Bullies

minks · Post by **minks** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:45 am

hotsauce wrote: i must be thin skinned...just reading through all of this made me feel sad. kinda glad i missed out on this ugly stuff.

Awww Hot don't be sad, I think we need to keep in mind FG is a young forum, we are still finding our wings and such. We have a great bunch here, I think our admin does a good job but with help from mods they could maybe have better insight to some of the things that go on that would help de-fuse some angst's that develop along the way. As we grow we run the risk of more incidents like this if we let things get out of hand. We are a broad smattering of people here and all things considered, I think we do pretty well. Human nature is such that the dynamics of a gathering of folks is often varied and colorful and I guess we need to accept the fact that we can't all like everyone, but we can respect everyone who deserves the respect. And Thea you too have a good point there. We don't come here expecting to get our feelings hurt. And it is about choices, we get out of the garden what we put into it. And we have the ability to choose the threads we wish to post in and those we wish to avoid.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Wed Aug 31, 2005 8:48 am

hotsauce wrote: i must be thin skinned...just reading through all of this made me feel sad. kinda glad i missed out on this ugly stuff.
Hotsauce is back!!! Hey lady!!

I don't think you're thin-skinned, just sensitive. Nothing wrong with that at all.

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 8:25 am

most female bullies i have met, turned out to be lesbians.

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 9:52 am

All of the people who bullied me ended up gaining a lot of weight and having lots of babies in their early twenties. One became a crack head. Karma maybe? Or maybe just Elyria.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:30 pm

hotsauce wrote: most female bullies i have met, turned out to be lesbians.
What an odd and totally stereotypical statement!

I think a person's perception can change from one person to another about a bully. Some would consider me harsh on occassion, a bully of sorts, but I am honest and don't sugar coat things. Some people can handle it, some can't.

So while I am not a "soft touch" or a push-over, I don't think I'm a bully, but I'm sure there's many who do. No matter what, a bully can be perceived, a lesbian cannot. I may be a bully now and then, if that's how people see me, but I am sure as hell not a lesbian!

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:34 pm

BabyRider wrote: What an odd and totally stereotypical statement!

I think a person's perception can change from one person to another about a bully. Some would consider me harsh on occassion, a bully of sorts, but I am honest and don't sugar coat things. Some people can handle it, some can't.

So while I am not a "soft touch" or a push-over, I don't think I'm a bully, but I'm sure there's many who do. No matter what, a bully can be perceived, a lesbian cannot. I may be a bully now and then, if that's how people see me, but I am sure as hell not a lesbian!

it was an odd statement...wasn't it! i was feeling it this morning i guess....and the statement made me giggle. cause bullies suck...and every girl bully i have known was very butch (not saying ALL LESBIANS are butch...and i'm all for gay rights so don't even start with me on that!

)

I sure as hell wasn't saying you were!

just ummm...going with past experience i guess.

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:35 pm

BabyRider wrote: What an odd and totally stereotypical statement!

I think a person's perception can change from one person to another about a bully. Some would consider me harsh on occassion, a bully of sorts, but I am honest and don't sugar coat things. Some people can handle it, some can't.

So while I am not a "soft touch" or a push-over, I don't think I'm a bully, but I'm sure there's many who do. No matter what, a bully can be perceived, a lesbian cannot. I may be a bully now and then, if that's how people see me, but I am sure as hell not a lesbian!

Im not sure I understand people who say "I dont sugar coat things". Werent you ever taught that if you didnt have anything nice to say dont say anything at all? If you know someone "can't handle" what you have to say, wouldnt you just not say it? And one more thing, there isnt anything wrong with being a lesbian.

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:36 pm

I LOVE LESBIANS!

i guess what i should have said...every woman bully is a butch bit**...maybe?

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:50 pm

BabyRider wrote: Some would consider me harsh on occassion, a bully of sorts, but I am honest and don't sugar coat things. Some people can handle it, some can't.

So while I am not a "soft touch" or a push-over, I don't think I'm a bully, but I'm sure there's many who do. No matter what, a bully can be perceived, a lesbian cannot. I may be a bully now and then, if that's how people see me, but I am sure as hell not a lesbian!

There is a difference between being blunt and being a bully. Observe:

Blunt: Your statements about democrats/republicans are wrong, and you need to do some fact checking before you call me a bleeding heart dirty hippie/cold irrational money grubbing-golf pants wearing jerk.

Bully:I'm going to let all the air out of your tires for calling me a (insert stereotype here)! I shall persecute you in every other thread/statement you make now, and I will internet stalk you until you burst into flames from my spite, you (expletive expletive expletive expletive)

So no, BadyRider, you are not a bully. You're too rational and have too much common sense to be one.

abbey · Post by **abbey** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:55 pm

hotsauce wrote:

it was an odd statement...wasn't it! i was feeling it this morning i guess....and the statement made me giggle. cause bullies suck...and every girl bully i have known was very butch (not saying ALL LESBIANS are butch...and i'm all for gay rights so don't even start with me on that!
.

