health

Bez · Post by **Bez** » Wed Sep 28, 2005 11:42 am

pink princess wrote: im starting to work this out a little.....

(i do a lot of self-analysing, not the most healthy thing in the world to do i know!)

i figure my lack of self belief and confidence comes from when i was a kid, my parents left me very much to my own, my mum was ill for most my childhood and still is and my dad was always busy rushing round after her, my brothers were always better than me and i always felt that they were more special than me

so i used to makie extra efforts to do things but they always went unseen, my brothers who did nothing the sun still shone and its exactly the same now

my parents have never lent me any money and have told me they arent paying any of my wedding, but they put both my brothers through uni and one whos just got a house whos wasted his money away (which mum and dad know) they gave Ã‚£1000 to.... when i said so wheres mine for my wedding mum said to me that they were contributing to his future and hed gone to uni so they wanted him to have as mumch opportunity as possible...... because i didnt go to uni i am nothing in my parents eyes, i have wasted my life and am a dissapointment....

i have issues!!

not gonna let them get me though, ill get through them and in 5 years time im sure ill have new issues and learnt many things from the old ones to help me on my way (even if i didnt go to uni!)

(btw - my neck REALLY hurts!)

I recognise ALL of this.....My Brother and sister were born before the war....1937 and 1939...dad went off to Europe to fight the Germans...In 1945 my mum had a baby by a Canadian soldier,,,,Dad comes home ...all hell lets loose. ....baby ends up in a home....I'm born in 1946....my sister tells me later in life that I was born to save a rocky marriage ....thanks Sis...that really helped my self esteem. Dad stays angry...Mum gets bitter...I was very lonely as Bruv and Sis are so much older. Meet Hubby at 16...married at 19...can't wait to leave unhappy home ! Loved my Mum and Dad to bits but never seemed to gets Mums approval. They hated my hubby. (they were right). Result...low self esteem....so much so that I have ben unhappy for half of my married life, but haven't had the bottle to leave. All this has been hidden from family. Now...my daughter is 37 and has been practising Buddhism fo 9 yrs. She has had a hell of a life but says buddhism got her through. I have been going for 5 months and truthfully i can say that my life has changed because I now respect myself and realise that none of the things that have happened are MY fault.It is important to remember that. The bad things that have happened are NOT YOUR FAULT. You are a good person...grab hold of that and stay strong. I'm afraid that it is a fact of life that the Guys get the help and us Gals have to fight. ( sorry to the guys that have had to fight...this is only my own perception). YOU ARE special to your loved one...hang on to that.

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:08 am

actionfigurestepho wrote: Maybe it's because you're simply too marvelous to be included in the petty drama and jealousy that comes with the so-called "number one" slot.

i like that!!

:wah:

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 1:10 am

thanks everyone for your posts

im better today, just having a rocky moment i think, we all have them though right?

9 times out of 10 im a pretty well balanced happy kinda person just seem to have had a LOT go wrong recently and it can wear you down eventually, but thats the game - beating it. and I hate to lose!

Accountable · Post by **Accountable** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 3:52 am

You can't lose! You have friends!! :-6

chrisb84uk · Post by **chrisb84uk** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:23 am

Well I'm pleased to hear that everything turned out well in the end. Oh and AC is right we are all friends here!! :-6

pink princess · Post by **pink princess** » Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:23 am

:yh_blush :-4