Zimbabwe wedding

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Wed Jan 24, 2018 7:23 pm

Oh crikey. Very best wishes.

Post by **spot** » Thu Jan 25, 2018 2:16 am

That's terrible news, I do hope he fully recovers. It sounds as though he got back to England before any symptoms showed?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Thu Jan 25, 2018 4:16 am

Yes no symptoms until after arrival back,he has lived here over 25 years at least, his was his first trip back.

We went directly to the hospital from Heathrow, my wife hasn't left there yet. I took suitcases home alone.

After the doctor's visit this morning she phoned me, resigned to the fact it is the machines that are keeping him alive, asking me to tidy the house for the traditional gathering after a death.

The bride, his sister was due to arrive today from Nigeria.

Life can teach cruel lessons, he insisted his 2 kids took anti malarial tablets, and they are both now crying because he didn't. And the type of malaria is the deadliest one, how unlucky can a person get ?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Jan 25, 2018 5:17 am

Wow Bruv, I'm shocked to hear all this, what a terrible turn of events for you all.

I will send healing and light to you all and hope that he rallies round :-4 :-4

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Thu Jan 25, 2018 6:00 am

I am very shocked to hear this terrible news. I will be thinking of you Bruv, my friend.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Jan 27, 2018 6:36 pm

We are now on the third day of gathering to pay condolences.

His new wife's 15 year old son found him unresponsive at 4.00 pm after school, he first phoned his mother who told him to call an ambulance, which he did.

We now understand at that time he was brain dead.

It seems he was sedated to control what sounds like fitting, and this sedation has to be out of his system before tests to ascertain whether he is brain dead can be carried out.

The tests happened on the second day of our return, one family member was allowed to witness the procedure of 5 tests, that happen twice with 2 Consultants of standing present.

The tests are to prove if without the help of the machines his own body could sustain his life, the functions that are lacking are reflex ones, such as heart, blink and gag reflexes,

He failed on all counts as was expected by the doctors, the option was to switch the machinery off, with the family consent.

We were given time to discuss, given answers to all of our questions with great patience and understanding.

The 20 year old son spoke with full grasp of the situation, saying that his father was now dead, and sitting watching his chest rise and fall was for our own satisfaction and of no value to his dad.

So that is what happened, the time of death was 15.48 on 24th January.

People have traveled from as far away as Newcastle, Doncaster, Nottingham, and a family representative from the in laws in Nigeria.

A collection is made for provisions, food and drink washing up liquid and even toilet tissue, and the ladies take over the kitchen preparing food and drink for whoever arrive. A marquee type tent has been erected in my small back garden with calor gas fires, so the men can sit outside, chairs have been borrowed from their church.

My front door has been unlocked for the duration, and as the groups arrive everybody circles those present shaking hands offering condolences to relatives especially the mother with a lot of sobbing and wailing. Then there are prayers, and preaching, and a lot of singing African style acappella with amazing harmonies, and all off the cuff amongst people that have just came together unpracticed. It all happens with no apparent organisation, just a tradition going back many years.

It is in complete contrast to the way death is handled in many western cultures, where embarrassment makes many shun offering condolence or for those grieving to show emotion.

An eye opening experience I would have preferred not to have had to witness.

Post by **spot** » Sat Jan 27, 2018 6:43 pm

You have my sympathy, it is a terrible time for all of you.

Post by **LarsMac** » Sat Jan 27, 2018 10:36 pm

What a tragic finish to what was a joyful celebration. My condolences to you and your family.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sun Jan 28, 2018 6:19 am

My heart breaks for you and your beautiful family (((Bruv))).

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Sun Jan 28, 2018 11:01 am

I've just read through this thread and enjoyed imagining the wonderful celebrations, so it comes as such a shock to read of such a tragic ending to a wonderful and joyful event. My heartfelt thoughts and sympathies go to you and all your lovely family. How strong the son was over it all, despite how devastated he must have been.

Wandrin · Post by **Wandrin** » Sun Jan 28, 2018 6:04 pm

I'm so sorry to hear this, Bruv. My condolences to your family.

Post by **Bryn Mawr** » Sun Feb 04, 2018 6:58 am

Tragic news Bruv, my heartfelt condolences.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Feb 04, 2018 12:53 pm

I promised to share some photos, how about an hour long video ?

Hoping this works..................

Traditional Zimbabwean Wedding video

I will answer any questions in due course.

( I am the white bloke)

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Feb 17, 2018 1:10 pm

A brief update, the coroner has released the death certificate.

The family is questioning why a person complaining of feverish high temperature, and recently returning from 2 African countries wasn't given a fast track malaria blood test in the first instant........................or at the second visit to the doctor.

Only getting a standard "Results will be in the post" despite the fact there is a test that returns virtually instant results.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:41 am

Very sorry to see this. Not much one can say, really. My deepest sympathy to all.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sat Mar 10, 2018 3:44 pm

The funeral will be next Thursday 15th. it will be shown live on Facebook

Here is the local paper's coverage Farai 'Blade' Nzou.

I hope to start showing photos of our wedding trip some time next week.

Thanks for the condolences, it has been a hard time for friends and family, especially his mother

Orion79 · Post by **Orion79** » Mon Mar 12, 2018 4:52 am

My deepest sympathy to you all.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Mar 18, 2018 1:28 pm

The funeral went as well as any funeral can go.

A LINK to give a flavour of a Zimbabwean funeral.

AnneBoleyn · Post by **AnneBoleyn** » Sun Mar 18, 2018 2:13 pm

Bruv my heart breaks for you & yours. A thousand hugs.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:29 pm

Thanks Annie.

He was a very popular fellow, and his mother's 'boy', always on hand to clean her car or change tyres, he even decorated the bathroom while we were away on holiday one time.

He used to pop in most days, if not he would phone.

Luckily his mum and family are heavy Christians and they take it as Gods will, it was his time apparently, so who are they to cry when God took him back ?

Who am I to argue if it gives them solace ?

Post by **Betty Boop** » Sun Mar 18, 2018 4:47 pm

Wow what a wonderful and passionate send off.

Condolences to you all it sounds like he was a big part of your lives. :-4

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 2:12 pm

Thank you all for the condolences.

I will now show you some of the images, starting with the Zimbabwean traditional wedding.

Here is the Cresta Hotel where most of us stayed in Harare.

Here are the bridesmaids posing in the grounds

I shall be back, these sizes need to be worked on.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:08 pm

first link didn't work for me but I did get to look at sexy Asian women in my hometown ????:-3

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:28 pm

Betty Boop;1518582 wrote: first link didn't work for me but I did get to look at sexy Asian women in my hometown ????:-3

I'm struggling here, try the first one again....... the second one ?

Trust me they are all Africans.....in Africa.

I am getting the hang of this, just going to have a lie down in a darkened room now though.

Post by **Betty Boop** » Mon Apr 02, 2018 3:39 pm

Bruv;1518583 wrote: I'm struggling here, try the first one again....... the second one ?

Trust me they are all Africans.....in Africa.

I am getting the hang of this, just going to have a lie down in a darkened room now though.

All good now!! First one when I clicked it first time came up with 'error 404' but then showed me Asian Women in my area, they've gone now :wah:

That looks like a stunning hotel Bruv, just wow and in the second picture I love the Canary yellow dresses they are stunning.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Tue Apr 03, 2018 1:59 pm

Here I go trying to share some of the atmosphere of my visit to Zimbabwe and Nigeria.

I am struggling with images and videos on multiple sources in various sizes and how to put them on here easily.

Hopefully I can get the chronology right, so I shall start with Zimbabwe and the traditional wedding in Kadoma.

I shall try and give some background to what is happening and who is who and what is what.

Here is the Groom and his father arriving....

And this was the entertainment that greeted them.

And that's enough for tonight

Orion79 · Post by **Orion79** » Wed Apr 04, 2018 8:54 am

Thank you for sharing.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Apr 04, 2018 1:44 pm

Todays offering is the traditional wedding in Kadoma.

The Bride and Groom were married in the UK, but after several years thought it time to celebrate with a traditional Zimbabwean wedding, with the negotiation of Bride price or Labola. The following is at her half brother and sisters home, most were taken on smart phones.

Grandad greeting me.(click on thumbnail)

Around the back of the house,the dancers do their thing.

Now a video of the dancers in action, the lady in blue,making all the noise is my missus.

The big guy in the red hat is 'showering' apparently it's a Nigerian traditional way of thanking the performers.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Apr 04, 2018 2:29 pm

Just one more installment today, inside the house the negotiations continue.

The ladies sit on the floor waiting, the pretty girl is my adopted daugther.

The men sit on chairs,all waiting while intermediaries take messages to the room next door.

Father in law passing US dollars for another 'demand'

While the Nigerian team ponder.

Grandma or Gogo in Zimbabwe discusses her cut.

The share for the 2 elder sisters is handed over.

Gogo is happy with her share.

Now everybody are 'family' so the introductions begin.

First 'Sekuru' or Uncle introduces the Zimbabwean side of the family.

Next the Nigerians introduce their side of the family.

Now the bride is officially married and returns in Nigerian attire.

And finally..........me posing as the white guy for the dancers.

Orion79 · Post by **Orion79** » Thu Apr 05, 2018 8:20 am

Interesting traditional rituals.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Tue Jun 26, 2018 2:38 pm

Me greeting the father in law on his arrival.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Tue Jun 26, 2018 2:44 pm

The granddaughter scared of the dancers, she is a proper madam, but lovely with it.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Tue Jun 26, 2018 2:47 pm

Me posing with the dancers, think they were happier than me.

G#Gill · Post by **G#Gill** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 7:56 am

Lovely photos, Bruv, have you got more ?

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 1:53 pm

More photos and videos......Here is me Dad dancing

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:20 pm

That was Zimbabwe, now onward to Nigeria.

Here is dinner, seriously we ate these later on a barbecue.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:24 pm

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Wed Jun 27, 2018 2:26 pm

Our host's living room, bit too grandiose for me.

Clodhopper · Post by **Clodhopper** » Thu Jun 28, 2018 2:12 am

Thanks for sharing. It's good to be a part of things when you visit other cultures. I was reminded of some fun times in my own travels.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 5:53 am

Just a few more..........the venue for the Nigerian reception, Sapele athletic club, they tell me.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:00 am

The main man and his wife inside the marquee, with armed guards................chilling.

Me, my wife, her late son and his daughter, a daughter in law, and our 'escort' in Lagos.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:03 am

Our very own swimming pool in Sapele house.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:16 am

A side show at the Sapele reception. Plus a little aggro.......

And finally arriving back in Lagos from Sapele, the white car in front driving on hazard lights and tooting for all to clear the way, listen for the pickup behind us, with the armed escort siren blasting almost continually..................a day in the life driving in Lagos.

Bruv · Post by **Bruv** » Fri Jun 29, 2018 6:57 am

Listen to the phasers as we are told to leave the venue because the 'street people' are getting bolder, far too many for the security to control.

The final shot if I remember shows a handful of 100 dollar notes in the hand of the bridegrooms brother ushering us into the get away car.

And here is the reason why they got out of hand, the traditional practice of 'Spraying'..........basically throwing money at the bride and groom, helpers picking it up for them. These are not small notes, 10 and 100 US dollars, a fortune to many of the onlookers.