.

.

hotsauce wrote: I LOVE LESBIANS!

i guess what i should have said...every woman bully is a butch bit**...maybe?:wah: I'd quit while you're ahead hon!

capt_buzzard · Post by **capt_buzzard** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 12:59 pm

Some Cops love to Bully:driving:

lady cop · Post by **lady cop** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:07 pm

capt_buzzard wrote: Some Cops love to Bully:driving: most don't

DesignerGal · Post by **DesignerGal** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:12 pm

lady cop wrote: most don't

Nice one, LC. Im liking you more and more everyday!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:35 pm

DesignerGal wrote: Im not sure I understand people who say "I dont sugar coat things". Werent you ever taught that if you didnt have anything nice to say dont say anything at all? If you know someone "can't handle" what you have to say, wouldnt you just not say it? And one more thing, there isnt anything wrong with being a lesbian.
I actually was taught that if I don't have anything nice to say then say nothing. When I got past the age of 6, I decided that was a chicken-sh!t way to deal with things. No one can make everyone happy all the time. If, in the interest of debate, discussion, and learning, I have something to say, to contribute, it's highly unlikely that EVERYONE who's participating will agree or even like what I have to say. Should I keep quiet just because I *might* rub someone the wrong way? Mmmm....I'm thinkin' NO.

Not to mention the fact that I have no way of knowing if someone will or will not be able to handle what I have to say. It's another learning process. Am I intentionally mean? Sure, sometimes. When people act like idiots, or are mean first, I don't just suck it up to "be nice."

Lastly, I never said there was anything wrong with being a lesbian. It's not for me, but hey....

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:37 pm

actionfigurestepho wrote: There is a difference between being blunt and being a bully. Observe:

Blunt: Your statements about democrats/republicans are wrong, and you need to do some fact checking before you call me a bleeding heart dirty hippie/cold irrational money grubbing-golf pants wearing jerk.

Bully:I'm going to let all the air out of your tires for calling me a (insert stereotype here)! I shall persecute you in every other thread/statement you make now, and I will internet stalk you until you burst into flames from my spite, you (expletive expletive expletive expletive)

So no, BadyRider, you are not a bully. You're too rational and have too much common sense to be one.
Ah! My point!

And thanks, Steph!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:39 pm

DesignerGal wrote: Im not sure I understand people who say "I dont sugar coat things". Werent you ever taught that if you didnt have anything nice to say dont say anything at all? If you know someone "can't handle" what you have to say, wouldnt you just not say it? And one more thing, there isnt anything wrong with being a lesbian.

So what is right, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all, and stick by that.

Or If you can't take the heat get out of the frying pan, meaning if you are thin skinned stay away.

Which personality is perceived as acceptable these days.

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 1:58 pm

good question minks! maybe if you are a thin skinned person you should just try to find a cool kitchen?

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:11 pm

Here's another side of the coin: If people who tell it like it is, don't sugar-coat things, are blunt, or less than "tactful" are "bullies", why aren't the people who get offended by straightforwardness and honesty called "whimps"?

I am NOT calling anyone a whimp, I am merely making an observation!!!!

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:24 pm

canaan wrote:

Next time...trying thanking them for their concern..wink/kiss/buh bye.
:yh_clap :yh_clap :yh_clap

Post by **Betty Boop** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:27 pm

canaan wrote: My kitchen is almost always cold. I don't cook often..

and people who are hateful make me giggle. They get sooo wound up and turn red and spit...and they are letting it rip...giving it all they have...

meanwhile in my head I'm singing the last song I heard on the radio...wondering if they will be done soon because my fav. show is coming on...or it's nap time.

People can only bully you if you allow them to. Bullies love love love it when you get all upset and start spouting back off to them.

Next time...trying thanking them for their concern..wink/kiss/buh bye.

hahahaha so true, my ex neighbours used to be bullies, I realised one day we were never going to win anything with them so everytime I caught her staring at me I blew her a kiss, she just got madder and madder, meanwhile I was LMAO!!

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:28 pm

hotsauce wrote: good question minks! maybe if you are a thin skinned person you should just try to find a cool kitchen?

Or maybe it is a matter of reading the situation, and then condisering whom you are dealing with. I don't believe folks who are "matter of fact" are bullies. And I don't believe tenderhearts are wimps. I think it is a matter of Tact. Read the person and try and judge how to handle them with respect. Perhaps coining a new term... "matter of Tact"

hotsauce · Post by **hotsauce** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:29 pm

canaan wrote: My kitchen is almost always cold. I don't cook often..

and people who are hateful make me giggle. They get sooo wound up and turn red and spit...and they are letting it rip...giving it all they have...

meanwhile in my head I'm singing the last song I heard on the radio...wondering if they will be done soon because my fav. show is coming on...or it's nap time.

People can only bully you if you allow them to. Bullies love love love it when you get all upset and start spouting back off to them.

Next time...trying thanking them for their concern..wink/kiss/buh bye.

i've seen you once or twice...where you weren't blowing kisses! :sneaky:

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:30 pm

canaan wrote: My kitchen is almost always cold. I don't cook often..

and people who are hateful make me giggle. They get sooo wound up and turn red and spit...and they are letting it rip...giving it all they have...

meanwhile in my head I'm singing the last song I heard on the radio...wondering if they will be done soon because my fav. show is coming on...or it's nap time.

People can only bully you if you allow them to. Bullies love love love it when you get all upset and start spouting back off to them.

Next time...trying thanking them for their concern..wink/kiss/buh bye.

Hey Canaan nice to see you, welcome back.

But also Bullies hate to be ignored.... silence kills them and they try harder.

Bullies want reaction and thrive on reaction. Negative attention is still attention.

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:33 pm

minks wrote:

But also Bullies hate to be ignored.... silence kills them and they try harder.

Bullies want reaction and thrive on reaction. Negative attention is still attention.
THAT'S the difference between a bully and someone just telling it like it is. It's the same as the difference between a troll and someone who just has their own views.

(I'm remembering "Saintsman"....anyone else?)

BabyRider · Post by **BabyRider** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 2:57 pm

JAB wrote: Trolls are a different breed all their own. I'd be curious to know if they are also bullies in the flesh. Or do they only do it via the written word from their keyboard?
I'd be willing to bet that bullies online are big babies in real life. It's easy to be a hard-ass over the computer, not so much face-to-face.

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 3:08 pm

There is a big difference between telling it like it is and being a mean, spiteful bully. I think minks hit the nail on the head when she said negative attention is better than no attention. You can be blunt and honest without being downright ignorantly mean.

minks · Post by **minks** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 3:20 pm

Peg wrote: There is a big difference between telling it like it is and being a mean, spiteful bully. I think minks hit the nail on the head when she said negative attention is better than no attention. You can be blunt and honest without being downright ignorantly mean.

Like being honest, well no the blue dress makes you look like auntie zelda

Like being mean, crikey that blue elephant of a dress sure shows of the auntie zelda in you, you know her ugly trait of biting her nails....gawd how I see you ending up just like her

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha like that is that what you mean?

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 3:39 pm

hotsauce wrote: most female bullies i have met, turned out to be lesbians.
Not that there's anything wrong with that! :void(0)">

Oh, hush! Don't even start. You know it was funny! :p

My personal favorite: "Some of my best friends are {pick one: gay, black, flatulent, whatever}"

We now return you to the serious discussion already in progress.

Jives · Post by **Jives** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 5:49 pm

BabyRider wrote: I think a person's perception can change from one person to another about a bully. Some would consider me harsh on occassion, a bully of sorts, but I am honest and don't sugar coat things. Some people can handle it, some can't.

So while I am not a "soft touch" or a push-over, I don't think I'm a bully, but I'm sure there's many who do.

LOL...isn't that funny? You and I are right on the same page as usual. That's exactly what I was thinking about myself!:o

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Thu Sep 01, 2005 7:15 pm

canaan wrote:

#2 - Be polite about it. In the south we have an unspoken law, you may call me any name in the book as long as you end it with "bless your heart". Example: That poor girl is dumber than a box of rocks ... bless her heart. Just makes the world a nicer place. Don't ya think?

This is amazing! This opens all kinds of doors for me!

I am seriously going to start using "bless your heart" after all of my bitter insults. :yh_rotfl

minks · Post by **minks** » Fri Sep 02, 2005 11:53 am

actionfigurestepho wrote: This is amazing! This opens all kinds of doors for me!

I am seriously going to start using "bless your heart" after all of my bitter insults. :yh_rotfl

"that no good SOB bless his heart isn't paying child support" hey it works it works ahahahahaha

actionfigurestepho · Post by **actionfigurestepho** » Fri Sep 02, 2005 8:46 pm

minks wrote: "that no good SOB bless his heart isn't paying child support" hey it works it works ahahahahaha

I should edit all my old posts..."my psycho ex...bless his heart..."

Peg · Post by **Peg** » Fri Sep 30, 2005 7:30 am

http://www.bullyonline.org/schoolbully/cases.htm#USA

A very interesting site about "bullycides".