Page 1 of 7
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:36 am
by Uncle Kram
I may be an Agony Uncle to those in the upper echelons of Tamworths elite, but if you're looking for good advice, I'm not your man.
Please refer to the unimpeachable wisdom offered by Far, BR, LC, Nomad, Galbally, Accountable, or for homework issues, Chonsi.
If you have no problems and nothing to ask, you've come to the right place. Any questions, please hesitate to contact me
Glad to have not been of assistance.

Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:40 am
by AussiePam
Rotfl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:41 am
by lady cop
why is it raining here for the first time in 9 weeks? and why can't i sleep? :p
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:44 am
by chrisb84uk
Uncle Kram wrote: I may be an Agony Uncle to those in the upper echelons of Tamworths elite, but if you're looking for good advice, I'm not your man.
Please refer to the unimpeachable wisdom offered by Far, BR, LC, Nomad, Galbally, Accountable, or for homework issues, Chonsi.
If you have no problems and nothing to ask, you've come to the right place. Any questions, please hesitate to contact me
Glad to have not been of assistance.
That has to be the kindest offer I have ever seen. :wah:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:44 am
by Uncle Kram
lady cop wrote: why is it raining here for the first time in 9 weeks? and why can't i sleep? :p
Physician heal thyself .......and stop singing
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 5:58 am
by jennyswan
What is your biggest love and would you sell your soul for £3,000,000?
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 6:32 am
by Uncle Kram
jennyswan wrote: What is your biggest love and would you sell your soul for £3,000,000?
The closest confidantes in my Inner Circle are my biggest love, and I'd sell my soul for a lot less than that.
Having said that, 3 mill would be great. Imagine how many Green Shield stamps you'd get
How did you arrive at this arbitary figure?
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 6:59 am
by sunny104
Why do hot dog companies have to use so many ingredients???:yh_sick
Where the package says: Made with pork, beef, turkey, chicken and armadillo
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:13 am
by sunny104
SnoozeControl wrote: Uncle Kram, I've been having naughty dreams about an online acquaintance. Does this mean I'm mentally ill?
You said you wouldn't tell!!!!!!!:D
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 7:23 am
by sunny104
SnoozeControl wrote: I'm sorry, sunny... I'm obsessed with you.

OK, so we're out of the closet now!:-4

Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:02 am
by Nomad
.
.
.
.
.
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:26 am
by Bez
Uncle Kram wrote: The closest confidantes in my Inner Circle are my biggest love, and I'd sell my soul for a lot less than that.
Having said that, 3 mill would be great. Imagine how many Green Shield stamps you'd get
How did you arrive at this arbitary figure?
Can you still get Green Shield Stamps in Tamworth ? Where do you cash them in ??

Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 8:38 am
by jennyswan
The closest confidantes in my Inner Circle are my biggest love, and I'd sell my soul for a lot less than that.
Having said that, 3 mill would be great. Imagine how many Green Shield stamps you'd get
How did you arrive at this arbitary figure?
That was what I was offered myself :wah:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 9:14 am
by Sheryl
SnoozeControl wrote: Yesssssssssss *groping madly for some boob *
You really shouldn't get me started here... I'm shameless.
Wow I learn something new everyday.:-3
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 9:15 am
by Sheryl
Uncle Kram, how can I tell if a melon is of perfect ripeness?
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 9:27 am
by Sheryl
No I'm just simply inquiring on how to select the perfect melon at my local grocery. :p
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 9:46 am
by jennyswan
Oh my god Sheryl, another boob question!?!
Boobs as big as Melons would be too big!!!
Imagine carrying them around all day :wah:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:08 am
by Nomad
jennyswan wrote: Boobs as big as Melons would be too big!!!
Imagine carrying them around all day :wah:
A gentleman would offer to carry them for you.
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:08 am
by Rapunzel
And you couldn't go jogging...you'd get black eyes!
Shame you can't get zip on ones! Zip on a nice juicy pair towear under a sexy dress on a night out, and small ones for under your work suit, so they don't ruin the line of the material! :wah:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:13 am
by Nomad
Rapunzel wrote: And you couldn't go jogging...you'd get black eyes!
Shame you can't get zip on ones! Zip on a nice juicy pair towear under a sexy dress on a night out, and small ones for under your work suit, so they don't ruin the line of the material! :wah:
Zip on breasts ???
Ill need some time to think.
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:37 am
by Sheryl
ok rewording my question...
Uncle Kram I'm interested in picking up a couple of canteloupe at the grocery, how do I find the best ones?
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:47 am
by Nomad
Sheryl wrote: ok rewording my question...
Uncle Kram I'm interested in picking up a couple of canteloupe at the grocery, how do I find the best ones?
Cantaloupe...melons
Twin sons of different mothers.
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:52 am
by jennyswan
Cantaloupe...melons
Twin sons of different mothers.
Oranges are smaller, but sweeter :sneaky:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 10:59 am
by Nomad
Tangerines are sweeter yet. Looove tangerines !
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:06 am
by Sheryl

