 wrote: Nothing major happened to me in my childhood, my parents didn't have a wonderful marriage but they were good parents.

Dad passed away thirteen years ago, I remember him lying on the bed with all the machines hooked up and watching all the read outs fade then the alarms ringing, the crash team came in and pushed us aside to work on him, I can remember shouting at them to leave him alone, let him die in peace, I knew deep inside that he had gone, he didn't want to live anymore, I just wanted to hold his hand while he went.

Two months after my Dad died I got married, I look back now and I'm not sure why I did, I guess I thought I loved him and I guess he thought he was doing the right thing, looking after me. I'm sat here trying to pinpoint when the abuse, possesiveness and jealousy started, I guess it kind of crept up on me. I do know the abuse worsened when I was pregnant with our son. At thirty one weeks we had a huge row in the car over his aggressive driving and the fact it was scaring me, his answer was to dump me by the roadside. I sat on the kerb for two hours waiting for him to come back for me, he didn't. One week later to the day I had a blinding headache, I slept most of the day and when I got up to go to the bathroom I collapsed on the floor, looking back I know I had a fit, the dog licking my face brought me round. When my husband came in from work I crawled to the top of the stairs and called to him telling him I didn't feel good, he took the dogs out for a walk telling me I'd better ring the midwife then. I have no idea how I made it down the stairs, found the phone and my maternity files and then called the emergency midwives. A midwife arrived, checked my blood pressure and said 'Hospital now' but even she didn't realise the severity of my condition, the ex took me to hospital, no sooner had I been shown a bed I went into another fit and that is the last thing I really remember untill three days later. I remember waking up and being told I had a baby boy, I'd had eclampsia and both baby and I were very poorly. It was like being in a dream, I remember being taken to see my son but I was so ill you could have been showing me a cuddly toy, I just didn't care, I just wanted to sleep. I have never been forgiven by my ex for not being ecstatic at the first sight of our son, actually I think I've been punishing myself over that one too. Luckily I made a pretty fast recovery, I had to, I was expected to run a house, look after my man and this tiny baby that scared the life out of me, he seemed so fragile.

My son thrived, romped on a load of weight and was a real cheeky chappy but his milestone acheivements were way out. I knew there was something wrong, nothing major, he wasn't obviously disabled or anything, but he just wasn't quite right.

Over the years my husband managed to run me down, constantly having a go, nothing was ever right, I was never quite good enough, etc etc he tipped me out of bed one night after an argument, apparently he warned me that he was about to do so but I was asleep, I ended up black and blue down my side from my shoulder to my toes. That was the last time he touched me physically as I made sure he knew that at a Doctors appointment a few days later the bruises had been photographed and noted on my records. My doctor begged me to leave him then but I wasn't ready. We went on to have a little girl as well, normal pregnancy this time thank God!

The verbal abuse continued, it just bacame a part of my life. The day that rape was threatened is the day that I walked, two suitcases, the two children, straight to court, then on a train to get away, I physically shook with fear for days, worried sick that he would come after me. I'm still scared of him now, but I don't allow him to see it.

Almost two years on now and the only person I have to answer to is me, I have fought and got my son diagnosed as having Aspergers and he now gets the extra help he needs at school, he's a lot more settled and loving. My daughter is happy although a bit too serious at times (4 going on 40!) :rolleyes:

When I look back over this it's almost like a dream, did that all really happen to me? Everyone tells me I'm strong, let me let you into a secret, I'm marshmallow really.


Wow Boops that is a heII of a story...Good for you for getting out of that situation even if it took a while. It takes what it takes. There are two things in this world that really make me get homicidal, one is hurting a child and the other is a man beating up a women. I can't stand bullies..Anyway it took guts for you to get out lady.

Pinky;592779 wrote: Funny how it creeps up without you noticing hey?

