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Wow, sometimes I feel like it is just one thing after another. Just when I catch my breath, something else comes my way that freaks me out. Anybody ever feel this way? I sometimes wonder if I have not had a curse placed on me. One time, when I was like 24 I went to a palm reader and she told me that I have a curse on me. And she wanted $50 to take it off. Of course I did not give her $50. And left the place. :-5 :-3

Yea Ive been feeling like this lately. Not so much that big bad things are happening but more just a bunch of quirky little things. Bunch a freaks walking around this planet.

Saffron wrote: Wow, sometimes I feel like it is just one thing after another. Just when I catch my breath, something else comes my way that freaks me out. Anybody ever feel this way? I sometimes wonder if I have not had a curse placed on me. One time, when I was like 24 I went to a palm reader and she told me that I have a curse on me. And she wanted $50 to take it off. Of course I did not give her $50. And left the place. :-5 :-3
Take charge. Take the wheel and get control of your life. You're letting other lives buffet yours, allowing your life to ricochet out of control.



Stop. Refocus. The only action you can control are your own. Imagine your life as a walk through a forest. Those monster kids, their weak mom, "all that" that is around you - think of them as rocks and trees that block your way (in the kids case, maybe poison ivy :p ). You can choose to complain about the rock being in your way, or find a way around it.



It's your choice.

Accountable wrote: Take charge. Take the wheel and get control of your life. You're letting other lives buffet yours, allowing your life to ricochet out of control.



Stop. Refocus. The only action you can control are your own. Imagine your life as a walk through a forest. Those monster kids, their weak mom, "all that" that is around you - think of them as rocks and trees that block your way (in the kids case, maybe poison ivy :p ). You can choose to complain about the rock being in your way, or find a way around it.



It's your choice.


Thank you, I appreciate the reply.

I called the man who I had planned on moving in with in a quiet neighborhood and he said the room is still open in his home. He is still welcoming me there. So I told him I wanted to move there in April around early part of the month. Then when I got home the woman who I now live with said she did not want to accept any money from me and instead to use it for a new place. I told her I'd talked to the man again who said the other place is still open and that I am going there.

So I want to get into the job I found through my college job career center. And I am hoping I can get that this week. And I checked with my school to see when they are sending me my grant check and how much. It was more than I thought, enough to pay a whole months rent. And that is supposed to come at the end of this month.

So anyway, I was so upset after today's events that here I am having insmonia again. My father had given me some herbal muscle and sleep relaxants that I have been using to fall alseep for the last 3 nights. But it does not seem to be working tonight.

At least I have a place to go. But still, this place is now stressing me out again. I just wish I could get into the new place sooner.

Let me relieve you of some of your stresses. The curse is not on you.... Because it is on me. Now there.... you are able to be worry free and move on. Focus your energy on getting a room of your own. Somewhere, any where. A place where you can have some peace and solace.. Saffron... do you think you could waitress? It is a great thing to do when you are in school. If you get in the right place, you could make better monet than you would at any other part time job. It leaves your days free. And very often it also creates instant social life. Lots of interesting people to meet. A diversion to lifes stresses. and very often the opportunity to have a million laughs. Dig down deep inside you and try to find the strength to paint a life for yourself, colored the way you want it to look. It sound to me like the people you are surrounding yourself with.. are messing up your canvasses.

weeder wrote: Let me relieve you of some of your stresses. The curse is not on you.... Because it is on me. Now there.... you are able to be worry free and move on. Focus your energy on getting a room of your own. Somewhere, any where. A place where you can have some peace and solace.. Saffron... do you think you could waitress? It is a great thing to do when you are in school. If you get in the right place, you could make better monet than you would at any other part time job. It leaves your days free. And very often it also creates instant social life. Lots of interesting people to meet. A diversion to lifes stresses. and very often the opportunity to have a million laughs. Dig down deep inside you and try to find the strength to paint a life for yourself, colored the way you want it to look. It sound to me like the people you are surrounding yourself with.. are messing up your canvasses.
For sure!

I did find a place. now I just need another job. I have never been a waitress. But I can to many other things. So I am trying to stay positive.

Ah I almost had a nervous breakdown today! First the lady from the financial aid office called to tell me that i am not getting a grant now because I am only carrying 6 units. So then on the way to the interview I had been called to, the man called me and told me he already hired someone else. On the way to the interview at 11 a.m.. He'd called me yesterday and told me to be there at 11 a.m. And then he hired someone else.

So I started to freak out and pulled over in my car to the side of the road. And I called the temp agency I used to work with. I pleaded with them to please give me anything and that I'd take any work they have for me. So she had somethng for me and I told her I'd come right over. I had to wait about 1/2 hour while she was with some other people. So I start this temp job on Monday at 7 a.m. until 3 p.m. every day. It's full time. And I need full-time. It's only $9 per hour. But I needed something now.

I am waiting to see if my friend is going to let me stay with her. She said that I could go and live with her for a while till I get into my own place. So I told her to check with the landlord (who used to be my landlord too and isn't a very nice woman). I am literally praying to God that I can go and stay there to get out of the shelter.

