ForumGarden

Posted: **Tue May 02, 2006 11:42 am**

Untwist your knickers from their contortion

No need to resort to threats and extortion

Monkey'll be glad

To be a dad

Geeeeezzzzzeeee you talk like he'd suggest an abortion.

Posted: **Tue May 02, 2006 12:10 pm**

Miss Monkey is somewhat relieved,

She thought for sure he'd be peeved,

A daddy he'll be,

Just wait and see,

It looks like twins were conceived!

Attached files

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 4:34 am**

That's a scrawny lookin' little lad

You sure monkey is the dad

Puney tyke

Nothin' like

All the rest that Ms. Monkey's had

Attached files

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 9:44 am**

4rum wrote: That's a scrawny lookin' little lad

You sure monkey is the dad

Puney tyke

Nothin' like

All the rest that Ms. Monkey's had

Miss Monkey had always been chaste,

Until she wed Monkey in haste,

DNA doesn't lie,

So don't even try,

Miss Monkey will not be disgraced.

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 12:37 pm**

Oh so you have DNA

Irrefutable proof you say

With Dr. shopping

And dollar dropping

Proof is bought every day

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 12:39 pm**

Ms. Monkey has always been chaste?

I think you should have used "chased"

Thousands sought 'er

Hundreds caught 'er

Her knickers with LEGIONS are laced

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 2:35 pm**

Miss Monkey's not feeling to well,

Her belly is starting to swell,

Each morning she's sick,

This sure ain't no trick,

To Monkey she says, "go to hell!"

:mad:

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 2:42 pm**

4rum wrote: Ms. Monkey has always been chaste?

I think you should have used "chased"

Thousands sought 'er

Hundreds caught 'er

Her knickers with LEGIONS are laced

Miss Monkey is SHOCKED at such slander,

She's nothing to do with this pander,

She's certainly sure,

Her' knickers are pure,

You must mean her sister Cassander!!

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 4:07 pm**

Samantha wrote: Uh Ohhhhhhhh

Miss Monkey got drunk and went out,

She found a new monkey with clout,

She said of his willie,

"My, my, what a dillie!"

She's pleased with herself, no doubt.

Claims of chaste, pure and so demure

Seem to fly, dear Samantha, right out the door

Ms. Monkey's no cherry

She's often made merry

With hairy a$$ed ba$tards galore

Posted: **Wed May 03, 2006 4:16 pm**

Ms. Monkey's doc was a ringer

But HER mistake was the zinger

Sign said GYM

She read GYN

Tip off should have been his finger

Posted: **Thu May 04, 2006 4:24 am**

Monkey is NOT very nice,

Results of the lab must suffice,

If it's no bother,

The kids need a father,

For now, put his sex life on ice.

Posted: **Thu May 04, 2006 6:18 am**

Monkey don't care much for labs

His visits to them have been bad

They burned his eyes

And labotomized

Poked, pricked and cut, he went mad

Posted: **Thu May 04, 2006 7:30 am**

So Monkey's lust is for life

He never asked for a wife

He is what he is

Lives as he lives

In mischief and humor he's rife

Posted: **Thu May 04, 2006 11:06 am**

Dear 4Rum

Do you think they should get a divorce?

They were drunk when wed, of course,

What will folks say,

If it ends this way,

Miss Monkey will cry til she's hoarse.

Posted: **Thu May 04, 2006 1:54 pm**

Horse, mongoose or pony

The girl is still a phoney

Claiming virtue

Will only hurt you

If your claim is baa-loney

Posted: **Thu May 04, 2006 4:44 pm**

4rum wrote: Horse, mongoose or pony

The girl is still a phoney

Claiming virtue

Will only hurt you

If your claim is baa-loney

Dear 4Rum.

So why would she tell me a lie?

She always tells me she's shy!

I try not to judge,

Lest I begrudge,

Dear 4Rum I need an ally!!

Sincerely,

Samantha

Posted: **Fri May 05, 2006 7:21 am**

Samantha wrote: Dear 4Rum.

So why would she tell me a lie?