I'll let you into something that I'll probably regret telling, but the thing that was threatened to you has happened to me. Not once but a few times. The more I fight back the more it seems to egg him on. It doesn't happen any more, but it did, and it still screws my head up. I couldn't say a wordat the time because I knew once I started talking I wouldn't stop, and people might see it as being my fault for being a crappy wife and an obnoxious bitch and my fault for staying...I dunno, nowadays i don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of me.


Well if it means anything Pinky.........I think yer a little darlin and sod the ones that think otherwise, send em round me dogs will sort em out pmsl x:-5 :driving:

Pinky;592779 wrote: Funny how it creeps up without you noticing hey?

I'll let you into something that I'll probably regret telling, but the thing that was threatened to you has happened to me. Not once but a few times. The more I fight back the more it seems to egg him on. It doesn't happen any more, but it did, and it still screws my head up. I couldn't say a wordat the time because I knew once I started talking I wouldn't stop, and people might see it as being my fault for being a crappy wife and an obnoxious bitch and my fault for staying...I dunno, nowadays i don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of me.


Do you know what I find bizarre, who sets these standards for what a wife should be? In my experience the more you try to live up to what they want, the more they ask of you, its impossible to be a 'good enough' wife for men like this.

We are who we are and our husbands, lovers, partners whatever we want to call them should accept us they way we are as we should accept them the way they are.

Pinky is Pinky and you wouldn't be you any other way, don't change for no one or nothing girl! :-4

Pinky;592779 wrote: Funny how it creeps up without you noticing hey?

I'll let you into something that I'll probably regret telling, but the thing that was threatened to you has happened to me. Not once but a few times. The more I fight back the more it seems to egg him on. It doesn't happen any more, but it did, and it still screws my head up. I couldn't say a wordat the time because I knew once I started talking I wouldn't stop, and people might see it as being my fault for being a crappy wife and an obnoxious bitch and my fault for staying...I dunno, nowadays i don't give a toss what anyone else thinks of me.


we love you Pinky:-4

Betty Boop;592772 wrote: Nothing major happened to me in my childhood, my parents didn't have a wonderful marriage but they were good parents.

Dad passed away thirteen years ago, I remember him lying on the bed with all the machines hooked up and watching all the read outs fade then the alarms ringing, the crash team came in and pushed us aside to work on him, I can remember shouting at them to leave him alone, let him die in peace, I knew deep inside that he had gone, he didn't want to live anymore, I just wanted to hold his hand while he went.

Two months after my Dad died I got married, I look back now and I'm not sure why I did, I guess I thought I loved him and I guess he thought he was doing the right thing, looking after me. I'm sat here trying to pinpoint when the abuse, possesiveness and jealousy started, I guess it kind of crept up on me. I do know the abuse worsened when I was pregnant with our son. At thirty one weeks we had a huge row in the car over his aggressive driving and the fact it was scaring me, his answer was to dump me by the roadside. I sat on the kerb for two hours waiting for him to come back for me, he didn't. One week later to the day I had a blinding headache, I slept most of the day and when I got up to go to the bathroom I collapsed on the floor, looking back I know I had a fit, the dog licking my face brought me round. When my husband came in from work I crawled to the top of the stairs and called to him telling him I didn't feel good, he took the dogs out for a walk telling me I'd better ring the midwife then. I have no idea how I made it down the stairs, found the phone and my maternity files and then called the emergency midwives. A midwife arrived, checked my blood pressure and said 'Hospital now' but even she didn't realise the severity of my condition, the ex took me to hospital, no sooner had I been shown a bed I went into another fit and that is the last thing I really remember untill three days later. I remember waking up and being told I had a baby boy, I'd had eclampsia and both baby and I were very poorly. It was like being in a dream, I remember being taken to see my son but I was so ill you could have been showing me a cuddly toy, I just didn't care, I just wanted to sleep. I have never been forgiven by my ex for not being ecstatic at the first sight of our son, actually I think I've been punishing myself over that one too. Luckily I made a pretty fast recovery, I had to, I was expected to run a house, look after my man and this tiny baby that scared the life out of me, he seemed so fragile.

