ForumGarden

remind me not to pi$$ you ladies off.:-3

zinkyusa;465635 wrote: remind me not to pi$$ you ladies off.:-3


Bwahhh hawww hawwww Zee when I got divorced, I pulled all the wedding pics out of the photo album (my mom made it) kept the album, and had my girls take pics they wanted, then tossed all the loose pics in a bag and dropped them off at the ex's.... see I did not throw away or destroy the pics, that was left up to him ahahahahahaha :sneaky:

Well now we have just surpassed the 50 ways to leave your lover. Now on to the next 50 ways.

YZGI;465713 wrote: Well now we have just surpassed the 50 ways to leave your lover. Now on to the next 50 ways.




:yh_rotfl you go first ........

Just slip out the back Jack.

YZGI;465721 wrote: Just slip out the back Jack.


make a new plan Stan..

Don't need to be coy, Roy. :guitarist

I love the idea of mailing pieces to us all! How cathartic it would be to join with you in burning, flushing, throwing out of a fast-moving car, over the side of the boat with him, oh the ideas!! You don't have my address, but I'd gladly give it to you!!

I pulled all the grass out of my lawn, with my bare hands, imagining it was my exhusband's hair and bits of scalp, after I learned he had abused our daughter. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I still have enough anger left for your pieces of book though if you care to share it!

Mwaahaahaa!!

Spread all the pieces out on the floor then jump up and down on each one untill you pass out.

pompom;466291 wrote: I would cut out and rearrange some choice words from this dusty tome into a fitting epilogue. Then I might send it to him, or keep it for a while, or put it straight out with the cat litter. Then I'd start on a new story - guess who's not in it? And guess who'll be the heroine?



Good luck!:-6
Nah, keep him out of it. I'm familiar with this particular relationship, letting him know he had any effect at all will only feed his ego, and may actually cause him to try to come back.

pompom;466302 wrote: Life's that simple, huh? You're really a bloke, aren't you?
:wah:

Magenta flame;466295 wrote: Musty second hand book? Didn't happen to have it valued before you tore it up did you?

Jeeesshhh what ever happened to just going out and getting a new bloke?

I get very angry with women who break up with someone and then say the bloke treated them like crap...Well you were there, what did you do about it?... , at some point you allowed it to happen. At some point you thought being a masochist was a good healthy thing that you should have in your life. Otherwise why be in the relationship?:-5


No, I didn't have it valued...it was a Readers Digest musty second hand of a classic book. I knew it was worth nothing, not least because the man in question was miserly and gave nothing of value away.

I too used to feel angry at women who stayed in crap relationships, I couldn't understand why they just didn't get out. That was until recently...now I know why...

This type of man doesn't treat a woman like crap at the beginning, he's an absolute charmer, he builds up the woman's self esteem, he offers her the world, he offers himself and his "love." Then at a certain point when he feels he is gaining control over the woman, he subtly begins to "slap her down" and reject who she is. The woman thinks it's a temporary lapse on his part and overlooks it. She "knows" he loves her and she believes that it was probably something that she did wrong that caused the lapse. The man conspires in this and tells her that it was her fault. The woman makes up her mind that she won't let it happen again...she believes that her behaviour, her way of being and her personality must be flawed if she can upset this man who loves and adores her.

Thus begins a vicious and, yes, unhealthy cycle of control, manipulation and abuse. And whenever the woman says enough is enough, the charm offensive begins and, again, the woman allows herself to be drawn back to the relationship with a man who tells he she is the most important person in his life. She is desperate to rediscover the love that he offered in the beginning.

Victim behaviour? Yes, of course it is. It is the ultimate in giving one's power away to another. But it happens to women at those times when their self esteem is low and when it's easy to fall into this insidious and deceptive trap. I thought I was strong and that I could quite easily tell a man to **** off if he treated me badly. I was wrong, and never ever again will I condemn a woman for remaining in this type of relationship. I have also realised that for a man to exhibit this type of behaviour is indicative of his own flailing self esteem and self worth.

No-one truly believes that being a masochist is a good healthy thing, Magenta. But trying to rediscover the love that appeared to exist at the beginning of a relationship is both normal and very human.

