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kazalala;763097 wrote: I wonder if a turtle really does breath through its butt?From Negative test for cloacal drinking in a semi-aquatic turtle (Trachemys scripta), with comments on the functions of cloacal bursae: "several pleurodires have been shown recently to use them in aquatic respiration".

So, there's a minor subset of all species of turtle which can absorb oxygen when underwater through their cloacum, but most can't. It ought to say "SOME SORTS of turtles can breathe through their butts".

There's a link to that page from The Straight Dope which has more information still, AND A DIAGRAM.

spot;763104 wrote: From Negative test for cloacal drinking in a semi-aquatic turtle (Trachemys scripta), with comments on the functions of cloacal bursae: "several pleurodires have been shown recently to use them in aquatic respiration".

So, there's a minor subset of all species of turtle which can absorb oxygen when underwater through their cloacum, but most can't. It ought to say "SOME SORTS of turtles can breathe through their butts".


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotflThanks spot:D

spot;763104 wrote: From Negative test for cloacal drinking in a semi-aquatic turtle (Trachemys scripta), with comments on the functions of cloacal bursae: "several pleurodires have been shown recently to use them in aquatic respiration".



So, there's a minor subset of all species of turtle which can absorb oxygen when underwater through their cloacum, but most can't. It ought to say "SOME SORTS of turtles can breathe through their butts".


OK, so work with me here - I have deduced through this that quite a lot of former boyfriends are turtles, my theory goes thus -



to breathe through your butt implies that said butt is akin to a mouth



as mouths are commonly used for speach this implies that turtles talk out of their butts



thereby my former boyfriends who used to talk out their arses are, in fact, turtles.:D









I am slightly disconcerted to discover that I have dated animals, my only comfort is that I didn't indulge in sex with the aforementioned animals - well, not all of them anyway:sneaky:

Imladris;763106 wrote: OK, so work with me here - I have deduced through this that quite a lot of former boyfriends are turtles, my theory goes thus -



to breathe through your butt implies that said butt is akin to a mouth



as mouths are commonly used for speach this implies that turtles talk out of their butts



thereby my former boyfriends who used to talk out their arses are, in fact, turtles.:D









I am slightly disconcerted to discover that I have dated animals, my only comfort is that I didn't indulge in sex with the aforementioned animals - well, not all of them anyway:sneaky:


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

Imladris;763106 wrote: well, not all of them anyway:sneaky:
Or at least not all at the same time very often.

spot;763110 wrote: Or at least not all at the same time very often.




Oooh, you bugger, you've been watching!!!!

Imladris;763106 wrote: OK, so work with me here - I have deduced through this that quite a lot of former boyfriends are turtles, my theory goes thus -



to breathe through your butt implies that said butt is akin to a mouth



as mouths are commonly used for speach this implies that turtles talk out of their butts



thereby my former boyfriends who used to talk out their arses are, in fact, turtles.:D









I am slightly disconcerted to discover that I have dated animals, my only comfort is that I didn't indulge in sex with the aforementioned animals - well, not all of them anyway:sneaky:


HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!

Imladris;763111 wrote: Oooh, you bugger, you've been watching!!!!


You talk in your sleep.

spot;763114 wrote: You talk in your sleep.


:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:eek:

Immy is there something you need to tell us with regard to the Spot, Mrs :sneaky::wah:

G#Gill;763117 wrote: Immy is there something you need to tell us with regard to the Spot, Mrs :sneaky::wah:


I don't think I need to tell you anything.....









don't worry Spot my lips are sealed they won't get anything out of me without first torturing me................





or depriving me of chocolate:-3

spot;763029 wrote: So you keep telling me, it's a great fall-back excuse. I wouldn't have come in and spoken if it hadn't been for the "We live and learn something new every day dont we thats for sure".


