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I've not been on FG for a long time. My marriage broke up in November, it wasn't unexpected and as much as I knew it would happen, it has still shocked the both of us. It was me who instigated it as I knew we couldn't carry on living as we had been doing. There wasn't a third party involved.

We didn't have any children together, my hubby has two from a previous marriage who lived with us and they've taken it quite hard. I've moved back in with my parents as I decided I didn't want us to sell the house because I didn't feel the need to uproot the kids. We've tried to keep the spilt as amicable as possible and upto now we're succeedng. My father-in-law passed away last week so we've had that to deal with aswell. I thought I was doing ok until the day of the funeral until I saw my hubby and the kids obviously very upset and I was overwhelmed by guilt. All that I kept thinking was I'd broke our family up and now at a time when they need me the most I am there for them but not in the way I was, as a mother and wife. And that thought just rips me apart. But on the other hand I know I've (we've) done the right thing by parting, it's just I'm having a tough time at the moment.

I thought the guilt and crying comes at the time of the break up not 3 months after.

Fortunately, the in-laws are a great family and I still see them regular, but I'm thinking there maybe a time when I meet somebody else, the contact might die down.

I know the subject of us divorcing will rear its head in the future and I'm guessing I'll have to be the one to do it. Maybe when I've got my head straight I'll be able to sort that out.

I know a few people on FG have gone through this kind of thing before and it helps reading how they have coped with it.

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs

Sorry you're so sad Smithy, hugs to you xxx.

I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but when I left my ex it was a year and a half before the guilt started to go away, even after I was with my bf and my ex had a girlfriend I sometimes still found myself crying at night. It wasn't just because I left him it was my two daughters, though they had left home and had their own lives I felt I had left them too.

I will say it was worth going through, my life is so much better now.

Hopefully it won't last as long with you and you start to make a life for yourself. Good luck.

Im sorry your having such a rotten time Smithy, i hope things all work out for the best

smithy87 wrote: I've not been on FG for a long time. My marriage broke up in November, it wasn't unexpected and as much as I knew it would happen, it has still shocked the both of us. It was me who instigated it as I knew we couldn't carry on living as we had been doing. There wasn't a third party involved.

We didn't have any children together, my hubby has two from a previous marriage who lived with us and they've taken it quite hard. I've moved back in with my parents as I decided I didn't want us to sell the house because I didn't feel the need to uproot the kids. We've tried to keep the spilt as amicable as possible and upto now we're succeedng. My father-in-law passed away last week so we've had that to deal with aswell. I thought I was doing ok until the day of the funeral until I saw my hubby and the kids obviously very upset and I was overwhelmed by guilt. All that I kept thinking was I'd broke our family up and now at a time when they need me the most I am there for them but not in the way I was, as a mother and wife. And that thought just rips me apart. But on the other hand I know I've (we've) done the right thing by parting, it's just I'm having a tough time at the moment.

I thought the guilt and crying comes at the time of the break up not 3 months after.

Fortunately, the in-laws are a great family and I still see them regular, but I'm thinking there maybe a time when I meet somebody else, the contact might die down.

I know the subject of us divorcing will rear its head in the future and I'm guessing I'll have to be the one to do it. Maybe when I've got my head straight I'll be able to sort that out.

I know a few people on FG have gone through this kind of thing before and it helps reading how they have coped with it.


First off keep in mind, it takes time to heal, and yes you are healing. Second, please try to not let the guilt get the better of you, thirdly do feel free to move forward. You know the relationship has to be over it was mutual and you can carry on. And in the same breath, I have to say let your feelings come out and if you have to cry so be it, it is part of healing. No "what if's" Move forward.