My son thrived, romped on a load of weight and was a real cheeky chappy but his milestone acheivements were way out. I knew there was something wrong, nothing major, he wasn't obviously disabled or anything, but he just wasn't quite right.

Over the years my husband managed to run me down, constantly having a go, nothing was ever right, I was never quite good enough, etc etc he tipped me out of bed one night after an argument, apparently he warned me that he was about to do so but I was asleep, I ended up black and blue down my side from my shoulder to my toes. That was the last time he touched me physically as I made sure he knew that at a Doctors appointment a few days later the bruises had been photographed and noted on my records. My doctor begged me to leave him then but I wasn't ready. We went on to have a little girl as well, normal pregnancy this time thank God!

The verbal abuse continued, it just bacame a part of my life. The day that rape was threatened is the day that I walked, two suitcases, the two children, straight to court, then on a train to get away, I physically shook with fear for days, worried sick that he would come after me. I'm still scared of him now, but I don't allow him to see it.

Almost two years on now and the only person I have to answer to is me, I have fought and got my son diagnosed as having Aspergers and he now gets the extra help he needs at school, he's a lot more settled and loving. My daughter is happy although a bit too serious at times (4 going on 40!) :rolleyes:

When I look back over this it's almost like a dream, did that all really happen to me? Everyone tells me I'm strong, let me let you into a secret, I'm marshmallow really.


:-4 to you Betty, I can relate to that almost word for word. I had the verbal abuse, rape and making me feel like I was NEVER going to be good enough for him or anyone else...he always told me that "no-one would ever love me the way he loved me"....looking back...that's a very good thing, if that was love??

You are a strong and wonderful person for have gone through all that! :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

WonderWendy3;592790 wrote: :-4 to you Betty, I can relate to that almost word for word. I had the verbal abuse, rape and making me feel like I was NEVER going to be good enough for him or anyone else...he always told me that "no-one would ever love me the way he loved me"....looking back...that's a very good thing, if that was love??

You are a strong and wonderful person for have gone through all that! :yh_hugs :yh_hugs


wendy:-4

Betty Boop;592781 wrote: Thanks, that was good to do that, it's the first time I've been able to do so without breaking down. Maybe it means I'm letting it all go, time to move on try and see what lessons I was meant to learn from all that happened.
Inside all of us there is so much pain.......Betty we need to share that and you have.....thankyou so much for the time you put into it. May your future hold the happiness you so deserve x

zinkyusa;592783 wrote: Wow Boops that is a heII of a story...Good for you for getting out of that situation even if it took a while. It takes what it takes. There are two things in this world that really make me get homicidal, one is hurting a child and the other is a man beating up a women. I can't stand bullies..Anyway it took guts for you to get out lady.




It took guts and this place helped me, I first ever posted on here a few months before I left him, the support was amazing, three people that spring to mind that helped me were Minks, Lady Cop and Jives.

Hamster went through it all with me in real life without her support I don't think I would have done it at all. :-4

Pinky;592789 wrote: Oh for phucks sake, you're making me blub!!!!!

Thanks mate, and you're right...we are who we are!




:wah: Hang on there is something seriously wrong here, you're the tough cookie, I'm the marshmallow!



:yh_hugs

Betty Boop;592800 wrote: :wah: Hang on there is something seriously wrong here, you're the tough cookie, I'm the marshmallow!



:yh_hugs


mmmm cookies and marshmellow, zinky likes:D

Carolly;592793 wrote: Inside all of us there is so much pain.......Betty we need to share that and you have.....thankyou so much for the time you put into it. May your future hold the happiness you so deserve x


Thank you! :-6

Right Im off to bed....this thread has moved me to tears tonight and again Thankyou all so much for your time and letting us all see just a part of your life and your inner thoughts. There is so much more to explore here and look forward to our future inner thought chats. Night my lovely new friends xxx;)

Carolly;592806 wrote: Right Im off to bed....this thread has moved me to tears tonight and again Thankyou all so much for your time and letting us all see just a part of your life and your inner thoughts. There is so much more to explore here and look forward to our future inner thought chats. Night my lovely new friends xxx;)


nite carolly sleep tight;)

zinkyusa;592807 wrote: nite carolly sleep tight;)


gandsta !!

ThePheasant;592816 wrote: gandsta !!


umm gangsta (type slowly)

jimbo;592684 wrote: i think i opened up to red glitter and cher ,then a few other people joined in and now i feel really at home and i can talk to these guys on FG far more easily than i can in the real world ,when your having a real bad time a few words of comfort from a good friend goes a long long way to helping you feel better .. thanks guys :-6 :-6


You know you're tops with me, Jimbo. Never forget that. :-6 :-4

minks;592566 wrote: aw Red, I so dread the day my mother goes I can't even imagine your feelings.


Minks, I don't know what to say. I miss my mom in ways I never knew existed.

You know what her last words to me were? Besides "I love you very much?" She said "Mothers have to leave." Even on her deathbed she knew the score and knew to prepare me. That was my mom. God love her. She was the very best.

RedGlitter;592880 wrote: Minks, I don't know what to say. I miss my mom in ways I never knew existed.

You know what her last words to me were? Besides "I love you very much?" She said "Mothers have to leave." Even on her deathbed she knew the score and knew to prepare me. That was my mom. God love her. She was the very best.


:-4 :-4 it would appear you take after mom red :-6

You girls mentioning marshmallows..... Those of us who get involved with abusive characters, are exactly that. A wonderful combination of soft, and competent. Drawn to love the most difficult personalities because of having feeling and compassion for someone else. I loathe to hear the painful stories that women experience at the hands of these dysfunctional, selfish monsters.

But I am so proud to know women who get out, make it on their own, and discover how strong they are. You all will have wonderful lives. If anyone comes along who wants to love you again... it will be their privledge to have any one of you in their life.

jimbo;593015 wrote: :-4 it would appear you take after mom red :-6


Thank you Jimbo...:-4 :-6

weeder;593048 wrote: You girls mentioning marshmallows..... Those of us who get involved with abusive characters, are exactly that. A wonderful combination of soft, and competent. Drawn to love the most difficult personalities because of having feeling and compassion for someone else. I loathe to hear the painful stories that women experience at the hands of these dysfunctional, selfish monsters.

But I am so proud to know women who get out, make it on their own, and discover how strong they are. You all will have wonderful lives. If anyone comes along who wants to love you again... it will be their privledge to have any one of you in their life.


Thank You Weeder for making me find the tissues in my house!! That was beautifully said. :yh_clap :-4

WonderWendy3;593072 wrote: Thank You Weeder for making me find the tissues in my house!! That was beautifully said. :yh_clap :-4
Oh Wendy.....I want that kitten!!!!!lol:driving:

Like everyone here I've had some bad experiences in my life that still haunt me to this day.So I thought I would share one with you that will be with me forever but unlike other stuff I remember with love.

Some years ago I was on the verge of a breakdown and was in a very dark place.One night in bed in the early hours I felt a "presence" .....if thats the right word. Its hard to explain but things started to happen but the main thing was I was over come with love.............it was a love far greater than you could ever imagine and so much happened in the 3 weeks this "presence" was there ............I started to write poetry at all odd times in the night.....some have been published.....I would go to checkouts and all tills would pack up......my tv would change channels as I walked by....I looked at people and seemed to know about their entire life and so so much more. I remember thinking of the one person that I really disliked and you know what...............all I could feel was love for them. The love poured out of me like water that had burst its bank. Those 3 weeks will be forever in my heart as apart from healing me the experience taught me so much. We never will agree on certain issues and I cant explain what happened to me except it was real and because of what happened I am here today with memories of what I would call........a very special time.

Night Everyone.......God Blessxxxxxxx