She always tells me she's shy!

I try not to judge,

Lest I begrudge,

Dear 4Rum I need an ally!!

Sincerely,

Samantha

Dear Samantha;

Sorry your faith is so shaken

By Ms. Monkey's knickers forsaken

Not hard to figure

She's a gold digger

Looking for bling for the takin'

Posted: **Sat May 06, 2006 6:43 am**

Poor monkey sat on a widget

Caused his butt cheeks to fidget

Widget got stuck

Of all the luck

He removed it with a digit

Posted: **Sun May 07, 2006 2:31 am**

Monkey's checkin' for some action

Shuckin' jivin' satisfaction

Catch him quick

Suave an' slick

(Even slicker with some traction)

Posted: **Sun May 07, 2006 2:41 am**

Bring some liquor, bring some wine

Bring someone to bump and grind

A keg or two

Waits for you

Hop on board or get left behind

Posted: **Sun May 07, 2006 5:36 am**

It sounds like Monkey is bored,

Seems like he's being ignored,

That widget was sticky,

And Monkey is ICKY!

Go glad that his butt is restored!

:wah:

Posted: **Sun May 07, 2006 5:43 am**

Samantha is fit to be tied,

To her, Miss Monkey has lied,

She feels so betrayed,

For having been played,

No more will she take things in stride!

Posted: **Sun May 07, 2006 7:09 am**

The magic is monkeys is fun

They should not be overdone

Shoot 'em, stab 'em

Free 'em or nab 'em

(But only the make believe ones) :yh_monkey

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 4:33 am**

Miss Monkey's twins have been born,

She's tired and rather forlorn,

They each need a name,

Not anything lame,

But names that will proudly be worn.

:-2

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 4:36 am**

Samantha now needs a vacation,

Where she can relieve her frustration,

But where can she go?

With three monkey in tow?

She desperately needs relaxation!!

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 6:19 am**

Samantha wrote: Miss Monkey's twins have been born,

She's tired and rather forlorn,

They each need a name,

Not anything lame,

But names that will proudly be worn.

:-2

Since you seem at the end of your rope

Could you use someone to help you cope

I was thinking maybe

You'd call the furbabies

Bright names like "Chuckles" and "Hope"

Attached files

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 6:24 am**

Samantha wrote: Samantha now needs a vacation,

Where she can relieve her frustration,

But where can she go?

With three monkey in tow?

She desperately needs relaxation!!

I have a possible solution for you

I made a call to San Diego's Zoo

Joan Embry is there

You know she cares

She'll care for mom and babies too

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 6:31 am**

Anybody remember Marlin Perkins... Wild Kingdom.... "Jim... grab hold of that waterbuffalo while I fly ahead in this helicopter and tell the hospital to be expecting you."

Monkey met Marlin once

Considered the man a dunce

Chased olligotter's

Into the water

They should have had Marlin for lunch

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 11:20 am**

Samantha's been out muddlin'

In the yard, all befuddlin'

I'll call her in

Make her grin

I think she needs some cuddlin'

Posted: **Mon May 08, 2006 4:47 pm**

4rum wrote: Samantha's been out muddlin'

In the yard, all befuddlin'

I'll call her in

Make her grin

I think she needs some cuddlin'

I was out in the yard all befuddled,

4Rum called me, to be cuddled,

He's great with a hug,

All snug as a bug,

He'll put an end to my muddle!!

:-4

Posted: **Tue May 09, 2006 4:11 am**

4rum wrote: I have a possible solution for you

I made a call to San Diego's Zoo

Joan Embry is there

You know she cares

She'll care for mom and babies too

I had taken them all to the zoo,

To join the rest of Joan's crew,

They started a riot,

Cause it was too quiet,

Now all three are taboo!

Posted: **Tue May 09, 2006 4:25 am**

The monkeys were then all sedated,

The zoo had been desecrated,

Joan called 911,

Poor girl was undone,

They never can be reinstated.

