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Here are some classic quotes - I'm sure there must be many more

Thoughts on Sex



I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome

things that money can buy." --Tom Clancy

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither." --

Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,

you'd better have a good hand." --Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on

Saturdaynight." --Rodney Dangerfield



"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual

arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

--Lynn Lavner



"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the

taxidermist." --Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."--Camille

Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are

unimportant." --George Burns

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's

reading." --Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)



I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said,

"Thyroid problem?"-- Arnold Schwarzenegger



"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." --Jack

Nicholson



"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,

but

he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." -- Barbara Bush



"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's

genitals through his wallet."-- Robin Williams



"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the

only time of the month that I can be myself."-- Roseanne



"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." -- Billy

Crystal



"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable

undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other

women.

They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just

grateful." --Robert De Niro



"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are

having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe

swelling. So what's the problem?"-- Dustin Hoffman



"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I

know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."-- Jerry Seinfeld



"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't

like and just give her a house."-- Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only

enough blood to run one at a time." -- Robin Williams

:yh_rotfl :yh_rotfl Good stuff...!!

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - - Author unknown

Fragrance lingers on the hand that gives you roses. - Ancient chinese proverb

2B or not 2B?

I think it's a grade of pencil







Ability is what you're capable of doing...

Motivation determines what you do...

Attitude determines how well you do it.







A careless word may kindle strife.

A cruel word may wreck a life.

A timely word may level stress.

A loving word may heal and bless



:yh_star

A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco, wrapped in paper, fire at one end, fool at the other





A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

One of my mates at work once said

"Oysters are like bogies (boogers) without the taste":yh_sick

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted" Albert Einstein

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use." - Galilleo Gallilei

"Only two things are infinite, the Universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former." Albert Einstein

"I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it." - Grouco Marx

"People who never get carried away...should be!" -Malcolm Forbes

"Life is pleasant, death is peaceful, it's the transition between the two that is troublesome." Isaac Asimov

Any man who is under 30 and is not a liberal has no heart. Any man who is over 30 and is not a conservative has no brains." -Sir Winston Churchill

"When you have to kill a man, it costs you nothing to be polite about it." - Sir Winston Churchill

Beagle wrote: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - - Author unknown


I like that.

along-for-the-ride wrote: I like that.


Thank you! Thats one of my favorites.

"For here we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead."

President Thomas Jefferson

I'd rather have 30 minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special - From the movie "Steel Magnolias"

"Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely." Lord Acton (brainyquote.com)

RALPH WALDO EMERSON..

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. -Dorothy Parker



A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

- W.C. Fields





I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

- Frank Sinatra









;)

Not sure who said this but I like it..

I have done so much with so little for so long that I can now do practically anything with nothing.

I like Carl Duct tape rules..

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together..."

- Carl Zwanzig


Rita must be related to me.. :-3

"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."

- Rita Mae Brown

Dedicated to Hillary Clinton and Harry Belafonte:

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln

"As long as you know how to operate the can opener, you'll have a special place in my heart" ~ Garfield

Gravestone Quote:

Here lies,

All cold and hard,

The last damn dog,

That pooped in my yard!



Funny Bumper Sticker Quotes:

Caution: I drive like you do!

Strangers have the best candy

Save the Earth, it's the only planet with Chocolate

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone

I'm a cruel and heartless bitch but I’m damn good at it

I brake for scholars, priests, and no apparent reason

Stupidity is not a crime so you’re free to go

My Fav:



I didn't ask to be a princess but if the crown fits...

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! ~Charlie Croker, The Italian Job

He's not the messiah - he's a very naughty boy ~ Brian's mother, Monty Python's Life Of Brian

We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here, and we want them now Withnail, Withnail & I

There is a certain 'je ne sais quoi' about a firm, young carrot... ~ Monty, Withnail & I

These are just from films, there are so many fantastic quote but I do love these also loads from Blackadder and the young ones.

More sensible ones are

I'm not fat, I just haven't grown into my body yet you skinny bitch.

~ Cartman

Duirt me leat go raibh me breoite


On Spike Milligans grave

It's in Gaelic and says " I told you I was ill."

Hee Hee!!

Another one for a gravestone is:

I've been buried upside down so the whole world can kiss my a$$!! :wah:

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everwhere.

Martin Luther King JR

Also read some great sig links today.

One was some people are like slinkies(sp). They don't do much but it is fun to push them down stairs.

An old sig line. A mighty oak is a nut that held it's ground.

Lotto

http://www.moneymakerslounge.com/forum/ ... .php?t=172

MagicZ4941

"the only thing we have to fear is fear itself..." Franklin D. Roosevelt, First Inaugural Address

There are great ! I love reading quotes.