I have had the most extraordinary support both publicly and via pms and emails whilst going through this. As he said, Acc knows far more about it than is apparent on the board. And Snooze, your venom on my behalf has been invaluable!! There are numerous people at FG who have encouraged me during this time and several in America who actively sought to get me out of the mess I found myself in when I went over to omaha. And Pompom has been my very best friend for over twenty years. I am so fortunate.

So, Magenta, I can understand your response...yes, that was me once upon a time...but, a word of caution, we never quite know what might be waiting for us around the corner!

When I said sell the shredded book on Ebay and buy wine with the proceeds, I also added that you hould recycle the wine back into it's bottle and send it to him! :wah:

I deleted the end bit as I thought it was TOO gross, but having seen these suggestions I really think you should! Get a bottle without UK markings, recycle the contents and send to him via a US FGer so he wont know its coming from you!

I'd be happy to take a bit of your book and stamp on it then I can either shred it and burn it or use it in the bunny litter tray. The choice is yours! :wah:

I'm pm-ing you my address.

Magenta flame;466295 wrote: Ummm I'm beginning to see why you ladies had break ups. What venom you gals have.!

Musty second hand book? Didn't happen to have it valued before you tore it up did you?

Jeeesshhh what ever happened to just going out and getting a new bloke?

I get very angry with women who break up with someone and then say the bloke treated them like crap...Well you were there, what did you do about it?... , at some point you allowed it to happen. At some point you thought being a masochist was a good healthy thing that you should have in your life. Otherwise why be in the relationship?:-5


Things are rarely that black and white Magenta but in my experience, holding on to bad stuff both mentally and physically can destroy you.......dump the book Theia ....straight in the garbage can and then forget it and him....close this chapter in your life and look forward to better things...:-4 :-4

theia;466369 wrote:

I too used to feel angry at women who stayed in crap relationships, I couldn't understand why they just didn't get out. That was until recently...now I know why...

This type of man doesn't treat a woman like crap at the beginning, ...
Great response theia. I'm glad you understand the phenomenon so well.

Too many people misunderstand how a misogynist works. There are many extremely intelligent and successful women in these kind of relationships. It looks dumb to someone who's never been through it but they are incredibly good liars. They follow a really slow and cleverly designed process in order to gain control over women.

The hardest part at the end isn't about trusting men again. It is the problem of trusting yourself. Fear that if someone was able to fool you so completely that you can't trust your own judgment anymore. Eventually the trust returns.

Does he say you're attractive? Does he compliment you? Does he give you compliments that nobody else gives you? Why would someone who doesn't know you very well take it upon themselves to compliment you in this way? Why?

Reality check people. It's a trap!



Magenta,

This is just too cynical. Men genuinely fall in love. Did you know that ? That men have sincere emotions ? Its true they do. Deciphering between whats genuine and whats not is another story but if you're telling Theia to lump all men into a pile of crap because of a bad experience is doing her a disservice and I personally take offence at that. Not to imply Theia cant make up her own mind, but what happens when a true gentleman compliments her beauty ? Its another trap I suppose.

Magenta flame;466833 wrote: Nomad I'd like to think the women here know what I'm talking about. don't shoot the messenger.


Im not shooting the messenger just the message. Many many men have good character. I assume your own husband does. Just dont lump me in with Theia's Omaha man, and you were doing that I think by making a blanket statement about men.

Magenta flame;466830 wrote: Ha Ha Ha :wah: , My husband just past the computer and read my posts. Apart from saying "who do you think you are? Dr Phil? He says I'm quite correct, that's exactly how men work things.




And you're saying that you know how to pick out good men? If your husband is male and says that all men act the way you describe then....

perhaps we should assume that your husband was being facetious.

I think you ought to go back and reread the OP. Theia had already decided to get rid of the book. The method was the only thing under consideration. She doesn't need "Dr Phil" telling her what she already knows. What she does need is a good laugh which is what we - her friends - were trying to do. If you need some dog to kick find something closer and more helpless. Until then, I find you obnoxious and uninformed.

koan;466862 wrote:

What she does need is a good laugh which is what we - her friends - were trying to do.


And, Koan, you all succeeded...thank you :-6

Theia and i talk privately via email...i adore her sweet nature and hope one day she'll come to florida instead of nasty old omaha! i'm going to get her drunk on margaritas and stuff her full of oysters!:-6 Theia, we can feed it to the sharks!

SnoozeControl;467019 wrote: Much the same way many members of this forum find you, Koan.




There was this little matter of saying one speaks for other members of the forum.

Nevertheless, the word "many" to cover the collective opinion of only a few well knowns is more than a little misleading.

"Until then, I find you obnoxious and uninformed"



SnoozeControl;467019 wrote: Much the same way many members of this forum find you, Koan.



Sorry Theia.


My instinct was to ignore this to 'protect' Theias thread, but I can't, and IMO this comment was not necessary. I guess there's some 'history' somewhere !!!! pity it can't be left in the past.

Theia, I am with you on this. You just took your first step back into the world of beautiful possibilities. I can tell you have reached the point to where now you can move on. It's so much easier now. Now you can begin living again. Welcome back sweetheart.:-4

Misereatur tui omnipotens Deus, et dimissis peccatis tuis, perducat te ad vitam aeternam. Ego te absolvo.

spot;467159 wrote: Misereatur tui omnipotens Deus, et dimissis peccatis tuis, perducat te ad vitam aeternam. Ego te absolvo.




Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam

Stop it, you two (Spot and Nomad)...you're reminding me how old I am and that my memory is failing fast...after studying Tacitus, Homer and Cicero at school, I should be able to translate your posts. And, sod it, I can't!!!

theia;467182 wrote: Stop it, you two (Spot and Nomad)...you're reminding me how old I am and that my memory is failing fast...after studying Tacitus, Homer and Cicero at school, I should be able to translate your posts. And, sod it, I can't!!!




A bene placito

theia;467182 wrote: Stop it, you two (Spot and Nomad)Audio, video, disco.

I thought I was cured of loving parasites and the emmotionally dead....

Till, to my surprise.. along came Fred.

I thought Id grown wise.... was nobodys fool...

Then to my surprise, along came Raoul.

A human heart that continues to love,

Never arms itself with weapons or boxing, gloves.

We go in the ring to give it one more round...

Believing a match of lovers will be found.

My friend in England is a woman whos wise...

She has the eyes of a doe, and a soul that cries,

For the time she spent trusting a narcissistic man.

She came to share herself with him, not knowing his plan.

It was, to make her feel small, so that he could feel good.

Hes got the mind of a snake, and a heart made of wood.

Its his loss, and if Karma is true..... he will regret forever,

losing a friend who was courageous and true.

Bye. bye Mr. Omaha...... you know how we all feel..

Your lost in the boring corn fields, we are left with what is real.

Theia will move on now, and discover things that are great.

For for the pure at heart, it never is too late,

To love again, or just to simply live.... knowing You are valued,

is a priceless gift.

Simply ask your granddaughter, your daughter, your friends, and your son.....

Yes, you were foolish for a while....... but its over, and done.

:yh_clap Way to go, Weeder!

weeder;467189 wrote: I thought I was cured of loving parasites and the emmotionally dead....

Till, to my surprise.. along came Fred.

I thought Id grown wise.... was nobodys fool...

Then to my surprise, along came Raoul.

A human heart that continues to love,

Never arms itself with weapons or boxing, gloves.

We go in the ring to give it one more round...

Believing a match of lovers will be found.

My friend in England is a woman whos wise...

She has the eyes of a doe, and a soul that cries,

For the time she spent trusting a narcissistic man.

She came to share herself with him, not knowing his plan.

It was, to make her feel small, so that he could feel good.

Hes got the mind of a snake, and a heart made of wood.

Its his loss, and if Karma is true..... he will regret forever,

losing a friend who was courageous and true.

Bye. bye Mr. Omaha...... you know how we all feel..

Your lost in the boring corn fields, we are left with what is real.

Theia will move on now, and discover things that are great.

For for the pure at heart, it never is too late,

To love again, or just to simply live.... knowing You are valued,

is a priceless gift.

Simply ask your granddaughter, your daughter, your friends, and your son.....

Yes, you were foolish for a while....... but its over, and done.


Oh Weeder! That is so, so beautiful...and it comes from someone who "knows," doesn't it?

...thank you, you lovely lady :-4