:sneaky:

Posted: **Tue May 09, 2006 10:19 am**

Well then I guess you are stuck

And I wish you the best of luck

You wrote 'em in

So you're next of kin

Us chickens don't give a cluck

Posted: **Tue May 09, 2006 11:19 am**

4rum wrote: Well then I guess you are stuck

And I wish you the best of luck

You wrote 'em in

So you're next of kin

Us chickens don't give a cluck

:yh_cry

Posted: **Tue May 09, 2006 5:28 pm**

4rum wrote: Well then I guess you are stuck

And I wish you the best of luck

You wrote 'em in

So you're next of kin

Us chickens don't give a cluck

Dear Monkey:

I think you are totally vile,

Dirty and mean and hostile,

Miss Monkey is loose,

But what's YOUR excuse?

You've nothing to offer worthwhile.

Posted: **Tue May 09, 2006 5:31 pm**

4Rum. . . . 4Rum . . . . wherefore art thous 4Rum

Deny the monkeys and foreswear their names. . .

Whether tis nobler to ingore their games . . .

Or to run to the Meadow and ignore thum!!

:wah:

Posted: **Wed May 10, 2006 2:42 am**

Dear Samantha;

Hmmm... maybe it's time for a break

Lest ALL your senses you forsake

The Meadow sublime

If you have the time

Is a respite we should take.

4rum

Posted: **Wed May 10, 2006 2:55 am**

And trials turn fleeting

With the smile of your greeting

Allowed to dream

By our tranquil stream

Such are the pleasures of meeting

Posted: **Wed May 10, 2006 4:03 am**

Languishing there for a time

Let go of reason or rhyme

Hear in your heart

Your worry depart

As we let our emotions climb

Posted: **Wed May 10, 2006 9:27 am**

Dear 4Rum:

I often ask myself how,

You know what to say to me now,

When I feel so stressed,

And so very duressed,

I'll give you a kiss on your brow.

Thanks Sweetie!

Posted: **Wed May 10, 2006 3:38 pm**

I'll take that endearing kiss

From you, my endearing miss

I'll keep it near

Hold it dear

And enjoy the endearing bliss

Posted: **Wed May 10, 2006 5:15 pm**

4rum wrote: I'll take that endearing kiss

From you, my endearing miss

I'll keep it near

Hold it dear

And enjoy the endearing bliss

You followed the kiss with a tryst,

You knew I could not resist.

Now we must stop,

I got called from a cop,

"It's those Monkeys" he said! (He's pissed.)

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 3:16 am**

Looks like the monkeys 'one-upped us'

I've never seen such a ruckus

The cop is pissed???

He didn't miss

A tryst from coitus-monkey'ruptus

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 6:49 am**

Dear 4Rum

With "mom" and the kids in their cage,

All three of them are in a rage,

While it is quiet,

Let's go to the Hyatt,

'Fore Monkey appears on the stage!!

Snuggles,

Samantha

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 7:27 am**

Dear Samantha.......

Let the beasties riot

Meet you at the Hyatt

I need a fix

Of Samanthas trix

Should you want to try-it

Nuzzles

4rum

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 8:19 am**

Chuckles and Hope are now walking,

They've taken a fondness to stalking,

They followed this man,

He's one of the "klan,"

He tied up their tails and they're squawking!

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 8:27 am**

4rum wrote: Dear Samantha.......

Let the beasties riot

Meet you at the Hyatt

I need a fix

Of Samanthas trix

Should you want to try-it

Nuzzles

4rum

You're certainly full of surprises!

And I've seen quite a few sizes!

I need to be ready,

If we can go steady.

In case something else -- arises!

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 12:22 pm**

If it's any peace of mind

I 'firmly' stand behind

The culmination

Of your invitation

Once you're properly wined and dined

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 3:21 pm**

I drank too much wine and feel whoozy,

I think we should find a jacuzzi,

We'll sit and make merry,

So much for my cherry,

I've seen that you have quite a doozy!!

Posted: **Thu May 11, 2006 4:55 pm**

If I remember correctly my dear

It's been much less than a year

A "hotte tubbe" we were in

Before we could even begin

We were tossed out on our... uh... ear :wah: