Numbers 31
Being female: Not so good if you're squatting on Israel's land. After they take the Moabite city of Midian, killing five kings and poor Balaam, who must not have gat quickly enough, they haul all the captives back to Moses who freaks out. “What's with all the women and children being not dead? Moses has a reason for wanting the women and children killed but it's irrelevant as it's the only time they bother to justify it... and it happens a lot more.
Purification rituals take place so they don't have to throw out all the pagan stuff along with killing all the prisoners, saving only the young virgin girls. Thirty two thousand virgins, so, take that, Muslim's who only get seventy two.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 32
Two and a half tribes approach Moses with a proposition:
“Yo, Mo, this is kind of nice right here. My cattle are comfy, my wife saw a cute little house we could salvage from the ruins...”
“No, no, a thousand times, no. If you stay then everyone will want to stay.”
“We've already conquered it, it would be a shame to just walk away.”
“You're making God angry. We all had to wander for forty years until the belligerent fools died last time they tried to do this. You can't abandon your people.”
So the tribes of Reuben, Gad and half of Manasseh make a deal to send all their warriors to continue the Promised Land Plight if they can leave their cattle and families on the perfectly good land they already had. No one thought it would be more efficient to leave all of the non fighting personnel, like most tribes that go to war, but it was already a little risky in the God's Wrath department so I can see why they didn't push their luck. Additionally they'd have to keep the baby factory operational to replace the legions who get smote on occasion.
Two and a half tribes approach Moses with a proposition:
“Yo, Mo, this is kind of nice right here. My cattle are comfy, my wife saw a cute little house we could salvage from the ruins...”
“No, no, a thousand times, no. If you stay then everyone will want to stay.”
“We've already conquered it, it would be a shame to just walk away.”
“You're making God angry. We all had to wander for forty years until the belligerent fools died last time they tried to do this. You can't abandon your people.”
So the tribes of Reuben, Gad and half of Manasseh make a deal to send all their warriors to continue the Promised Land Plight if they can leave their cattle and families on the perfectly good land they already had. No one thought it would be more efficient to leave all of the non fighting personnel, like most tribes that go to war, but it was already a little risky in the God's Wrath department so I can see why they didn't push their luck. Additionally they'd have to keep the baby factory operational to replace the legions who get smote on occasion.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 33
What is the number of campgrounds Israel has set up since leaving Egypt? 44
What is the number of times they've been told not to worship false gods? More than 44
Moses gives a little pep talk to the people before they try to cross the Jordan.
“Now remember: One God good. Two gods bad.
“What about the pixies?
“Bad. Bad question... What do you mean pixies?
“You know, they dance around the flowers and plants. Really cute little guys.
“Do you worship them or just talk to them?
“Well, they don't really talk they just dance around...
“What the... NO! One God. No pixies.
What is the number of campgrounds Israel has set up since leaving Egypt? 44
What is the number of times they've been told not to worship false gods? More than 44
Moses gives a little pep talk to the people before they try to cross the Jordan.
“Now remember: One God good. Two gods bad.
“What about the pixies?
“Bad. Bad question... What do you mean pixies?
“You know, they dance around the flowers and plants. Really cute little guys.
“Do you worship them or just talk to them?
“Well, they don't really talk they just dance around...
“What the... NO! One God. No pixies.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 34
There is a brief review of what land they're after, as a reminder. It seems a little early to be counting chickens that aren't in baskets but it's probably good for morale.
As many of the leaders of the tribes that existed when they first set out are dead, they name the new, official leaders who will be group captains in case anyone gets lost, confused or, most likely, needs someone to complain to.
“Alright, now. Does everybody have a name tag?”
“Raise your hand if you don't have one.”
“Does everybody see their group leader? Leaders, raise your hands.”
“You've all been given straws. Don't lose those. If you lose it, you won't get a chance to claim land later on so... put it somewhere safe.”
There is a brief review of what land they're after, as a reminder. It seems a little early to be counting chickens that aren't in baskets but it's probably good for morale.
As many of the leaders of the tribes that existed when they first set out are dead, they name the new, official leaders who will be group captains in case anyone gets lost, confused or, most likely, needs someone to complain to.
“Alright, now. Does everybody have a name tag?”
“Raise your hand if you don't have one.”
“Does everybody see their group leader? Leaders, raise your hands.”
“You've all been given straws. Don't lose those. If you lose it, you won't get a chance to claim land later on so... put it somewhere safe.”
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 35
God comes up with the idea for refuges/prisons. Essentially they are prison cities but it's really exciting to note that they are actually supposed to be refuges for people suspected of murder, awaiting trial or escaping the required vigilante “eye for an eye” killing that God's already prescribed. He seems to have recognized that there are some accidents and sometimes there are, sometimes, extenuating circumstances.
To prove murder, more than one witness is required. If it's proved that it isn't an accident the murderer must die but if it was just manslaughter the person has to stay in the refuge until the warden dies then they can go. I wonder how many wardens met an early death. Anyway, it's nice to see that God recognizes one can happen to drop a large stone on someone without malice. Also, no one is allowed to buy themselves out of jail/refuge.
God comes up with the idea for refuges/prisons. Essentially they are prison cities but it's really exciting to note that they are actually supposed to be refuges for people suspected of murder, awaiting trial or escaping the required vigilante “eye for an eye” killing that God's already prescribed. He seems to have recognized that there are some accidents and sometimes there are, sometimes, extenuating circumstances.
To prove murder, more than one witness is required. If it's proved that it isn't an accident the murderer must die but if it was just manslaughter the person has to stay in the refuge until the warden dies then they can go. I wonder how many wardens met an early death. Anyway, it's nice to see that God recognizes one can happen to drop a large stone on someone without malice. Also, no one is allowed to buy themselves out of jail/refuge.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers 36
Between a rock and a hard place, God decides that it's better if women who own land are only allowed to marry within their own tribe rather than dowry their inheritance to another tribe of Israel. So land is more important than genetics? Well, I'm not a scientist and love is overrated. They're all going to lose the land later anyways so this question was kind of a waste of everyone's time. Nobody thought to suggest women get more rights to maintain individual ownership but, if it had been suggested, I'm sure God would have picked that one.
Between a rock and a hard place, God decides that it's better if women who own land are only allowed to marry within their own tribe rather than dowry their inheritance to another tribe of Israel. So land is more important than genetics? Well, I'm not a scientist and love is overrated. They're all going to lose the land later anyways so this question was kind of a waste of everyone's time. Nobody thought to suggest women get more rights to maintain individual ownership but, if it had been suggested, I'm sure God would have picked that one.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Numbers Summary
Damn. How many chapters are in Numbers? 36
That was kind of a lame ending. I like a bit of a cliff hanger or intense foreshadowing at the end of a saga book. Nevertheless, we did get some good action here.
We've discovered that God talks to pagans (Balaam), even when they are the enemy. We've discovered that, if the Israelites don't stop a whoring with other gods, God will take all their land away. We've discovered that all it takes is a little punani to get the Israelites a whoring... but using that trick will justify the slaughter of all the women and children along with the usual male victims. There has been a lot of discontent with Moses' leadership and he would have been strung up long ago if they could figure out how the ark works.
We've also discovered that, when there is a pause in traveling, there's a whole lot of talking about what people are going to do with things they don't yet have.
Damn. How many chapters are in Numbers? 36
That was kind of a lame ending. I like a bit of a cliff hanger or intense foreshadowing at the end of a saga book. Nevertheless, we did get some good action here.
We've discovered that God talks to pagans (Balaam), even when they are the enemy. We've discovered that, if the Israelites don't stop a whoring with other gods, God will take all their land away. We've discovered that all it takes is a little punani to get the Israelites a whoring... but using that trick will justify the slaughter of all the women and children along with the usual male victims. There has been a lot of discontent with Moses' leadership and he would have been strung up long ago if they could figure out how the ark works.
We've also discovered that, when there is a pause in traveling, there's a whole lot of talking about what people are going to do with things they don't yet have.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Damn, no "get out of jail card free". That is a real bummer. With all that whoring its a wonder any had time for affairs of state. Then there was Solomon who had 700 wives and concubines. He must have been tired all the time. Maybe worn down a little too.
Shalom
Ted
Shalom
Ted
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Does it say what happened to all those with whom the Israelites were a whoring? Did they have a special sort of smiting or just the usual run-of-the-mill, another-one- bites-the- dust kind? And with the numerous wives and concubines that Solomon took for his own, I'm surprised that there were very many whorable women left.
Nice job, Koan.
Nice job, Koan.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Mostly, enemy whores get killed with the edge of the blade and/or burned. Resident whores get stoned. I haven't gotten to Solomon yet but have found a concubine with a disturbing fate in Judges so far.... sort of makes for a modern CSI episode. It took me a bit to get used to "a whoring" meaning worshiping other gods instead of referring to red light districts. The men get punished by running off to war and losing it, so God pretty much just lets the bad guys handle the dirty work for Him. Curiously they don't seem to know they've been whoring until after they lose a battle. Then all of a sudden it's "ah!!! I wondered what those 300 hundred people were doing chanting and dancing around a makeshift altar last night. I guess George was right, they did turn him into a newt."
Yeah, Ted, I guess it makes sense why God has to keep repeating the laws. Someone had to run the state... and the pixies weren't up to the task.
Yeah, Ted, I guess it makes sense why God has to keep repeating the laws. Someone had to run the state... and the pixies weren't up to the task.
Koan's notes on the OT: Book 4 - Numbers
Where are pixies when you need them?