And did we read the first line of the post? Or maybe that was added later?

grh;763125 wrote: And did we read the first line of the post? Or maybe that was added later?
NO grh that was not added later as it can be proved I am sure.

grh;763125 wrote: And did we read the first line of the post? Or maybe that was added later?


Of course I read the first line - "Proof That The World Is Nuts .......but is this actual facts???". The post's still full of racist belittling of foreigners, unintentional though Carolly was in spreading it. Oh - and as was mentioned somewhere earlier, of Liverpudlians too - the British go in for regional abuse and think that's funny as well.

You know, if any of those lines had Jew and Israel substituted I bet they'd cause a lot more offence. Here, let me show you:In Israel, Kibbutzim are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.

Jews are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

There are Jews in Israel whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Under Israeli law it's expressly forbidden for Jews to marry virgins.Offensive? Damn right it's offensive.

rjwould;763148 wrote: And don't any of even think about saying something about us American Christians, because with Bush still in office, we will simply bomb your ass.






Oi you American Christians, you think you're really great don't you, huh huh!



Well, come and have go if you think you're hard enough!!!!











*to be accompanied by the sound of Immy frantically running for cover whilst putting a suacepan on her head 'cos she's scared of bombs*

spot;763139 wrote: Of course I read the first line - "Proof That The World Is Nuts .......but is this actual facts???". The post's still full of racist belittling of foreigners, unintentional though Carolly was in spreading it. Oh - and as was mentioned somewhere earlier, of Liverpudlians too - the British go in for regional abuse and think that's funny as well.

You know, if any of those lines had Jew and Israel substituted I bet they'd cause a lot more offence. Here, let me show you:In Israel, Kibbutzim are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.

Jews are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

There are Jews in Israel whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Under Israeli law it's expressly forbidden for Jews to marry virgins.Offensive? Damn right it's offensive.


Actually thats true:o But we dont see it or mean it as abuse, we take the mick out of each other here, its our humour, we seem to know fine well when its just fun, or when its not I think wher i come from North of England we are probably the worst P takers, we do it to each other all the time. like i said its our humour, we understand that but sometimes people from other countries or even other parts of our own country dont get it.

By the way , no im still not offended. It just looks like you are telling me something i may not have known about a Jew or Kibutzim. there are probably a lot of things i dont know about other cultures religions etc. But i do know they must have theirr own ways, rules, rites etc. same as Catholics, Buddhists etc. Of course, if a person knowingly spreads lies about certain fractions because of their own prejudice, thats different, and as we have already acknowledged here, this wasnt the case as far as Carols intent.

rjwould;763148 wrote: he is calling a spade a spade which he as a responsible moderator should..I'm the most irresponsible Mod on the planet, and don't you forget it.

Shall we have another try at hammering this point home?In Alabama, blacks are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.

There are blacks in Mississippi whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Under Mississippi law it's expressly forbidden for blacks to marry virgins.The very structure of the sentences is racist, for goodness sake. These are racist jokes. It's horrifying that I'm having trouble making my point!

spot;763139 wrote: Of course I read the first line - "Proof That The World Is Nuts .......but is this actual facts???". The post's still full of racist belittling of foreigners, unintentional though Carolly was in spreading it. Oh - and as was mentioned somewhere earlier, of Liverpudlians too - the British go in for regional abuse and think that's funny as well.

You know, if any of those lines had Jew and Israel substituted I bet they'd cause a lot more offence. Here, let me show you:In Israel, Kibbutzim are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female.

Jews are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

There are Jews in Israel whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time. Under Israeli law it's expressly forbidden for Jews to marry virgins.Offensive? Damn right it's offensive.
Okay, maybe it's just me, but... not offensive at all spot. Mind you, I'm not jewish either, but even if you were to substitute 'cub fan' for any nationality listed here, I still would not be offended

spot;763154 wrote: It's horrifying that I'm having trouble making my point!


No Spot, I don't think you are, I think we get the point but perhaps we needed someone to point out the point (as it were!):-3

Spot, as long as you lay off the rednecks its all ok with me.

