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OK if anyone is blond i mean no offense to anyone.... its just a harmless blond joke



A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

:wah: :wah: :wah: :wah:

Hey was that me I'm blonde and I painted my porch yesterday.

orangesox1 wrote: Hey was that me I'm blonde and I painted my porch yesterday.


omg that wasnt meant to be to offend you in anyway.... i apologise

Bella_Boo wrote: omg that wasnt meant to be to offend you in anyway.... i apologise


It didn't offend me, I'm far to thick skinned for that.



I really did paint my porch yesterday, eventually I'll paint the whole outside of the house, it's just taking me so long and it's getting hotter and hotter:-6

orangesox1 wrote: It didn't offend me, I'm far to thick skinned for that.



I really did paint my porch yesterday, eventually I'll paint the whole outside of the house, it's just taking me so long and it's getting hotter and hotter:-6


it has been hot... very very humid on the gold coast atm... im over it

thank god for air conditioning

The great thing about blonde jokes is that anyone that should be offended ... won't get the joke.

Bella_Boo wrote: it has been hot... very very humid on the gold coast atm... im over it

thank god for air conditioning


Same down here in Central West NSW. We have had so much flooding too and a lot of crops are ruined, they were the first good crops after the drought.

Accountable wrote: The great thing about blonde jokes is that anyone that should be offended ... won't get the joke.


ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ahahahahahahahahah

Accountable wrote: The great thing about blonde jokes is that anyone that should be offended ... won't get the joke.


Duuuhhh, maybe thats why I don't get offended:-3

orangesox1 wrote: Same down here in Central West NSW. We have had so much flooding too and a lot of crops are ruined, they were the first good crops after the drought.


the weather has been so unpredictable... its been so weird this year... all extremes at once.... its crazy!!

Bella_Boo wrote: the weather has been so unpredictable... its been so weird this year... all extremes at once.... its crazy!!


I know, I'm with the SES and we have never been as busy before with storm damage as we have this year.

orangesox1 wrote: I know, I'm with the SES and we have never been as busy before with storm damage as we have this year.


OMG

same ha ha ha

SnoozeControl wrote: I'm sure its been mentioned in here somewhere, but one of my co-workers is convinced bin Ladin has the technology to create earthquakes, tidal waves, hurricanes, tornadoes, etc, ad nauseam... that's why all the "natural" catastrophes lately.:rolleyes:


meh all bin laden can do is control his own bladder... barely... he should be s**t scared....

Bella_Boo wrote: OMG

same ha ha ha


WOW thats great an SES net friend, how good is that:) Are you fairly busy with training and call outs, we train every other Saturday afternoon and every other Monday evening. Most of our call outs are Road crash. What are yours?

So what your saying here is that she painted his car right ? The car was a Porche ? She thought he was asking her to paint his Porche and she thought his Ferrari was a Porche ? Is that it ? If a man bought a Ferrari I think hed know it was a Ferrari and not a Porche. So obviously she wasnt thinking things through clearly. And by the way, who paints a car with a brush ? Its just not done. Who is this girl ? Where did this all take place ? Did he sue her ?

orangesox1 wrote: WOW thats great an SES net friend, how good is that:) Are you fairly busy with training and call outs, we train every other Saturday afternoon and every other Monday evening. Most of our call outs are Road crash. What are yours?


i live in the hinterland so we do alot of vertical rescue.... alot of trees crashing through homes (the most famous one being noni hazelhurts - it was my group on her roof!!!) we have cars go over edges and flash flooding...

we usually train tue nites but lately ive lapsed coz i was in car accident myself and not up to scratch physically. i was treasurer of ours.... dads in it too, he loves vertical rescue too but i tell u what ropes are hard to remember... to many knots ha ha ha ha

i hear the rain come down hard but i really CBF tonite,,, if i would assist its only in comms now but being sick i am just a waste of space there....

Nomad wrote: So what your saying here is that she painted his car right ? The car was a Porche ? She thought he was asking her to paint his Porche and she thought his Ferrari was a Porche ? Is that it ? If a man bought a Ferrari I think hed know it was a Ferrari and not a Porche. So obviously she wasnt thinking things through clearly. And by the way, who paints a car with a brush ? Its just not done. Who is this girl ? Where did this all take place ? Did he sue her ?
Wow. That's very good, Nomad. Very impressive!



You should be a private detective, like Ellen Degenerous.

Bella_Boo wrote: i live in the hinterland so we do alot of vertical rescue.... alot of trees crashing through homes (the most famous one being noni hazelhurts - it was my group on her roof!!!) we have cars go over edges and flash flooding...



we usually train tue nites but lately ive lapsed coz i was in car accident myself and not up to scratch physically. i was treasurer of ours.... dads in it too, he loves vertical rescue too but i tell u what ropes are hard to remember... to many knots ha ha ha ha



i hear the rain come down hard but i really CBF tonite,,, if i would assist its only in comms now but being sick i am just a waste of space there....


We don't do any vertical rescue, I really wish we did, I like comms though, I think it reminds me of being a kid and having those little toy radios, I loved them. I really like flood rescue too, I always get thrown overboard when were training as they think I make a good rescue victim, the guys also like the wet T shirt look too I think.:-3

Accountable wrote: Wow. That's very good, Nomad. Very impressive!



You should be a private detective, like Ellen Degenerous.


I have moments of lucidity. :-3

orangesox1 wrote: We don't do any vertical rescue, I really wish we did, I like comms though, I think it reminds me of being a kid and having those little toy radios, I loved them. I really like flood rescue too, I always get thrown overboard when were training as they think I make a good rescue victim, the guys also like the wet T shirt look too I think.:-3


i know what u mean about the wet tshirt.... so many men are in our group and im not exactly pancake girlly ha ha ah

i havent been to ses in a while.. they know ive gone awol for a while... i just wanna get better....

a friend of ours just received a medal for 25 years of service with SES i think its amazing...

Yea Bella thats all fine and dandy but what ever happened with the Porche ?

Nomad wrote: Yea Bella thats all fine and dandy but what ever happened with the Porche ?


nomad honey.... i drove into the sunset with it :-6

Bella_Boo wrote: i know what u mean about the wet tshirt.... so many men are in our group and im not exactly pancake girlly ha ha ah



i havent been to ses in a while.. they know ive gone awol for a while... i just wanna get better....



a friend of ours just received a medal for 25 years of service with SES i think its amazing...


Have you got any member going down to Sydney for the 50th anniversery? 5 members went from our unit.

orangesox1 wrote: Have you got any member going down to Sydney for the 50th anniversery? 5 members went from our unit.


i dunno i havent been in ages....

Blonde 1 (shouting from the edge of a riverbank) "How do I get to the other side?"

Blonde 2 (shouting back from across the river) "You ARE on the other side!"



Blonde 1: (on a porch in Oklahoma)"Which do you think is further away, the Moon or Florida?"

Blonde 2: "Well DUH! Can you see Florida from here?"



Blonde 1: "Why isn't your boyfriend here yet?"

Blonde 2: "I don't know. I specifically told him to pick me up at the corner of walk and don't walk!"

Two blonde guys are working. One digs a hole, one fills it up. A man watching comes over and asks what they are doing.

Blonde man: "Well, we're usually a three man crew, but the tree planter didn't show up today.":wah:

And for everyone's information, I am a blonde man with three college degrees, two in electrical engineering, one in education. I have a 157 I.Q. and I'm a ffighter pilot in the USAF Reserves.

So you all had better watch yourselves.

Jives wrote: And for everyone's information, I am a blonde man with three college degrees, two in electrical engineering, one in education. I have a 157 I.Q. and I'm a ffighter pilot in the USAF Reserves.



So you all had better watch yourselves.
:yh_tong2

Accountable wrote: :yh_tong2



I thought you were a red head:-2

orangesox1 wrote: I thought you were a red head:-2
and had a Psyc degree with a masters in HR, somethings amiss here

Right on both counts. I just think it's cute that Jives felt the need to point his out in this thread. :yh_bigsmi

Accountable wrote: Right on both counts. I just think it's cute that Jives felt the need to point his out in this thread. :yh_bigsmi


Ok I see what I miss read, it's friday night and I'v been out already it must be my bed time because i'm not reading thigs right here:D

Two blondes are hunting when they see a hanglider. One blonde says, "That's the biggest bird I ever saw!" The other blonde shoots it!

Then the first blonde asks, "Did you get it?" And the second blonde replies, "No, but I think I winged it. Did you see how fast it dropped the guy?":D

A guy is trying to prove how smart he is to a blonde. he says, "You ask me a question, if I can't answer it, I'll give you $500, then I'll ask you a question, if you can't answer it, you give me $5" So the blonde says, "What is the meaning of the Universe?"

The man reluctantly gives her $500. Then he asks her, what was the answer to that question?"

She gives him $5.