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jimbo;1114928 wrote: what has he done now ???





forgot himself and told the truth about something :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl


But Jumbo.. You know how it is... the moment i post anything about Scotland, that haggis botherer jumps out on me :yh_rotfl

His Gordonness is giving more money to that Scottish bank to bail them out. :-5:-5:-5

jimbo;1114949 wrote: i tell you what i have nothing but admiration for them thistlled testical lot :wah::wah:



the smoking ban was first tried in scotland and now everyone thinks it is great

and a whole load of other good laws have just come into force that they first tried out :-6:-6:-6


Yes we know all that but i can't admit to liking anything about Scotworld or that kilt flinger will think i'm warming to him.

jimbo;1114952 wrote: oh i get it ;)

there is no tosser like a thistled testicilled tarton tosser eh :rolleyes::rolleyes:


I'd like you to say that after 8 pints of lager :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

jimbo;1114959 wrote: their is talking bollox and then there is talking brave heart bollox :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl



you will all be pleased to know i have to log off for a while to go to the docs :D


Something painfull i hope :wah:

Me too...... catch yer later Spock

Leave me alone;1114689 wrote: They have never helped anyone yet.

:yh_wave:yh_wave:yh_wave:yh_wave:yh_wave


They have been known to help themselves rather a lot.

gmc;1114980 wrote: They have been known to help themselves rather a lot.


Now they just helped themselves to your Bank, oh Scottish party of one :yh_rotfl

Tony Bliar and that sorry excuse for a humanoid which Oscar worships are war criminals, but they are also guilty of destroying the Labour party.

What is now represented as "New Labour" is something which would make real socailists such as Keir Hardie, John MacLean or Manny Shinwell revolve in their graves (at a very high rate of knots).

Chookie;1115601 wrote: Tony Bliar and that sorry excuse for a humanoid which Oscar worships are war criminals, but they are also guilty of destroying the Labour party.

What is now represented as "New Labour" is something which would make real socailists such as Keir Hardie, John MacLean or Manny Shinwell revolve in their graves (at a very high rate of knots).


My father would be doing somersaults as well

There you go auld yin...... you were expecting me to be caustic to you :):)

Whilst driving through city centre Bristol today, I spied a slanderous advertising poster. I am so out-raged i shall be reporting it first thing in the morning to the Advertising Standards peeps.

There on the side of the main road out of the city was a billboard that seemed 90 foot high.

It was a picture of a beutiful smiling new-born baby. One side, it siad 'His mothers eyes'..... The other side, it said 'His fathers mouth'.

Underneath in humungus bold letters it said 'Gordon Brown's debt'.

Well, it's just not funny and is nothing more than a slanderous campaign by David Cameron.

I shall be erecting scaffolding and tearing it down with my bear hands.

Oscar: At first I thought you meant "bare" hands. Then I realised you probably didn't.:sneaky:

paw little oscar


AAAAaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!:wah:

Actually, I think bear paws would rather suit Oscar. Hmm. I wonder if a joke shop might have a pair.

If she wore them topless and holding fruit she'd have one pair of bear paws, a pear, and a bare pair.

Time to pause.

Clodhopper;1115936 wrote: Actually, I think bear paws would rather suit Oscar. Hmm. I wonder if a joke shop might have a pair.

If she wore them topless and holding fruit she'd have one pair of bear paws, a pear, and a bare pair.

Time to pause.


How very very dare you!!!!!!!

Clodhopper;1115936 wrote: Actually, I think bear paws would rather suit Oscar. Hmm. I wonder if a joke shop might have a pair.

If she wore them topless and holding fruit she'd have one pair of bear paws, a pear, and a bare pair.

Time to pause.


:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl oops, sorry Oscar - just couldn't help myself

G#Gill;1116102 wrote: :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl oops, sorry Oscar - just couldn't help myself


This thread is rapidly descending into the basement department since Jumbo got a new school friend, Clodhopper. I visulise them as a pair of naughty boys playing conkers. :wah:

I certainly don't want to think of myself topless holding fruit with bear paws....... some people have very warped imaginations. Besides, I'd probably be arrested!

:yh_angel:yh_battin

Clodhopper;1116301 wrote: :yh_angel:yh_battin


:yh_eyebro:yh_eyebro:yh_eyebro:yh_eyebro:yh_eyebro

:p:-3;)

:yh_kiss

Clodhopper;1116319 wrote: :p:-3;)

:yh_kiss




:yh_hypno

:yh_worshp

:yh_monkey

:yh_eyerol

:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

....final proof that 99% of communication is non-verbal!

Clodhopper;1116424 wrote: :yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl:yh_rotfl

....final proof that 99% of communication is non-verbal!


I'm having :yh_coffee

You make me :yh_sweat

Let's be :yh_silly

Got any :yh_money

Then I'll :yh_kiss yer

Yeah, just winding down with a cuppa before bed. Just popped in to see what was going on.

Tea. The true drink of the Gods. And other English folk.

Clodhopper;1116432 wrote: Yeah, just winding down with a cuppa before bed. Just popped in to see what was going on.

Tea. The true drink of the Gods. And other English folk.


AH Tea..... The British basic staple diet. Yorkshire extra strong of course!!

:yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_drool:yh_drool

Not for me at this time of night. I just wave a teabag vaguely at the bucket.

Camomile's pretty good as a nightcap too.

Leave me alone;1114544 wrote: I know this one is true.



An Old priest lay dying in hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of London. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

"Yes, Father?" she said.

"I would really like to see Tony Blair and Gordon Brown before I die," whispered the preist

"I'll see what I can do, Father," said the nurse. The nurse sent the request to the House of Commons and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived that Tony and Gordon would be delighted to meet the priest.

As they went to the hospital, Gordon commented to Tony: "I don't know why the old priest would want to meet us, but it certainly might help our images and even get me elected for Prime Minister for another term. Tony agreed that it was a very good especially if they got press coverage.

When they arrived at the hospital bed the old priest took Gordan's hand in his right hand and Tony's Hand in his left.

There was a silence and the look of serenity on the priest face.

Finally Gordon spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen why choose us to be with you as you near the end?"

The Old preist replied slowly: "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ."

"Amen" said Gordon.

"Amen" said Tony.

The old priest continued: "He died between two lying bastards. I would like to do the same."


Your Columbian i believe? :yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey

laughs. I'm very bad at remembering jokes.

This is an old favourite. You probably know it.

There was a Fransiscan monk

Who went to sleep in his bunk.

He dreamed that Venus

Was sucking his elbow

And woke up covered in sweat.

Anyway, goodnight!

Clodhopper;1116449 wrote: laughs. I'm very bad at remembering jokes.

This is an old favourite. You probably know it.

There was a Fransiscan monk

Who went to sleep in his bunk.

He dreamed that Venus

Was sucking his elbow

And woke up covered in sweat.

Anyway, goodnight!


:yh_laugh:yh_laugh:yh_laugh:yh_laugh:yh_laugh



Goodnight

oscar;1116440 wrote: Your Columbian i believe? :yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey:yh_monkey


Is that better than Mexican? If so i am Colombian, well for 10 minutes at least.

Leave me alone;1116840 wrote: Is that better than Mexican? If so i am Colombian, well for 10 minutes at least.


My apologies, it appears i was wrong..... Your Argentinian i believe

oscar;1116842 wrote: My apologies, it appears i was wrong..... Your Argentinian i believe


Is Argentinian better than Mexican or Colombian? if so i am an Argie.

I would quite like to be Italian for a day or two if i may.

Leave me alone;1116852 wrote: Is Argentinian better than Mexican or Colombian? if so i am an Argie.

I would quite like to be Italian for a day or two if i may.


No you can't..... Italians are the gods of footie. You can't beat a bit of 'Totti' you know!

Anyway, doesn't your visa run out shortley?????????

oscar;1116861 wrote: No you can't..... Italians are the gods of footie. You can't beat a bit of 'Totti' you know!

Anyway, doesn't your visa run out shortley?????????
Fat bloke down the pub knocks visas out two a penny. Well 3 quid actually.

You forgetting the Portuguese genius that is Ronaldo, not that i fancy footballers mind, prefer them hot totty tennis players at Wimbledon.:-4

Leave me alone;1116840 wrote: Is that better than Mexican? If so i am Colombian, well for 10 minutes at least.
Are you Mexican, seriously? :yh_rotfl OMG!! Didnt realise the Rio Grande flowed this far! Great food, btw...

made a wrong turn at albequerque, surely?

Raven;1116874 wrote: Are you Mexican, seriously? :yh_rotfl OMG!! Didnt realise the Rio Grande flowed this far! Great food, btw...

made a wrong turn at albequerque, surely?


Not Mexican, honest:wah:.

I need to go check my birth certificate, not even i know where i am from now.

Leave me alone;1116886 wrote: Not Mexican, honest:wah:.

I need to go check my birth certificate, not even i know where i am from now.


Mine says Fort Hood Texas. Go figure.:yh_rotfl

Leave me alone;1116886 wrote: Not Mexican, honest:wah:.

I need to go check my birth certificate, not even i know where i am from now.:DHave you got a birth certificate?? I thought you had an apology from the Durex factory.

Raven;1116889 wrote: Mine says Fort Hood Texas. Go figure.:yh_rotfl


Ah German then.:p

oscar;1116890 wrote: Have you got a birth certificate?? I thought you had an apology from the Durex factory.


It was an old Smiths crisp packet according to my Dad's.

Leave me alone;1116899 wrote: Ah German then.:pAll British royalty are German so you can't be German.

Your a chimpanzee from Bristol zoo.

Leave me alone;1116899 wrote: Ah German then.:p
seminole native, english, irish, french and dutch. Your basic recipe for AMERICAN. (living in Britain)

Raven;1116906 wrote: seminole native, english, irish, french and dutch. Your basic recipe for AMERICAN. (living in Britain)


Psst, i guessed you were American really.

oscar;1116903 wrote: All British royalty are German so you can't be German.

Your a chimpanzee from Bristol zoo.


No way to talk about Raven:rolleyes:

Gordon Bennet! Really! Cor Blimey! Guess I better work on the accent some more then!:yh_rotfl

Leave me alone;1116912 wrote: Psst, i guessed you were American really. I have to log off now to go and talk to some-one more interesting than you Chimp.

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee