Galbally's Advice Column for FG.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:48 pm

Pinky;514641 wrote: I'm not saying ANYTHING!!!!

:wah: :wah:

Post by **Betty Boop** » Fri Jan 12, 2007 6:48 pm

Galbally;514642 wrote: Right you two, off to the girlie night thread with ye, yous are getting all double-entreded up here. :wah:

I need to go to bed! :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 3:16 am

mrsK;514653 wrote: And do you wear a uniform?

:-6

Just white coat, a cheeky grin, and a big bottle of valium, its the concellor look.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:06 am

Pinky;515041 wrote: No interesting instruments as well then?:yh_battin

No, its all in the hands dear. Now how are you feeling today? Any anexities, worries, bin men problems I can help with?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:11 am

Pinky;515059 wrote: Well, I did have a bit of an odd dream that woke me up in a bit of a panic...

It was about the meet-up in Brum, I dreamt that I was wandering around looking for the meet-up point, and I couldn't find it, and no-one I asked seemed to know what I was on about. Then it got dark and I was a bit lost, and I got all these messages come through saying that no-one would ever speak to me again because I'd let everyone down!

Luckily, the postie knocked on the door and cheered me up immensely!:D

Oh those dreams are quite common I believe, its just a bit of pre-birminghamial tension I think. So, what did the post man have for you today? Anything nice?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:15 am

Pinky;515064 wrote: Yup!! I sent you an email!

Thanks Gally!:yh_hugs

Oh my email is crook, well I hope you like your post this morning. It was the right one, yes?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:18 am

Pinky;515068 wrote: Yeah, it made my weekend, thankyou so much!!!:-4

I'll just pm you what I sent anyway!!!

Then my job is done. I am happy.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:24 am

Ginger Vitus;515072 wrote: I wonder why nearly everything I read sounds like something from a soft porn movie.

It's them, right? I'm perfectly normal.

No, its completely normal. This is actually the script from "Carry on up the backpassage". Do not be alarmed, do not change your dial, do not worry in general. Though if you have any psychological problems (probable, given your name) you have come to the right thread. You can talk to me about anything, and I promise I will only laugh at you, not with you.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 4:35 am

Ginger Vitus;515082 wrote: Would you like me better if I called myself Ginger Minge?

I dunno, but I would probably laugh some more! :wah: Then again some of the ladies might get offended.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:05 am

Hamster;515221 wrote: Hey Dr G....How do I teach 3 kids that it is better to clean and tidy their room without getting to the point of falling over stuff and injuring themselves?

I've tried pleading, ignoring and rewarding...all of which have failed!

Desperate from Yorkshire...:-3

I think we have had this problem before. You need to use the carrot and stick approach. Two jaffa cakes each for a clean room, if its not clean then everything is going into the attic, and if they complain then tell them they are going into the attic as well, for 35 minutes. Oh, and don't let that capitalist one get the price up, you have to watch him, he is good.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:19 am

Hamster;515239 wrote: Yes he is good and today he actually co-operated just to catch me off guard.

Two problems though Dr G.... First..they don't like jaffa cakes and secondly we don't have a usable attic! Help!

Okay, you need to create an alternative to cleaning their rooms that they wil like even less, perhaps weeding the garden in the storms, or doing the washing, or you could take the plug off the telly and warn them thats its not going back on till they get their act together. Alternately you could tell them that seeing that you don't have a usuable attic, that if they don't tidy up their stuff, you will bury their toys in the garden until 2009 or until they cooperate. Then you also have to throw them off guard because they will think that they can play you, so you have to add another thing into the mix, perhaps to tell that you have deicided that everyone will be having porridge for tea tonight and thay bedtime is now 6.30, they will be too busy worrying about these developments, to be able to counter your original strategy. It may work, it may not, kids are basically evil geniuses at getting their own way and you will need some strong determineation to get through this difficult moment.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:39 am

Hamster;515251 wrote: Thanks Doc..wise words as always...

So you are saying "go with shock value"?? Come at them from several angles??

Sort of an ambush then?

Precisely, give them 3 things to think about, so that they won't be able to develop an effective counter strategy to your main plan, also don't let them get comfortable at any point, as soon as they think they know what is happening, change the rules, without explanation. That should give them new respect for mom, crafty little kids.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 10:18 am

Dr. 'Bally, how did you become so expert in dealing with children? Did you shag a nanny or something?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 10:19 am

Lulu2;515395 wrote: Dr. 'Bally, how did you become so expert in dealing with children? Did you shag a nanny or something?

:wah: And how long did you leave it before

a) you lit up?

b) you left?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 10:47 am

Lulu2;515395 wrote: Dr. 'Bally, how did you become so expert in dealing with children? Did you shag a nanny or something?

Well, I have known some girls in my time from various professions, buts it more from realizing that children are like adults without the restraint of the years of pain and anguish (that provides adults with the modicum of restraint and civility that they do possess). Therefore in dealing with children it is always useful to think somewhat in military terms, though of course, once you have defeated them, you can then love them again and give them chocolate, let them play their PSPs, listen to whatever godawful nonsense it is that the listen to these days, but first you must win. This is all of course theory, what happens when it comes time to raise my own is anyones guess. I suspect I will be too soft, like everyone.

Lulu2 · Post by **Lulu2** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 10:50 am

AWWWW...Uncle 'Bally, you old softie! :wah:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 10:51 am

Betty Boop;515396 wrote: :wah: And how long did you leave it before

a) you lit up?

b) you left?