Oh good lord Saffron, hang in there get that job under your belt, hang with that friend for a bit, and take it one thing at a time. That curse is evil.

Saffron wrote: Ah I almost had a nervous breakdown today! First the lady from the financial aid office called to tell me that i am not getting a grant now because I am only carrying 6 units. So then on the way to the interview I had been called to, the man called me and told me he already hired someone else. On the way to the interview at 11 a.m.. He'd called me yesterday and told me to be there at 11 a.m. And then he hired someone else.

So I started to freak out and pulled over in my car to the side of the road. And I called the temp agency I used to work with. I pleaded with them to please give me anything and that I'd take any work they have for me. So she had somethng for me and I told her I'd come right over. I had to wait about 1/2 hour while she was with some other people. So I start this temp job on Monday at 7 a.m. until 3 p.m. every day. It's full time. And I need full-time. It's only $9 per hour. But I needed something now.

I am waiting to see if my friend is going to let me stay with her. She said that I could go and live with her for a while till I get into my own place. So I told her to check with the landlord (who used to be my landlord too and isn't a very nice woman). I am literally praying to God that I can go and stay there to get out of the shelter.


Wow Saff, you may want to reconsider, & take part of your first "paycheck" when you get it & spend that "$50" to get that curse squashed! :wah:

Saffron wrote: Ah I almost had a nervous breakdown today! First the lady from the financial aid office called to tell me that i am not getting a grant now because I am only carrying 6 units. So then on the way to the interview I had been called to, the man called me and told me he already hired someone else. On the way to the interview at 11 a.m.. He'd called me yesterday and told me to be there at 11 a.m. And then he hired someone else.

So I started to freak out and pulled over in my car to the side of the road. And I called the temp agency I used to work with. I pleaded with them to please give me anything and that I'd take any work they have for me. So she had somethng for me and I told her I'd come right over. I had to wait about 1/2 hour while she was with some other people. So I start this temp job on Monday at 7 a.m. until 3 p.m. every day. It's full time. And I need full-time. It's only $9 per hour. But I needed something now.

I am waiting to see if my friend is going to let me stay with her. She said that I could go and live with her for a while till I get into my own place. So I told her to check with the landlord (who used to be my landlord too and isn't a very nice woman). I am literally praying to God that I can go and stay there to get out of the shelter.I hate to think of you living in a shelter. It really upsets me. You mention your dad now and then... couldnt he loan you money to get a tiny place of your own? It sounds like your doing the right thing... going to school. Or rather than live in a shelter. Could you go home? Live with your dad, or parents, and go to school from there?

weeder wrote: I hate to think of you living in a shelter. It really upsets me. You mention your dad now and then... couldnt he loan you money to get a tiny place of your own? It sounds like your doing the right thing... going to school. Or rather than live in a shelter. Could you go home? Live with your dad, or parents, and go to school from there?
My dad just sent me $50 in the mail. With a letter saying that was all he could send, as he is paying his quarterly taxes on the 15.

Yes the shelter is uncomfortable. But I have made 2 friends there. They may be moving with me to the new place. The man has another room coming open on the 24th. They have extended my stay until the end of the month (at the shelter), while I save up my paychecks to give to my new landlord. He is being very nice about holding the room. And my furniture and lots of my belongings are already there, with $200 cash to hold the room. I am very good at storing money away when I need to. I negotiate with the bills.

My 'family' has all but gone their own way. My mother has recently moved to Missouri to be with my brother and his kids and wife. This is also another piece of grief. My mother and I are (were) close. Now she will only communicate by email if she even does that. She is a bit cold and also a rich woman. But does not understand a lot of issues. She has never been without a place to live and food to eat. She was taken care of by my dad, even after the divorce. And I am very upset about this. She has an awful husband. I am sure that if she was not married to him that she would be a lot different. IT's terrible, but one day she will be very sorry.

My best friend who I have known since 7th grade has been asking me to get out of Calif and move to Montana where she is. So today I called her and told her I would be doing that as soon as I finish school. Calif. is way too expensive to live. There are a lot of people who have no place to live and live paycheck-to-paycheck.

I think that the agency that I work for named Spherion has offices in other STates. So anyway, my friend Judy said that her parents have little place on the side of their house with a bathroom and I guess it's like a little studio. She said she will tell them I want to live there in a couple of years. She said I should leave California now. But I am dedicated to finishing my AA. I only have 5 more courses to go.

Today I am more hopeful , since I finally got placed at a job. I am thankful for even the little bit that I do have. There are other people at the shelter who are way worse off than I am. And I am lucky actually to have the preserverence that I do have. There are people there that will never be normal or even be able to hold a job and have noooo skills whatsoever. I also called a friend who I met while working at UPS who has her own home. She said her house if full of people now, but she is going to ask around at UPS to see if there is anyone who will let me stay with them for a couple of weeks. The good thing is that my new temp job is very close to where I live now. So moving further away will not be all that good. Also, my other friend who offered to let me stay with her called and said that the landlord (who used to be my landlord too) said "no", I cannot stay there. We didn't part on good terms when I moved out in August. I guess that bridge has been burned. But it was very nice to know that I have a friend who would help me. That is a true friend.