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Uncle Kram;633108 wrote: I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'magic'.

'Wow!' I said. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a

bit older and a bit thinner on top than when you last saw me.'

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd 'rise' to the challenge.

'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!'

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

She giggled 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'

So I told her to f... off.


LMAO......:wah:

Uncle Kram;633108 wrote: I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'magic'.

'Wow!' I said. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a

bit older and a bit thinner on top than when you last saw me.'

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd 'rise' to the challenge.

'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!'

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

She giggled 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'

So I told her to f... off.
:yh_rotfl Classic^^^^^^

randall;633076 wrote: :-6

Thank you OKIE.

I did eight months on a Nigerian ship and when it arrived in Kingston Upon Hull (HULL) England.

A warrant signed by Lord Hailsham was stuck with sellotape on a bulkhead near the top of the gangway - they can't nail them to the foremast anymore.

The ship was under arrest.

My wife had just come down from the north of Scotland to do a trip with me so I took her along to see it saying, "Take a good look at this as it is unlikely you will ever see the likes in your life again."

Ships under arrest are thought by many people to be the stuff of old stories.

My Mother died when I was in dock in Lagos and I decided to come home for her funeral.

The ship wasn't going anywhere - fast.

At Lagos Airport my passport was taken from me three times because I would not pay the immigration, customs and other officials "DASH"

Most of the other European passengers, mainly from Scandinavia came over to sympathise with me.

They told me that their companies gave them the extra money to pay "DASH" or they would never get anything done.

What a relief to get on that plane taking me home. Thinking, in another three days I will have to go all through this coming back.

God bless you all.

randall

"WHO SAID?" "Life can be hell."

Vinegar Joe.

:)


Yes, good luck on the return. I am such a coward about travel. I have never left the USA and dont plan to. I seldom go anyplace I cannot get back in one days drive.

OMG Shocking

Uncle Kram;633108 wrote: I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'magic'.

'Wow!' I said. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a

bit older and a bit thinner on top than when you last saw me.'

She just giggled and said she was sure I'd 'rise' to the challenge.

'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!'

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

She giggled 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'

So I told her to f... off.


LMFAO that's mean but hilarious.

Hi all how are you

I got that song on my ipod and in my car :-4

I wanna cactch up but I'm feckling knackered.

Double post, why not just edit? ^nothing to do with you up there by the way^ :wah:

I hate double standards lol

I hate people who two faces, I never know which one I should direct my eyes too. :wah:

DelicateDominatrix;633255 wrote: I hate double standards lol


Love your handle.

LMFAO it let ya that time! There is a mod you can add on a PHPBB forum that prevents someone replying twice for a set time say 24 hours, I used to use that. Ooh so mean. :p

almostfamous;633438 wrote: no i meant ..oh never mind :wah:



i'm typing with one hand right now


Oh no, I haven't tonight so it's your turn to get the sticky keys.

Okie;633427 wrote: Love your handle.


Thanks

After seeing pics of Britney in a thong, I feel loads better about my body.

Kathy Ellen;633534 wrote: Hi Okie,

It's so good to see ya tonight. How are ya doing....great I hope. How are you and the kids....hope Karen is cooking for you tonight. I'm having some schnapps right now...like some:wah:


I do like a glass of peppermint schnapps now and then.

We went to a old train museum today and rode the little train about three milles. They were supposed to feed us hotdogs but it didnt work out. Very hot. No air conditioner on the little old train. We plan to ride a real train soon down to Fort 'worth. Hope it works out.

Amber is swimming right now. Wish I was. Oh well. Hope all is well there.

i really must stop posting when i have been to the pub ,fourth micky taking pm so far :wah: :wah:



i'm so dead tomorrow :wah: :wah:

Everyone can have a drink on me.:wah:

Call me Racist Bitch i'm anything but

Kathy Ellen;633997 wrote: OMG...I'm multi-tasking here....working, posting on FG and watching the movie called "Open Waters" the movie about 2 divers who were left behind by accident while on a diving venture. They're surrounded by sharks who keep nibbling on them. It is so scary because it can really happen. I'm going to have terrible nightmares all night and I will not go into the ocean tomorrow.


I saw that movie a while back. I dont scuba dive at all. I am a coward I guess. I even worry about alligator turtles.

Kathy Ellen;634087 wrote: Hi Okie,

I know that I'll be having nightmares tonight. I'm so sorry that I watched that movie. Do you remember the end????? Did the woman take off her scuba gear and drowned herself because she knew she'd die, or was she pulled under by a shark???

How about some peppermint schnapps?


I guess I am having a senior moment. I just cannot remember the end. Sorry about that.

I just saw that Walmart has been selling ground beef in 12 states that has now been found to have e coli. They have a recall on Tyson ground beef. I have to see if I have any of that. I buy frozen patties called ThinkNTender. I like them a lot but not sure who makes it.

G'day Okie and Kathy. I've never seen that movie. Sounds scary. I've never been scuba diving either, just snorkelling.

It's long weekend here. Winter festival and the official beginning of the ski season. I was just reading that the area covered by snow in Australia in winter is bigger than the whole of Switzerland. Go figger !!! Anyway, we've got some fireworks for tomorrow. Dieter will love that.

Any schnapps going?

My mother is insane and it's time I realized that half of the issues I have in my life are because of her. The other half are because it has taken me twenty seven years to figure this out and I've been blaming them on everyone else.

And I have indigestion.

That last thing isn't her fault. I'm blaming that on the cheeseburger I ate.

almostfamous;634141 wrote: Was Tennessee on that list? :-3





did you go see HER today?!?! whoa


No Way. Just dealing with some sh*t today. That's all.

Wonders how long it will take them to pull their heads out of their bums.

you shouldn't stay up all night playing your spoons. :p

Sheryl;634249 wrote: you shouldn't stay up all night playing your spoons. :p


lol!!!!!!

almostfamous;634141 wrote: Was Tennessee on that list? :-3





did you go see HER today?!?! whoa


Yes, Tennessee is one of the states. I hope you still have the packages.

Hey Pam!! Skiing! Yes. Its hot here tho. We rode the little train today. It runs thru the golf course by the Zoo and it runs thru a rough part of town. I hope to ride the train to Fort Worth soon tho so Karen and Amber can ride. I am doing good now. I have a glass of bourbon on the rocks right now.

Soberano;634362 wrote: Spit on it and use your sleeve, works for me.




a good old fashioned sneeze does mine and makes all those annoying flies stick to the corner where they dont bother you anymore :wah: :wah:

almostfamous;634364 wrote: that's just wrong.










i'm just wrong :wah: :wah:





very wrong :wah::wah:

almostfamous;634367 wrote: no rebuttle here



k i'm hittin the hay, nite all. make sure el guapo spills the beans.




he allready spilled some beans thats half the story :wah: :wah:

Just a few more hours until I'm soaking up the sun! :-6

Have you ever gone into a thread and felt so completely lost?

NotToday;634485 wrote: Have you ever gone into a thread and felt so completely lost?
Not today, NotToday.

Accountable;634550 wrote: Not today, NotToday.


lol, it happens to me quite often.

i'm watching the season finale of lost:-3

almostfamous;634579 wrote: so beer. yes or no?


BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER





BEER BEEER BEER BEER BEEER BEEER UNTIL



YAAAY

WELL DONE KAZALALALALA ,you must be so proud of your daughter :-6 :-6 :-4

there won't be time for beer if you don't GO GET READY!!1 ( I have three in the fridge)