Is it gutter day?? I didn't get the memo if it is!!! :p
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:08 am
by Nomad
Sheryl wrote:

Is it gutter day?? I didn't get the memo if it is!!! :p
Sheryl.
This is too easy, Ill pass on this one.

Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:10 am
by Sheryl
Nomad wrote: Sheryl.
This is too easy, Ill pass on this one.
Ohh now your saying I'm easy. Sheesh louise!!!!
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:11 am
by jennyswan
Tangerines are sweeter yet. Looove tangerines !
We are demolishing poor Uncle Krams thread.
Uncle K, do you prefer Melons or Oranges :wah:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 11:18 am
by Accountable
Hi Unc.
When I was in England there was a great store called DIY. How do you pronounce it?!? :-2
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:22 pm
by Uncle Kram
sunny104 wrote: Why do hot dog companies have to use so many ingredients???:yh_sick
Where the package says: Made with pork, beef, turkey, chicken and armadillo
I'm afraid it's the only way to avoid actually putting a hot dog into a hot dog
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:23 pm
by jennyswan
Hey Uncle,
How old were you when you had your first kiss? :-4
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:27 pm
by Uncle Kram
SnoozeControl wrote: Uncle Kram, I've been having naughty dreams about an online acquaintance. Does this mean I'm mentally ill?
Of course not you nutter - When's it coming out on DVD? I like to keep abreast of the latest releases
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:28 pm
by Uncle Kram
Nomad wrote: .
.
.
.
.
My advice to you Nomad is:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:30 pm
by Uncle Kram
Bez wrote: Can you still get Green Shield Stamps in Tamworth ?
Only in Snoozies dream
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:34 pm
by Uncle Kram
Sheryl wrote: Uncle Kram, how can I tell if a melon is of perfect ripeness?
Well Sheryl, I could divulge information given to me by a work colleague about "A friend" of his, alternatively, I could redirect you to the Masturbation thread
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:37 pm
by Uncle Kram
SnoozeControl wrote: Zip on breasts... strap on willy... what's the difference?
You can't stir your tea with zip on breasts
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:41 pm
by Uncle Kram
jennyswan wrote: Oranges are smaller, but sweeter :sneaky:
So true Jenny. I have often wondered why we call an orange an orange, but we don't call a banana a yellow
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:44 pm
by Uncle Kram
jennyswan wrote: We are demolishing poor Uncle Krams thread.
Uncle K, do you prefer Melons or Oranges :wah:
I would have to go for oranges but occasionally I can be tempted by a pink grapefruit;)
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:46 pm
by jennyswan
So true Jenny. I have often wondered why we call an orange an orange, but we don't call a banana a yellow
Good Point there Uncle K.
"To be or not to be, --that is the question:--
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" :driving:
Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:47 pm
by Uncle Kram
Accountable wrote: Hi Unc.
When I was in England there was a great store called DIY. How do you pronounce it?!? :-2
I always pronounce it DIY, but my friend on the other hand pronounces it DIY. I hope this is of some assistance

Ask Uncle Kram almost nothing
Posted: Sat Feb 04, 2006 3:50 pm
by jennyswan
DIY
Please refer once again to the Masterbation Thread