Oh dear Spot, you're like a dog with a bone. YES YES YES YES YES we know what you're driving at. Are you going to jump on everybody who cracks an Irish, Scottish, Welsh joke ? As I have said before, people shouldn't loose their sense of humour, or take things too literally, or too seriously.

My father was born in Wales, and he had a lovely sense of humour. He was so witty, there was never a dull moment when he was around, except when he had one of his rare 'black' moods (no Spot that isn't racist !), when we all used to keep our heads down and keep out of his way till the mood had passed. Perhaps you are having one of these Welsh 'black' moods today ? I do hope you will feel a little better soon chuck :-4

fuzzy butt;763214 wrote: Unfortunetly spot i dont have to it's common knowledge and why amnesty is so careful but if you want to persist on talking about it in an open forum I'm sure you wont mind the consequences of such an action. Why do you think it's not talked about . righteous indignation doesn't help in all circumstances


That really is quite opaque, I can't even work out which possible area we might be touching on. Indonesia holds foreigners on death row? Indonesia sentences people to death for crimes other than murder?

I'm sorry but the idea that the Indonesian prison service executes clandestinely without giving legal notice to prisoners in advance is just moonshine. It's common knowledge but nobody dares talk about it? Journalism doesn't work like that. Journalism publishes and be damned but there's no articles out there saying this. None. At best you're repeating something you've heard, but it can scarcely be either "common knowledge" or true. If it were true it would be a topic of international criticism.

Of course, it might be that it is a topic of international criticism and I've simply failed to unearth it, but it should be possible to provide a reference!

Good for you Fuzzy. Carol started a thread which was not intended to be anything but 'light', then Spot comes on and tries to insinuate that the tone of the thread is racist etc. I didn't take it as racist, neither did others that I am aware of. It did qualify, at the very first line, that there was doubt about the authenticity of the content. It does beg the question WHAT THE HELL SUBJECT ARE WE PERMITTED TO TALK ABOUT WITHOUT RISKING THE START OF WORLD WAR 3 ????????

Now you know why I don't post very often on other threads in FG, cos I'm bloody running out of egg shells !!!! :-5:-5 :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

So is everybody having a good time??:guitarist:guitarist...Gawd I nearly got killed before when I stopped in the middle of the motorway to pick up a 10p piece...if I had done I guess on my death certificate it would have said.....natural causes.............because you see I am Jewish and if someone wants to take the mick out of that ............including myself I have no problem at all;)

Excellent post Carolly, cheered me up no end, some journalist smashed into my car when I was leaving work tonight, she was driving down a one-way-system the wrong way. Need a new bumper etc so costly stuff, was feeling crap and this funny tit bit cheered me up no end. I havent read it as a racist post nor did I believe that it was all fact, just a laugh, maybe thats cos I take things at face value and dont analyse every word thats posted on this forum.

Good for you Carol ! As I have already said - I am running out of egg shells, and if people reading these threads are incapable of laughing with others at themselves, then I really feel sorry for them !

Chezzie;763248 wrote: Excellent post Carolly, cheered me up no end, some journalist smashed into my car when I was leaving work tonight, she was driving down a one-way-system the wrong way. Need a new bumper etc so costly stuff, was feeling crap and this funny tit bit cheered me up no end. I havent read it as a racist post nor did I believe that it was all fact, just a laugh, maybe thats cos I take things at face value and dont analyse every word thats posted on this forum.
Oh Chez..hope yer ok babesxxxxxxxxx

rjwould;763242 wrote: That I don't know about, but you are a good one.

I hope everyone here appreciates Spot's purpose as I see it (LOL). There are others lurking here deciding whether or not to join this forum, some of those people may be from cultures which were berated in those seemingly light hearted jokes or tales. I think it is best to be safe and not post potentially inflammatory stuff which is culture based.


Great to hear you're going to be laying off your incessant republican bashing, rj. It's wonderful that you finally have wised up to the fact that not everyone may take your snide and ignorant attempts at humor at face value and that if they opt not to join us because of your rudeness we could be missing out on some valuable discussion on topics!:-6

YZGI;763170 wrote: Spot, as long as you lay off the rednecks its all ok with me.
Sorry to all the rednecks that are lurking and trying to decide to join this forum. We mean no harm and all rednecks are welcome..

Apologies to any journalists lurking too, im sure most of you drive perfectly well.:D

I apologize for nothing for it is because of me that we can call this world crazy!:D

I apologise to all the mormons who can't take anything in a light vein:-6

And i apologize to anyone who wanted to use that 2nd 'm' ... I got it first!:p

rjwould;763363 wrote: Republicans like to fight....Your a testament to that..


We do not...Liberals are whiners....



:wah::wah::wah:

I dont apologise for making people laugh today and if this thread caused just one person to cheer up because of problems at home.....illness or whatever...its been worth it.

grh;763362 wrote: I apologise to all the mormons who can't take anything in a light vein:-6



And i apologize to anyone who wanted to use that 2nd 'm' ... I got it first!:p
I've been missing that `m` for a long time, for awhile I thought Jimbo had it but he proved me wrong.

Crikey!!! Whats been going on here ...... turn your back for one minute and all hell lets loose :wah:

ThePheasant;763371 wrote: Crikey!!! Whats been going on here ...... turn your back for one minute and all hell lets loose :wah:Oh nofing much Pheasy:wah::wah::wah:

Carol, thanks for this thread chuck, it has certainly helped me forget my aches and pains a bit, and now I've got aching sides !!!! Thanks for making me laugh so much Mrs. :-6 :-4

rjwould;763370 wrote: At least I now know how I p!ssed in your cheerios, grh...I knew you would let it out sooner or later...


ewww hope you never ate them afterwards Grh... cheeze n urine cheerios....nooooooooooooo way:yh_sick:yh_sick:yh_sick

rjwould;763373 wrote: She never mentioned my incessant "whining" about republicans..She said "bashing" and even that is a little overboard but, hey, she is liable to run amok now and then...


I was kidding wif ya!!:wah::wah:

It was a joke...it's okay....all is well...would you like me to make you some brownies?? I only live a few hours away....where exactly in PA are you located?:driving:

WonderWendy3;763384 wrote: I was kidding wif ya!!:wah::wah:

It was a joke...it's okay....all is well...would you like me to make you some brownies?? I only live a few hours away....where exactly in PA are you located?:driving:


HOMEmade brownies, still steaming from your oven?:D

rjwould;763390 wrote: What's in them?

Lancaster, PA.


I live closer, but sorry I don't do brownies ... .... do you like burnt pizza :-4

rjwould;763390 wrote: What's in them?

Lancaster, PA.


Oh, my secret recipe!! muwhaahahahahahaha.....I used to live in York, PA...what a crazy small world we live in huh?

So, do you live near any of those wonderful Amish farms?

rjwould;763370 wrote: At least I now know how I p!ssed in your cheerios, grh...I knew you would let it out sooner or later...


This is my new favourite expression!



I used 'that's pizzed on your bonfire' the other day in front of my mum, she hadn't heard that before and nearly expired from laughing - she'd better watch out now!!:wah:

we always say; well that pissed on his chips:wah:

I'll be honest here.....i haven't read all of the thread

But i for one thought it was funny carol....thanks for putting it up here :wah:

Chezzie;763416 wrote: we always say; well that pissed on his chips:wah:mmmmmmm I love chips......mind you I love anyfing:wah::wah::wah:

kinks;763423 wrote: I'll be honest here.....i haven't read all of the thread

But i for one thought it was funny carol....thanks for putting it up here :wah:What threadOh yeeeeeeee I forgot:wah::wah::rolleyes: