Why did the chicken cross the road?
Posted: Mon Jan 09, 2006 1:46 pm
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A. Police Department:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed it, I've not been told!
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Scully:
It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.
Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Darwin #2:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather, "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
OJ Simpson:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
:D
Bill Gates:
I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
L.A. Police Department:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.
Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Saddam Hussein #2:
It is the Mother of all Chickens.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed it, I've not been told!
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Mulder:
It was a government conspiracy.
Scully:
It was a simple bio-mechanical reflex that is commonly found in chickens.
Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
Darwin #2:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Oliver Stone:
The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather, "Who was crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
OJ Simpson:
It didn't. I was playing golf with it at the time.
:D
