YZGI's In Bed Advice Column

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:09 pm

If a woman buys a dildo, should they make sure that it isn't bigger in size than their mate? Is that threatening?

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:11 pm

koan;519290 wrote: If a woman buys a dildo, should they make sure that it isn't bigger in size than their mate? Is that threatening?

I'll field this.

YES! Keep them under 11 inches. :yh_youkid

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:12 pm

koan;519290 wrote: If a woman buys a dildo, should they make sure that it isn't bigger in size than their mate? Is that threatening?
Nah its not threatening. A dude has what he has. If you aint happy with it there is nothing he an do. But he damn sure better be happy with it cause he is going to live with it the rest of his life.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:12 pm

Galbally;519296 wrote: I'll field this.

YES! Keep them under 11 inches. :yh_youkid

yes, I'm familiar with this strange tape measure that men use.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:12 pm

Accountable;519288 wrote: FG is just like real life. If you want a popular thread, go for either sex for violence. :wah:

See, Rupert Murdoch is no fool is he?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:13 pm

Having said that, you really dont want her coming home with the John Holmes replica model.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:16 pm

koan;519301 wrote: yes, I'm familiar with this strange tape measure that men use.

Oh you mean the meter stick?

Measuring your love? Actually thats one thing I've never done, and I'm not answering any questions further, other than to say I am anatomically completely normal, and white, so work it out for yourself. :yh_giggle

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:17 pm

YZGI;519304 wrote: Having said that, you really dont want her coming home with the John Holmes replica model.

I have no idea what that is, but it just sounds humiliating already! :yh_cry

Uncle Kram · Post by **Uncle Kram** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:19 pm

I've heard that snoring ISN'T the sound of a woman having an orgasm. Can this possibly be true? :-3

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:19 pm

Oh my, my brain is going on overload here with all this new info....but I gotta know!

what do you tell your kids when they comment on the strange noises coming from mommy and daddy's room the night before?

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:20 pm

Have you ever had a personal item go missing while in bed? If so, who's job was it to find it?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:29 pm

Sheryl;519316 wrote: Oh my, my brain is going on overload here with all this new info....but I gotta know!

what do you tell your kids when they comment on the strange noises coming from mommy and daddy's room the night before?
I have a funny story on that one. When the kids were younger, they were playing in the basement. The oldest came running upstairs banging on our door yelling that something was down stairs in the unfinished room. I threw on a robe and ran down. Went through the entire room and didnt find anything. Told the boys they were just hearing things. Went back upstairs and continued. Suddenly the oldest boy was at our door again saying strange noises were coming from the Unfinished room again. i went down again looked around, then thought wait, this room is right below our bedroom. Hmmm, we were a little quieter after we got done laughing about it.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:31 pm

YZGI;519330 wrote: I have a funny story on that one. When the kids were younger, they were playing in the basement. The oldest came running upstairs banging on our door yelling that something was down stairs in the unfinished room. I threw on a robe and ran down. Went through the entire room and didnt find anything. Told the boys they were just hearing things. Went back upstairs and continued. Suddenly the oldest boy was at our door again saying strange noises were coming from the Unfinished room again. i went down again looked around, then thought wait, this room is right below our bedroom. Hmmm, we were a little quieter after we got done laughing about it.

I havn't had such experiences yet, though I did go out with a nice girl with a young son, but he was a sleepy fellow thank god. You do certainly have to curb your enthusiasm sometimes I would say.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:34 pm

Is it true that pineapple juice makes a guy taste better?

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:36 pm

Sheryl;519335 wrote: Is it true that pineapple juice makes a guy taste better?

I thinks it's a myth, all guys are funky!!!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:36 pm

Sheryl;519335 wrote: Is it true that pineapple juice makes a guy taste better?
I reckon this is one for the ladies.

SuzyB · Post by **SuzyB** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:38 pm

SuzyB;519339 wrote: I thinks it's a myth, all guys are funky!!!

So i've been told!!!

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:40 pm

I know for a fact Rum and coke right after a swim makes the ladies taste great.

Sheryl · Post by **Sheryl** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:42 pm

:-3 making note not to read this thread when hubby is in room, espicially after the last remark. :wah:

So is it wrong to steal the batteries out of the kids to toys, to replace the dead ones in mine?

....not that I have any...

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:43 pm

YZGI;519340 wrote: I reckon this is one for the ladies.

I'd go for cherry brandy if a fruity flavour was desired.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:44 pm

Sheryl;519352 wrote: :-3 making note not to read this thread when hubby is in room, espicially after the last remark. :wah:

So is it wrong to steal the batteries out of the kids to toys, to replace the dead ones in mine?

....not that I have any...

Mine will grow up thinking batteries last for a day.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 1:54 pm

Dear YZGI, are you still answering questions about sex etc? I had to eat so I needed a break, but I am still finding myself drawn to this topic. So.

Dear YZGI who are dirtier, boys or girls?

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:06 pm

Galbally;519364 wrote: Dear YZGI, are you still answering questions about sex etc? I had to eat so I needed a break, but I am still finding myself drawn to this topic. So.

Dear YZGI who are dirtier, boys or girls?

I would say boys. We wouldnt mind doing it in a slaughter house as long as we are doing it. Besides girls are sugar and spice and all that.

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:20 pm

SuzyB;519339 wrote: I thinks it's a myth, all guys are funky!!!

I disagree....healthy diet is important though...:rolleyes:

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:21 pm

YZGI;519377 wrote: I would say boys. We wouldnt mind doing it in a slaughter house as long as we are doing it. Besides girls are sugar and spice and all that.

I have to say that "slaughter house" and "sex" are two ideas that I have never put together before and I always considered myself broadminded, sir you have opened these eyes a little wider tonight. :wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:23 pm

whew, took me forever to read through the thread, to make sure I didn't ask a question someone else has...

Okay...Dear YZGI...When a woman is tied to your bed...do you go watch tv?? so you can have quiet time??

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:25 pm

WonderWendy3;519396 wrote: whew, took me forever to read through the thread, to make sure I didn't ask a question someone else has...

Okay...Dear YZGI...When a woman is tied to your bed...do you go watch tv?? so you can have quiet time??
Wow absoluetly not. I stay right there until I get the gag in also.

Galbally · Post by **Galbally** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:31 pm

Dear YZGI, I have heard (somewhere) that once people get married it is still actually and technically possible for them to enjoy having sexual intercourse with one another, quite often, is this crazy story true?

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:32 pm

YZGI;519398 wrote: Wow absoluetly not. I stay right there until I get the gag in also.

so, instead of blind fold, she gets the gag??

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:33 pm

Galbally;519404 wrote: Dear YZGI, I have heard (somewhere) that once people get married it is still actually and technically possible for them to enjoy having sexual intercourse with one another, quite often, is this crazy story true?
Oh its absolutely true. Been married 27 yrs still go at it 2-3 times a week.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:34 pm

WonderWendy3;519405 wrote: so, instead of blind fold, she gets the gag??
Yup she gets the joke.

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:35 pm

Galbally;519404 wrote: Dear YZGI, I have heard (somewhere) that once people get married it is still actually and technically possible for them to enjoy having sexual intercourse with one another, quite often, is this crazy story true?
Until I can get the anti-nagging switch turned off for good I will keep trying.

koan · Post by **koan** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:42 pm

YZGI;519411 wrote: Until I can get the anti-nagging switch turned off for good I will keep trying.

maybe you should try using a golf ball :wah:

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:50 pm

Galbally;519404 wrote: Dear YZGI, I have heard (somewhere) that once people get married it is still actually and technically possible for them to enjoy having sexual intercourse with one another, quite often, is this crazy story true?

Yeah, I can testify for 15 years, very "active" and even adventerous...but he didn't feel it was important to pay the bills..:-1

WonderWendy3 · Post by **WonderWendy3** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:56 pm

jesse b;519433 wrote: how do you know ALL guys are funky

It's written on the bathroom walls and we believe it!!

venus · Post by **venus** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:04 pm

Pinky;518870 wrote: Ok, YZGI, why is it that fellas generally have to pinch all your covers and somehow push you over during the night so that you end up with about five inches of space?

dont forget hanging off the end with your pillows drooping over the end and they have the cheek to say move over still!!

and occasionally stop snoring!!:-3 maybe l shouldnt have admitted to that one!!

venus · Post by **venus** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:11 pm

Pinky;519453 wrote: Yup, no wonder I gave up.

Mr V finall admitted to a trick he has to gt more room or stop me from breathing heavy..as you do in sleep l still say l don't snore l mean l've never heard it!!:-3

As l slept on blissfully unaware of whatever it was that he wanted me to stop he would poke , prob, pinch my nose or something along those lines, l would jump awake.. he would reply to my startled noise with a sleepy sounding humm what are you ok darling , bad dream, go to sleep sweetheart....

the buggar!!

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:12 pm

venus;519459 wrote: Mr V finall admitted to a trick he has to gt more room or stop me from breathing heavy..as you do in sleep l still say l don't snore l mean l've never heard it!!:-3

As l slept on blissfully unaware of whatever it was that he wanted me to stop he would poke , prob, pinch my nose or something along those lines, l would jump awake.. he would reply to my startled noise with a sleepy sounding humm what are you ok darling , bad dream, go to sleep sweetheart....

the buggar!!

mwaaaoooohh mwaaaooohh i dont think suzy will be snoring for long tonight

venus · Post by **venus** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:16 pm

jimbo;519461 wrote: mwaaaoooohh mwaaaooohh i dont think suzy will be snoring for long tonight

:-3 you cruel man you!

Carl44 · Post by **Carl44** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:21 pm

venus;519464 wrote: :-3 you cruel man you!

i still cant believe you know geof thompson ... whats he like in real life in his book he comes across like a really nice gentle guy

he reminds me of some other bald hero who's name escapes me:D

YZGI · Post by **YZGI** » Tue Jan 16, 2007 3:34 pm

Pinky;519474 wrote: I used to do that to Si, as it sounded like an asthmatic warthog next to me.
A sure sign that the relationship has soured a bit. When you refer to them as a warthog.:wah: