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Bill Sikes wrote: Hm. It takes *two* to tango, you know.
no need to point that out, especially considering I have two of my own.

I was addressing the specific question of women having babies past a certain age.

Last I heard men were still unable to have children and biologically a man can impregnate a women at any age, there is no cut off age for sperm production.

Pinky wrote: [quote=Sikes]

Originally Posted by Bill Sikes

See earlier in this thread - you have to reach a decision some time, if you don't

need to wait, then off you go! If you *do* need to wait, then you have to

balance the time which you need to wait with the possibility of not having

children. It's as simple as that. No criticism intended now, or earlier.


What if you don't need to wait, go for it but they don't happen? If it finally happens at the age of forty, when you've been longing for a child for years then what right has anyone to deny you? Surely the time is right when it's right?


No-one should "deny you". I don't think I've said anywhere that they should!

Pinky wrote: Nah, I was just posing a question!;)

It's just that if you haven't had kids by your thirties, people just assume you didn't want them. Sadly not true in all cases!


Absolutely. I came to it rather late. I'm not dead yet, though, so given another

chance.....

They'd say "*What?* At *your* age???".

i dont think 40 is too old at all, i wasnt ready to have a baby until i was in my 30's, it depends entirely on the individual and what you feel you can offer a child, ive seen great young mums and great older mums, i do however think there is and should be a cut off point.

But then again menopause dictates that anyway doesnt it.

I had my kids in my twenties. it was a wonderful time in my life. no way in hell would i do it now. Even though it was fun, i am older and want a simpler quieter life at this point. Besides, i brought up four. i have done my share of the kids stuff.

I think this is an area where people need to - and will - make up their own minds irrespective of loads of other peoples' opinions. And unless these other peoples' opinions become law - China for instance does have rules about child producing - what we think is really only relevant to our own situations.

We all make plans, in some way, even those who plan not to make plans. And real life has a way of screwing with one's best laid plans anyway.....

Pinky;465162 wrote: I would love to even have the chance to do that stuff, but I guess I wont.


I am sorry that it hurts you to not of had a child pinky. :-4

Pinky;465158 wrote: I'm 31, it still hasn'y happened after a few years of hoping. TBH, I'm doubting that it ever will. what really REALLY gets to me is inconsiderate unfeeling people telling me I should 'Hurry up as I'm getting past it.'

How the hell I've refrained from smacking them one I just don't know.


Exactly, Pinky. Too many people want to live other peoples' lives for them, without knowing what the heck they're talking about.

There used to be a commission here set up to investigate the "ethics" etc of fertility programs of various sorts. One of the men I'd done a postgrad course with in administration was a leading light in the commission and I got to talking to him one day. He told me he was totally against people using 'unnatural' means to help conceive and quoted the Bible at me. He and his young wife had already at that point had seven children. It struck me at the time that he knew zilch about the heartbreak of a husband and wife who want kids and just don't get there, even once.

My beloved and I decided long ago that if she got preganant, great. If not, we would continue dating ... each other. This week is 21 years we've been married. I'm guessing kids are out.



Watch, now that I've said that in public. :-3

flopstock;434718 wrote: When the kids 25-30, they will hopefully have lives of their own to lead, so it doesn't really matter if she's ready for a home or not, IMO.



I had my youngest right before I turned 42 if I remember right.. My first two, ages 23 and 19 at the time, envy the time and attention I give to this one.



I work longer hours now then I did when I was young and somehow make the time to focus totally on her when she is around. Granted the kid could troubleshoot computers by the time she was 4, but that was because she'd ask and i'd answer questions..



She may not have the most of years to know me, but she will know the best of me... and I don't honestly think it was there to give when I was younger..


Lovely post Floppy....



I had my 3 kids in my early 20s..it was hard but we got through....



I know several women who have started their families in their 40s....they seem pretty relaxed about it and are wonderful mums...my own Mum was 35 when I was born.



I am personally NOT in favour of women having babies after the menopause which is natures way of saying 'no more babies', but I can appreciate the 'need' of a woman to have a child...In this day and age they have a choice I guess.



I also have friends that prefer their lives without children....again...the choice is theirs.

Accountable;465209 wrote: My beloved and I decided long ago that if she got preganant, great. If not, we would continue dating ... each other. This week is 21 years we've been married. I'm guessing kids are out.



Watch, now that I've said that in public. :-3


I'll babysit!!

Pinky;465166 wrote: I keep this quiet most of the time but it does my f'ing head in.

Other people seem to pop 'em out ten to the dozen. I no longer wait expectanatly every month for auntie Flo not to turn up, because I know she bloody well will. I get sick of the questions from both sides of the families, but I brush it all off with a smile and a laugh, because I don't want them to see the pain they cause me.

I'm going to go now, because this really starting to get to me.


We can be cycle buddies if you want. They just upped my meds. All that means is more diarrhea and MAYBE a baby. Big maybe.

My older brother and his wife tried everything under the sun for over ten years while my wife could get pregnant just by walking by me. Well after 10-12 yrs of spending a ton of money trying to have their own they decided to adopt. They adopted an infant boy. Ten months after adopting, yup you got it , she had herself a little girl.