ForumGarden

Ok So here it is.......I never come by and see my friends anymore --so there are millions of newbies here, so u won't know what I am complaining about-.....BUT- I do have to tell you my new view on cancer and my life....I am ranting -venting -crying, and even laughing as I write this..so be prepared! Sweep it under the carpet or read it...I just need to SCREAM!



How can one thing take over your life..control it--spill poison through your body...take your smile-turn it upside down...make you want to abandon ship and run into the dark scary forest...knowing when you get in there it has got to be better then the Radiology Dept.?

How about trying to find a way to shove a bomb up your oncologists ass and blow his 3rd year residency out the frickin door?.......

Or how about the way -the same ol lady sits there and puts your insurance through AGAIN-the same as the day before, like I have run out and quit my frickin job?

OR how about the moms and dads that sit on their a$$ drawing all the welfare, but when you go in and apply for a grant -they say.OOPS sorry -you don't meet our criteria--you make to much...MAKE TO MUCH? Whatever! You try to feed four kids on no hours at work and travel 4 hrs to and from the hospital!!!

Ohhhhhhh then there is my favorite....Can you come on in today so we can check this or that? I drive 4 hours to the University and the MACHINE is BROKE down till the next day? hmmmmm it makes you wonder if they have small kids waiting for you at home..missing their First Communion Meetings, soccer practices, DARE programs, or making their supper and putting them to bed? WTF!

My new version of cancer is as follows.....

Cancer: Takes your soul, spits it out....makes your pride disappear........Runs poison through your veins till you can't see straight.....turns your tongue into a metal plate........makes you dizzy--and you can't stand straight......takes your life and spits it out on your UN- EATEN DINNER PLATE~

Ok--so that was lame( I never claimed to be a poet)...I know.....Chin up Mom! Blah Blah Blah....I hate this- I really do..the fake smiles you have to put on for your family and friends..."How ya doing", ~Ohhhhhh GREAT GREAT....lil sick every now and then--but other then that...10ft tall and bullet proof!~--then ya walk away to puke up everything you did get to ingest today...:-5 I really don't know why I am so down---probably because once again I am leaving for the hospital and having to be gone for 3 days from my kids...:-1 but I knew if I told my "local friends or my family" I would have them all worried....so you take this with a grain of salt and know I was just having to B*%$# to somebody --and you all are my favorite somebodies!:-6 I miss and luv u guys!!!! :-4

Mom....no words, just big hugs for you....rant away because it does you good ...:-4 :yh_hugs :-4

mominiowa wrote: Ok So here it is.......I never come by and see my friends anymore --so there are millions of newbies here, so u won't know what I am complaining about-.....BUT- I do have to tell you my new view on cancer and my life....I am ranting -venting -crying, and even laughing as I write this..so be prepared! Sweep it under the carpet or read it...I just need to SCREAM!



How can one thing take over your life..control it--spill poison through your body...take your smile-turn it upside down...make you want to abandon ship and run into the dark scary forest...knowing when you get in there it has got to be better then the Radiology Dept.?

How about trying to find a way to shove a bomb up your oncologists ass and blow his 3rd year residency out the frickin door?.......

Or how about the way -the same ol lady sits there and puts your insurance through AGAIN-the same as the day before, like I have run out and quit my frickin job?

OR how about the moms and dads that sit on their a$$ drawing all the welfare, but when you go in and apply for a grant -they say.OOPS sorry -you don't meet our criteria--you make to much...MAKE TO MUCH? Whatever! You try to feed four kids on no hours at work and travel 4 hrs to and from the hospital!!!

Ohhhhhhh then there is my favorite....Can you come on in today so we can check this or that? I drive 4 hours to the University and the MACHINE is BROKE down till the next day? hmmmmm it makes you wonder if they have small kids waiting for you at home..missing their First Communion Meetings, soccer practices, DARE programs, or making their supper and putting them to bed? WTF!

My new version of cancer is as follows.....

Cancer: Takes your soul, spits it out....makes your pride disappear........Runs poison through your veins till you can't see straight.....turns your tongue into a metal plate........makes you dizzy--and you can't stand straight......takes your life and spits it out on your UN- EATEN DINNER PLATE~

Ok--so that was lame( I never claimed to be a poet)...I know.....Chin up Mom! Blah Blah Blah....I hate this- I really do..the fake smiles you have to put on for your family and friends..."How ya doing", ~Ohhhhhh GREAT GREAT....lil sick every now and then--but other then that...10ft tall and bullet proof!~--then ya walk away to puke up everything you did get to ingest today...:-5 I really don't know why I am so down---probably because once again I am leaving for the hospital and having to be gone for 3 days from my kids...:-1 but I knew if I told my "local friends or my family" I would have them all worried....so you take this with a grain of salt and know I was just having to B*%$# to somebody --and you all are my favorite somebodies!:-6 I miss and luv u guys!!!! :-4
Yep. Sounds about right.

I went through this with my mother.

But I can tell you from a childs perspective, that there is nothing more frightening, and I do mean NOTHING, than the possibility of losing your mother.

I was even reduced to bargaining with God. The argument I used was 'Well you have your mother with you! Please let me keep mine!' Pathetic, I know, but there it is.

You MUST hang in there. Because to lose you, well.......there is no getting over that. EVER.

I am happy to report that I still have my mother with me. She went through the chemo from hell. 2 courses of it. Adriamycin first then the Taxol. It was 6 months of hell. But that was over 8 years ago. And she is still ALIVE!

I can still hear her voice, see her smile and feel her hugs. You see, even at my age, I still need my mother.

And yours need you too! Keep up the good fight!

Most of us have been touched by cancer. We're here for you. So when you reach your nadir, come and vent. We've been there. And we're here for you too!

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs :yh_hugs loads of hugs coming your way! Keep fighting Mom, we miss you around here too.:-4

i too watched my Mom suffer this way. Mom it is heart-wrenching to read your post...but please come here as often as you want to scream it out. you're loved here. and many here pray for you. :yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_flower :yh_hugs

Mom, I hate to tell you this, but we worry too.

But, this is one heck of a place to vent and get it all out.

Mom you vent away all you want, we here don't mind. We are all pulling for you and your in our hearts and minds. I have to wonder did you get all that nasty show I saw on the news yesterday.

Huggs to you hun, I wish there was more we could do for you.

Venting is good. I've missed seeing you. I've been where you are and I love your poem! You nailed it! Keep the faith, sister.

And please pm me if you want to just **** and moan to someone who does know what it's like. For me the hardest part was having to be strong to support my family who was trying their best to support me. But you can see the weakness in their eyes. :-1

HUGE HUGS!!!:-4

SweetDarlin wrote: Venting is good. I've missed seeing you. I've been where you are and I love your poem! You nailed it! Keep the faith, sister.

And please pm me if you want to just **** and moan to someone who does know what it's like. For me the hardest part was having to be strong to support my family who was trying their best to support me. But you can see the weakness in their eyes. :-1

HUGE HUGS!!!:-4


again another good reason why FG is such a great place to spend time. We genuinely care for each other.

God I wish I knew what to say. Maybe just that when I read these things from you I think about you and wish I could touch you.

Mom, You rant, you scream, you swear, you kick, do what ever it takes to get it out ...!! What your going through is no picnic. YOUR ONE BRAVE LADY..!! you know exactly what is going on and you still keep your chin up..!!:-4 I wish there was something I could do to make your life easier right now.. we do worry about you as well..@@@!!:-4 I know it all seems so overwhelming each day, I don't know how you do it..You have my upmost respect ....!! I pray each night it will get better for you..!!

Mom, rant all you want, your FG family is here for you, and on your side against that dreadful disease. It is unfathomable for us to really know what you're going through. All that can be said is, may God finally start to get around to blessing you! You deserve it 10 fold already. You will be in my thoughts & prayers.:yh_pray

I can't improve on what anyone has said so won't even try, but when

you are able to get back here and read this, I hope you realize how much

we all care... we're pullin' for ya in every way possible!!



:-4

I get so wrapped up in my own problems..... I didnt know this was going on in your life. I will bundle up all the positive energy I have in me... and cosmicly send it your way. Everyone here who loves you is doing the same. There is no better medicine. As far as the attitudes of the medical profession go.... they are an arrogant bunch.. and many times they lack any empathy for people at all. If you can muster the strength to do so..... tell them off now and then. They need it and it will make you feel great. I send hugs your way also. I am squeezing your hand

right this moment.

weeder wrote: I get so wrapped up in my own problems


Me too, Weeder. And thanks, Mom, for unintentionally reminding me that I do. Lots of hugs and love to you, Mom, and, of course, I'm here if you want to chat...just let me know

:yh_hugs :yh_hugs

I'm sending loving thoughts and prayers, Mom - hang in there!!!!!

we are all pulling for you lady.

minks wrote: we are all pulling for you lady.


bump

My thoughts and prayers are with you! :yh_hugs

mrsK wrote: Bump:-6


This is why we are pulling together and helping out one of our own.

I can not tell you enough how thankful I am for all of you...you truly are a bunch of angels....Much thanks and love to you all. I promise to post more--but I won't cry and scream...:-3 ok,,maybe not.:-4 Thank you again. Dawn

mominiowa wrote: I can not tell you enough how thankful I am for all of you...you truly are a bunch of angels....Much thanks and love to you all. I promise to post more--but I won't cry and scream...:-3 ok,,maybe not.:-4 Thank you again. Dawn


tis your page write away we are all ears, hearts and shoulders.

mominiowa wrote: I can not tell you enough how thankful I am for all of you...you truly are a bunch of angels....Much thanks and love to you all. I promise to post more--but I won't cry and scream...:-3 ok,,maybe not.:-4 Thank you again. Dawn
Mom...you come here and vent all you want! There are many here that will lend an ear for you to bend, yell or scream at. We are here for you! You're a brave woman! Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers Big, big hugs to you lady!!!! :-4 :-4