Cigarette? Well, I would say about 5 to 10 minutes for some "post-thingy" snuggling, necking, cooing, etc etc, then a nice cigarette, then.......well, it depends on the night thats in it.

Also of course, if the lady prefers not to smoke, then I would go without, its only polite after all.

Leaving? Well, that depends on the girl don't it? Some it took me years to get away from! :wah:

And as for yourself, any preferences?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 11:21 am

Galbally;515408 wrote: Cigarette? Well, I would say about 5 to 10 minutes for some "post-thingy" snuggling, necking, cooing, etc etc, then a nice cigarette, then.......well, it depends on the night thats in it.

Also of course, if the lady prefers not to smoke, then I would go without, its only polite after all.

Leaving? Well, that depends on the girl don't it? Some it took me years to get away from! :wah:

And as for yourself, any preferences?

Well..........ummmmm none that I'd like to share thanks!

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Sat Jan 13, 2007 11:24 am

Betty Boop;515429 wrote: Well..........ummmmm none that I'd like to share thanks!

Naturally.

Snooze · Post by **Snooze** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:37 am

I think it's about time to resurrect this thread...

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:41 am

Snooze;739406 wrote: I think it's about time to resurrect this thread...

Oh Jaysus Snooze, I should have known we would get back to this at some stage. Ok then my little chickadee, what are the issues of the day that I should be giving advice on?

As usual I include my usual disclaimer that any insults incurred in the making of this advice column are completely intentional so don't bother complaining.

Snooze · Post by **Snooze** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:47 am

I'm all set, but I'm sure some of the members that haven't seen this thread will appreciate having the knowledge you've gleaned readily available.

You helped me immensely with my Daneaphobia. I haven't had a Viking nightmare in ages.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:55 am

Snooze;739414 wrote: I'm all set, but I'm sure some of the members that haven't seen this thread will appreciate having the knowledge you've gleaned readily available.

You helped me immensely with my Daneaphobia. I haven't had a Viking nightmare in ages.

Thats excellent news, its a shame that your hitherto undiagnosed Swedo-mania has taken over though. Though the Ikea executives have assured me that all charges have been dropped (well except for that incident with the snow blower, but thats OK because the Judge is fairly soft anyway). I must leave the surgery for a little while as I have to attend an after-show wrap party for a new Japanese Opera about Rikki Lake, should be fairly boring. Good evening madam.

lemon_and_mint · Post by **lemon_and_mint** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 11:56 am

i'm glad i've seen this thread, and feel that i would like to partake of your wisdom.

I'd really just like to know the answer to something which has been worrying me for some time, and that is -

"why is it?"

mikeinie · Post by **mikeinie** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:47 pm

It is possible to get a summary without reading 154 pages?

AussiePam · Post by **AussiePam** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 12:52 pm

Is once every nine months enough???

mrsK · Post by **mrsK** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:04 pm

Hi Gal.

Just thought I would say a quick hello to you.

:-6:-6

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:05 pm

lemon_and_mint;739420 wrote: i'm glad i've seen this thread, and feel that i would like to partake of your wisdom.

I'd really just like to know the answer to something which has been worrying me for some time, and that is -

"why is it?"

Because that's what you wish "it" to be. Glad to have been of service. Good evening.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:06 pm

mikeinie;739451 wrote: It is possible to get a summary without reading 154 pages?

Yes, irritable Irish male agony aunt dispensed his highly dubious advice over several months to a bunch of on-line dysfunctionals of varying kinds. The cops occasionally got involved, but generally everyone got away with it.

Snooze · Post by **Snooze** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:07 pm

Is it just me or is this thread showing on page 154 out of 155 pages and won't advance? :-3

Snooze · Post by **Snooze** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:07 pm

Snooze;739460 wrote: Is it just me or is this thread showing on page 154 out of 155 pages and won't advance? :-3

Nevermind, it's working now.

I'm sober, I swear!

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:07 pm

AussiePam;739454 wrote: Is once every nine months enough???

Definetly not, but once every nine minutes is far too often and leaves no time for the more important things in life such as relining the carpets in the car.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:08 pm

Snooze;739461 wrote: Nevermind, it's working now.

I'm sober, I swear!

Yes I believe you are, but what about the magic mushrooms?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:10 pm

mrsK;739457 wrote: Hi Gal.

Just thought I would say a quick hello to you.

:-6:-6

Thank you Mrs K, in response I will say good evening to you. I hope your mental state is good, if not you may visit the surgery as required, if you cannot visit then watch as many Japanese cartoons as possible and they will take your mind off it.

Snooze · Post by **Snooze** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:12 pm

Galbally;739419 wrote: Thats excellent news, its a shame that your hitherto undiagnosed Swedo-mania has taken over though. Though the Ikea executives have assured me that all charges have been dropped (well except for that incident with the snow blower, but thats OK because the Judge is fairly soft anyway). I must leave the surgery for a little while as I have to attend an after-show wrap party for a new Japanese Opera about Rikki Lake, should be fairly boring. Good evening madam.

I've never been called a snow blower before, wouldn't that freeze my lips?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Thu Dec 13, 2007 1:15 pm

I really wish I had the time to go back and read 155 pages.....You are a very intellegent and entertaining man.......:yh_worshp:yh_worshp